Smile is very alluring: the charming temperament you want most

Chapter 23 Don't be vain, I like the long stream of water (3)
Perhaps, it all comes from money.She was not the kind of woman who valued money very much, and she always felt that her life was happy.But after getting married and wanting to have children, she had to think about whether she and her husband could bear the financial pressure.So, when others were showing off her husband's promotion, talking about who got a new car, and who started a company again, she became less calm.Over time, she will inevitably complain to her husband, saying that he is unknown in the work unit and cannot let her buy famous brands, complaining that life is boring, the expenses are so high, and life is too hard.

At first, the husband felt a little "owed" to her for not being able to give her a better life.But gradually, he also became indifferent.There are fewer and fewer speculations between the two, but the number of quarrels is increasing.Husband said she had changed, become worldly and snobbish.Facing her husband's accusations, she was even more angry.Finally one day, after the two quarreled, she slammed the door and left.

That day, it was raining lightly outside, and she was wandering on the street alone, looking at the couple you and I were in the drizzle, she felt an unspeakable pain in her heart.She hid under the eaves of a store and watched the traffic in the rain.A young couple stood next to her, cuddling each other. The boy put his clothes on the girl, and they held an old umbrella together. The girl looked happy.They are inconspicuous in this city, and even look a little "down and down", but the smiles on their faces cannot conceal their inner satisfaction with life.

She thought that many years ago, she had such a warm picture with her husband, and she also sat on the back seat of his bicycle and laughed happily.Life at that time was not as good as it is now. The two rented a room and earned just enough money to live on, but they were close to each other, and their hearts were so tightly attached.Now, why don't you know that you are satisfied?

The rain stopped, and the song "People with Stories" by Emil Chow came out in the store: "We love to remember more and more, is it because we dare not look forward to the future? You say that the world seems to be collapsing every day, so we can only bend over Bow your head and make your dreams smaller and smaller... Even if there are some troubles and helplessness, at least we have the happiness of suffering together, every time when love comes to an end, the past scenes will hug us." She turned around and went to the vegetable market, I bought a lot of dishes that my husband likes to eat.

The husband was very happy to see her returning home with vegetables, but he didn't say much.She was busy in the kitchen and quickly cooked a table of dishes.She gently asked her husband to eat, looking at the scene in front of her, before she could speak, her husband said: "I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I shouldn't blame you."

After she listened, tears fell down.No matter what I did wrong, there is a person who tolerates me so much and spends my whole life with him. What else can I complain about?There is someone who loves each other, and a warm home. Money can’t buy these things. Since you have them, you should cherish them.Such an ordinary and real life is the most real appearance of life and the happiest life.

Living in a secular and busy city, it is unavoidable to be affected by the surrounding environment and personnel.Women's minds are delicate and sensitive, and they are more easily influenced by others. They may not pursue that kind of life in their hearts, but they work hard for that kind of life unconsciously, and unconsciously enter the state that others have.In the end, I found that no matter how much I have, it is not as real as the original ordinary life.

Guard your own happiness with peace of mind, don't watch or listen too much, the happiness of others has nothing to do with you after all.What you have now is the best because they are within your reach.

Of course, some women are indeed worthy of our envy, but you must realize that there is no perfection in this world, and those women who we envy are also suffering from their unsatisfactory.We know that the vanity nature of a woman often makes her show her beautiful side to others, but who can really see the back of other people's beauty?The so-called "everyone has a hard-to-recite scripture" is exactly this truth.

Everything is like a coin, if there is a positive side, there must be a negative side.Life is no exception, it is fair, what you get, you have to pay in another way.When you envy other men's high income and fame, you might as well think of him working overtime all night, thinking all night, running around non-stop, and his woman has to guard the house alone, feeling sad... Isn't it?

Differences between people will always exist, and everyone's situation and opportunity are different. Comparing or being compared is not the right way to find this beautiful life.Never blindly envy others. When you learn not to compare him with others and know how to cherish and treat him well, he will feel your respect and appreciation for him, and he will be more aware of his direction and goals.As a result, emotions continue to sublimate, love has new vitality, marriage has new passion, and life has new hope, and you will always be confident and radiant.

It's rare to be confused, happiness doesn't need to be too smart
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Only by knowing each other can we not be suspicious; only by not being suspicious can we know each other by long.

——Cao Yu, a modern Chinese dramatist
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In 2011, there was a movie called "If You Are the One" in the Lunar New Year file, and a line in it became a "famous saying and aphorism" for a while.This sentence is like this: "No matter how you choose marriage, it is wrong, and a long-term marriage is to make mistakes." It can be said that this sentence describes marriage to the point of penetrating three points.

If Mr. Qian Zhongshu's "Fortress Besieged" clearly revealed the truth of marriage, then Feng Xiaogang's "Wrong is wrong" interprets the essence of marriage in a ridiculous manner. The "wrong" here should be synonymous with forbearance and compromise. , in layman's terms, should belong to the category of "playing stupid".

