Smile is very alluring: the charming temperament you want most

Chapter 3 Self-cultivation, let your soul have fragrance (2)
As the saying goes, "A gentleman hides his tools in his body and moves them when the time comes."Although our ingenuity needs to be appreciated by the leaders, if we show ourselves off in front of the leaders or colleagues without any scruples, it will be unavoidable to be artificial.In that way, it is bound to arouse the resentment of others.Perhaps, many people think that it is a chic expression to show the spirit of pointing out the country and being high-spirited.As everyone knows, that kind of performance may highlight my personality in my student days, and it is also recognized by most people, but on the big stage of the workplace, because my identity and the environment I live in have changed. When you are too public, you will get yourself into trouble.

Therefore, ladies in the workplace must know how to be humble and try to make others feel that he is superior to you. Even if we want to please them and impress them, we must not show our talents too much, otherwise it may be counterproductive and exciting. Arouse the fear and anxiety of others.

Only humility is the supreme wisdom in dealing with the world, and it is also a kind of victorious way to "govern by doing nothing".A mature working woman should know how to bow her head at the right time, and know when to advance and when to retreat.

We must understand that no one appreciates a megalomaniac.No matter who it is, if she always has the attitude of Laozi being number one in the world, she won't be likable. Such a person will naturally lose some opportunities.Especially those girls who have just entered the workplace, if they always feel that their school is so good and their professional and practical experience is great, then they will not be liked by colleagues and leaders, and they will be alienated by everyone.

Of course, what we mean by humility is not to make you bow your head, the more humble you are, the better.In fact, humility requires sufficient ability to support it.If we can be very proficient in a certain field and be faithful to our profession, and then apply it to specific work, over time, others will naturally see our talents and abilities.At that time, wouldn't our presentation carry more weight?
1.Don't show off your achievements

If a person is smart enough, he will not flaunt his achievements in front of his colleagues.Because at work, if you are too aggressive, your colleagues may gradually alienate you.

2.don't take small things lightly
There may also be "gold mines" in small things, which need to be untiringly discovered.There was once a newcomer who first joined the human resources department of a Fortune 500 company. She started with the basic work of sorting out files, but she memorized the situation of every employee in the unit by heart.Within a few years, she became the human resources director of the company.It can be seen from this that there is really no trivial matter in the workplace.

Therefore, if we want to make ourselves a person that others like, we must know how to be humble.In this way, we will not make enemies for ourselves, which is of great benefit to us in establishing a good workplace relationship.

Don't argue, don't compete, you will be lovable

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If you compete with others with five points of strength, others will compete with you with twelve points of strength.

——Anonymous

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Some people are eloquent and can say "one, two, three" in everything, but they may not be able to convince others.This is because a woman who can talk will be very likable, but a woman who loves to argue "unreasonably disturbing three points" may not be popular.This is because everyone likes the gentle feeling in the other's words.

We probably all have this experience. In work or life, when the other party has a different opinion, if the other party expresses it in a gentle tone, then we will not resist too much; on the contrary, if the other party’s tone is blunt If we do, even if the other party is well-intentioned, it may make us feel disgusted.

People who have the habit of raising arguments generally show that they do not give others a chance to speak, and often express different opinions on what others say.For this phenomenon, psychologists believe that it is a manifestation of narcissism and rebellious psychology.Because people with narcissism care about their own feelings, they don't think empathy, and they don't think about others.They often like to "transform" themselves into saviors, and feel that they should have the final say on everything and others have to obey them.

Such people tend to be eloquent than ordinary people, and their thinking is more active. Talking with people is often like a wonderful debate.However, if you speak brilliantly, no one will be willing to listen.Let’s take a look at the following example of “gossip” in the workplace: Su Lixia works as an accountant in a company. Due to her long working experience, she relies on her seniority and high education. She not only loves to gossip with her colleagues, but also likes to gossip with leaders at work. top cow".

Once, the leader arranged for her to go to the tax bureau to file tax returns as soon as possible, but Su Lixia thought that her boss didn't understand finances and was just directing blindly.So, Su Lixia just dawdled and didn't move.Seeing this, the leader said to her, "If you don't report it, you will be fined." But Su Lixia said, "What are you afraid of? I have been an accountant for so many years and still don't understand?"

The leader said again: "As an employee of my department, you have to accept the arrangement made by the leader." Hearing what the boss said, Su Lixia said a little annoyed: "When I came to work here, you didn't know where you were. What do you have to let me listen to you?"

