Modern social etiquette and eloquence

Chapter 13 Workplace etiquette and eloquence (1)
Whether your work is satisfactory, whether your promotion is smooth or not, and whether your career is successful or not, all have a lot to do with whether you follow workplace etiquette.How to deal with your boss easily and freely; how to be successful among colleagues; how to make workplace language an "elevator" that takes you up; how to let a smile in the workplace push away the "stumbling blocks" on your way forward. Workplace etiquette and eloquence are what you must master .

[-]. Leaders must grasp the tone of their speech
We have to talk every day. Due to the nature of work, speaking is an indispensable work requirement for professionals every day.Speaking is an important means for people to exchange information and express their feelings.If the tone of voice can be used properly, it can not only fully express the intention and emotion of the speech, but also make the speech full of vitality and artistic appeal.

After subdivision, we classify tone and tone into the following 10 types.

1. Harmonious voice
This kind of tone and tone is relaxed and natural, kind and friendly, unhurried, and can give the listener a feeling of comfort, comfort, delicateness, intimacy, friendliness and warmth.Managers often use this kind of voice and harmony when requesting, inquiring, comforting, and stating opinions to their subordinates. If used properly, it will have a special management charm.

2. Soft-spoken
This tone and tone can show the speaker's respect, humility, caution and elegance.When leaders talk to employees, using it can shorten the emotional distance with subordinates, close the relationship between the two parties, and avoid unnecessary troubles.Of course, it doesn't work to publicly assert one's opinion, contradict subordinates, assert dignity, or convey emphasis.

3. Roar loudly
Roaring loudly can show the heroic spirit, strong will and determination of the manager.In addition, it can also express the meanings of threats, accusations, anger, and catharsis by managers, and can play a role in strengthening awareness, exaggerating the atmosphere, and deepening the intensity of expression.Of course, this also depends on the occasion, not all the time.

4. Loud and atmospheric
This is a speaking method that leaders use to summon, encourage, reason, emphasize and express their excitement.It can show the passion of the leader and the rough and unrestrained temperament.Although it belongs to high frequency and high-pitched value like loud roar, it is different from loud roar.It is often used to express extreme joy or impassionedness.

5. Rough voice
In daily work, leaders will inevitably encounter some troubles or distress.Therefore, speaking in a rough voice has become a good way to relieve your worries.However, listeners are often used to associate rough voice with accusations, rebuttals, reprimands, contradicting, resentment, and complaints.Therefore, be careful when using it.

6. Bad voice
As a leader, it is inevitable that there will be employees with bad intentions under him. Using vicious voices to whip these employees can serve as a warning, reprimand, hostility, hatred, contempt, and restraint.

7. Cold sound and air conditioning
At times, leaders are unable or inconvenient to express their intentions and emotions openly and strongly with vicious voices.Therefore, a cold voice can replace a bad voice and become a "cold war" method of leadership.In addition to indirectly expressing the meaning expressed by evil voice, it can also express dislike, sarcasm, sarcasm, unwillingness, disapproval, etc.

8. Weird sound
This tone of voice is often derogatory.However, in some occasions, the manager takes the opportunity to imitate the strange voice of the person he hates or hates, which can express the speaker's contempt, hatred, etc., and play the role of sarcasm and ridicule.

9. sigh
Sometimes, leaders can use sighs to vent their inner distress, and they can also express regret, regret, and guilt because they cannot change.In certain situations, a sigh and a smile to someone from a particular background can solve some management problems.

10. Hold your breath
Managers sometimes unconsciously temporarily suppress the voice and breath, or consciously close the voice and breath, which can often produce or a certain desired speaking effect.For example: attract, be attracted, respect, cautious, etc.

Different sounds and breaths express different meanings.Therefore, we should not only pay attention to the choice of words, but also choose the appropriate tone and tone.This is very important for leaders.Otherwise, no matter how beautiful the words are, they will lose their luster, and are likely to arouse suspicion, jealousy, dissatisfaction, rebuttal, hostility, spurn and ridicule from the listeners.

