Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 16 The Damn Blind Date

1
My uncle and I decided to watch "Confucius". Of course I wanted to call Xiaolu, and the uncle asked Xiaolu to help call Xiaobei.Finally, the four of us entered the theater together.At that time, I paid for the movie tickets first.Coming out after watching the movie, the first thing we did was go to the bathroom.Men are always faster than women in this field.When Uncle Mingjin and I retreated, Xiaolu and Xiaobei hadn’t heard from each other yet.At this time, I said to the uncle: "You have to give me the money for the movie ticket just now." The uncle said yes, and then I started to take out my wallet and count the banknotes. I can give him my banknotes...

While we were doing these things, Xiaobei and Xiaolu came back after finishing their work.Looking at the money transaction between me and my uncle, Xiaobei suddenly smiled. Her smile was very cute. The uncle was elated and asked, "What are you laughing at?" Xiaobei said, "I remembered that in some American substrates, I often see two homosexuals making a fuss in the toilet, and then come out to count the money when it's over."

The uncle wants to cry but has no tears.

2
In order to chase Xiaobei, the uncle tried his best to get close to her interest, but he was led to a lot of spoils.For example, I usually write fairy tales in addition to animation gun drafts. Today I was negotiating a draft contract with a children's pictorial called "Little Sunflower". I said, "Well, it's for children under the third grade." The uncle laughed lewdly, and said, "The book for children under the third grade is called "Little Chrysanthemum". It's really uncivilized."

... You did it on purpose!At that moment, I really wanted to block the uncle's little chrysanthemum.

3
Tomorrow is the weekend, the uncle called Xiaobei and wanted to ask her out to play, but he put down the phone without saying a few words, and his face was ashen.Seeing this, I quickly comforted him: "Uncle, you don't have to be so depressed after being rejected once or twice." But the uncle looked at me with empty eyes, and murmured: "Xiaobei, Xiaobei said that she is going on a blind date tomorrow. !How to do how to do?"

I was also a little surprised, because Xiaobei really didn't seem like someone who would obediently accept arrangements.So I helped my uncle call Xiaolu to understand the case.As expected of Xiao Bei's close friend, Xiao Lu knew a lot of insider information. She told me that Xiao Bei's family forced her to go on a blind date, and Xiao Bei had no choice but to obey, saying that the other party was said to be a doctor.

The uncle was even more depressed after hearing this, doctor, doctor is synonymous with wealth in our hearts.The uncle grabbed me and asked, "What if Xiaobei falls in love with that doctor? What should I do?" I quickly said, "No, uncle, don't worry. The rotten girls like Xiaobei are not just you. Who wants it?"

Uncle knocked me down on the bed -_-
The uncle went out the next day, and he said he was going to investigate Xiaobei's blind date on the spot.As for the time and place, he asked Xiao Lu all the way.I have great admiration for the uncle's deep affection.

The uncle came back at noon, and his expression was really mournful.I hurriedly asked, "What's the matter?" The uncle said, "Xiaobei was very involved in talking with that doctor! I'm done!"

I also think the uncle is out of play.Because Xiaobei is a three-no girl, at least when facing me and the uncle, she is very three-no, she can only talk to Xiaolu, and now she is interested in a doctor? !
With the idea of ​​saving the uncle, I entrusted Xiaolu to help me set up Xiaobei's words, and then said to the uncle: "You don't have to worry about it."

The uncle asked: "Why? I even saw Xiaobei gesticulating with the doctor, as if they were discussing a wedding ring."

I said, "No. The truth is that the doctor is from the anorectal department. At Xiaobei's request, he was demonstrating the steps of using his finger to enter the patient's anus."

4
Sometimes when I was chatting with the editor, Xiaolu would lean his head to look at it. At that time, I would always minimize the window quickly, because I was not used to the chat history being read by others.

One day, an editor starting with K asked me to write a manuscript about magical girls, and I said I didn't like it, so I didn't accept it.Oh yeah!Looks like I can take it easy this weekend.

Editor K said dejectedly: "Think beautifully, I'll send you a specially planned manuscript later."

At this time, the deer came over again, and I hurriedly closed the window.

But Xiaolu refused to let her go, she insisted on seeing what I was talking to someone just now.I said, "It's nothing."

"You lied to me! I just saw that a man with a head like a man told you 'I'm going to lock you'..." Xiao Lu said excitedly.

5
When I took a bus with my uncle, I found that I forgot to bring the bus card. The uncle generously said, "I'll swipe it for you." Then he raised the card and swiped it twice.I said with admiration: "Oh, uncle, I can travel all over the world without you." The uncle said, "I am your leg, right?"

6
The so-called long-term separation must be reunited, and long-term separation must be divided... In short, my uncle and I have not been very happy recently, and there are constant frictions.As for where the problem lies, among the boys, each has some temper, which is normal.But it wasn't until we got into a fight that I realized that the uncle was not easy to mess with. He first accused me of a crime of staying up late every night to write manuscripts, which made it difficult for him to sleep, which made me speechless.The uncle said while pointing to the L-like black circle around his eyes, "Did you see it? Did you see it?" His voice was very loud and provocative.

I walked out of the room angrily and closed the door loudly.The artist who was painting in the living room cautiously came over to gossip and said, "What's the matter? Are you arguing? It's the first time I've seen you guys have such a fierce fight."

I said bitterly: "He blamed me for preventing him from sleeping at night."

The painter said: "But there should be many nights. You obviously want to sleep but you accommodate him because of his needs?"