The leader was also a little annoyed, but considering that there were some colleagues around him, he suppressed his anger and did not attack.

However, the colleagues saw it, but they talked about Su Lixia——

Two colleagues who usually have a good relationship with Su Lixia hurriedly persuaded her, one of them said: "What's wrong with you, you can just argue with us, but you are actually fighting with your immediate boss." The boss will definitely fire you and give you shoes."

One day, those two colleagues who had a good relationship called Su Lixia to a coffee shop and persuaded her, "The boss is the boss after all, how can you get him to step down if you argue with him like this?"

Unexpectedly, Su Lixia not only didn't appreciate it, but became even more enthusiastic: "It's just our leader, do you still need to curry favor with him?" The two colleagues said: "It doesn't matter if you don't curry favor, but you should also respect him. In fact, you have a very good heart." , but if you talk too aggressively, you will inevitably offend people."

Unexpectedly, after hearing this, Su Lixia said sarcastically: "You have seen his level, how can I respect him! Let's talk about age first, he is 28 years old, I am 34 years old, he is not as tall as me. Besides education, he is not a high school student. After graduating and working, I got a junior college degree, but I am an undergraduate who graduated from a regular college. Besides, he is several years behind me in terms of length of service. He knows how to engage in up and down relationships all day long, while I I worked hard and put my head down to make accounts. Tell me, can you convince me that a person like him still tells me what to do?"

Colleagues said: "He is worse than you in these aspects, but his coordination ability is better than yours!"

Su Lixia said: "In addition to coordinating the relationship with the superior, I think his coordination ability is not much better than mine!"

In this way, Su Lixia and the two colleagues who persuaded her, you quarreled with each other, but couldn't listen to a word of advice, which made everyone look at each other in blank dismay, speechless.

Six months later, Su Lixia was fired from her work unit.

It is not difficult to see from this that it is not a good thing to like to fight and fight. It is some trivial things in work, but because of love to fight and fight, it affects my interpersonal relationship and even ruins my future.

In fact, whether it is in life or work, after many things have passed, when we think back to the scene of our bullying, we will feel that those are some trivial things, not worth mentioning at all.Maybe we will forget it after a while, but if we love to compete with neighbors, colleagues, and friends in this way, it will definitely have a great negative impact on our lives.

In this era, there are not many big things that are right and wrong. Relatively speaking, it is some ordinary and trivial things that occupy our lives.Perhaps in many cases, it is not that we want to argue with others, but there are always people who like to argue with us in order to dispel their depression and release their complaints, insisting on accusing our correct remarks as mistakes.When encountering such a situation, the best way is to nod your head in agreement.

Due to the differences in education and growth environment between people, conflicts are inevitable.People who like to argue with others for right and wrong in everything, and who have the posture of swearing that they will not give up regardless of whether they are superior or inferior, will not only end up unpopular, but also mess things up.Smart people know how to seek common ground while reserving differences, tolerate small conflicts, and avoid quarrels with others. This will make it easier to get friends, and life will naturally be much happier because of it.

A philosopher once said that the most difficult thing to discipline among all the organs of a person is his mouth that keeps talking.In fact, this is especially true for women who love to express their emotions and thoughts in words.But you must know that being quick-talking for a while may bring you short-term pleasure, but it will also leave long-term hidden dangers in your life; and a woman who likes to fight with others is definitely not a cute woman , and will not be welcomed and respected by others.

Give sincerely, the best heart-warming soup

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People don't give for the sake of getting, and giving is an incomparable joy in itself.

——Beauty Humanism Philosopher Fromm

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When many people hear the word "pay", they immediately think of suffering.They will think in their hearts, how can they do things that are at a disadvantage?Isn't that what fools do!

In fact, they don't know that in many cases, suffering is also a kind of blessing, and giving is also a kind of gain.

Paying for a friend is actually making emotional savings. Maybe you will never use it in your life, but it will make you feel unspeakable happiness and satisfaction in your heart, and at the same time, it can deepen your friendship with each other.

Let's look at a story about giving:

A man sits next to a pile of gold, but he holds out his hands and begs from passers-by.

At this time, the Buddha came over, and the man also extended his hands to him.

"Son, you already have so much gold, what more do you beg for?" Buddha asked.

The man replied: "Alas! I have so much gold, but I am still not satisfied. I am begging for more gold. Besides gold, I am also begging for love, honor, and success."

Buddha took all the love, honor and success he needed out of his pocket and gave them to him.

After a while, the Buddha passed by here again. The man was still sitting on a pile of gold, stretching his hands to passers-by.