[-]. Taboos of speaking with leaders

Leaders are not ordinary colleagues after all.When getting along with the leader, talking and reporting the situation, you must pay more attention.Especially some words that make the leader unhappy, you must be more careful not to blurt out.

1. Think the leader is too slow

Inadvertently said: "It's too late!" This sentence means that the leader's actions are too slow, so that things are about to be missed.From the leader's ears, it has the meaning of "why not earlier".

2. Make the leader unable to step down

The leader assigns work tasks, but the employees say "this is not easy to handle", which will make the leader lose face. On the one hand, it shows that he is shirking responsibility, and on the other hand, it also shows that the leader has no vision.

3. "Grab" leadership words

The word "moved" is used by leaders to speak to employees, for example: "You are serious and responsible in your work and are not afraid of hardship, I am very touched!" It is not appropriate for the younger generation to use the word "moved" to the elders or the subordinate to the superior.To respect a leader, one should say "admire".Such as: "Manager, we all admire your decisiveness!".

4. Say something you shouldn't say

Say to the leader: "I don't know."

5. Say things that don't matter

Respond to the superior's question: "It doesn't matter, it's okay!" Such a statement shows that the employee does not care about the questions raised by the leader.

6. Overly polite
Be cautious when talking to leaders and take the overall situation into consideration.But worrying too much is counterproductive and prone to misunderstanding.

Therefore, employees should be good at observing words and expressions, and treat them with a normal heart.Sometimes the more cautious you are, the more likely you are to make mistakes, and you will be mistaken by your boss for lack of courage.

[-]. Strive to speak freely in front of leaders

Many people who usually talk and laugh freely start to stutter as soon as they are in front of the leader. There are many reasons for this situation.But the most important thing is the distance between superior and inferior status.As a leader, you should be considerate of this, take the initiative to approach your subordinates with an approachable attitude, use various methods to eliminate the fear of your subordinates and the people, and be willing to share weal and woe with your subordinates and the people in life.This kind of leadership, people are willing to talk to him.

Therefore, workplace etiquette requires us to never adopt a "kowtow" policy towards leaders.Don't be intimidated by his status or authority, neither fear nor flattery, let alone be careless and indifferent.

Maintaining one's own independent personality does not hinder the respect for leaders.Naturally, we should pay attention to the opinions of our superiors, but we should not be afraid to express our views different from others when necessary.As long as our attitude is polite and courteous, and we honestly express our opinions, we will be more valued by the other party than blindly flattering and flattering.

At the same time, employees in the workplace should know that although a leader is a superior, he is first of all a person. He has his personality, hobbies, and language habits. Employees must adapt to this.Don't think this is "catering", in fact, this is a kind of knowledge of applied psychology.

Put yourself in the leader's shoes and consider the possibility of solving your own problems.Some people know that objectively there is no condition to solve a certain problem, but they must go to the leader to solve it. The result of this kind of conversation must be an unhappy breakup.

It is crucial to report the situation faithfully and to report the truth correctly. This not only helps the leader to make correct decisions, but also directly affects the prestige of the leader himself.In many departments, there are disputes between superiors and subordinates at the same level, because some people report inaccurate reports to their superiors.When talking about an anecdote when he was young, Brubaker, an American advertising tycoon, said that once the manager of his company asked him, did the printing factory deliver the paper?He replied that they had sent them, and there were 5000 reams in total. The manager asked, "Have you counted them?" He said, "No, it was written like this on the slip." The company can’t ask a person to work who can’t even prove himself.” From then on, Brubaker learned a lesson, to report the situation to the superior, don’t say things that you are not sure about.

[-]. Eloquence skills to persuade the boss

For employees, it may not be difficult to find out the problems of their bosses. The hard part is whether they dare to raise them in person.Under normal circumstances, people have a passive defensive psychology, that is, they are worried that talking too much will offend their boss and will lead to retaliation, so they pretend not to see the problems of their boss.In fact, this attitude of prudent and self-protection is incorrect and irresponsible.

