In your 20s, you must understand the wisdom of success

Chapter 25
A person cannot have no goals, otherwise he can only wander on the road of life, unable to tell whether he is making progress or retreating, and it is impossible to talk about whether he can succeed.Goals are the basis for your efforts and your spurs. Only with goals can you have a target that you can see clearly and aim at.Therefore, your goals must be clear, specific, realistic, and achievable.Of course, this refers to short-term goals.An outstanding person builds his successful edifice by achieving one short-term goal after another.

2. Give yourself another chance to try again
One-time success is certainly the most ideal state, because life is too short, and no one wants to spend too much energy on detours and bumping into walls.However, we are mortals after all, not all-rounders who can learn without a teacher and do not try, and it is impossible to be so experienced in any situation like "one-size-fits-all".

Especially when we first entered the society, we need to try again and try again.

3. Encourage yourself: you will succeed
There are many ups and downs in life, not necessarily every time you feel down, there will be someone to encourage you!
Never beg or expect encouragement from others, because that will only make you look like a poor wretch!And that encouragement also tinged with compassion.

Therefore, encourage yourself, let courage and strength arise in your heart, just like opening the eye of a spring, and the spring water gushes out by itself, at any time and in any situation, you can "take it by yourself"!
4. Leverage the power of example

Find your role model or idol. Maybe their dreams are very similar to your own. Maybe the obstacles they encounter are also the ones you fear and worry about most.Learn as much as you can about how they kept going in tough situations and how they overcame the odds to achieve their dreams.Find pictures of people like this and hang them up where you often go for quiet self-reflection.If you don't have such a place, hang the photos in your office or somewhere else where you can see them often.

Keyword perception: confusion
When you are in a state of confusion, you might as well calm down and let yourself take a short break.Sort out your thoughts, reduce the things in your hands, and don't let complicated things bind you; simplify your thinking, distinguish your goals, and then firmly follow your direction, you will definitely get out of confusion.You will find that you are the most attractive when you walk out of the thick fog!

(Chapter 3 Temptation - Resist unnecessary desires

Desire is not only the driving force of a person's belief, but also the "fuel" for a society to move forward.Therefore, as a self-motivated person, one cannot live without desires. However, if the desires are too complex, it is no longer a good thing.

Don't let desire become a quagmire on the road

Unnecessary desires can often destroy everything about us.

The Indian chief said to the young people in his tribe: "God gave everyone a glass of water, so you drink life from it."

Life is indeed a glass of water. Whether the glass is gorgeous or not shows a person's poverty or wealth.But the water in the glass is clear and transparent, colorless and tasteless, and it is the same for everyone. Next, you have the right to add salt and sugar, as you like.This is your right to life and no one can take it away.You have the desire to keep adding water to the cup, or adding sugar, but it must be done in moderation, because the capacity of the cup is limited.When you sip, you have to savor slowly, because you only have a glass of water, and when you run out of water, the glass is empty.

In life, people add all kinds of seasonings to their glass of water, such as love, friendship, money, joy, anger, sorrow, joy, etc., in order to make their glass of water beautiful and fragrant, so we all feel very alive. "tired".

All desires in life can actually be boiled down to two types: the first is the pursuit of continuously increasing one’s talents and improving one’s character; the other is the need for pure enjoyment, to anesthetize the body or mind.The second type is meaningless desire, but its temptation is far greater than the first type, and it is ubiquitous, forming a trap everywhere in life.The abyss of the trap is mediocrity.The pursuit of the first desire should be advocated, just as it is the driving force of a person's belief, and it is also the fuel for a society to move forward, but it requires people to set goals, add strong perseverance, and pay a lot to achieve it.The second kind of desire is useless to achieve success and nobleness. If you get involved in them, you will not be able to move forward on the road, and you will fall into mediocrity and vulgarity.It is like a shining melon and fruit on the road, full of temptation.

