Restricted Doomsday Syndrome

The story I wrote describing the doomsday illusion and the reality of the hospital is unsurprisingly regarded as evidence of "delusion" by Dr. Ruan Li. However, because he entered the role he played, he did not resist this situation. I am not only the adopted son of Dr. Ruan Li, but also her patient. This status will continue until I leave here. Although, I didn't find a way to return to Las Vegas in the Doomsday Illusion. However, the stronger the sense of presence of "Jiang", the more I feel a sense of urgency that I am about to leave here. This world is ordinary. I am not going to stay here for a long time. I am afraid that it will invite the distortions that distort this ordinary world. .

I have customized a time for my return, and a series of methods to try to return. It turns out that just focusing on "delusion" of the Doomsday Illusion ca n’t bring me back to the Doomsday Illusion. It ’s just based on The delusions of this world are only. As for completely denying the existence of this world, I cannot do it because I like this world. Not denying this world, but wanting to return to the illusion of doomsday, seems to be a very difficult thing, even if my identity is often caught in a delusional world, mental patients who confuse delusion and reality can not do it-probably because of it. Not so, so my performance in Dr. Ruan Li's interpretation is proof that the mental symptoms have improved.

"Parody is not a bad thing." On this day, Dr. Ruan Li said to me: "Everyone, from childhood to adulthood, will more or less have illusions about something normal or abnormal, especially children, because their minds are immature For this reason, when they look at the world with a naive perspective, they will always find that this world has many things beyond their horizons. Although it is a natural existence for adults, it is difficult for children Cognitive, therefore, will produce fear, repulsion and curiosity towards them, and treat it as a foreign body. And then become one of the sources of their delusions. Human beings are in this fear of the unknown and trying to see from their own perspective. Unknown growth and progress in interpretation. From this perspective, it is not unreasonable to call delusion a driving force for human progress. "She said here, paused, and I sat quietly in a chair for dinner The line of sight meets only at this time. Her eyes are particularly like the doctor Ruan Li in the hospital.

She went on to say: "However, take the delusions that you deliberately take for granted, and do not go deep into why it is so, and then accept their existence with the concept of foreign objects, you will have Achuan your current problem. The so-called foreign objects , Is a concept distinguished from normal things. Normal things are often boring, boring, complicated and uninteresting. In contrast, foreign objects are naturally interesting and mysterious. It is scary but full of excitement In other words, when a foreign object becomes an ordinary object in the perspective, it will lose these attractive qualities, but for a person to grow up and live a normal life, what is needed is an ordinary object rather than a foreign object. The foreign body in the field of vision is transformed into the concept of ordinary things. It is a process of a person's maturity, because foreign objects decrease and ordinary things increase, so the adult world is often boring and tiresome because of a person and foreign objects The range of contact is extremely limited, the more you reach the edge of this range, the less foreign objects you can touch, and the more common objects you can. The degree, not being overwhelmed by the speed of being transformed into ordinary things, is probably to constantly expand your cognitive margins and reach out to scientific researchers with deep knowledge. However, not everyone has such talents, and they cannot expand throughout their lives. People who touch the boundaries of the scope account for a huge majority in this world, so these people will feel bored in life as adults, and this also means their maturity. "

"It sounds like maturity is not a good word." I replied that way.

"Maybe, however, in my dictionary, maturity is neither a commendatory nor a derogatory term." Dr. Ruan Li blinked and smiled: "It's just the manifestation of everyone's limit and the need for social division of labor, it The meaning it represents is complex, but it is indispensable. So to describe it, maturity can also mean stability, and a stable component is a necessary factor for the stable operation of large machines in human society. You will not feel that unstable Machines made of parts can work better? Human society needs mature people, and the reason can be explained in such a simple way. Immature people are either new parts that can be processed or damaged parts that have been confirmed. Social machines will naturally Get rid of it. Achuan, you know I ’m committed to psychology research, and its purpose is to— "

"Save the damaged parts?" I said.

