Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 33 I Was Speechless At That Time

1
The weather is hot and writing is very unproductive.At this time, you should pick up your notebook and go to the library, find a place to sit and type.There is air-conditioning there, very cool, and the environment is relatively quiet, which is really pleasant.In addition, sometimes you can see some interesting things.For example, once I saw two loli, probably in the second grade, one was fatter and the other was thinner.The fatter one bought a serving of instant noodles, and the thinner one’s eyes lit up when she saw the situation, and then she helped her get the hot water and calculated when she could eat it, and then waited for the fatter one to start enjoying the delicious food. When I heard the words, I coyly said my intention: "It smells so good, can you share some with me?" Unexpectedly, the fatter man showed a very embarrassed expression when he heard the words, and hesitated: "But my mother said that I can only eat it by myself. People eat." The thinner one was very disappointed.Then the fatter one took a break there after a round of eating, and there was still a lot of soup and a small amount of noodles left in the noodle bowl, which made the thinner one feel that she could still fight for it, so she asked again: "Let me Would you like to eat a little?" The fatter one seemed to be facing a big enemy, and he ate it up, and left a ruthless sentence: "Do you think it is possible?!"

Another version is much warmer.Two girls wearing glasses, about the third grade, one taller and one shorter, the taller went to buy a sausage, and came back and said to the shorter one: "Let's eat half of it each." The shorter one swallowed, shook his head and said, "That's so embarrassing, I don't want it."

"It's okay, let's eat." The taller one held the smoking sausage, but refused to take a bite.

"You eat it, this one is not much." The shorter one continued to be polite.

"No, it's still quite long. How about this, I will eat the first half, and you will eat the second half."

"It's so dirty if two people eat one together, don't want it."

"Then, be careful when I eat, don't get my saliva on it, how about half of it for one person?"

……

Compared with the loli who refuses to share in the face of such naked hints or even shameless hints, the friendship shown by this lady who must share blessings no matter what and even persists to an unreasonable point is How touching!I told Xiaolu about this, and Xiaolu said happily: "It can only be said that the age group of homosexuals in our country is constantly decreasing. Whatever you say, you should have a sausage with each other. What a brotherly love worth advocating. "

...is this the truth? !

2
It is said that artists have a pair of eyes to discover beauty, so what rotten girls have is undoubtedly a pair of eyes that discover base.When I go shopping with Xiaolu, she will always point out many hidden homosexuals that I can't see even if I am killed.For example, when crossing the road that day, Xiao Lu said that the two men in front were gay.

"how do you know?"

"Didn't you notice that they are wearing exactly the same clothes? It's obviously a couple's outfit."

"That's not a couple's outfit, but a work uniform! They are colleagues, how can they wear it otherwise!"

"Pfft, you're so boring."

"...Apologize to them and me!"

Another time, Xiao Lu and Xiao Lu passed by a clothing store and saw several male models in the window. Xiao Lu suddenly realized: "Ah! Why are these models not wearing pants?"

I took a look: "Really! And there is nothing on their lower body!"

"I didn't even notice. As expected of a gay guy, he has a different perspective." Xiaolu patted me on the shoulder admiringly.

Wouldn't be happy to be praised like that!
3
Xiaobei still insists on bringing us basic love stories on the elementary school campus.What she was talking about today was that a certain lady named A and a lady named B have always been best friends, but recently A and B have had an awkward relationship, and no matter how B asks him to play and talk to him, A ignores him.As a teacher, Xiaobei intervened, asked carefully, and mediated this friendship incident.When she asked A: "Why don't you get along with B?" B replied depressedly: "Because I regard him as my best friend, but he doesn't see me that way." Xiaobei asked: "How do you know?" ?” A said: “I was walking with C that day, A saw it and said hello to C first, and then it was my turn, he is obviously better with C.”

Xiaobei said that whenever this happened, she was always so high that she wished she could write their fandom in the parents' address book.

...Is elementary school this scary anymore?
4
Sometimes I will discuss the future with Xiaolu affectionately.I said affectionately: "I hope we can have a daughter in the future."

"Why a daughter?" Xiao Lu asked.

"I like daughters."

"Well, wondering what our daughter will look like?"

"I hope she looks more beautiful!" I said, "In this way, there will be many men vying to pursue her in the future, and then we will choose a rich one to marry her. It is best that the person is a terminally ill man who is about to die Hey old man, and our daughter will become a widow shortly after marrying her and inherit all his estate! Hey, it doesn’t matter if the old man’s wife is still alive, our daughter can be his mistress, anyway Just get all his property. Then we, as her parents, can enjoy the benefits brought by our daughter to the fullest..."

"But that old man's terminal illness may be AIDS, and then he infected our daughter. Or our daughter was discovered when she was a junior, and she was disfigured by acid." Xiaolu said.

"Hey, why do you talk like this, can't you hope that our daughter will be better?!"

"So you were hoping for her well just now."

……

After a while, Xiaolu said again: "Actually, I hope it's a boy. It's best if he can be like you."

When I heard the words, I couldn't help feeling elated, and asked, "Why do you want to be like me?"

"Because you are a gay, and if your child is like you, he will be a little gay in the future. I have long wanted to raise a little gay." Xiaolu said.

I covered my face in pain and said: "Please hope that our child will be better?"