A poet said: "We know how short the life of lavender is, and it is fleeting. The fragrance that has been infiltrated into the clothes produced by people after it is burned is also very short, but when we smell a lavender Our hearts always jump with joy when we are greeted by the powerful smell of a fine perfume.”

Desire is like the fragrance of lavender, which seduces people and makes them "jump up with joy".

There is a very interesting way of catching monkeys in Southeast Asia.The locals put some delicious fruit in the box, and then cut a small hole in the box, just big enough for the monkey's hand to stick in.The monkey can't resist the temptation of the fruit in the box. If it grabs the fruit, it will not be able to withdraw its hand unless it drops the fruit in its hand.But most monkeys just don't want to throw away what they got, so that when hunters come, they can easily catch them without any effort.

Temptation is a beautiful trap, and those who fall into it will harm others and themselves; temptation is a sugar-coated cannonball, and those who have no ability to distinguish will definitely be hit; temptation is also a deadly virus, which will erode every brain that lacks immunity .

There was an ascetic ascetic who was going to leave his village and live in seclusion in the uninhabited mountains. He only took a piece of cloth as his clothes and went to live in the mountains alone.

Later, he thought that when he was going to wash his clothes, he needed another piece of cloth to replace, so he went down to the village and begged for a piece of cloth from the villagers for clothes. Without hesitation, he gave him a piece of cloth.

When the ascetic returned to the mountains, he found that there was a mouse in the hut where he lived, and it would often come and bite his change of clothes when he was concentrating on meditation.He had long vowed to abide by the precept of not killing animals all his life, so he was unwilling to harm the mouse, but he couldn't drive the mouse away, so he went back to the village and asked the villagers for a cat to raise.

After getting a cat, he thought again: "What does the cat want to eat? I don't want the cat to eat mice, but I can't just eat some fruits and wild vegetables like me!" So he asked the villagers again A cow so that the cat can live on milk.

However, after living in the mountains for a while, he found that he had to spend a lot of time every day looking after the cow, so he returned to the village.He found a bachelor, so he took the homeless bachelor to live in the mountains and help him take care of the cows.

After the bachelor lived in the mountains for a while, he complained to the ascetics: "I am different from you. I need a wife. I want to live a normal family life."

It makes sense for a cultivator to think about it. He cannot force others to live a life of asceticism and asceticism like him...

Later, the whole village moved to the mountains.

If a person desires too much, then his heart will never be peaceful, and it is impossible to talk about self-cultivation.This ascetic is constantly tempted and aroused by constant desires, but forgets his future goals and loses his way forward.Too much desire will become a quagmire on the road, dragging you down and eventually drowning you.

The ancient Greek philosopher Epicottita said that the essence of the philosophy of happiness is: the happiness in a person's life should come from reducing his dependence on external things as much as possible.The Roman political scientist and philosopher Seneca also said: "If you feel dissatisfied all the time, you will feel sad even if you have the whole world." They can only eat three meals and sleep in one bed at a time, even a ditch digger can enjoy it, and they may eat more relish and sleep more peacefully than Rockefeller.

control yourself, resist temptation

Once upon a time, there was a farmer who worked tirelessly every day, but he was very poor.

One day he came to a forest far away from his home and met an old woman. The old woman said to him: "I know you work hard every day, but what you get is insignificant. I will give you a magic coin Diamond ring, it can make you rich. When you say what you want and turn the ring on your finger, you will get what you want immediately. But this ring can only achieve one of your wishes. wish, so you should think carefully before making your wish."

The stunned farmer took the ring and excitedly set off on his way home.

At night, when the farmer was passing through a big city, he met a businessman. He took out the magic diamond ring and told the businessman about this strange experience.The merchant invited the farmer to stay at his house at night.

In the middle of the night, the businessman came to the sleeping farmer. He carefully replaced the magic diamond ring on the farmer's finger with an identical ring.

