Smile is very alluring: the charming temperament you want most

Chapter 2 Self-cultivation, let your soul have fragrance (1)
—— Be a man with a noble character

The true charm of a woman must be reflected by a convincing inner temperament, which is self-cultivation.Self-cultivation is not innate, but requires long-term and serious cultivation.A well-educated woman is kind-hearted, tolerant and open-minded, caring about others with heart, not demanding, not caressing, and exuding a warm and warm human nature anytime and anywhere.Such a woman is like a secluded orchid, exuding noble temperament from her bones, exuding the fragrance of life...

Be a friendly "angel"

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Please give me time to understand when you give me an order, don't lose your temper with me, although I will certainly forgive you, your patience and understanding can make me learn faster.

—British actress Audrey Hepburn

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A devout believer, because he did a lot of good deeds during his lifetime, so after his death, God sent an angel to take him to heaven.This believer has always been curious about what hell looks like, so he asked the angel to take him to see what hell looks like before going to heaven.

The angel agreed to his request and took him to hell.After coming to Hell, I saw all kinds of delicacies from mountains and seas on the dining table in Hell, which looked very delicious.This made the believers very surprised, and sighed: "It seems that life in hell is not bad. Is it true that those wicked people who did bad things during their lifetime will be treated like this in hell and will not receive any punishment?"

The angel did not answer, but smiled slyly and said, "God loves each of us, and he will not take the initiative to punish anyone. Those who are punished are punished because of their own fault."

The believers were very puzzled.At this time, it was time for dinner, and I saw a group of hungry ghosts scrambling to sit on the seats, crazily grabbing the food on the table.Each of them took a pair of very long chopsticks and tried hard to use the chopsticks to deliver the food to their mouths, but because the chopsticks were too long, no matter how hard they tried, they still couldn't deliver the food to their mouths.

Pointing to the group of hungry ghosts, the angel said, "Look, although each of them can get food, they can't eat anything in the end. Don't you think it's a pity? Let's see what heaven looks like."

Subsequently, the angel took the believers to heaven.Heaven, like hell, is also filled with rich food, and the chopsticks used to pick up food are as long as those used by those hungry ghosts in hell.The difference is that people in heaven do not send food to their own mouths, but to others. In this way, while they are feeding others, others are also feeding themselves, and everyone can eat delicious food up.

The angel said: "This is the difference between heaven and hell. If you can help others and get help from others, then you will live in a happy paradise; Live in hell."

Indeed, in life, when others need our help, we also need help from others. Only when we help each other can our lives be more harmonious and beautiful.

Regarding being kind to others, Gibran said this: "You may forget the person who laughed with you; but you will never forget the person who cried with you." Our ancestors also warned people: "Gifts of roses, hand a fragrance."

However, in the consistent cognition of many people, only possession can make us feel happy and happy.And this is due to the selfish nature of human beings.

Selfishness is one of the bad roots of human beings. They are always stingy and reluctant to give what they have.Therefore, in the face of interests, many people do not appreciate the joy of giving.As a result, we become selfish and even greedy.

We always feel that we are not happy and happy enough, and we blindly complain that our efforts are not rewarded.As everyone knows, as long as we change our mentality, we can find a lot of happiness.

Nurse Li Xiaoling, who has been working in the hospital for 5 months, seldom smiles since she started working. The main reason is that she was transferred to the burn department.For girls, the burn department is simply a hell on earth. Those burnt patients are completely unrecognizable, as if they are devils who have escaped from hell, which is extremely terrifying.Facing those horrible and disgusting burned skin every day, Li Xiaoling even lost the appetite to eat, let alone smile.Therefore, Li Xiaoling felt depressed every day when she went to work, and her face was so long that everyone called her a "cold-faced nurse" behind her back.

But everyone found that today's Li Xiaoling was a bit unusual, because the depression on her face disappeared, there was a faint smile on the corner of her mouth, and even her walking was not as sluggish as before, but more brisk.Everyone has guessed, is she in love?

It turned out that Li Xiaoling's change was due to an incident that happened on the bus in the morning.

In the morning, Li Xiaoling prepared to take the bus to the hospital to go to work as usual.The bus came, and Li Xiaoling was about to step on the bus when a boy walking in front of her stopped and stood in embarrassment in front of the coin box and rummaged through his pockets and backpack.The people behind got into the car one after another, and the boy was still looking for the money in embarrassment.It can be seen from his anxious expression that he was probably too anxious to go out and carelessly forgot to bring his wallet.

