Scene language skills that college students must know

Chapter 44 Scene 44 - When there is an impasse

Chapter 44 Scene 44 - When there is an impasse
In daily communication, there is often a stalemate due to the first meeting or discord for some reason. In this case, the

How to do it?At this time, it is necessary to activate the atmosphere in a certain way. If there is a stalemate due to quarrels and other reasons, it is necessary to report to the opponent.

Fang apologized to break the deadlock.Breaking the deadlock is the prerequisite for normal communication.So, how to break the impasse? ?

Due to the different ages, education levels, working and living environments of people, there are various

features.This determines that when we break the deadlock, we must pay attention to the situation of the occasion and grasp the propriety of speaking.The following will introduce

Introduce several techniques and methods to break the deadlock. ?
([-]) Find topics based on the interests of the other party?
Interest is closely related to people's emotions.When people are interested in something, they always feel satisfied, accompanied by happiness
emotion.Therefore, starting from the things that people at odds with are interested in can not only eliminate their hostility, but also achieve emotional exchanges.
If there is no flow, there will even be a situation where "a thousand cups of wine are too few to meet a bosom friend".There are many examples to prove this point. ?
Because the instructor of a certain company repeatedly criticized Xiao Liu, a soldier who enlisted in the city, for not observing discipline, this caused great conflict between Xiao Liu and the instructor.
thread.Although the instructor talked to him over and over again, he was deadlocked because he couldn't say a word.Later, the instructor passed the serious
Observation, found that Xiao Liu is very interested in painting.One day when Xiao Liu was admiring Qi Baishi's works, the instructor came to him and said
"Xiao Liu, you are reading Qi Baishi's work!" When Xiao Liu saw that it was the instructor, he thought he was here to teach him a lesson again, so he turned coldly.

He said coldly: "How can you violate discipline when appreciating old Qi's masterpieces?" The instructor replied: "No, Qi Lao's paintings are lifelike.

, very beautiful, not only one of the best in China, but also very famous in the world, it is worth seeing! ""How do you understand

painting
? "Xiao Liu's tone immediately softened." It's not enough to understand.But just know a little. "The instructor further communicated with him

Warm up.That's it, the two of them Congda?Finch and Miller have been talking about Xu Beihong and Lu Yifei. The more they talk, the more they talk about it.
more closely.Finally, Xiao Liu took the initiative to review his mistakes. ?
This example vividly illustrates that shared interests and hobbies can melt the "frost" in the relationship and break the deadlock in the conversation between the two parties.
Bureau.Of course, the hobbies we talk about are positive and good hobbies, and for those bad hobbies, we
Never cater to. ?
([-]) Start with things that the other party is familiar with?

If the two parties meet for the first time because they are not familiar with each other, there will be some kind of deadlock.But if one party can know from the other party

If we start to talk about things, the deadlock will be broken quickly, and the distance between the two parties will be shortened quickly. ?
In 1937, Wells went to Xi'an as the reporter of the "Miller's Review" in Peiping to prepare for an interview in Yan'an.one night, she

Get rid of the surveillance of the Xi'an Kuomintang forces and the Blue Shirts secret agents, make up and jump out of the house from the window to escape from Xi'an to Yan'an.Dayan
safe
The next morning, Chairman Mao and Commander-in-Chief Zhu came to see her together. ?
Chairman Mao said: "Welcome to Yan'an."?
"I know your story. Because my husband Snow wrote your story, I typed it for him," Wells said.
Chairman Mao laughed knowingly.Wells immediately took out a photo from his notebook and said to Chairman Mao:?

"I've known you from this photo for a long time. It was taken by Snow. When I jumped out of the window from Xi'an, I only brought two
thing.One is your photo, the other is a box of lipstick.You know how important a box of lipstick is to young American women

If you want, you can contribute almost anything, but lipstick cannot be lost.So, you won't be surprised. "?
The humorous words made the chairman and the commander-in-chief laugh. ?
Chairman Mao took the photo wearing the Red Army octagonal cap, squinted his eyes and smiled and said: "I never thought that my photo would be
so pretty. "?
From this point on, the emotional distance between the two parties suddenly narrowed, and the conversation became particularly harmonious. ?
Wells said to Chairman Mao: "I saw you in Yan'an, seeing a leader of the Chinese revolution, just like a leader in the United States.

The village sees Washington. Chairman Mao nodded and said with a smile: "I know the man Washington in the United States." "?
Wells added: "However, I have read that Snow wrote your biography, which seems to be more like Lincoln's biography than Washington's.