"No, I do n’t have that ability. It ’s just that the in-depth study of a subject, especially the psychology department, can make the self-discipline screening function of social machines become more refined and perfect. Parts that have been confirmed to be damaged in the past are It seems that it is just because the screening mechanism is too rough to screen out the parts that may actually be repaired. Under the new mechanism, this screening may be more precise. "Dr. Ruan Li said confidently To. Her description is very popular, even if I only have the knowledge of high school students, I can understand it, and this is the first time I heard that Dr. Ruan Li's research turned out to have such profound ideas and ideas. As far as my personal feelings are concerned, the adoptive mother Ruan Li sitting in front of him is much better than the actual doctor Ruan Li in the hospital.

"What a great goal." What else can I say? Her philosophy does make me think that this is a great and logical path. Maybe she can't succeed alone, but she can't deny that there are places that attract people to study along this path. I admire Dr. Ruan Li like this, because this is the second time I have seen a researcher who clearly stated his scientific concept. The first one is probably Dr. Ande in the reality of the hospital.

And precisely because there are doctors in the hospital's reality, and this very real world has Dr. Ruan Li, so again I can't deny that the actual existence of this world-suppose this world is a repeater based on my consciousness changes The ideological hallucinations out of the cage, then, there can be no such high-level ideas that I can't touch, or even never think about. Compared with the world with such high-level ideas, it is more unreal and unreal to show completely uninterpretable weirdness and mysterious doomsday illusions.

"But, does it seem too harsh for human society to screen parts so precisely?" I have no objection to Dr. Ruan Li's views on this issue. However, there are also my own doubts, "A harsh society may operate more efficiently, but it is also easy to collapse because of details. Is a too sophisticated society lacking self-regulation?"

Dr. Ruan Li stopped chopsticks in surprise. She seemed to think that it was an incredible thing for me to make such a view, and I intuitively felt from her eyes that she was not surprised because I was right, but because the question I asked was wrong when she wanted to of. So I was surprised.

"Did you really think this way? A Chuan." Dr. Ruan Li frowned slightly, but released it quickly. "Also, you have been very smart since you were a child, and there are many professional books to read at home, so your contact The face is much wider than that of ordinary children. However, your acceptance is not more than that of ordinary children. It can only be said that it is ordinary and excellent. Therefore, it has caused more foreign objects in your cognition than ordinary objects. This has led to today's mental problems, something I didn't pay attention to normally. "After correcting his face. She began to deny my previous question with a determined attitude: "Humans can recognize that they are already the most intelligent creatures on this planet, and therefore realize how strong their independence is, and thus produce human individuals and humans. The connection between societies is not as illusory as it was originally imagined. For example, the lack of a certain human individual in human society will not stop running, and then it will develop to the point where the human individual has left the human society, and there will be nothing missing. Ca n’t survive. Some people even think that human society ’s integration is not as good as the ant colony. However, as I said before, this is just an illusion. Humans are proud of the maturity of their psychology and consciousness. However, from psychology and consciousness In terms of aspects, human personality is actually thinner than ant's personality. "

I was attracted by Dr. Ruan Li again, only to hear her continue to say: "In the eyes of many people today, human individuals believe that their psychological consciousness is independent and equal after maturity. It is consistent with the consciousness of human society. There is an intersection of morphology, but it will not change its independence because of the existence of this intersection. However, from the scope of psychology and ideology, an interesting conclusion will emerge. Even if the human individual is far away from the human group, his consciousness There is no disconnection from social consciousness. No matter if you are alone, seeking the emergence of a group, or individuals repelling the group under certain circumstances, it means that such an invisible connection exists. Because, after the real disconnection, What is shown should not be hope to join or resist rejection, but a temptation and cognitive ignorance. In the face of the unknown, fear may arise, but fear itself does not lead to joining or resisting, but A pure stimulus and curiosity. Only after you understand it, you will want to join or strongly reject it. Therefore, the attraction of human society to human individuals and the repulsion of human individuals to human society are in fact manifestations of the connection between each other, and attraction and repulsion always exist, naturally meaning that the connection from Not interrupted. "

"This is really ... an interesting statement." I did not comment on its correctness or not, because, I am only an excellent high school student, and Dr. Ruan Li is a psychologist, who has in-depth discussion on this topic qualifications. She may be wrong, but it is just out of conjecture that "she is wrong". I do not have the arrogance to specify whether the research results of this level are correct based on my own cognition. Therefore, I can only use "fun" to represent my silence.