A whole car of people focused their eyes on this careless boy, and some even snickered faintly. The boy was extremely embarrassed and didn't know what to do.Li Xiaoling was standing in front of the coin box, seeing the anxious look of the boy, she took out a coin from her wallet and gave it to the boy without saying a word.The boy hesitated, then gratefully took it and dropped it into the coin box.

The "saved" boy thanked Li Xiaoling repeatedly embarrassingly, and an old lady in the car couldn't help but praised Li Xiaoling: "There are still so many good people, this girl has a really good heart." After speaking, everyone in the car cheered for Li Xiaoling Come on.Li Xiaoling had never received such a compliment before, her face turned red to the base of her ears, and although she kept humbly saying that it was nothing, her heart was as sweet as honey.This is the happiest day she has been working in the past few months.

It was only then that Li Xiaoling discovered that giving others a little help can also reap such great happiness.When she came to the hospital, her happy mood continued, helping patients measure their body temperature, delivering medicines, helping them go to the toilet, etc. All these tasks that seemed boring and trivial to her before seemed to have become meaningful today .Because every time she helped them, Li Xiaoling would find that the patients gave her a grateful smile, which was warm and heart-warming, and made Li Xiaoling feel relieved and happy.

Since then, Li Xiaoling has changed.She no longer faces the patients with a cold face, but instead smiles sincerely and does her job well.In the eyes of colleagues and patients, the former "cold nurse" is gone, replaced by a gentle, amiable, beautiful and happy angel in white.

It can be seen that sometimes giving and giving is not necessarily bad. On the contrary, if we look at it from another angle, we can see the value and happiness in it.The reason why there are good stories about being helpful is because helping others is something that gives us a sense of accomplishment and pride, and this sense of accomplishment and pride can create happiness for us.

Therefore, don't always think about what you can get from others, but think more about what you can give to others.When others need our help, we should try our best to help sincerely.The more we help each other, the more happiness we get.Because there is more joy in giving than in receiving.

applaud for others, applaud for others

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Praise is a shrewd, covert, and artful form of flattery that satisfies both the giver and the recipient in different ways.

——François de La Rochefco, French classical writer
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When we strive to achieve a goal, we need to applaud ourselves and celebrate our success, which is affirmation of our performance.Similarly, when colleagues around us achieve achievements, especially when we are in a state of fierce competition with each other, we need to learn to applaud and applaud him sincerely.

Being able to do this shows that we can correctly view the achievements of the other party, can objectively affirm and accept the success of the other party, and feel happy for the success of others.However, many people are more "small-minded". It is easy to applaud themselves, but it is not easy to applaud others.In our lives, this phenomenon does exist.

Feng Jianxin has worked in a certain unit for more than ten years. She has a serious work attitude and good ability, but her popularity is not very good. The women in the unit often "isolate" her.According to conditions such as ability and seniority, Feng Jianxin may be promoted to a female cadre, but she was "decentralized". What's going on?
It turned out that in her usual work, whenever Feng Jianxin achieved some achievements and honors, she would always smile.However, once other colleagues have been affirmed by the leader and have made some progress, she will feel uneasy, nitpicking, and even dismissive, sneering: "What's good about her, she's just lucky", "Huh, there is something wrong with her." What a big deal." Gradually, everyone was unwilling to get along with Feng Jianxin.

This time, the unit had a target for promoting female cadres, and several qualified female colleagues wanted to compete for this spot, including Feng Jianxin.After a fierce "competition", a colleague achieved success. Feng Jianxin, who "failed", not only did not congratulate the colleague, but also reported various mistakes in the other party's usual work, making a big fuss without showing mercy.

After investigation and research, what Feng Jianxin said was groundless and false accusation.Colleagues who were usually ridiculed by Feng Jianxin had long been disgusted with what she did, so they united and asked the leader to transfer Feng Jianxin from his post.Although the leader recognized Feng Jianxin's usual work, he had to "reluctantly give up" and "delegate" her to the grassroots.

It is an unhealthy mentality not to recognize other people's achievements, not to applaud the success of others.If you let it go on, pick the bones in the egg, seize the weakness of others and make a big fuss without showing mercy, it will not only be unfair and disrespectful to others, but also cause interpersonal conflicts, and put yourself in complete opposition to others Get up, and as a result, you will become a loner who everyone hates, and the loss outweighs the gain.

