Scene language skills that college students must know

Chapter 43 Scene 43 - When a Dispute Occurs
Chapter 43 Scene 43 - When a Dispute Occurs
In real life, people often have conflicts with others for one reason or another, causing quarrels and disputes.For interpersonal

If unexpected disputes in the relationship are not resolved in time, it is easy to deepen the grievances between the two parties and hinder each other's normal work and life.
, and even have adverse effects on others.Therefore, skillfully mediating disputes can "turn hostilities into jades" and avoid unnecessary disputes.

The loss of love makes the interpersonal relationship harmonious and harmonious.The following is such an example. ?
According to legend, once upon a time, there was an official who was a high-ranking official in Kyoto. One day, he suddenly received a letter from his son in his hometown, saying that his
Because the neighbor built a house and occupied the land of one wall of his house, the family was very angry, so they wrote to ask their father to be the master, the meaning is very obvious

The reason is to ask his father, who is a high official, to use his "power" to force the other party to return the land.The official thought for a while,
So he wrote four poems in reply to his son, the poem said:?

Thousands of miles throwing books are only for the wall, right?

It doesn't matter if you let him be three feet. ?
The Great Wall is still there today, right?

Who saw Qin Shihuang back then? ?

Seeing that the official was so meek, the neighbors were ashamed, and took the initiative to tear down the wall, and spread the official's story everywhere.
Honest and honest, left a good story. ?
The Beijing official skillfully mediated the dispute, making the relationship between the two families harmonious.His skill is to speak tactfully,
Fang, using the past to describe the present, has achieved success.So, how do we mediate disputes in our daily life?The following is
some

Commonly used methods and techniques: ?

([-]) Reduce the seriousness of the dispute?
When a dispute occurs, you cannot exaggerate the seriousness of the dispute, on the contrary, you should minimize the seriousness of the dispute, so that one or both parties look down on the dispute
, so as to ease emotions and calm disputes.Here is an example of this: ?

A newly married couple in a certain factory had conflicts over trivial family matters. The woman ran to the factory’s natal home in a fit of rage and complained, saying that the man

Bully her.After hearing this, the elder brother thought to himself: My younger sister was bullied by her brother-in-law shortly after she got married, will she still have a good life in the future?So he angrily declared
I'm going to teach my brother-in-law a lesson.At this time, the father acted as a "peacemaker". He first said to his son:?
"Teach him? Don't be impulsive! Can you solve the problem by teaching him? Besides, his family is not in the factory, and he is alone and helpless.

Go and teach him a lesson, won't others gossip?Well, you don't need to worry about the little things in my sister's own house, and me and your mother
Woolen cloth.Mind your own business. "?
After the son calmed down and left, the father comforted his daughter and said:?
"Don't cry, it's not a big deal. They're all married, and they still play childish temper, how embarrassing. How can a young couple
Not quarreling?I used to argue with your mother a lot.However, husbands and wives do not hold grudges when they quarrel, and husbands and wives do not quarrel overnight.you
Do not think

Too much, in the future, you should be more magnanimous in everything, and don't be as coquettish and self-willed as you were in your mother's house.Okay, hurry back to your little house, don't let

He's here to get you back, and he's a nice lad.Don't show your family ugliness to the outside world, and don't be indifferent to minor conflicts in the future

Just run to your mother's house? "?
The daughter nodded and stopped crying, and went back to her little home as if nothing happened. ?
It is common for husband and wife to quarrel, but the parties themselves think it is very serious.Therefore, the father comforted his daughter's past

During the process, she always emphasized that the husband and wife's quarrel was just a "little" trivial matter, which prompted her daughter to take the dispute lightly.daughter is cold

After thinking quietly, I agreed with my father's point of view, my thoughts cleared up, and my anger naturally disappeared. ?
([-]) Appropriate praise and criticism?
When people have disputes, they often argue about who is right and who is wrong, who is good and who is bad.Therefore, mediators should grasp the point

, when persuading one party, avoid the most important and ignore the less important, and do not make judgments on the moral merits of the two parties, but on the basis of their personalities,

Appropriately "praise one side and derogate the other side" in terms of differences in ability, so that the praised side can get satisfaction and give up disputes without

Hurting the party being demoted makes the mediation successful. ?
Xiao Chen and Xiao Yang are new young teachers from a certain school.
Strong business ability.Once, there was a dispute between two young people. Xiao Chen said that he was not good enough for Xiao Yang. He felt aggrieved and went to the principal's office.
complain.The principal patted Xiao Chen on the shoulder and said, "Xiao Chen, you have a good temper and are considerate in handling things. Everyone knows this and appreciates it.