The shortcomings of subordinates persuading their superiors are bound to be different from those of superiors facing their subordinates. Subordinates must be good at grasping the particularity of the relationship between superiors and subordinates. Only with a decent tone, appropriate methods and skills can they receive the desired results.

1. Present the facts

When you discover the shortcomings of your boss, you should not point it out directly, and it is not advisable to speak positively to them.An effective method is to address specific issues, state more factual materials and your own opinions, and let the facts speak for themselves.As long as convincing facts are presented, the boss can make new judgments and change the original views.

2. Choose the right time
Psychological research shows that people have different moods and accept negative opinions in different ways.Persuasion to the boss cannot fail to take this psychological factor into account.Be good at choosing the time when your boss is in the best mood.For example, when they encounter happy things and are in a good mood; when a job is successfully completed;On the contrary, when they are depressed, busy with work, or impatient, it is best not to speak up.In addition, when your boss encounters a major problem or is in trouble, even if you are in a bad mood, it is also a good time to ask your boss for advice.

3. Find the right foothold

Generally speaking, the boss hates his subordinates to pick, teach, and correct themselves the most.Therefore, if you want your boss to change his mind, you must pay attention to the foothold when you speak.From the standpoint of caring for and loving your boss, approach your boss emotionally, put yourself in their shoes, help them, make them understand your sincerity and kindness, and feel from your heart that you are in the same boat as him.The resonance of thoughts and feelings can make it easier for the boss to accept your opinions.

4. Give your boss time to think
Advice to the boss should also pay attention to maintaining his dignity, and avoid using accusations to make the boss embarrassing and embarrassing in public.At the same time, we should also grasp the measure and stop when enough is enough. Don’t force your superiors to express their opinions and admit their mistakes on the spot. It’s also not advisable to engage in debates with them. Only when your superiors are stunned can you withdraw. This will not only fail to change their positions and views, but will also challenge their self-esteem. , And become stubborn, so that you can't listen to your opinions at all.Therefore, it is very important to grasp the sense of proportion when speaking. Under normal circumstances, as long as one expresses one's own opinion, the other party will make a decision and accept it in a way that one thinks is appropriate.

Subordinates should trust their leaders, and they will give full consideration to correct opinions and suggestions.However, subordinates should not try to "immediately see results", but should give their superiors time to think.

In short, giving opinions and suggestions to the boss shows the subordinate's love for the boss and their dedication to work. Even so, the subordinate still needs to consciously cultivate their eloquence skills in order to win the favor of the boss.

[-]. Eloquence skills when leaders delegate tasks

In the company's management work, the best embodiment of leadership management ability is how the leader delegates tasks to subordinates.

The purpose of delegating tasks to subordinates is to enable subordinates to complete tasks smoothly.This requires leaders to first have a deep understanding of the task itself to ensure that the content of the task is clear and clear.In addition to explaining the content of the task clearly and in an orderly manner, the most important thing is to guide different types of subordinates with different speaking skills to help them build up their confidence and sense of responsibility to complete the task.

1. Facing subordinates who love their work

For the subordinates who love their work, the leader must not put it down.It is not necessary for their leaders to explain the tasks in too much detail.After the task is clearly explained, you only need to say modestly: "For this kind of work, you are an expert, and it's all up to you." Leave sufficient time and space for competent subordinates to demonstrate their personal creativity.

2. Facing subordinates who are mercenary

No one wants to deal with people who are mercenary, but in a company, there are many subordinates who are pragmatic, and they are likely to care not about the task itself, but the material interests behind the task.To treat such subordinates, the leader can appropriately underestimate the content of the task, but they must also clearly realize that completing the task well is the prerequisite for material interests.After you have conveyed the gist of the task to him, you might as well point out to him the substantial material benefits that can be brought after completing the task.It is best to add a certain material stimulus to the process of completing the task, and explain to him what it means to perform well when delegating.It all helps motivate him to do his job beautifully.