In the final analysis, pretending to be stupid in marriage is essentially to make mistakes, to be tolerant.In a marriage, the husband and wife have to face the ups and downs of life together. Raising children and living an ordinary life in the trivial parents is better than all the vows.Some people say that you need to keep your eyes wide open before marriage, but you only need to open one eye and close one eye after marriage.The so-called closing one eye is probably "playing stupid"!

In fact, everything has its ambiguity, and marriage is no exception.If it is too serious, it will naturally cause small cracks in the marriage.As the days passed, the gaps became bigger and bigger, so that it was impossible to repair them, and it was too late to regret.

However, some people are still good at calculating, whether in social interactions outside or in big and small things at home.If one meets such a companion, we can only sympathize with him.Because it is not difficult to imagine that a person who is too serious all the time will invisibly bring a lot of pressure to the people around him, making him resentful and at a loss as to what to do.

On the contrary, if you can properly maintain a sense of "stupidness" in your marriage, don't worry about it, and don't go to the bottom line, then in this relaxed atmosphere, no matter which side of the couple will be more comfortable, and at the same time will not be strangled because of being strangled. Too tight and go to "extreme".

On Sunday, Yan Jiefei ran into Xiao Jieping, a close friend of her boudoir, on the street.Xiao Jieping said that she and her husband couldn't get along anymore and planned to divorce.Yan Jiefei was very surprised. In the past, Xiao Jieping always talked about her husband's love, which made her sisters envious, but why did she get divorced now?Yan Jiefei asked Xiao Jieping why, Xiao Jieping said with tears in his eyes, very wronged: "I treat him so well, but he has no conscience. I treat him like I am serving my son. I bought all his clothes by myself. I made his breakfast and dinner by myself. I have paid so much for this family, but he lied to me and deliberately concealed his whereabouts. In the end, I found out that he even said that I was sick and suspicious. Heavy, that's not counting, he obviously has more than 200 yuan in his pocket, but he won't admit it the next day, this life is really impossible..."

Seeing Xiao Jieping full of resentment, Yan Jiefei felt uneasy about her marriage and also noticed that her best friend was "too shrewd". She comforted Xiao Jieping earnestly and said, "Have you ever thought about how a man can be Would you like a woman who supervises him all the time, or would you like a woman who knows how to "play stupid" at the right time? In fact, a woman's tolerance will make a man feel safe, and sometimes, giving in is for better defense. The reason why your marriage has come to the brink is probably because you don’t know how to be flexible, and you don’t know how to adjust your mentality properly. Just imagine, what is more than 200 yuan compared to marriage?”

After hearing these words, Xiao Jieping stared at her eyes, and after a brief moment of daze, he let out a long breath.She seems to have clearly realized where her marital problems lie...

In marriage, some places are fragile and sensitive, one step further will be full of mountains and rivers, and one step back will be the sea and the sky.Married life is full of trivial matters, and there is no standard for judging who is right and who is wrong.Then, in the face of these trivial matters, you only need to open or close one eye. This will leave a little room for the other party, and it is the best protection for yourself and the other half.Therefore, smart women know how to play dumb.

Tolerance is a kind of accomplishment. A person's temperament, character, education and experience will affect the degree and quality of tolerance.Therefore, it can be said that tolerance is the embodiment of maturity and forbearance. It is a human nature. Without this nature, tolerance becomes a traffic violation video. It is too hard to watch every day, and it is not easy for people to find out.

A smart woman understands that when the water is clear, there will be no fish. She will not explore everything clearly, even if she is born with a pair of piercing eyes, which can understand the world.Look at Wang Xifeng, what will happen to her?In the end, it is not as wise as Qin's Heping'er.Try playing stupid in small things, maybe you will fall in love with the way of "playing stupid", because this way is only a few steps away from happiness.

Women's minds are naturally meticulous, and many women are proud of their strong sixth sense and keen insight. They are not tolerant of life, and they are "strictly disciplined" towards their husbands, showing great concern for their husband's every move.When she feels that her husband is hiding something, she will deliberately investigate the other's secrets, and let herself live in a circle of suspicion, pain, and contradictions; Unscrupulous words hurt people.When her husband promised her that "the house problem will be solved soon", she went to her husband's unit to "investigate" the next day, and then said sarcastically, "Don't have illusions, there is no place for you in the house allocation." "; when her husband promised to take her to travel abroad, she poured cold water on her and said, "The money you earn is not enough for us to travel for a year without food or drink"...

Such women may be shrewd and capable, but they lack a little silly cuteness and a little silly romance.

Zheng Banqiao, one of the Eight Eccentrics of Yangzhou, said: "It's hard to be smart, but it's hard to be confused, and it's even harder to go from smart to stupid."The "confused" here does not mean right and wrong, but a kind of confusion after the sublimation of intelligence.

When a woman understands the art of being confused, she has a kind of generous self-restraint, and being confused in a timely manner becomes a kind of wisdom that is well known and calm, and a kind of tolerant attitude towards life.

(End of this chapter)