Thank you, but Xiao Yang is born with a bad temper, he forgets everything when his temper comes up, and when the temper passes, the world will be peaceful.you
He is a careful person who knows how to unite his colleagues and do a good job. How can you be as knowledgeable as his explosive temper? "One time

Xiao Chen blushed as he spoke, and the dispute subsided.

([-]) Shorten the distance between each other?
When the two parties are at loggerheads, the most effective mediation method is to shorten the distance between each other.It is said that in World War II, Roosevelt, Yaw
Churchill and Stalin discussed the execution of war criminals in Tehran. Churchill and Stalin held their own opinions.

There was a dispute over the target, and a stalemate occurred.At this time, Roosevelt, who was good at smoothing things over, proposed a compromise plan——
I'm subtracting very few numbers from the numbers presented.Things took a dramatic turn: the stalemate was suddenly broken, and Stalin

agreed, because it was almost the same as his original opinion; Churchill no longer objected, because after all, this opinion was not Stalin's
Lin's, although the reduction was not much, but after all, the other party gave in to him. ?
Roosevelt's mediation was successful because he captured the psychological factors that produced the dispute.people are driven by conflict
is often not a specific fact.Especially when they can't win for a long time, what drives them to continue is often "I must

To insist, I'm right, I just won't give in to you" these ideas. Therefore, as long as the other party gives up the original opinion, no matter

No matter how small a step you make, you will feel satisfied and no longer hold on to your position.That's how Roosevelt succeeded.therefore,
When we encounter such a situation in social life, we can look for the common ground and differences between the two parties in dispute, and try to narrow the gap.
Shorten the gap between their different points and propose a compromise to achieve the purpose of mediation. ?
([-]) Praise the strengths of both parties?
When there is a dispute between the two parties, only criticizing it may make the dispute worse.On the contrary, separate praises produce entanglement

The two parties in conflict affirm their respective values, making them feel that going on like this will only damage their own image, so they consciously
The arguing stopped. ?
On Sunday, Xiao Chen's family made dumplings, her mother-in-law rolled out the dumpling wrappers, and Xiao Chen and his wife made dumplings.After a while, the son ran in from the outside:
"I want to pack too."?
The mother-in-law said: "Da Gang is good, go wash your hands and come back again."?
The son didn't move his nest, just rubbed around.The wife called: "What are you rubbing! Don't wash your hands, look at the flour all over your body, I see you

Today is going to be beaten. "?
"Wow..." the 5-year-old Dagang burst into tears. ?
"The child is still young, what do you know? He is so fierce, don't scare him!" The mother-in-law felt sorry for her grandson. ?
"I'm still 5 years old and I'm not sensible. I have my own reasons to take care of the child. Protecting him is harming him!"?
"Who is protecting him, what can a 5-year-old child know, can't he talk about it? Scare him every now and then!"?
Xiao Chen saw that if he didn't speak, the "fire" would become more and more intense, so he said: "Besides, today's dumplings are going to be salty."
Yo!On weekdays, neighbors and friends all say that I am blessed, envy me for having a hospitable and reasonable mother, and praise me

There is a wife who is ambitious and outspoken. Seeing you like this, others will laugh at you. It is for the good of the children.Dagang not yet

Go and let mom help you wash your hands, and tell grandma not to be angry. "Turning to his wife again: "Look at you, the standard 'beauty image'

’, the mouth is so pouted that ten buckets can be hung on it.Getting angry is not good for beauty! "The wife was amused by him. Over there, the mother was giving

The child wiped the flour on his body, and obviously his anger disappeared. ?
([-]) Arouse the sense of honor of the parties involved?
Everyone has a side to be proud of, so when there is a dispute between the two parties, if appropriate methods can be used to arouse their inner

With a sense of pride and honor, the parties can consciously stop disputes.Here is an example of this: ?

On a bus, the flight attendant pinched the passenger when he closed the door, but he refused to admit it. At this time, a young man complained,

Said to the flight attendant: "What are you doing to eat! If you don't like doing it, go home and pick up the baby!" The flight attendant's mouth was like a knife, and the two quarreled
.At this time, an old worker in the car looked at the factory emblem on the young man's chest, remembered something, squeezed over, patted the young man on the shoulder and said

: "Xiao Ding, it's not enough for you to be a machine repair king, do you also want to be a quarrel king?" The young man said, "Master, I don't know you."
ah! "I know you. Last time I went to your factory, you stood on the honor roll at the door to welcome me. That huge photo is so impressive!"
The young man blushed all of a sudden. The old worker said: "Don't quarrel anymore, this is not the way to solve the problem." "

A dispute was thus settled. ?
(End of this chapter)