"?
Chairman Mao said: "I know Lincoln, and I also like Lincoln. He issued a declaration to liberate black slaves and carried out the victory successfully.
A far-reaching bourgeois-democratic revolution.He was the one who put forward the slogan "Owned by the people, by the people, and for the people". "?
Wells laughed: "And you want to liberate the entire Chinese people."?
This early morning meeting was the prelude to Wells' long interview in Yan'an.Because Wells pointed to communicating the feelings of both parties from the beginning

The trigger point, so the emotional distance between the two parties was quickly shortened.The purpose of Wells' first sentence was to tell Chairman Mao that although she was
It was the first time to see Chairman Mao, but she was not unfamiliar, because she had typed the biography of Chairman Mao for Snow.such confession
It makes Chairman Mao's attitude towards her different from that of a person who knows nothing about Chairman Mao.Next Wells take a picture
The photo was shown to Chairman Mao, and she said that she regarded this photo as the most precious thing.The words are very humorous, which makes the relationship between the two parties further integrated.
Contact.In the third step, Wells expressed her evaluation of Chairman Mao in a few words, taking Chairman Mao as the same as Washington and Lincoln in the United States.

connect.On the one hand, this shows that she has already done some research on Chairman Mao's revolutionary activities, which made the interviewee clearly feel that
She is very interested in the other party's activities, which confirms the two-way resonance of the two parties on the same touch point.On the other hand, Chairman Mao

The trust and importance she places on herself shows that she is not a young foreign woman who is just looking at the scene out of curiosity.Wei
Wes understands that only if the interviewee values ​​the reporter's visit and trusts its sincerity and ability, can the interviewee agree with the reporter?

The reporter conducted an in-depth conversation.She wanted to create the impression that she hit it off with Chairman Mao, and she succeeded. ?
([-]) Carefully arrange the context in which the other party feels cordial?
When the other party comes to an unfamiliar environment, they will generally feel unnatural, and there will often be a deadlock, but if you can tell the other party in advance
Having a specific understanding of all aspects of the situation, and arranging an environment for the other party to make the other party feel cordial, often helps to eliminate the ambiguity of the other party.
The strangeness of each other, breaking the deadlock in the conversation.Please see the following example: ?

In March 1945, Huang Yanpei and other six National Political Councilors were invited to visit Yan'an. "We haven't seen each other for more than 3 years." Mao Zedong and Huang
Pei said while shaking hands.Huang was stunned, after all, it was the first time we met!Mao Zedong said with a smile, in Shanghai on a certain day in May 1920, Mr.

Chairman of the meeting welcomes Dr. Dewey, what is the content of the speech, and I am Mao Zedong among the large audience.Huang Yanpei feels deeply
Unexpectedly, it was unexpected that there was such a hero among the audience back then.He praised Mao Zedong's good memory, the original stranger
Sensation is swept away. ?
The next day, Huang Yanpei and other six people were invited to Yangjialing again. He walked into Mao Zedong's reception room and suddenly found a painting that was very
Familiar with.The picture is a jug with the word "Maotai" written on it, and a few cups beside the jug. ——This is from Shuyang, the second son of Shen Junru
hand.There is also a poem on the painting: "It is rumored that there are guests passing by Maotai, and they come to wash their feet in the brewing pool. I don't care if it is true or not. It is cold and drink

Two or three cups. "A sense of nostalgia can't help but arise spontaneously. Isn't this just my inscription? Yes, this painting was originally written by Shu Yang.

Painted by Shen Junru, it was written in 1942 when the Kuomintang set off the third anti-communist upsurge. Someone asked me to write an inscription because I suddenly remembered the Long March

The rumor that the Communists washed their feet in the Maotai wine pool.In response to this rumor, he wrote the poem "Qijue" as an allegory.Unexpectedly, this

A painting actually hangs in the living room of the leader of the Communist Party of China!Immediately, a feeling of knowing you was like a warm current overflowing Huang Yanpei's whole body.he is deeply connected with

Mao Zedong and other communists hit it off right away, and they can confide in their hearts. ?
Facts have proved that the Yan'an Talks confirmed Mr. Huang Yanpei's future direction, and the atmosphere and environment of the talks carefully created by Mao Zedong,
It also laid the foundation for the success of the talks.Mao Zedong is worthy of being a master of eloquence, and Huang Yanpei feels very cordial with his carefully arranged context
, broke the deadlock of the two people's first meeting, and made the two hit it off.This is undoubtedly conducive to winning over the leftists of the Kuomintang and strengthening the resistance
Japan's united front finally contributed to the success of the talks. ?
([-]) By making the other party trust yourself?
If the other party holds an attitude of trust in oneself, then the deadlock between the two parties will be broken immediately.The first question is how to make the right

If you want to trust yourself, you need a sincere attitude and personality.When you are in contact with others, you show your authenticity in the conversation