In my mind, my uncle stayed up late watching the domestic drama "Cang Hai" for a while, and I hurriedly said: "That's right!"

The painter patted his shoulder and said: "So you are all in the same place in this kind of thing, you can't say who is right and who is wrong, just be more tolerant of each other. You young people...do you need me to be a peacemaker?"

I hurriedly said no, no need, and my favorability for the painter skyrocketed.

Soon the uncle's anger passed, and we went out to eat together that night.I was grateful to the painter, and praised him casually. The uncle ate and listened, and suddenly called me an idiot.

So we fought again -_-
7
Because we share the same room with the uncle, many of our things are shared.For example, toothpaste, shampoo, shower gel, electric kettle, clothes hanger... Counting carefully, there are quite a lot, which fully reflects our profound revolutionary friendship.One day when I was dating Xiaolu, Xiaolu said: "I just want to give you something today, and it is suitable for you to use together."

"What is it?" I asked.

"lip balm."

8
One night late at night, I was woken up by the slight sound of keyboard tapping. I opened my sleepy eyes and saw that my uncle was operating the computer.Because I didn't wear glasses, I couldn't see very clearly, but I saw a few color pictures with lingering white bodies, and I suddenly understood.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time falling asleep, and that was the case that night.I cursed uncle in my heart, and didn't fall asleep until dawn.

The next day I was yawning all over the place, the uncle looked at me and laughed at me and said, "Why are young people so weak in physical strength? I think I only need a little sleep every day to be full of energy..."

I said angrily: "It's not because you quarreled last night!"

The uncle was suddenly embarrassed, and he hesitated and said: "I, I suddenly discovered that there is a business that has not collected the data, so..."

I said, "Come on you! Do you think I don't know what you're doing?"

The uncle put his arm on my shoulder suddenly and said: "Since you have seen it, I will not hide it from you, but you must believe me, it's really not what I want to watch, I just watched it for Xiaobei's sake, I’m going to ask her out for dinner tonight, I don’t want to have a topic, otherwise I won’t do such things as stay up late at night and go to gay websites to see gay H pictures! You don’t know how explicit those pictures are, Those chrysanthemums are in full bloom..."

...It turns out that the truth is more flavorful than I imagined!
9
I'm going to publish a book, it's a book of fairy tales.This is my first book, and I take it very seriously.After Xiaolu heard about it, she was even happier than me. She spread the word on her blog, QQ, and in real life. Please support my work a lot.I was very moved and felt that it was nice to have a girlfriend.

Xiaolu's hard-working publicity was very effective, and soon I received many congratulations and encouragements from friends one after another.

One of my friends added another sentence after saying his blessings to me: "However, I really didn't expect China to be so open now."

"What?"

"Oh, I just didn't think it was possible to publish a book that explicitly described gay cohabitation," he said.

"...Who told you what kind of book I published?!" I growled.

"Isn't it... We all thought that the books Xiaolu would like must be gay books..." he said.

"..."

This shouldn't be... Xiaolu's fault.

10
My college friend Boiler is going on a blind date. His blind date said he would bring his best female companion. Boiler, who has little experience with the opposite sex, asked me for help and asked me to accompany him to strengthen his momentum. I am obliged He agreed, and because of this, he even turned down Xiao Lu's invitation to watch a movie.

We had dinner at a restaurant famous for its grilled fish. In order to create an opportunity for Boiler, I suggested that men and women should sit staggered, so Boiler sat on the side with his blind date, and I sat on the side with the female partner.Boiler was very nervous, I tried my best to talk to liven up the atmosphere, and I had a good meal.Soon the two girls said they were going to the toilet and left first.

Only me and the boiler were left on the scene.We chat casually.I said to Boiler: "This girl is pretty good, come on and get her done." Boiler said: "I will work hard, and you can bring your girlfriend to me sometime."

At this time, I suddenly found the figure of a deer walking outside the restaurant, and I realized that this place happened to be near the cinema.The deer apparently spotted me too, and she walked in.

"What are you doing here? Didn't you say you don't have time today?" Xiaolu asked.

"I'm not free. Isn't this a blind date?" I said.

Xiao Lu looked at the boiler, then at me, and suddenly turned around and burst into tears, shouting: "I know! I'll just go! I wish you happiness!"

Looking at the departing deer, I said to the boiler: "She is...my lovely girlfriend..."

11
It's been really cold recently.When I go to bed at night, it doesn't matter if I cover my coat and sweater on the quilt.After the lights were turned off, my uncle and I huddled on our respective beds, trying to keep warm while lamenting what the hell weather it was.

At this time, I suddenly remembered an incident in college, so I said to the uncle: "I remember when I was in college, it was so cold one night, and the brother who slept in the bed next to me, called the boiler, couldn't stand it." So I suggested to me that we should sleep together. Combining the quilts of two people will definitely be warmer than covering only one bed. Since I and the boiler both sleep on the upper bunk, a fat man who slept on our lower bunk was very panicked. Afraid that our weight would cause the bed to collapse and he would be finished. Because we didn't like the fat guy, so when he finished protesting, we said, 'It would be quick if it crushed you.'"

After I finished speaking, I laughed for a long time, but the uncle didn't respond.

I said, "Uncle, why don't you smile?"

"What do you mean by telling me about this now?" The uncle wrapped the quilt tightly and said in a terrified voice, "I won't sleep with you!"

...Ah shit!
(End of this chapter)