Restricted Doomsday Syndrome

In this ordinary world, my life is as simple as that in the Doomsday Illusion before I was in contact with the toilet talk, just like the time interrupted by the toilet talk is continued here. I don't know when this kind of life will last, and I still have the worry that the abnormality will strike at a certain moment. I follow the path that I should have taken, learning, observing, listening, and searching as an excellent student. The normality of this world cannot eliminate the throbbing caused by Jiang in my nightmare. The world I have experienced, whether it is reality or illusion, cannot allow me to find a definite benchmark to completely distinguish reality from illusion, so even in this extremely real and normal world, my true benchmark There is still only one reference, that is, "Jiang".

If "Jiang" does not exist, then this world will certainly have a substantial difference from the end of the illusion and the reality of the hospital. However, the existence of "Jiang" makes the world and they have no essential difference-this is What I have found is the easiest way to keep my thinking logic and my mind clear, even if this kind of worldview will inevitably make me and other people's "normal" unrelated.

However, one advantage is that because other people cannot observe and recognize the existence of "Jiang", it is difficult to perceive the essential difference between me and them. This makes me look “normal” most of the time. Dr. Ruan Li also feels relieved that my condition has improved, but it is inevitable to deepen the work of psychological guidance, because, in her eyes, I There are too many previous cases of relapse.

Of course, in this world, it seems that the only person who can recognize my "abnormality" is Dr. Ruan Li.

I observed myself and others in silence, reading Dr. Ruan Li's psychology books, but. Dr. Ruan Li opposes me to study some of these theories, because, she believes that understanding psychological knowledge and trying to apply it to herself, if it is a normal person, then it is worth encouraging, but. If it is a mental patient, it is not necessarily a good thing. The situation that "the sick cannot be self-medicated" is a very common situation in psychology. Although this conclusion is a bit unbelievable, the facts are even more shocking. In most cases. People with psychological problems, once they delve deeper into psychology to interpret themselves, even if they were originally thinking of the patient's self-medication, but the result will always "consolidate" their own condition.

"Psychology can summarize the similarities on the psychological level of most people, and can also help a person find out their own psychological level. Different from others, and try to explain, but the abnormalities found by psychology are not It is a mistake. The word 'error' is very ambiguous and must be strictly defined based on a strict system. The mistake in people's common sense is a concept that is strictly defined based on the development needs of human social systems. We say that a person commits Wrong, does not mean that it is wrong in an absolute sense, but only limited to a strict and narrow range, not conducive to its own growth or the operation of a social system. "Dr. Ruan Li seriously I explained: "However, psychology is not just social psychology. Its tentacles involve all aspects. And, it will give different answers to a person's mistakes. A person's abnormalities may be in some The aspect reflects the wrong side, but. Under the analysis of psychology, it will show its non-error in more aspects. "

"That is to say, once a person with psychological problems delves into psychology and uses psychology to interpret their own problems, it tends to tend to their psychological problems rather than the conclusion of the problem?" I already understood what Dr. Ruan Li meant .

"Yes, here is a case of a mental patient who eats people." Dr. Ruan Li took a piece of information from the file bag on the cabinet and motioned me to take a look. "Eating people is extremely important to human society today. Wrong and abnormal, you will not deny this? "

I nodded and opened the data.

"However, such errors and anomalies contain factors that are not just psychological issues, but also ethical issues, biological issues, etc. It is a comprehensive and consistent with the strict definition of human social development. Only from the perspective of psychological research, it can be concluded that eating people is not wrong. The so-called universal concept of cannibalism is actually based on a very high social material basis and based on human own biological The concept defined by **** and wisdom. Because the foundation of this concept is too high, it is actually very fragile and ca n’t be beaten in pure psychology. Because psychology will strip the foundation of all concepts In order to study the influence of various factors on the psychology in the process of forming these concepts. "Dr. Ruan Li paused and could not help asking:" I may be too complicated, can you understand Achuan? "

