Live broadcast: Taoist priest, stop pretending, you are cultivating immortals

If it hadn't become popular, let alone a toilet, I probably wouldn't even be able to afford a brick.

Zhang Sheng sighed and firmly picked up a fennel bean, threw it into his mouth, and bit the bean until it creaked.

He took a sip of the wine, rinsed his mouth, and said in a low tone: "Boy, these beans have been stored for a long time, and they are almost turning into iron beans. Next time, eat earlier."

"Your uncle, I have lived most of my life. Even the outrageous thing like a domineering female president marrying a security guard, I have seen it with my own eyes."

"However, have you ever heard of the owner of the store giving Guanghan Palace to the ordinary lead dancers in the store?"

Just after Daoist Zhang finished speaking, there was a muffled thunder in the sky above Tianyuan Taoist Temple.

Jiang Yun looked up at the sky in shock, and he looked back at his uncle.

Daoist Zhang was unmoved, poured himself another drink, and drank a glass.

This muffled thunder came at the right time, and it was really hard not to let the audience in the live broadcast room think about it.

"Damn it, isn't the Jade Emperor killing people to silence him?"

"Daozhang Zhang, you know too much, it's dangerous to speak out!"

"Good guy, I tmd call him good guy, it seems that the old Taoist knows a lot."

"666, it seems that heaven is also the world, and cultivating immortals must understand the ways of the world [cover face]"

"It's over, do I know now, Jade Emperor's little secret, I won't be struck by lightning?"

"Fellow daoists, don't be afraid, it's useless for us to be afraid..."

Jiang Yun looked at the sky with lingering fear, and then decided to stop talking to his uncle about topics related to the above.

He looked down at the barrage in the live broadcast room on his mobile phone, and then asked a very common question.

"Uncle, a female layman asked you, do you have any little magic to judge a person's character?"

"How can you use magic to judge a person's character?" Uncle Zhang frowned, and scolded: "We must believe in science!"

"To judge a person's character, you only need to understand his biological clock."

Jiang Yun asked: "Master, what if that person goes to bed at 10:00 in the evening and wakes up at 6:00 in the morning?"

"This kind of person is extremely self-disciplined and will separate work and life. Most of them are contemporary ruthless people. From the analysis of personality, they are more rational than emotional."

After Uncle Zhang finished speaking, many water friends in the live broadcast room turned on the smelly and shameless mode.

"The old Taoist is really right, I am."

"The work and rest time of the two priests seems to be like that."

"I remember when I was stepping on a sewing machine in prison, I went to bed at 10:00 in the evening and woke up at 6:00 in the morning."

"Dear friends, please call me the contemporary ruthless person, or the emperor of the ruthless person [dog head saves life]"

Jiang Yun frowned. He remembered that during this period of time, the author of the one he was chasing after was really a bit inappropriate.

"Master, what do you mean if a person goes to bed at 12:00 in the evening and wakes up at 9:00 in the morning?"

"Heh, that kind of people are usually in the late stage of procrastination, such as the writers of online articles, who update their points for full attendance, but they usually have a good heart." Uncle Zhang gritted his teeth.

The water friends in the live broadcast room nodded in agreement.

"Fuck, the old Taoist priest also reads online articles, right?"

"One day I will catch the author I am following and stew that guy!"

"Fellow Daoist, what you should be talking about is that so-and-so, please give me a hindrance when you stew him."

"It's stewed, it's too cheap for that kind of person, I think it should be delicious, it's best to grill it alive, and then add more cumin and chili noodles [Angry]"

"If you go to bed at 3:00 in the evening, what about starting at 7:00 the next day?"

After Jiang Yun finished speaking, he looked at Xiaobai, and immediately added: "Master, don't look at me like that. I'm just asking a friend. I usually go to bed early."

"Beeeeeeeeee~~"

Xiaobai squatted aside and hummed coquettishly.

Uncle Zhang nodded thoughtfully, and said, "Young people should know how to control themselves, boy, the kind of people you mentioned usually have a rich nightlife."