A sincere and sincere attitude, and showing your personality to the other party can often break the deadlock and gain the trust of the other party. ?
There was an interview with an American reporter about the drinking habits of teenagers.He chooses a junior high school vice-principal who wants to know
Off
Condition.She asked the vice-principal if there were any problems like this at his school.The other party replied hesitantly, if we

If there is such a problem, we will deal with it ourselves, and we will not discuss it in the newspapers.The interviewee is very suspicious and impatient
He warned reporters not to use his own name and the name of the school.The reporter told her that teen drinking is a social phenomenon
, discussed in the newspaper does not affect the reputation of the school.If the school takes this issue seriously, it proves that the school is responsible for the young people.

vice principal last

The attitude changed, journalists were allowed to go to the newspapers and had in-depth discussions with journalists. ?
([-]) Starting from different angles?
Sometimes when there is a stalemate, it can be understood from one side that it will be furious, but from another perspective, there will be a new turning point

, so that "deadlock" is not "deadlock".This approach tends to work better when there is a deadlock. ?
An old tailor, who saved a little money, sent his son to London to go to college.Once, my son wrote a letter. He was illiterate, so I had to ask
A pig butcher next door read the letter for him.The butcher couldn't read much either, so he turned the letter over and over again, and said to him, "Your son

The son said that the money sent last time has been spent, please send another 20 pounds as soon as possible. The tailor asked: "What else do you say?" "

"There is nothing left," said the butcher. When the tailor returned home, the more he thought about it, the angrier he became.I thought: I work hard every day with ten fingers
He sews clothes, saves money on food and expenses, and finally saves a little money for him to go to college, but he doesn't know what to do, and seems to give orders

, asked me to send 20 pounds quickly, not even a word of greetings!What a waste of life for him!Don't send it, let's see how he does! ?
When he was sulking, a pastor asked him to make clothes and asked him why he was angry, and he described the situation in detail.the pastor said let me

have a look. ?
The pastor read it from beginning to end.Said to the tailor: "Is your son a good writer! I will tell you. The letter said: Dad,
How are you doing recently?You work hard every day and live frugally. It is not easy to earn a little money. Most of it is sent to me.
I feel very uneasy, so I can only work hard, learn well, and repay you well in the future.Recently, I have taken a new course and need to buy
Several required reference books.In addition, the meal expenses for the next month will also be paid.Therefore, I would like to ask you to try to send some money, if
I'd appreciate it if you sent £10, and I'd appreciate it even more if it's £20! "?
The tailor didn't believe it, and asked: "Is it really written like that?" The pastor said: "I can't lie to you! You think, a few pieces of paper, only write money

After spending, how about sending 20 pounds? The tailor thought, "That's right!" ——” When he was happy, he sent 20 pounds to his son on the same day

went. ?
The pastor here looks at the problem from another angle, breaking the deadlock that the tailor does not send money to his son.

([-]) Looking for the trigger point to communicate the feelings of both parties?
The so-called trigger point for communicating the feelings of both parties refers to the contact point that can cause emotional fluctuations, resonance, excitement, and instant triggering.Depend on
Depending on the occupation, personality, age, culture, and experience of the interviewees, all kinds of people have emotional differences when dealing with interviewees.

a certain distance.The near and far of this distance often determines the depth and shallowness of the conversation.Interviewer interviews are time-limited and to be
To shorten the emotional distance between the two parties in a short period of time, a better way is to choose a shortcut, that is, to find a touch point to communicate the feelings of both parties.

Make a point.Here is an example of this: ?

A reporter once visited a politician in order to obtain some scandalous information about him.However, it's too late to greet
, the politician stopped the reporter who wanted to ask questions and said: "It's still a long time, we can talk slowly."
I was surprised by this calm and unhurried attitude. ?
Not long after, the servant brought the coffee to the table. The politician took a sip of the coffee and immediately shouted, "Oh! It's so hot!"

The coffee cup rolled to the ground.After the servants cleaned up, the politician inserted the cigarette upside down into his mouth and lit it through the filter.

At this time, the reporter hurriedly reminded: "Sir, you took the cigarette upside down." After hearing this, the politician hurriedly held the cigarette upright,

Unexpectedly, the ashtray was knocked over to the ground. ?
The usual high-spirited politician made a series of fools, which surprised the reporter. Unknowingly, the original challenging mood
Emotions disappeared, and even harbored a sense of intimacy with the other party. ?
The entire process was actually arranged by politicians.When it is discovered that outstanding authority figures also have many weaknesses, too much
The fear of him will disappear, thus communicating the feelings of both parties.and, driven by compassion, will also

The other party has a certain degree of intimacy, and the deadlock is broken.

(End of this chapter)