I nodded my head, although it was a bit complicated, but I still understood the meaning in general: "You mean that the mental activities and concepts of human beings are shaped like muddy sewage. I want to analyze the composition of sewage. As well as the interaction of these components, in order to understand the nature and formation of these sewages, we will adopt the method of separating the sewage components to purify the sewage, and then use these separated components to restore the sewage and analyze it in this process. "

"Yes, it's a very simple research method, isn't it?" Dr. Ruan Li smiled slightly. "But, you also said that the sewage may be toxic, but after separating the ingredients, what you get is nothing but Water purification and other basic ingredients are just that. The guy who eats people is like this, clearly knowing that his actions are wrong, contrary to secular ideas and universal values, he initially only wanted to treat himself through psychology, so I only studied psychology, but after relying on psychology to split my psychological analysis, I can only see a piece of purity ... "Dr. Ruan Li said here, with a sad look on his face.

"So, he no longer thinks he is filthy and wrong. Psychology has changed his basic concept as a link in human society, but consolidated his anomaly. He no longer regards his anomaly as an anomaly, as opposed to , The original normal has become abnormal, or it is not normal or abnormal, there is no right or wrong. There is no value and bias. "Dr. Ruan Li said here, deeply sighed Tone: "Then, he became a perverted murderer, a cannibal demon, and he would not repent until death. Because, psychology made him believe that he was right. Maybe. Psychology is such a kind of Something, it is not to correct something, but only to amplify something, so that people can see it-as for eliminating it, transforming it, or identifying it, it does not depend on the concepts cultivated after speaking out, but only, Human nature's choice. "Dr. Ruan Li said in this way.

"I think your opinion is a bit pessimistic." I still can't say whether her opinion is correct or wrong, because this is the insight that a psychologist has gained in his own field, but to say that it is pessimistic, it is My own thoughts. I also feel that there is no need to cover up.

"Perhaps. Humans are too complicated. The more you study psychology, the more you think it is too complicated." Dr. Ruan Li pinched the bridge of his nose. "Too complicated things are always unflattering, even if they like it. Researchers of complex and exquisite structures will also be dazzled by this unimaginable complexity. It has a magical nature that makes me feel that every time I treat the sick. It seems like there is a self standing on the cliff, anytime It may fall. But at the same time, it makes people want to stop. The more serious the case, the more people want to go deep into it and see what is inside. "

"But. It looks like a bottomless and dark abyss. If you invest too much, you may never get out." I continued her words, and Dr. Ruan Li looked at me in surprise. "I feel the same way, mother." I replied that way.

Dr. Ruan Li's expression became extraordinarily rich, and her voice was a little trembling, but it took a long time for an accurate syllable to be heard. After a while, she controlled her mood.

"Achuan, you finally called my mother. This is the first time you have called me this way since you became sick." Dr. Ruan Li took off his glasses and wiped the corners of his eyes. "Mom is very happy, you don't know, How happy mom is. "

I can only keep silent. I do n’t know what expression to use at this time. When I said the word "Mom", I had no resistance and awkwardness in my heart, as if it should have been this way, but Dr. Ruan Li ’s reaction was a bit too It's too big, but it makes me a little embarrassed.

Dr. Ruan Li seemed to see it, and quickly corrected the topic, saying: "In short, don't study psychology too much in the future, and don't use psychology to analyze or treat yourself. That is what a third-party doctor can do. Things, and as a patient, doing so will only deepen your condition. I am not opposed to reading these books, but, under the current circumstances, you do not need you to use the knowledge in these books to do anything for yourself. We must be more cautious. In the past, you were a child, and I did n’t pay attention to remind you, maybe, even if you remind, you wo n’t listen. But Achuan, you are smarter and more mature than before, so, I think you have enough self-control. We must be careful not to touch the dangers that may make your condition worse. "

"I see." I answered Dr. Ruan Li's eyes squarely and replied that I did not lie. Using psychology will strengthen my mental defense. This is an obvious result, and I no longer need to consolidate my mental defense, because It is already stronger than reinforced concrete. The existence of "Jiang" is like a strong adhesive that continuously deepens the effect.

