Restricted Doomsday Syndrome

No matter when, the worst situation I encounter is always the kind of attack on consciousness, thought, and logic of thought. Most of these attacks are invisible and intangible, and it is difficult to confirm exactly when they started and when they ended. There was no clear turning point in the whole process. When one begins to fear, frustrate, and despair, when one's thoughts begin to swell, one's thinking begins to confuse, and one's emotions begin to rise and fall, it is difficult to say that one can stop if one wants to stop. It is precisely because I have experienced too many times that I understand more clearly that people ’s “inside” and “outside” have a complicated system of hierarchical division, and subjective consciousness can never be implemented into the depths of self. And such a situation is never what the story says, or what people often imagine, is a "bad" thing.

Perhaps many people feel that "implementing self-awareness in every cell" or "subjectively controlling every part of the mind and body" is a powerful expression. However, I feel that it should be the performance of non-human, and it is an important basis for distinguishing between "human" and "non-human". It is impossible for "human beings" to completely control their own consciousness and eliminate the dividing line between their subconscious and surface consciousness, nor can they only think what they want, only do what they want, as described in the novel. Consciousness, subconsciousness, and behavior become a unity, and in the fullest sense the philosophy of "integration of knowledge and action" is achieved.

Yes, people can't do it, only non-humans can do it. When people can do it, people are no longer humans. And this is not a problem in the conceptual sense, but a more objective structural problem. The structure of human beings, from atoms and even subatoms to the structural level of quantum, as well as the macro-coordination between humans and the universe, as well as the sociality between human beings, human existence does not have a complete "knowledge and action cooperation" The condition of "one" does not have the condition of complete "idea access". The self-consciousness and personality structure show a clear layering, which is determined by the human's own constituent factors and basic structural methods. It is the reason for "human" It is one of the important characteristics of human beings.

It is impossible to achieve the ideal and complete integration of consciousness and behavior in philosophy without changing its basic structure and basic constituent factors. Once the basic structural factors are changed, for example, it is no longer carbon-based, it becomes something else, or something that cannot be naturally generated at all, and for example, it is no longer the existing bones, nerves, internal organs and even the brain. The structure, and other structures, changes in this basic structure and factors will definitely lead to changes in self-ideology.

Conversely, because my own basic structure and constitutional factors are like this, there is an inevitable law, a limited outline, and certain fixed patterns in my own self-conscious activity. My consciousness and personality mechanism are firmly confined to a frame, it can be smaller than this frame, but it is absolutely impossible to pass this frame-unless, from the basic nature, I produce a more thorough change .

I am a patient with Doomsday Syndrome, this point no longer requires sophistry, and, whether in the hospital reality or in the Doomsday Illusion, my body parts and physiological functions have been quite different from the average person. The pathology caused by "virus" is a change from a very meticulous point of view, from a microscopic level that is difficult to observe. Even so, when it is not from the quantum or subatomic level To observe, but to observe from the level of cellular genes, I still have great similarities with the "human" in the normal sense.

It is these similarities that make my self-awareness and personality structure different from the average person, and also have many similarities to human beings.

In my opinion, it is wrong to split the spirit and material, and treat the changes as "intelligent spirit" and "ideology" as independent things. But even if we observe ourselves in isolation, emotions, thoughts, thinking, personality, consciousness activities ... these things observed from a spiritual point of view are not completely beyond the framework of "humanity", but most of them are still in this Within the framework.

Whether in the hospital reality or in the illusion of doomsday, there is a certain kind of power that erodes the self of the patient at all times, especially in the illusion of doomsday. This situation is more obvious.

Every time I think, every time I pursue self-consistency from a logical level, every time I struggle to wake up from a nightmare, every time I observe and judge myself, it is never "correct". Needless to say, I ca n’t judge myself at all. What I thought, and even produced such thoughts, emotions, and self-cognition of myself is "correct". Because, there is no such thing as the most accurate template to refer to. And my observation and adjustment of self-consciousness was never for "correctness", but only for "continuation".

Once emotions are out of control, once thinking enters a dead end, and once consciousness falls into extreme madness and despair, it means that self-consciousness is undergoing a great test. Emotional adjustment is not possible every time. In your observations, your own thinking creates contradictions, your own thinking expands, or other changes are not under your control. In order to defend in a timely manner and avoid repeated erosion, all I can do is maintain a self-consistent logic to allow myself to accept the changes that I have made on the level of consciousness, no matter what is good. , Or it is bad.

Among the many mysterious experts I have seen, there are many people with strong willpower who can achieve the unity of knowledge and action to a certain extent, but they are all dead, all mad, and all fall into the truth of the end. Different people have different interpretations of this situation, and it seems to me that this is the result of their inability to complete mental adaptation and logical self-consistency within the existing self-frame within a limited time. When their ideology and philosophical philosophy change, they have only two options: "self-destruction" and "accepting the truth of the end". Their seemingly degenerate stance, in fact, in many cases, they chose to accept the doomsday truth in order to survive, and made this preference for the latter, regardless of their subjective consciousness, regardless of their subjective will How powerful, how much resistance to the truth of the end, is useless. "Man cannot integrate subjective consciousness and subconsciousness, and cannot integrate all consciousness and completely integrate his own behavior." This is the basis of man. The most basic framework for the conscious activity determined by the construction is the decisive factor.