"Son, you already have what you wanted at the beginning, aren't you satisfied?"

"Alas! Although I have obtained so many things, I am still not satisfied. I still need happiness and stimulation." The man said.

Buddha also gave him pleasure and excitement.

Another month later, the Buddha passed by here again and saw the man still sitting on a pile of gold, stretching out his hands to passers-by-despite being accompanied by love, honor, success, joy and excitement.

"Son, you already have much more than others, are you still not satisfied?" Buddha asked.

"Yeah, although I have things that many people don't have, I still can't feel satisfied, old man, please give me satisfaction!" the man said.

The Buddha said with a smile: "Do you need to be satisfied? Children, then, please learn to give from now on."

The Buddha passed by again a month later, and saw this man standing by the side of the road. There was not much gold left around him, and he was giving them to passers-by.

He gave gold to the needy, love to the needy, honor and success to the miserable, joy to the sad, excitement to the insensitive.Now, he has nothing.

The man smiled as he watched the people take the things he had donated and left gratefully.

"Son, are you satisfied now?" Buddha asked.

"Satisfied! Satisfied!" The man said with a smile, "It turns out that satisfaction is hidden in the arms of giving. When I kept begging, I got this and wanted that again. I never knew what satisfaction is. When I give , I am proud and satisfied of the perfection of my own personality; I am proud and satisfied of the grateful eyes cast by people. Thank you, you finally let me know what satisfaction is."

From this story, we can easily see that wealth, status, ability, power and good looks are just the external conditions of a person. These external conditions are important, but what really makes us win the love of others is our own. soul.

It is said in physics: "The action of force is mutual." In fact, the action between people is also mutual. If you help others, others will naturally help you.When you help others, you are actually helping yourself.Sun Wukong helped Tang Monk learn Buddhist scriptures from the west, and was finally named the Buddha of Fighting Conqueror. Lu Xun helped the numb Chinese to wake up, and was finally admired by thousands of people. Zhuge Liang helped Liu Bei conquer the world, and his name lasted forever...

A long time ago, there was a lost parrot. After being separated from his family, he couldn't find his way home, so he had to live temporarily in the forest.The birds and beasts in this forest live in harmony and do not harm each other.And they are very friendly to foreign guests.

The parrot was warmly welcomed by all the birds, and everyone hoped that it would stay forever.Receiving such courtesy, the parrot was touched and said: "I am so touched by your happy friendship! To be honest, I really want to stay and live with you, but I have my own family and partners, and I can't bear to leave them. I have to go back."

So, the parrot was a guest for several days, and on a sunny day, it flew away little by little in the direction of home.

Not long after the parrot left, the mountain forest where the birds were located suddenly caught fire, and the fire was raging, and the flames soared into the sky.The parrot saw it from high in the sky, and thought that the friendly companions were in danger, it was extremely anxious, so it flew to the river bank, filled its wings with water, and then flew to the sky above the mountain forest, and sprinkled the water on its wings down.The parrot soared so fast, I don't know how many times it went back and forth, it was extremely tired, but it still didn't let up!
This feat of the parrot was seen by the patrolling god, who was surprised and said to the parrot: "Parrot, you are so stupid! What can a little water on your wings do? Can't you get close to the fire? Can you go back and forth tiredly, regardless of your own life, can you put out the fire in this mountain forest?"

I saw the parrot weeping and said: "I know I can't, but these companions in the forest are so good! I have lived with them, and they treat me like a family. Now that they are in great trouble, I can bear to sit and watch." Don’t you want to save them? I can only do my best to save them!”

Hearing what the parrot said, the god was very moved, and then he cast a spell to rain heavily to help the parrot put out the fire.After a while, the fire was extinguished, and the creatures in the forest were saved!
This story is obviously telling people that when others are in trouble, if they can reach out to them, then when they encounter difficulties, the other party will also "repay the favor".

The famous Austrian psychologist Al Adler said: "The person who is not sincere to others will have the most difficulties in his life and hurt others the most. All human failures come from this kind of person." Because this kind of person has no friends , He can't care and help others, and others won't care and help him.

Therefore, if we want to win friendship, we have to pay more before harvesting.

Love between friends, love between parents and children, and love among neighbors are the main theme of life; helping others and showing more love to others is the link that maintains people's happy life and a harmonious society. While being happy, you will also feel happy and shake your soul, which cannot be replaced by beautiful clothing and delicious food.Therefore, giving is the greatest thing, and those who learn to give will surely enjoy the enjoyment that others cannot.

(End of this chapter)