Dr. Ruan Li nodded with satisfaction.

So I said goodbye and spent the day. I continued to do my homework, watch TV, and search for information on the Internet. Zhenjiang ’s intelligence still did not make any progress. Even though Dr. Ruan Li had asked her international friends to help, but even with the description I gave, it seemed that Very difficult thing. It takes a lot of money to hire people. Although Dr. Ruan Li is a psychologist and has a wealth of net worth, I cannot let her invest a lot of money in tracing notices. Soon, I won't mention anything about Zhen Jiang and them.

Then, during school on this day, I met someone who hadn't thought of seeing him again before, but when I saw him here, he took it for granted. Of course, of course does not mean that I want him to appear, or that I hope he will not appear in front of me forever. His appearance means that the situation has become more complicated, and my life, this ordinary world, must be set off. Some waves have even turned into stormy waves. From a certain perspective, his role in my cognition. Almost the beginning of all changes.

"Apocalypse agent, Carmen ..." I looked at the man with a complex eye. He was still the same deep red trench coat, wrapped in a thin body up to two meters in length, and a red wide-brimmed hat, which put The face is hidden in the shadow. Evil and elegance blended perfectly into his image, and he stood straight in front of my house. Pressing the hat with one hand, it seems to have been standing there a long time ago, surrounded by loneliness and shame. He is very abnormal. Anyone who sees him, the first pronoun remembered should probably not be "him" but "it". Color, gesture and shape. All filled with an amazing pressure, as if soaked in the blood sea of ​​the corpse mountain, even the air became thick and blood red.

Just like what I saw in the toilet talk, he still held an hourglass in his hand. Hearing my greeting, he seemed to wake up from long thinking. An arc split in the shadow under the brim. He was laughing, with a feeling of horror. The two eyes light up from the shadows, and the outline of the face is less like a person, more like a thick fog melting in the darkness.

Some things are beginning to come to mind, to be precise, I think it is not a memory of my personality, but from other Gaochuan, for example. At this time in the end of the illusion of another Takakawa in London. Because it is too deep, under the impact of the weirdo in front of you, she floats from a deep place. These memories, impressions and concepts made me a little trance, and met this agent of doomsday. How many times? I seem to understand more about him.

"Long time no see, Gao Chuan." His voice came, but he did not have his image and temperament. The impression is so crazy.

"I haven't seen you for a long time, and I don't know why I should call you?" I set aside the noise in my mind and faced the doomsday agent only as a long-lost one. Now, I have understood very deeply that his self-proclaimed doomsday agent is not just a cool title, but his own actions are indeed a sign of the end. He is not on the side of any forces in the illusion of doomsday, because his position has been doomed from the beginning.

An existence with "Jiang" as the cause and "Jiang" as the result. What he represents is a huge and complex will. Whether this will is "viral" or "jiang", in fact, it does not need to be studied in depth, because, in my interpretation today, "virus" and "jiang" are actually One side and one side, because of the different observation angles, only one-sided image presented. In this sense, I dislike "virus" and like "Jiang". In fact, it is the most ridiculous and illogical. However, due to the sensibility, I do not intend to change it.

Therefore, to look at this doomsday agent from another angle, he and I can roughly be regarded as the same party. However, to say that my appearance is, in a sense, the appearance of "Jiang", then the appearance of an agent at the end will naturally not bring any good news.

"Apocalyptic agent, Carmen, or Eluka ... I prefer you to call me Carmen." Doom agent Carmen said so.

"So, Carmen, why are you here?" I asked what I thought was the most important question.