The farmer wakes up in the morning and thanks the merchant, only to find the merchant crushed to death by a pile of gold.The farmer found the ring among the gold piles.

The farmer went home and told his wife the story of the magic diamond ring.The wife couldn't hold back her excitement, and said to her husband: "Try it, let it bring us a large piece of land."

"We must take our wishes seriously, and don't forget that this ring can only help us realize one wish." The farmer explained, "It's best if we work hard for another year, and we will have many hectares of good land." Since then, they have tried their best Worked hard and got enough money to buy the land they wanted.

The farmer's wife wanted a cow and a horse.The farmer said, "Honey, why don't we keep working hard for another year?" So a year later, they bought back the cows and horses.

"We are the happiest people," said the farmer. "Don't talk about magic diamond rings anymore. We are young and have strong hands. Let us think about the ring when we are old."

After 40 years, the farmer and his wife have grown old, their hair has become as white as snow, they have everything they want, and the "magic diamond ring" is still intact.

We should learn from the calm attitude of farmers when they face the pressure of reality and the temptation of desire.

Choices in the face of temptation determine fate, modern people who do not face the test of temptation, take a step back, enough is enough, the sea and the sky will be brighter; step further, the sea of ​​desire will be in the abyss, and there will be no redemption.

Life is full of temptations, drinking, smoking, fame, power, wealth, etc., the result of accepting these temptations and invitations according to the "heart" will definitely be scarred.It's really not worthwhile to get yourself intoxicated for a while at the expense of pain afterwards.

Self-control is a virtue, restraining desires and resisting vulgar temptations is a strategy and a prerequisite for physical and mental health, happiness, and success.

Be rational in the face of temptation, distinguish whether it is conducive to growth and achieve lofty goals, or purely interferes with the body and mind, make a good choice, and don't get too addicted, otherwise the consequences will be unimaginable.

Rationally speaking, people will never pursue short-term personal and physical satisfaction at the cost of life or achievements, but people will still be swayed by too many factors that cannot be controlled rationally.Faced with the temptation of unnecessary desires on the road of life, you must learn to control yourself and never indulge yourself.

Keyword insight: temptation
This world is too impetuous, with too many temptations, people will fall into the trap of beauty if they are not careful.Therefore, for the pursuit and dream in your mind, you need to restrain yourself, resist temptation outside the door, and not be fettered by unnecessary temptation to move forward.

(Chapter 4 Frustration - Burning Frustration, Fueling Success

Frustration is a great wealth in life. It may make people sink, and it may also forge a strong will quality and achieve a fulfilling life.Frustration is a good teacher in life. It can teach us how to deal with all problems with gratitude and positive attitude, develop a strong will, and bravely participate in social competition.

Courage to face setbacks

Do you remember the first time you learned to ride a bicycle and learn to skate?Can you fly fast as soon as you step on it?Did he fall on all fours at every turn, and his legs and arms were always bruised and purple.But in the end you can ride a bike, and you can fly with style and ease on the skating rink.

Therefore, success is the accumulation of countless setbacks.How can you taste the sweetness of achievement without experiencing countless setbacks?
We all hope to have more happiness, less pain, more success and less setbacks in our lives, but fate seems to always play tricks and torture people, always giving people more loss, pain and setbacks.Some people are afraid and discouraged when they encounter setbacks, and they are frightened away; some people are not afraid of failure, advance despite difficulties, and stand on the finish line of success through hard work.Therefore, one kind of people degenerates in negativity and is too fragile to stand the test; the other kind of people forges ahead in positivity, faces all setbacks firmly, and finally overcomes setbacks.

There is such a story: There was a chrysalis on the grass, which was found by a child and brought home.After a few days, a small crack appeared on the chrysalis, and the butterfly inside struggled for a long time, as if its body was stuck and could not get out.The innocent child couldn't bear to see the butterfly struggling in the chrysalis.So, he picked up the scissors and cut open the pupa shell to help the butterfly get out of the pupa.However, because the butterfly did not go through the painful struggle it had to go through before breaking out of the chrysalis, its body was bloated and its wings were shriveled after it came out of the shell. It could not fly at all, and soon died.