He stressed and read the word Ye, as if it meant something.

"This kind of person is generally more powerful in the later stage, and the coffin is usually rectangular, understand?"

Many water friends immediately became nervous, especially those who had just started a relationship or were newly married.

"Fuck, wife, what the old Taoist said makes sense!"

"Fellow daoists, I don't need to go to the later stage, I can't do it now, my body has been injured by alcohol and sex, my wife asked me to quit drinking [crying]"

"Hiss, my coffin is rectangular, fellow daoists, please help me build it."

"I told my partner this way, it is feudal superstition for my partner to say what the old Taoist said [cover face]"

"The feudal superstition is actually good. I was punched two miles away by my wife with a toilet. Fortunately, I am in Hainan and it is not cold at night."

Jiang Yun hugged Xiaobai, and he whispered something in Xiaobai, Xiaobai covered his face with his hands, and hummed.

Casually, he ran back to the room in a hurry, as if he was going to bed early to keep fit.

"Uncle Master, there are a lot of melons recently, and the unit is still in billions. A layman asked you if you have seen the news of public opinion and eaten melons after you went down the mountain recently?"

Uncle Zhang's expression immediately became serious when he heard about the billion.

His elderly parents sighed and complained, "Yes, that's true. After the old man went down the mountain, he also read those news. It really feels like a lifetime away."

"The old man seriously suspects that I am on the mountain, and you guys secretly engage in inflation at the foot of the mountain. If you didn't bring me with you, it would be outrageous."

"More than one billion, we normal people only have two opportunities every year to get access to this huge amount."

Jiang Yun froze for a moment, he tried hard to recall his life, and then felt that his uncle was talking nonsense.

What the hell, an ordinary person like myself, how can he get access to a huge amount of hundreds of millions, twice a year?

"Once during Chinese New Year and once during Qingming Festival, when did the old man say nonsense?"

Jiang Yun arched his hands to his uncle, and sighed: "Uncle, listening to your words is better than a ten-year grave."

The water friends in the live broadcast room all set up tables, and couldn't help laughing out loud.

"Good guy, once in Chinese New Year, once in Qingming Festival, the old Taoist master's mind is really clear."

"Hey, if I have one billion, then if I sweep shared bicycles, I have to sweep two, ride one and lead one!"

"Fellow Daoist, why do you dream so cautiously? I guess your monthly salary doesn't even reach the threshold [funny]"

"I'm heartbroken, every time I turn on my phone, the most heartbreaking sentence I encounter is that my hand is slow and the red envelope is gone."

"The last time I heard about 13 billion was in the census. Poverty limited my imagination."

"The two priests don't understand the market. It should be many times, once during Chinese New Year, once during Qingming Festival, and n times in hotels [dog head saves life]"

------------

Chapter 278 The Sword Comes (seeking a monthly ticket)

Uncle Zhang is old, so compared with young people, he is not on the same channel at all, but what he said makes sense.

Jiang Yun flipped through his phone and tried to pick some boring questions.

"Uncle, someone asked you if you would return Li Chungang's Ten Thousand Swords to the sect. If you are willing to perform it, he can swipe ten treasure maps."

The water friends who don't think it's a big deal to watch the excitement in the live broadcast room immediately set up a follow-up barrage.

"Daozhang Zhang, let's do a show. I'll use Huya No. [-]."

"I'm ashamed in my pocket, but if I can see Wan Jian return to the sect with my own eyes, I'm willing to swipe ten money guns to show my heart."

"No way, no way, can't there really be Wanjian returning to the sect?"

"Is the Taoist priest an open-eyed person when he sees money, I will give you forty tiger food No. [-]!"

Uncle Zhang looked at the water friends who wanted to collect gifts in the live broadcast room. He hiccupped, got up from the chair, and then bent down to pick up a branch on the ground.

"Pindao is an honest person. Since laymen want to spend money to see Wan Jian Guizong, then this small request is not too much, not too much at all."