When Dr. Ruan Li talked about this topic, he was so excited that he went on with the previous words: "As far as the consciousness of human beings is concerned, the seemingly independent conscious individual is actually only due to the division of labor required by the ideology of human society. , The part after being cut and processed. The independent personality it possesses is the embodiment of human society's pursuit of its own growth, but it is not really independent and personalized. In simple terms, it is the purpose of human society to identify purpose, It is a copy and clone of its own part, packaged into different things, follow the advantages of diversity development, and conduct macro-level screening and evolution that is beneficial to itself. However, because its core is not so individual and independent, so , Which in turn becomes a proof that individual humans cannot escape their connection with human society. "

"That is to say, the existence of human individuals, and the high degree of personal awakening, prove the indivisibility of human individuals and human society, and the commonness of human society in turn proves that human individuals do not have real personalities?" When I asked this question. I also feel unbelievable about it. The facts embodied in this theory are not superficial than any weird and mysterious existence. It is because it is so complicated that it makes me unconscious and cannot refute its correctness. I know that if I object to it. Dr. Ruan Li has more examples to prove its correctness.

"But what does this have to do with my previous question about the precision of human society?" I asked back to the topic.

"It's such a fool." Dr. Ruan Li's heated tone eased down and said to me: "The complexity of human society is a manifestation of precision, a rough thing. It is impossible to become complicated, otherwise it will Collapse. And since human society is so complicated, once you study it in depth, you will find the existence of many foreign objects that are temporarily difficult to understand. How could it be because of the progress I brought when I transformed some foreign objects into ordinary ones? More precise? Human society is more demanding than anyone thinks. It is also more precise. The changes that my research can bring are nothing more than a drop in the ocean. From the perspective of transforming foreign objects into ordinary objects, perhaps, I The more precise screening mechanism envisaged has long existed and is in operation all the time. What I did was just to unravel its veil and make it change from a non-cognitive foreign body to a confirmed regular It ’s just something. My mentor once told me that the researcher did n’t create anything, and what he did was just let his own eyes. From myopic eyes, infinitely closer to normal, you can see clearly black Deep things. Researchers have not changed anything, all seemingly changed. In fact, it already exists here, but it has not been observed. When I have not worked independently, I often say this I do n’t take it for granted, but now, I have a superficial understanding of it. "

Dr. Ruan Li's topic soon turned to the days when she worked with her subject instructor. The instructor obviously influenced her deeply, but in Dr. Ruan Li's tone, he was not full of complaints. . And when we can talk about that time, it is naturally not an unspeakable past. Such a chat, in fact, after re-confirming Dr. Ruan Li ’s foster mother relationship, dinner occurs every day. The topic often does not have a clear center. It will be extended from one topic to another, and eventually completely separate from the original topic, and then resume Dialogue about some homely things. It's very relaxed and casual, but it makes me think that this is actually Dr. Ruan Li's deliberate move. Although she thinks that my recent "illness" has improved, she still needs further treatment. Through seemingly endless chats, To deepen my rejection of delusions, this is a continuous, suggestive treatment-when I woke up, many days have passed in this way, and these days, in addition to always doing about "Jiang Outside of the nightmare, there is no change in the world. Dr. Ruan Li ’s subtle treatment is indeed full of effects. I think so because I feel that “Jiang” frequently reflects its sense of existence, which is a rebound in the effectiveness of this treatment, but in addition to affecting me, The power of "Jiang" seems to be separated from the world by a thin but tough membrane.