This little story illustrates a truth in life, that to obtain joy, one must go through pain and setbacks.This is a test for people, and it is also a necessary process for a person to grow up. As the saying goes, "If you don't go through a bit of cold, how can you get the fragrance of plum blossoms"?
In fact, moderate setbacks have certain positive significance for the growth of life. It can help people get rid of inertia and encourage people to forge ahead.Frustration is also a kind of challenge and test. Many mild setbacks in life are the "playground" of willpower. When you run the whole course sweating profusely and overcome the setbacks in life, you will get a pleasant experience.

The British philosopher Bacon said: "The miracles beyond nature mostly appear in the conquest of adversity." Psychologists compare mild setbacks to "spiritual tonics", because every setback overcomes strengthens oneself. Provides mental strength for the next setback.The key issue is how to face setbacks and effectively adjust yourself, so as to improve your ability to withstand setbacks and turn resistance into motivation.

When you encounter setbacks, you should conduct a calm analysis, find out the reasons for the setbacks from the aspects of objective, subjective, goals, environment, conditions, etc., and take effective remedial measures.

There must be a dialectical view of frustration.A confident and optimistic person who is not afraid of setbacks is often a person who can tolerate failure and is good at self-comfort. He can realize that it is setbacks and lessons that make him smart and mature, and it is failure itself that ultimately creates success .

Learn to resolve and transfer the depression caused by setbacks.You can tell your relatives and friends about your unhappiness when you suffer setbacks and your future plans; you can also engage in interesting group activities to transfer your emotions and energy to useful activities, thereby changing your inner depression and seeking Get relaxed physically and mentally, so that you can look to the future.

As the saying goes: "If you lose the east corner, you can reap the mulberry elm." When the original expected goal is frustrated, you can change to another way to achieve the goal, or change to a new goal to achieve new victories.

Konosuke Matsushita, a big Japanese entrepreneur, explained the concept of setbacks most thoroughly. He said: "If you fall down, you must stand up, and you must go forward. If you fall down, you are only half a person standing up. Stand up and then move forward. Whole person."

If life is compared to a "knife" that cuts through thorns and thorns, then setbacks are an indispensable "stubborn stone".In order to make the "knife" sharper, we should bravely face the sharpening of setbacks.

Turn setbacks into motivation
There is a very interesting TV commercial in the NBA finals in the United States.In the ad, Michael Jordan walks into a stadium to greet enthusiastic fans.You can hear his voice talking to himself.In this glorious moment, he was recalling the setbacks in his life.He thought about getting kicked out of the basketball team in middle school, about losing in professional baseball, about not scoring a game-winning run 38 times in his NBA career.At the end of the advertisement, Jordan said to the camera: "This is the reason for my success." What a shocking philosophy!

If you haven't encountered setbacks, you may be used to a state of laziness, drifting with the flow, with little or no desire or reluctance to take risks and challenges, lest you taste the frustration.This will cost you valuable aggressiveness.You may have had minor setbacks academically and in love, but it wasn't such a stark failure that you probably weren't impressed.It can be said that: almost everyone has an equal opportunity.No one is destined to lead a life of failure, and no one is destined to always have smooth sailing.Opportunities must be explored, grasped, and firmly grasped by oneself.If you want to succeed, you must dare to take risks, dare to face setbacks, and have the courage to overcome setbacks.

Soran of the United Kingdom pointed out: "Frustration should not be the cause of depression and loss of ambition, but should be a fresh stimulus." The only way to avoid setbacks is to do nothing, no failure, no setbacks, but greatness cannot be achieved thing.

One oyster said to another oyster nearby: "I have a great pain in my body. It's heavy, round, and I'm in trouble."

(End of this chapter)