Modern social etiquette and eloquence

Chapter 12 Social etiquette and eloquence (4)
A short gift not only reflects a person's cultural accomplishment, but also reflects a person's moral sentiment.The artistic and successful use of gift words can not only strengthen friendship and meet new friends, but also make interpersonal communication full of elegance and poetic charm.An ingenious and decent gift embodies the sincerity and love of the giver, and at the same time can leave a good impression on people.

In daily life, there are mainly the following types of gift words that we often see.

1. Flower message
Flowers are a trendy etiquette that is popular in modern society. Using flowers as a carrier of words not only allows relatives and friends to feel the fragrance of flowers, but also allows friends to experience the warmth and love that friendship gives.Therefore, when you choose a bouquet of flowers you want to gift to your friends, you may wish to leave a message on the bouquet tie.If you give this bouquet of roses to your lover on Valentine's Day, you can put a message on the cable tie: "You can forget everything, but you can't be forgotten!" This will make your lover ripple a layer of love in the lake of heart.If you send a bouquet of carnations to a sick friend, you can give a message: "Not gossiping, but a serious greeting: I hope you recover soon and smile every day." This will make the patient feel comfortable and feel the warmth of friendship.

2. Business card message
With the progress of society and the enhancement of people's awareness of communication, business cards have been widely used in interpersonal communication.When new friends meet for the first time, handing over a business card not only shows their identities, but also avoids the tedious introduction to each other, and looks elegant and decent.A business card, in addition to being able to introduce a person's identity, is also an ideal carrier of words.Especially when you want to visit a certain celebrity or ask someone for help or advice, you might as well write a few words of gift and humility to the other party on the back of the business card.Even a noble and aloof person, after receiving a business card with a message on it, will often hit it off with you at first sight, or try his best to help, and become good friends with you ever since.

3. Greeting card message
There is sure to be a feeling of bliss when you receive a beautiful greeting card with intoxicating wishes and heartfelt greetings.Greeting cards are the bond of friendship and the bridge of soul communication.It travels between people, shuttles between urban and rural areas, and becomes a testimony of people's cherished friendship.Therefore, the words on the greeting card should be concise and wonderful.

4. Gift message
Gifts are not only a medium of interpersonal communication, but also an ideal carrier of words.Most gifts come in boxes.Therefore, when giving a gift, you might as well paste a piece of colored paper on the box, and write a message or two in elegant lowercase letters on it, which will make the recipient very happy.If this box of cakes is given for the birthday of an old man, the auspicious words of "the tree of life is evergreen" or "mulberry and elm are like the longevity of a turtle" are on the question; if you send a suit, shirt, silk scarf, tie or For high-end gifts such as necklaces, rings, bracelets, etc., you can give the blessing of "gifts are not expensive, love is precious, let love stay in our hearts forever".

5. Song Quotes
With the rich and colorful life of modern people, some new and elegant communication etiquette activities have emerged in various places, among which the "King Station" run by TV stations and radio stations is an example.Due to the richness of pictures, texts and voices, and the extremely human touch, it is favored by contemporary people.If you can ingeniously add a beautifully written and vividly worded message while ordering a song, it will make the beneficiary feel the warmth of friendship all the time.For example, if you order a song for a newlywed couple, you can give it as: "Let this lingering melody ring the bell of happiness, and I sincerely wish you two: forever in love and grow old together"; if you order a song for a teacher, you can give it as: "Teaching is like spring breeze, bathing my heart every day; I would like to dedicate this song to you—— dear teacher, may you have peaches and plums all over the world"; if you order a song for a friend on a memorable day, you can give it: "Friendship will last forever In my heart, I wish to connect a melody and a poem in series to open up a warm virgin land. May you have good luck and peace every year!"

[-]. Borrowing things: Borrowing and repaying, it is not difficult to borrow again

In our daily life, there will always be times when we are short of money and things, so it is inevitable to ask relatives, neighbors and colleagues to borrow money.However, why some people can borrow things, and both the borrower and the borrower are happy; while some people always run into trouble?This is closely related to the borrower's eloquence, and borrowing things is also an art of eloquence.Therefore, when we borrow things from others, we must pay attention to the following arts when speaking.