This world is normal, and I am abnormal, and Dr. Ruan Li ’s treatment made my “abnormality” escape the concept of “limitation”. Anomalies are manifestations of the limitations of vision and cognition. Absolutely incomprehensible anomalies do not exist. This is a scientific and ordinary world, and there is no basis for anomalies and mysterious actual existence. Even in a place one million steps ahead of science, it is still the cognition of the scientific category, which dilutes the mysterious concept. And because the concept of the limit of human contact range is also eliminated, the mystery is always out of sight, because, mystery and anomaly are both manifestations of foreign objects, and in the limit of human contact range, foreign objects are constantly transformed into ordinary objects What is reduced is that it has no meaning at all beyond the limits of human exposure, because, since it is not "touched", it cannot naturally reflect its existence. The mystery and anomaly must at least ensure that it exists.

Within the limits of human contact range, there are endless foreign objects, endless weirdness, endless mysteries. Although the limit of contact range of each person may be different, and some geniuses, the limit range is still increasing. , The limit of his own contact range is greater than others, more genius than others. If the limit of my exposure range is not much different from other people, and many people are beyond me, then the abnormalities and mysteries I have observed are naturally extremely nonsense in the eyes of others. It's also ridiculous to be stubborn to think that it is incomprehensible. And I will be rejected by human society as immature individuals, unstable parts, so I am a mental patient, while others are not, I am ridiculously stupid, and others are not.

Conversely, if I cannot become normal, then it is a very normal situation to be rejected by this world. However, the existence of "Jiang" prevented me from becoming normal. Therefore, Dr. Ruan Li never felt that my condition had healed. In her eyes, I have probably been sick many times, and it must be the same afterwards, so I won't take it lightly.

After all, she said something like "You were normal for a while, but always get sick." She does not believe in my spontaneous "healing", but only believes in the data conclusions she has made after years of observation and research.

The problem I need to face now is that I like this world, but this world is repulsive to me, and the resulting pain is real, even if it is still very small at this time, but it will continue to increase as time passes Big. If I want to be accepted by this world, I must accept change, but the existence of "Jiang" prevents me from changing. This is a contradiction, but it is also a fact that cannot be denied. Because of the existence of "Jiang", I and the world are full of irreconcilable conflicts, but even if I want to leave this world, I feel that I can definitely leave, but I cannot find a specific way. During this period, I must also Endure, this world is constantly stimulating "Jiang", and the activity of "Jiang" will have erosive consequences for this world.

I have never felt that this world can resist "Jiang", because, in my understanding, "Jiang" and "Virus" are so full of destructive existence.

I was lying in bed ~ www.readwn.com ~ The neon light outside the window reflected the building next door in red. The color reminded me of "Jiang". I stood up in front of the dressing mirror and stroked my left eye, anyway , And can't feel the presence of "Jiang" when he is awake, as if it were just my illusion at this time. Maybe I should be glad that it will not mess up the world immediately. I fell asleep again, went to sleep, and in the nightmare that I was accustomed to, I felt the agitation of Jiang, and then when I woke up, I felt the remnants of this agitation.

Day after day, I am gradually getting used to this kind of repetition. It seems that there is some kind of symptom leaping, but there is no more specific sign of life. The world is still normal, and my life is still going on smoothly. They don't have too many intersections with Bajing and Misaki. I continue to look for them and the treatment of Dr. Ruan Li continues. Dr. Ruan Li knew who I was looking for, and she offered to help. She believed that the final result would be beneficial to the recovery of my mental state. She asked for help from international friends, but she had no results. There are many girls with the same name. However, the specific identity information is obviously not the person I want to find.

There is no progress in tracing people, but it has further proved how ordinary and normal this world is, and such a stable state of life lasted for two months. If it weren't for "Jiang" every night, it would remind its existence in a nightmare, I'm afraid I would be more thoroughly integrated into this world. (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote for recommendation and monthly tickets. Your support is my biggest motivation. Please read it for mobile users.)