3. Facing subordinates who lack confidence

Special attention should be paid to those subordinates who lack confidence in doing things and are not bold enough. After explaining the work tasks in detail, they should say to him: "This task, according to your strength, is nothing. Go hard and do it. You must do it." There will be a surprise for us." After finishing speaking, he patted him on the shoulder again, this kind of action is very necessary, and the subordinates will think: as long as I work harder, I will get something, even if I fail, I still have a big The collective is supporting me!

4. Facing competitive subordinates

For subordinates who are aggressive, conceited, and highly aggressive, after assigning tasks, it is best for the leader to use the simplest sentence to touch his "warlike" nerves.The leader can say: "Is this task difficult for you?" After getting his contemptuous answer, the leader can accept it as soon as it is good.Too much exhortation will only make him irritable, and it will make him even more dismissive of the execution of the task.

5. Facing older subordinates
Such subordinates are older and have limited energy. When assigning tasks to them, they must respect their feelings and opinions and be considerate of their difficulties.First of all, a humble attitude is the key to successful communication with subordinates who are older than themselves. Explain every detail of the task clearly and carefully, and ask them in time about the feasibility of task execution and their difficulties. while gaining more experience.At the end of the assignment, say to him kindly: "What you need most to complete this task is your rich experience and ingenuity. If you have any questions or comments in other areas, I hope you can help us point them out in time. We It will be resolved immediately." A few words of humility and warmth will comfort the hearts of these elderly subordinates enough, and even radiate the energy and enthusiasm of their youth.

[-]. Eloquence skills for talking with subordinates

When a leader talks to his subordinates, generally speaking, the first step is to obtain details of the progress of management work and supervise the implementation of leadership decisions by various departments.It can also be used to study problems that occur in the process of implementing decisions, explore and find solutions, and enable leaders to enter a participating position from an inspection position.In addition, instructions from superiors or personal decisions can be transmitted from it.At the same time, you can also get in touch with the staff, understand their various psychological qualities, and know each other well.Therefore, leaders must master the skills of talking with subordinates.

1. Highlight key points
Conversations must focus on key points and always hold on to one aspect. Leaders must lead by example. After general courtesy greetings, they must quickly turn to the topic and clarify practical issues.

2. Let subordinates tell the truth
The purpose of the conversation is to reflect the actual situation, but some subordinates, because of their scruples and insincere words, do not tell the truth during the conversation, and make the conversation meaningless.Therefore, the leader must be kind and kind, overcome the autocratic and domineering style, and use a frank, sincere, and realistic attitude. concerns or cater to psychology.

3. Make subordinates like to talk

The conversation is two-sided. If the leader gives positive and appropriate feedback to the subordinate's narration, the other party will enjoy talking about it and make the conversation harmonious and in-depth.Therefore, the leader should pay attention to his attitude when talking with his subordinates, and make full use of all means, such as feelings, interruptions, gestures and interjections, etc., to express his interest in what his subordinates say.The leader's slight smile, slight nod, and enthusiastic "yes" are the most effective encouragement for subordinates to talk.

4. Take advantage of opportunities to talk to subordinates

There are two types of conversations: formal and informal. Formal refers to conversations during working hours, and informal refers to conversations during spare time.As a leader, you should not give up the great opportunity to talk in your spare time.In the other party's unguarded state of mind, even a few words can sometimes play a big role.

5. Take advantage of pauses in conversation
When there is a pause in the subordinate's narration, there are generally two situations: one is intentional, and the subordinate is trying to test the leader's impression and reaction to his speech. Tell further.

Another kind of pause is due to a sudden interruption of thinking. At this time, it is best for the leader to help the subordinates get through the original train of thought, repeat what the subordinates just said in the form of questions, and let the subordinates continue to talk.

6. Master the proportion of the conversation

When listening to subordinates, leaders can make critical comments.However, comments should be put at the end of the conversation, and they can only be constructive opinions. They should be expressed cautiously, worded in a proper way, and should be adopted in a more reasonable form so that subordinates can easily accept them.

7. Keep your emotions in check
(End of this chapter)