Xiaolu said: "Oh, then I hope he is a good attacker."

... Is this your "good" standard!Is it really okay to have a child with such a person someday!

5
Go to the toilet at KFC.Basically, KFC, McDonald's and Dexter are all part-time toilets selling foreign fast food.By the way, I was shocked when I walked into the toilet that day, because there was a tall man with no shirt on inside!No shirt!He was not surprised when he saw me, but continued to take off his outer pants calmly. I was so panicked that I didn't know what to do, and my mind was full of "A certain writer was raped by a homosexual when he went to the toilet. When he was found, his head was on the ground." Stunned in a urinal" headlines.At this time, the man who had already taken off only his underpants opened the schoolbag he was carrying, took out a basketball uniform from it, put it on, and walked out.

...It turned out that I was going to play basketball, so I changed my clothes here!Fortunately fortunately.I came out with a sigh of relief, and when I saw Xiao Lu, I told her what happened just now, expressing that I almost thought the other party was gay.

"What does that guy look like?"

"Not bad, Chinese character face, quite heroic, and tall enough."

"Strong?"

"It's pretty muscular."

"What other characteristics?"

"I think... furry, with a lot of hair on the chest and feet."

"Remember you said you just took a look, right?"

"Yes."

"I can remember so much just by looking at it, and dare to say that others are gay!"

"..." I was speechless at that time!

6
I was writing something, the uncle was surfing the Internet, and the painter knocked on the door and came in.We asked, "What is it?"

"You're both going home this weekend, aren't you?"

"Yes." I said to my uncle.We all have things at home.

"So it's just me and the glasses left here?"

"Yeah, what's the matter?" My uncle and I smiled ambiguously.

"He's gay, I'll be alone with him...is it okay?" the painter asked nervously and seriously.

The uncle and I looked at each other, and the uncle shook his head and said, "It's hard to say, maybe we wanted to find you when we came back, but we knocked on the door and found that you were not there."

I said: "Then there was a strange sound from the glasses room, so we opened the door to have a look..."

"I saw the two of you huddled under the same quilt with your clothes disheveled!" said the uncle.

"No! I won't do that!" the painter vetoed in horror.

"It's hard to say, maybe you will play some heavy flavors. Remember that there is a mop in the room of the glasses. Maybe the glasses will suddenly take the mop on a whim and stuff it into your ass..."

"No—" the painter screamed.

"And he still stuffed the mop head in." The uncle said.

Frightened by this heavy-tasting imagination, the painter ran away from the door.So this weekend, all three of us went home, leaving only glasses and a mop.

7
I'm not trim and I don't have taste in clothes. My uncle once gave me some good advice on this aspect, so sometimes I would drag him to buy clothes and ask him to be a clothing consultant for me.However, the aesthetics of my uncle and I are really different. I think many clothes and pants are good, and they look good when worn, but the uncle insists that they are ugly.Once, in a jeans specialty store, I tried on more than a dozen pairs of jeans all afternoon, but my uncle gave me such a blow that I lost the idea of ​​buying them.

When chatting with Xiaolu at night, Xiaolu asked: "Did you spend this afternoon alone?"

I said, "No, I lived with my uncle."

"Then what are you all doing?"

"Forget it, I took off my pants a dozen times in one afternoon."

...Through the receiver, I can feel Xiaolu's face flushing with excitement.

8
Chatting with a few friends from middle school, I mentioned many people I haven't seen for a long time.For example, X is said to be a policeman now. A friend said excitedly and thoughtlessly: "Then he has to wear a green military uniform all day long?" Another person immediately retorted: "Is that the People's Liberation Army? Police uniform." Another friend said, "What you said is wrong, A is a plainclothes policeman, and he usually wears nothing at work."

...a policeman in nothing!What a blast!

9
My uncle and I have regular quarrels, just like my aunt.There are a lot of situations where boys can't fight, and we both seem to be a good fit for the Cold War approach.Every time I feel upset with the other party, I don’t bother to say a word, and I usually turn a blind eye to each other, just treat each other as air, and in this way, we can live in the same room peacefully.But at times like this, when I want to talk to Xiaolu about uncle-related topics, I can't speak well.For example, when I saw a restaurant, I said, "Ah, we used to eat here together when we were on good terms with Uncle." Talking about a cartoon, I said, "Ah, when we were on good terms with Uncle, he used to borrow Show me." After too many times, Xiaolu stared and said: "Enough, why do I hear you as if you miss your ex-boyfriend who broke up!"

Later, I reconciled with my uncle like this.One day, because I went to the library, I came back late. When I came back, I saw the door of our room was closed.I thought the uncle hadn't come back yet, otherwise the door should be open.I opened the door with the key, and it turned out that in this room with the windows and doors closed, the uncle was panting excitedly while watching an H animation... There was a dead silence at the time.The high temperature in midsummer made us sweat all over, and then I spoke first, and I said: "Don't mind! I completely understand! Sometimes I do this too!" The uncle angrily turned off the film and opened the window , and asked me: "Why did you come back so late?" I said: "Oh, I went to the library..."

And just like that, we resumed our conversation after not having had a word of conversation in a long time!Rely on this opportunity!

...Afterwards, I thought about it, in fact, I should have kept silent and pretended not to see it at the time, saying something that I thought I understood must have made the uncle die of embarrassment!
(End of this chapter)