"Fighting swords in the snow, the old man is also chasing after him. In the play, Li Chungang's return of the ten thousand swords does have merit!"

He waved the branch in his hand and shouted loudly: "Boy, come with the sword!"

……

Whoohoo!

In front of the Taoist temple, a cool breeze blows.

Uncle Zhang is still Uncle Zhang, that branch is still that branch, nothing has changed.

"Boy, come with the sword!"

The uncle yelled again, and Jiang Yun realized that the old man was calling himself.

"Uncle, my master never taught me to return the ten thousand swords to the sect!"

"Pedantry, the way of the sword is the way, and there are many versions of Wan Jian Gui Zong. Why do you have to learn Li Chungang's Wan Jian Gui Zong? It's just a TV series!"

"We must believe in science and use our ten thousand swords to return to the sect. Uncle Master is not good at swordsmanship, so we can only pin our hopes on you!" Uncle Zhang said solemnly.

Jiang Yun had black lines on his face, and his expression was extremely reluctant.

"Uncle, you can't just force me to use sword moves I haven't learned for the sake of making money. Isn't that driving ducks to the shelves?"

"Oh, it's money, it's not shabby. I just made a calculation with my fingers. Today, your sword practice will definitely improve. It's no problem to return to the sect with all your swords."

Jiang Yun was helpless, he pulled out the Sanqing Sword from his waist, and then swung a white sword aura.

in the darkness.

One sword qi became two sword qi, two sword qi became three sword qi, and then ten thousand sword qi.

Boom boom boom! ! !

The bamboo forest in the backyard of the Taoist temple was directly bombarded by tens of thousands of sword qi.

The visual effect is very explosive, but after the drone flew over and checked the results of the battle, many water friends were speechless.

The tens of thousands of sword qi did not cut even a single bamboo, but a lot of bamboo leaves were scraped off, and the whole bamboo forest suffered a little flesh injury.

"I thought the Daoist master would use his big move, but I didn't expect it to be anticlimactic [cover face]"

"This...is this really Wan Jian Guizong?"

"It's over, the dream of Wan Jian returning to the sect in my heart was shattered to the ground."

"Fellow daoists, can I give you a weak shout, refund the money!"

"No more rewards, no more rewards, this Wan Jian Gui Zong is too watery!"

Jiang Yun looked at the barrage of water friends in his live broadcast room, and he said lightly: "Ladies and gentlemen, we must believe in science and the conservation of quality!"

"Pindao split one sword qi into tens of thousands of sword qi. Naturally, the sword qi has no lethality. Everyone must understand!"

Uncle Zhang didn't speak at the side, he silently shared the photos he captured with the Daoist family group.

[Tianyuan Daoist Zhang Shengtan]: "Dear friends, have you seen Wan Jian Guizong?"

A photo is attached.

Then, the qq group where the bosses gathered exploded immediately.

The leader of the group, Daoist Zhang Benchu ​​of the Sanfeng faction, has been watching the online water groups all year round, and he stood up immediately.

"Fuck, Fellow Daoist Jiang really made Wan Jian Guizong come out, my fellow Daoist in Wudang Mountain is awesome!"

[Wudang faction Mo Yuan]: "Wait a minute, Sanqing sword, ten thousand swords belong to the sect, this is unscientific!"

[Miaoyu Daoist of the Emei Sect]: "@[Tianyuan Daoguan Jiangyun], little friend Jiang, come to our Emei Sect to play when you have time. Many of my female disciples admire you very much."

[Hunyuan faction Lei Mo'an]: "It's outrageous, anyway it's outrageous."

[Zhou Cen, head of the Eight Diagrams Sect]: "Hey, as we all know, there are evildoers in Tianyuan, everyone calm down."

【Strong Fist Guo Ming】: "Hello, fellow Taoists, let me tell you something weak, my big brother is awesome."

……

Jiang Yun didn't know that he became the center of the topic again in the Daoist family group.