At this point, we might as well ask ourselves: When faced with the success of others, what kind of mood do we have?Is it joy, plainness, or jealousy and hatred?Everyone has their own choices, but smart people know how to applaud others sincerely and frankly!

In human nature, there is a desire to be recognized and affirmed by others.If we can sincerely applaud others and share the happiness of others' success, then this is a kind of respect for others, a kind of understanding and recognition, a kind of encouragement and affirmation, which can promote each other better and faster. benign interaction.

When we applaud others sincerely, we can reflect and demonstrate our noble personality and broad-mindedness; when we give others sincere praise and encouragement, others will naturally increase their impression of us, and give you back Friendship and candor.

So, please let go of all your worries and applaud the success of others!This is not a matter of benefiting others alone, nor will it make you a "loser" lose face. Sharing success with others is joyful, and it is also winning "extra points" for yourself, gaining more Appreciate it!To do this, we must pay attention to the following two aspects.

1.have real emotion
We are all familiar with the word "truthful expression" and we all want to get this kind of emotion bestowed by others.In fact, when we applaud and cheer for others, the other party also needs us to have real feelings, and this kind of emotional expression comes from the heart, not just perfunctory politeness.Once we have the basis of "sincerity", then we will appear natural and sincere when we praise our colleagues, and will not give people a false and far-fetched feeling.

2.use the right words
As the saying goes: "Thousands of people have thousands of faces." This is especially true in the workplace environment.This requires us to use different praise languages ​​according to different personalities when we praise others.For example, when dealing with those introverted colleagues, the points of praise should be limited; when dealing with those lively and extroverted colleagues, don't be stingy with the words of praise. Praising the other party will make him very happy.At the same time, we should pay attention to observe the state of the other party. This is a very important point. If it happens that a colleague is particularly depressed or has other unsatisfactory things, then we should not praise them too much, otherwise it will only make the other party feel uncomfortable. reality.

A famous entrepreneur said that the best way to promote people's ability to develop to the limit is to appreciate and encourage.In other words, if we want to establish a good relationship with others, we need to find out more about the strengths and achievements of others, instead of just focusing on our own achievements.

Of course, our compliments to others are not unprincipled. It should be a sincere expression from the heart, not flattery.In short, sincerely and skillfully praising others will not only increase their goodwill towards us, but also bring convenience to our own life, making each other feel happy and relaxed, and getting along is also very easy.

It's better for a woman to be humble
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A humble man becomes noble.

— Italian painter Leonardo da Vinci

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Lao Tzu, the founder of the Taoist school, said: "Water is good for all things without fighting, and is what everyone hates, so it is more than Tao." This sentence expresses the humility of water and the highest state of humility.

However, many people in the workplace believe that if they want to secure their positions and advance step by step, they must highlight their abilities as much as possible in their work.Therefore, some people will always be competitive in their work, and they will not be able to finish without comparing others.However, they did not expect that this kind of self-expression and sharp-edged approach will only arouse the disgust of colleagues, and at the same time bring a lot of pressure to themselves.

It is also understandable if you occasionally show your knowledge, "show off" your talents, and show off a little "excellence".But if a person always deliberately shows off his abilities, it is likely to go in the opposite direction of things.

Wei Yanhua graduated from a key university majoring in economics and trade. Not only can he speak foreign languages ​​fluently, he is also slender and handsome.Whenever Wei Yanhua was negotiating with foreign businessmen, Wei Yanhua could handle it with ease, and her colleagues praised her and envied her unceasingly.

In comparison, her immediate boss - Gu Ran is much inferior to her.Gu Ran is 40 years old, with a bloated body, and does not have Wei Yanhua's beauty and youth. Naturally, she has no foreign language proficiency with a technical secondary school education. Gao, so he was trusted by the boss of the company and served as a department manager.

When Wei Yanhua first joined the company, Gu Ran took good care of her, but at a party to discuss business with foreign businessmen, Wei Yanhua stole the limelight, proudly conversing with foreign businessmen in English, toasting frequently, fully Show your nobility and beauty.Afterwards, Wei Yanhua tried to claim credit for the leader through her performance that day. She took the initiative to find the manager and said: "As a talented student who graduated from a key university, my English level is considered very high in the company. I must have talked with foreign businessmen that day. You have also seen the situation. So I think, should the company consider promoting my position or giving me a salary increase?" However, the actual situation is that not long after this incident, Wei Yanhua was transferred to another Too important a department.

(End of this chapter)