Just like people's nerve reflexes, they have to slip in the direction of the truth of the end in an extreme environment, under the attack that their thinking logic and ideology are enduring.

The reason why I can persist longer than other patients with Doomsday Syndrome is, in my opinion, precisely because I try to create the first before leaving only the two options of "Self Destruction" and "Accept Doomsday Truth." The three options, or rather, before reaching the step of "self-destruction", I have struggled with ideology and logic in order not to eventually fall to this point.

This is a very complicated situation, and I have not studied the situation clearly. I am just very sure that my mysterious thinking, observation of self, pursuit of thought, and pursuit of philosophy, whether passive or active in the eyes of others, or passive or positive, this The behavior itself is not the pursuit of "correctness", but merely to protect itself ideologically.

My thinking is constantly inflating, even when fighting, it is undeniable that this will inevitably affect the behavior-more dull than normal, the response is not timely enough, and even the thinking is messy, contradictory, and weird behaviors, these It ’s all understandable, and it ’s definitely something that will happen. Strictly speaking, it may even endanger your own life. In the eyes of many people, this is definitely a shackle, a bad performance and no benefit.

I thought that way at first, but when I had to think, think instinctively, and constantly think about questions like "the meaning of my own thinking behavior at this moment", I finally came to the conclusion that those thinking results might Ridiculous, maybe absurd, or meaningless, but the act of "thinking" itself is of great significance. It can even be said that the phenomenon of "uncontrollable expansion of thinking" is not entirely a bad meaning. The maintenance of self-existence and cognition has extremely important significance.

It is through these intractable and misleading thinking activities that when I feel my "deterioration", I can also maintain a state of self-cognition that "I am still Gaochuan and have not become something else".

To put it more simply: As Gao Chuan, whether it is the transformation of material form into LcL or the deterioration of the level of spiritual consciousness, it is extremely bad. However, there are definitely worse things. However, I ended up just "bad" and The "worst" edge lingered, without falling into the "worst" situation, entirely thanks to the seemingly pathological thinking.

Compared to the vaguely "worse" and "worst" situations, my vicious reaction today is a relatively good situation.

I am able to maintain my current self in my thinking, so that I will not fall into a worse situation. This is the most meaningful result of those seemingly self-deception, pretending to be mysterious thinking activities. Conversely, if I stop thinking, stop being logically self-consistent, and stop trying to dig out meaning from the struggle of ignorance, I will probably collapse long ago and give up hope long ago Well, I have long been caught in that extreme madness and fear, and lost my mind, or maybe it is no longer "Gaochuan" but something else.

All the ideas mentioned above are all carried out in the course of combat, and such thinking itself is my observation of myself. Through this kind of thinking activity, I re-contract myself from the spiritual level and become stronger, so as not to be struck by the despair, madness and fear. In the process of thinking and self-observation, I suffered more damage than before, but as long as I did not die, I think this choice is correct.

In the battle full of mysterious forces that I have experienced, being killed physically at the physical level and being destroyed by the personality and spirit by the force that directly impacts the ideology and consciousness are completely different results. From the perspective of "Gaochuan", even if I am annihilated here by these chaotic mysterious phenomena, or if it is crushed by Nazi soldiers and security guards, it is only the death of "I", and "Gaochuan" will still exist. . However, once I collapsed in my spiritual personality, it would be unpredictable what kind of negative impact it would eventually have on the ideology of Gaochuan.

What does a person's real death look like? The ancients said that it was forgotten.

What does death look like for a modern person? Many people think that it turned into a corpse.

However, for me, ideological self-destruction is the real death. And in this mysterious battlefield, all attacks against ideology and thinking logic, those who do not know where to start and where to end, invisible and invisible attacks are truly terrible attacks.

The ancients once said that all struggles involving ideology, thinking and ideology are truly cruel struggles, a more decisive and thorough struggle than physical destruction, and I think so.

What I am facing now is such a cruel and thorough battle. What really kills me is not the mysterious phenomena that hurt the body and destroy the body, nor the naked Nazi soldiers and security guards ~ www. readwn.com ~ is not a conspiracy of doomsday truth, and these magnificent macro ceremonies are like turning each participant into one of its parts and sacrifices. But in these appearances of behavior, the hidden ones like the spring breeze eroded me, trying to destroy the invisible and intangible things of self-cognition from spiritual thought and ideology.

I bleed, I was injured, what internal organs were pierced, what limbs were cut off, Qian Yiyi would not let my head fall, or blind eyes, ears hurt, no sound, even , The severe pain has always spread on the nerves. What illusions are present in my mind, making myself make mistakes-and so on, these tangible injuries do not make me feel so scared.

What really scares me is what I perceive, changes in my consciousness and thoughts, and changes in self-cognition when I observe myself.

I do n’t mind how many enemies were killed, or where they would be killed by these enemies, but mind that there is some kind of power here, trying to separate “I” from “Gaochuan” and become a certain Kind of independent thing.

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