1. Use a discussion tone

When borrowing something from others, you must not speak harshly, let alone say something that hurts others. You must know that you are asking for something.For example, if your child is sick and hospitalized, and you are short of money, you can only borrow it from others. At this time, you can say: "My child is sick, and I still need to pay for the hospitalization. I wonder if you have enough money? The money will be paid next month." I'll pay you back your wages." With this kind of negotiating tone, as long as both parties have money in their hands, they will definitely not help.But some people don't pay attention to this point, and when they borrow money from others, they say: "Who doesn't know how many 10 yuan you have saved, and lending me 1000 yuan is not a cow." In this case, it doesn't matter to joke with acquaintances, But talking to someone you don't know well will definitely arouse the other party's resentment and disgust, so you must use a discussion tone when you borrow something.

2. To explain the return time

When borrowing something from others, be sure to state when to return it, and return it to the other party on time.For example, if you go to the store with your friends and see a new dress, you want to buy it, but you don’t have enough money, you can say something like this: “Xiaoxin, please lend me 50 yuan first, and I will give it to you when I get back.” Send it." Explain the return time, so that the other party feels that the loaned money is guaranteed, so that both parties will lend you the money with confidence.

3. Speak honestly

When borrowing things from others, you must tell the truth, and you should not make up lies to deceive people just because it is easy to borrow.For example, when borrowing money, you obviously can't pay it back in the next few days. In order to make the other party willing to borrow, you lie to the other party: "I will pay it back in a few days." If you become a person who does not keep your promise, it will be difficult to borrow again next time.And when borrowing things, don’t change your words casually, start by saying to borrow 200 yuan, and then say to borrow 500 yuan after the person agrees, this will make the lender feel embarrassed.

4. Be more polite when borrowing is not available

When borrowing something from someone, there will always be times when you can’t get what you want. You can’t say something impolite just because the other party doesn’t want to lend you.For example, if you borrow a bicycle from the other party, and the other party says: "I'm sorry, I can't lend you the bicycle, I will go out later." At this time, you must not say: "What a coincidence, you want to use it when I borrow it" or something like that .Otherwise, it will greatly hurt peace.When borrowing money fails, if you can say to the other party: "I know you don't have a lot of money, I will go to someone else's house to see." This can make the other party feel that you are considerate.

5. The use of loanwords varies from person to person
If you have a good relationship, you may wish to be more casual; if you are a close friend, you can be more straightforward, so as not to make the other party feel "bad";For example, when borrowing money, old friends can directly express their intentions: "Hey, money is tight these two days, so borrow some money for use!" I bought another one like that, and there are still more than ten days until the end of the month, and this life is really tight!" If a friend can understand what you mean and offers to help you, then you can talk about the amount of the loan; if the other party is like you, talk about it Please don't open your mouth if you don't have enough money.Because, the meaning of the other party is obvious: he does not want to borrow.

[-]. Remember the names of strangers

Remembering the names of strangers is not only the basic etiquette of modern life, but also the best way to make a good impression on the other party. This ability is very useful in the social field.People are very familiar with you, but you can’t call them by their names. Although you can use vague methods to deal with it, you still feel uneasy. Sometimes because of your status, you should greet the other party first, but the other party is inconvenient to greet you first. If you can't remember the other person's name and don't greet the other person, the other person will mistake you for being arrogant and arrogant, so if you want to gain an advantage in the social field, memorizing the other person's name is an indispensable means.

Some teachers are able to call out students’ names at the first meeting because they have done what others are unwilling to do in advance, which is to identify students’ photos repeatedly, for several days in a row, and recognize all the photos. Personal appearance is imprinted in his mind, but ordinary people are usually unwilling to do such tedious and tedious work.In fact, it is very easy to memorize the names of strangers, recognize their faces from photos, and memorize them together with their names. For example, if there is a group photo, it only takes 10 minutes a day to memorize the people in the photo You can fully understand it in less than three to five days.The big and small leaders of the country, the famous people in the world, who have seen his photos several times, can point out that this is someone at any time. From this point of view, isn't it common to memorize the names of strangers?

The people we usually meet do not have photos, so the method of pre-reading photos cannot be applied.At this time, you might as well take advantage of the opportunity of meeting to identify him carefully, such as his physical characteristics, walking posture, small movements he loves to do, and so on.Everyone has characteristics, and some people have more than one characteristic. If you combine his characteristics with his name and identify them repeatedly in a short period of time, it will be easy to memorize them.

In addition, when doing identification, the attitude must be natural, and don't show the expression of identification, so that the other party will notice.It is unseemly to stare at him with both eyes.Especially for women, this gesture is enough to make the other party embarrassed and misunderstand you.

[-]. Unwelcome bad habits must be quit
Everyone has some insignificant but common bad habits in daily life, and these often fail to attract the attention and attention of those involved.But these insignificant bad habits can often arouse the resentment and dissatisfaction of others, especially in front of extremely cultivated people.Therefore, we must pay attention to etiquette and get rid of unpopular bad habits in life.