"Because you are here." Carmen replied profoundly. He looked at my eyes, but I felt that he was looking through the window of my soul and the "Jiang" under the abyss. Opening the window of the soul and entering the depth of consciousness has no effect in this ordinary world. However, perhaps psychology hints and hypnosis can have stronger effects. I have not tried it because before this, there was no This is necessary. I don't like peeping into other people's hearts, nor do I like to manipulate others' consciousness. Fighting can do everything, but a normal and ordinary life does not require such extreme means of struggle. I armed myself just to keep the will to fight.

"So, in other words, what are you asking for?" I asked directly.

"Freedom in my heart." Carmen's voice also became solemn, and his answer was serious.

"Where to seek?" I continued to ask.

"Deep in consciousness." He answered.

"Where is your destination?" I asked again.

"Where Jiang is," he said so.

"... Jiang does not reflect here." I was silent for a while and told him.

"That's because the time hasn't arrived." Carmen's voice was very careful.

"What time is it?" I couldn't help asking.

"Spiritual integration device." Carmen's face hidden in the shadows evoked a deep arc, obviously he was already confident.

"Mental integration device ... here?" I was a little surprised.

"Don't you know?" Carmen's tone seemed a little surprised, but soon fell silent. "You just don't want to think about it. The spiritual integration device is not here, but this world is where the spiritual integration device is. It is both a trap and a pathway. "

"So, the truth of this world is the trap of the repeater?" I couldn't help but smile bitterly, "Isn't it real here? I've never felt such a real world."

"I never said that this is not a real world." Carmen's voice sounded, "It is not false, nor true, both false and true. It is deep in everyone's heart and is extremely dangerous. , The embodiment of normal peace, if you have to make a definition, it is probably the most realistic ideal town. Is it difficult to imagine? The strongest defense of the Nazi repeater turned out to be such a world, but, precisely because of all Anomalies do not exist, so, in a sense, it is indeed the strongest defense against any intruder with anomalies and mysteries. I like to call this the absolute domain. "

"This is what I want, and the world others want?" I turned around and looked at the urban landscape outside the corridor window. The glare of the sunset softened the outline of the concrete reinforced building complex, just like, bathing in In the warmth favored by God, "I like this world, but this world does not welcome our existence."

"Yes, so, we have only one choice." Carmen said, my instinct began to show a strange reaction, that was the intuition when the anomaly appeared, I suddenly turned my head, only to see the hourglass in Carmen's hand, has begun to fall. It's like a signal, and it's a signal that's already ringing, full of unknowns, that doesn't need to be explained, and can make the gaze subconsciously aware of what changes have already begun.

Without saying anything, I took out the dagger hidden in the bag and stabbed it. I want to prevent this world from changing. This is an already firm idea. It should not go to the end because its existence is like the last harbor in the soul. Carmen also said before that this world is a manifestation of the people's vision of the entire doomsday illusion and a realistic ideal town. I love this world, even if I have never been able to integrate into it.

Even if this is not true, but just a dream ~ www.readwn.com ~ it doesn't matter, I don't want it to become a nightmare mood, it is very real.

Therefore, it must be prevented, even if the change is caused by action, the existence of the same path with me is terrible and powerful, and it should not be the existence of the enemy. I have no extraordinary powers, just an ordinary person. In theory, the same is true of Carmen, but the hourglass in his hand is likely to break this conclusion.

My actions are full of danger, I understand, but, what I should do, I will never give up!

I waved my dagger. Although there was no Mageweave superpower, and my physical fitness had dropped significantly, the fighting factor had already recovered from the exercise these days. My footsteps are light, and my balance is at its best. It's like a sharp blade crossed by an arc, close to Carmen's neck, and while he leans back, he turns to his hand holding the hourglass halfway. .

When he was about to hit Carmen's wrist, his body suddenly rushed into my inner arms, staggered the blade of the dagger, and the free palm pressed against my jaw. A huge force hit my teeth directly. I only felt that my brain was stunned, and the whole person vacated, hitting hard against the hard wall, and only felt the spine began to numb. (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote for recommendation and monthly tickets. Your support is my biggest motivation. Please read it for mobile users.)