1. Yawn

Can you hold yourself back from yawning when you're tired of talking with friends, especially when they spout out their opinions?

Can you hold back your yawns in public?
Yawning in social situations gives the impression that you are impatient, not that you are tired.

2. Ear picking and nose picking
In the dining room, when everyone is drinking tea and eating, the small movements of picking their ears often make the onlookers feel sick.This small gesture is really indecent and disrespectful.Likewise, picking your nose with your fingers is considered rude.

3. Teeth picking
At the banquet, everyone will inevitably have small movements of teeth picking. Since this small movement cannot be avoided, you must pay attention not to expose your teeth when picking your teeth, and do not spit out the debris. It is best to cover your mouth with your left hand and turn your head slightly. Turn sideways, catching crumbs with a paper towel as you spit them out.

4. Scalp

Some people with a lot of dandruff can't bear the irritation of dandruff and scratch their scalp in social situations.Scratching the scalp inevitably sends dandruff flying in the wind, which is not only unsightly, but also very unpleasant to others.Especially at banquets, or more serious and solemn occasions, such small gestures are difficult to be forgiven.

5. Shaking legs
Shaking legs are more common when sitting, but less common when standing.Although this kind of small movement is harmless, because the legs are constantly shaking, it makes the other party's eyes uncomfortable, and it also makes people feel uneasy. Similarly, swinging the crossed legs like a pendulum is quite ugly.

6. Farting
Farting is a physiological phenomenon.In a normal physiological state, a person cannot stop farting.But in public, one loud fart is enough to spoil the atmosphere of the entire venue.Even if you fart, the smell is disgusting.According to an experienced person, you can take 3 breaths at the moment of premonition to fart.Otherwise, quietly leave the crowd for a while.

7. Zippers and laces unfastened
It's an embarrassing oversight, and forgetting to tie a shoelace or zip up a man's trousers is an outrageous thing to do in public.

8. Long nails and dirt
Having long nails may be a hobby, but some people are so neglectful to trim and clean their nails that it borders on faux pas.When shaking hands with each other, picking up cigarettes, and using chopsticks, the half-moon-shaped nail dirt is impressive, which is extremely indecent!

9 Don't address people with "Hi"
When making a phone call, people say "Hello" in order to connect the line, and after the exchange of voices, they usually say "Good morning" or "Hello", and then continue.

But for some people, when they see a friend, they would say "Hello" first as if answering the phone.

We also often see some people asking for directions, and they also say "Hi". Although the other party is a passerby, for the sake of politeness, they have to say "Hello" and "Excuse me, sir"...

10. Check your watch frequently

When chatting with friends, it is best to look at your watch less.Such small gestures will make your friends think that you have something important to do, which will stop the conversation; at the same time, your small gestures may cause the other party to misunderstand that you are impatient to continue the conversation.

If you really have something important to do, you might as well politely tell the other party to talk about it another day and apologize.

11. Not keeping time
Xiaoxi has a sweet appearance, a slender figure, elegant demeanor, gentle conversation, and is approachable.However, many people are reluctant to travel and travel with her, why?Because, she has a bad habit that is very troublesome: not keeping time.

Many times, friends were waiting for her to go on a trip together at the station, and when everyone arrived, she couldn't wait, and she couldn't wait, and after she came, amidst the complaints from others, she didn't even apologize. Don't say anything.

Gradually she was excluded from the lives of her friends.

12. Inquiring into other people's private affairs

Liu Li is good at everything, but she has a problem that people can't avoid, that is, she likes to inquire about other people's private affairs.Everywhere she went, she would go out of her way to inquire about other people's family situation and income, and when others were not paying attention, she would rummage through other people's utensils or peek at other people's text messages.

And, not only that, she casually told others about the private affairs she found out during the chat, regardless of whether doing so would harm others.

In fact, she didn't mean anything malicious, just curious, but she didn't know how much uneasiness and unhappiness this had brought to others.

Everyone has many things that they don't want others to know.Therefore, except for very close people or very familiar friends, most people should not inquire about other people's private lives.Sometimes in order to express your concern, you have to wait for others to tell you voluntarily after obtaining their consent. If you are not willing to tell you if you are opposed, don't ask any more.If the other party is willing to tell you about him, don't take it as news and spread it everywhere.As for eavesdropping on other people's conversations, peeking at other people's letters, diaries and short messages, it is already a kind of infringement.

(End of this chapter)