Smile is very alluring: the charming temperament you want most

Chapter 16 The blend of rationality and sensibility is just right (2)
In addition, a woman with a bad temper will often get angry. Although she herself knows that this is wrong, she can't control herself when her temper comes up. Such a person needs to find a supervisor.Once there is a sign of anger, the supervisor should immediately give a hint or stop it.It is best to let the person closest to you do this supervisor's job.This method is most effective for female friends who are determined to control their anger but lack self-control.

4.language conditioning

Anger can be reduced through words, even silent words can relieve it. For example, put a sign with the words "control anger" or "forbearance" on your desk, bedroom, living room and other places you frequent. Motto or artwork, always remind yourself not to lose your temper.Lin Zexu, a famous national hero, used this method to hang a banner with the word "restraining anger" on the wall of his study. This method is a good way to control emotions and dispel anger.

5.diet adjustment
The effect of diet on mood and temper cannot be underestimated.To effectively control emotions and reduce anger, eat less meat and eat more whole grains, vegetables and fruits, because meat reduces tryptophan in the brain, and eating a lot of meat will make people more and more irritable.Keeping a light diet can make the mood more peaceful.It should also be noted that when the temperature exceeds 35°C, the discharge of a large amount of sweat will cause blood viscosity to increase, and it will also make people irritable. Drinking more water can dilute the blood and calm the mood.

The famous sketch actor Guo Donglin once described impulsivity in one of his sketches: "Impulse is the devil, impulse is the gunpowder in the bomb, impulse is a pair of handcuffs, a pair of shackles, impulse is an inexhaustible medicine for regret." It seems that the "lethal power" of impulsiveness should not be underestimated. I believe that female friends who want to practice to become attractive women are not willing to have anything to do with these "gunpowder", "handcuffs and shackles", "regret medicine" and the like .

Therefore, in real life, beauties must beware of the devil of "impulse", consciously control their emotions, and stay away from the invasion of anger.

Humor, one of the charms of women
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I believe a sense of humor is also an integral part of charisma.With a sense of humor, people can exchange ideas and opinions with each other in a very harmonious atmosphere.Without a sense of humor, life becomes very monotonous and boring.

—Sophia Loren, Italy

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As a way of expression, humor is deeply loved by people.Especially in today's society, almost everyone likes humor, yearns for humor, and pursues humor.In fact, humor is very unique in our daily life; humor is often a manifestation of knowledge and cultivation, and it is a kind of elegant demeanor.We can observe that most of those women with profound knowledge, outstanding eloquence, and quick thinking are people with humor genes.Because they pay great attention to interesting things, know the occasions for joking, and are good at making different jokes according to different people and things, creating a relaxed and harmonious atmosphere for people, and then getting rid of embarrassment and predicament.

Some people may think that, as an attitude towards life, humor is actually dispensable, far from being indispensable.But you know, humor will add a lot to our otherwise plain life.

Not only that, humor, as a rare temperament for women, makes it easier for them to win the favor of men.

Humor is more likely to attract the opposite sex than good looks, because no one will refuse to be relaxed and happy.A woman who is good at understanding humor can easily see through others and then understand others; a woman who is good at expressing humor is easy to be liked by others.

In fact, not only in life, but also in social interactions, humorous women are often more attractive.As one writer said: "Because humor is a kind of real wisdom in life, and it is a positive and optimistic attitude towards life that is maintained after going through all kinds of experiences in society and experiencing all kinds of ups and downs."

Women who are good at dealing with people in a humorous way are undoubtedly super intelligent. They always maintain a confident and optimistic attitude towards life, exuding their unique charm in relaxed words; at the same time, humorous women are also Open-minded, they will not shrink back because of a little difficulty, they are always so positive, optimistic and cheerful.

It has to be said that a woman who is good at showing a sense of humor in conversation is lovely. Her witty conversation and cute expression will make everyone who talks to her happy, and will leave a deep impression on people. impression.Such a woman is bound to stand out from the crowd and become a popular figure that people often mention.Although you are cheerful and generous, you are very talkative, but you lack the art of humor, so you might as well add some humorous seasonings to your conversation, and add some wonderful fragments to your conversation content; although you are introverted, you are not talkative, but if you As soon as he uttered a series of humorous sentences, it might be difficult not to impress others!

Since humor is so important and "charming", how can we cultivate our own sense of humor?

To put it simply, if a woman wants to develop a sense of humor, it needs to be based on certain cultural knowledge and ideological cultivation.Therefore, in order to have a sense of humor, it is essential to have a wide range of knowledge.In addition, we can also gradually develop a sense of humor by learning the ways and methods of those witty and funny people to make jokes.As for those women who are more introverted and do things too seriously and rigidly, learn to appreciate other people's humor, try to make yourself relaxed, free and easy, and lively in the social process, and find ways to speak witty, tactful, and funny.Of course, we may feel uncomfortable when we first try it, but as long as we practice it frankly and openly in communication, our sense of humor will become comfortable, and it will often arise spontaneously, making communication more interesting.

Another point to be reminded is that when using humor, the expression must be natural and relaxed. Only in this way can you "infect" everyone around you with the relaxed atmosphere of humor.

A humorous life is full of infinite fun.Therefore, beauties who want to be the center of attention should learn and be good at using humor, which will make our social life richer, more lively and happier.

Be forgiving and forgiving, showing the beauty of the atmosphere
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Right and wrong are liberated by not arguing, patience is wisdom for troubles, and meritorious service is done by doing our best.

— Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore
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"What do you mean, you can't leave unless you speak clearly!" "Who are you talking about? Do you have someone to tell you?"

We occasionally hear words like this in our lives. Many women often fight over trivial matters, ranging from scolding others, to swearing, and even punching and kicking.In the end, not only did both sides suffer, but they also damaged their female demeanor and lost their image.

In fact, if you can be less fussy and more tolerant and magnanimous, you may suffer a little loss for a while, but you will not let yourself be too annoyed by these things, and you will not let your lady image be lost in front of outsiders. .

If a stingy woman is like a dry and stubborn branch, then a generous woman is like a flower that blooms calmly.A stingy woman is silent, while a generous woman can leisurely walk in the world, laughing at all kinds of life.

Let's look at a story that happened in the United States:
Emerin was a firefighter, unfortunately, he died in a fire rescue.After the investigation of the accident was clear, it was concluded that two homeless teenagers deliberately set fire to cause the disaster.

The news is shocking and outrageous.The citizens of the city and the mayor of the city said that the two arsonists should be severely punished.However, Emerin's mother said in a televised speech: "My son's sudden departure makes me very sad, but I just want to say a few words to the two children who caused the disaster-you must live now." It is very bad, and it is very likely that life is worse than death. As the most qualified to condemn you in this world, I just want to say at this moment, please go home, there are parents waiting for you at home. As long as you do this, I will and God forgives you together..."

This remark stunned everyone in front of the TV. No one could have imagined that a mother who lost her beloved son could forgive the two criminals so tolerantly.

In fact, before that, the two children bought a lot of sleeping pills because they couldn't bear the huge pressure of public opinion, and they were going to leave this world together.But at this moment, they heard the voice of this tolerant mother on TV, they burst into tears, and then surrendered to the police station.

Time flies and times have changed. The two reckless teenagers at the time have now married and established businesses. As fathers, they have both achieved impressive achievements in their careers.

The two of them will often take their children to visit Emerlin's mother, because in their hearts, she is the god of their own hearts.It was her tolerance and forgiveness that made her realize the responsibilities she should bear as a human being and the moral norms she should abide by.

At that time, if the mother had not made such a televised speech, but insisted that the two children would be severely punished, then they would have no chance to be a new life, and the mother would always be immersed in the pain of bereavement, lonely. spend the rest of my life.

After reading this story, we have to be shocked by this tolerant mother!At the same time, I was deeply grateful for the sorrow of the two reckless teenagers.

There is a saying in China: "If you make people feel weaker than you, then you will be lenient when you step back." This statement is very reasonable.Living in this complex society, people will inevitably encounter disputes of one kind or another, which is normal.However, what is rare is that when we are unreasonable, we can not "make progress", but also treat others with tolerance and generosity, give in with reason, and repay grievances with virtue.

There is a poem that goes: "A horse treads on the hooves of flowers and plants to leave fragrance." It means that when flowers and plants are trampled by horseshoes, not only do they not resent, but instead leave the fragrance to the horseshoes.Wang Anshi once wrote in a poem: "The wind blows the tiles on the eaves, and the tiles fall on my head; I don't hate this tile, but this tile is not free." It means that it is not its intention that the tile fall down and hit someone else's head. Why should we resent it?

So, learn to be a tolerant woman!A tolerant woman is good at putting herself in the shoes of others, respecting others, accommodating others with her open mind, and forgiving others for hurting herself.Such a woman knows how to grasp the happiness in life, and will not give up a happy life because of her persistence in some things.

Take a step back and you will find the sea and the sky
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People's hearts are not conquered by force, but by love and tolerance.

—Dutch philosopher Baruch Spinoza

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When interacting with people, there will always be some friction or conflict.In the face of these unhappiness, people have different ways of dealing with problems.If a person is open-minded and knows how to tolerate and forgive others, then the world in her eyes will always be sunny and positive.On the contrary, if a person is always narrow-minded, likes to care about others, and is tit for tat in everything, it will easily hurt the other party and make friends leave you. It will be difficult to find someone to help you when you have difficulties in the future.

We have to admit that each of us has our own unique personality, which is also one of the distinguishing characteristics of a person from others.Your personality will inevitably clash with others.No matter how easy-going you are, there will always be people who will give you a hard time.

But let's not forget the saying, "The ruler is short, and the inch is long." Although people have different personalities, as long as we can seek common ground while reserving differences, understand each other, and don't blame each other, then we can cooperate with each other and smoothly move problem solved.

There is such a myth and legend.A hero named Hercules, when he was walking on a rugged mountain road, found a bulging bag in the middle of the road.He felt that the bulging bag in the middle of the road would hinder pedestrians from walking.So he raised his foot and stomped hard on the bag.What Hercules didn't expect was that, instead of being crushed, the bag became more and more inflated.Hercules was enraged, he picked up a big wooden stick, and hit the bag with all his might, and the bag began to double in size until finally the whole road was blocked.

Seeing this scene, Hercules was both sad and helpless.When he was frowning, a saint appeared behind Hercules.The holy man said to Hercules with a pleasant face: "Young man, stop now! Stay away from it! This bag is called a hate bag, and if you don't mess with it, it will shrink to the same size as when you first saw it. .If you keep violating it, it will grow bigger and bigger, and at that point, you will never be able to get through it."

Looking back at us in reality, will we also make mistakes like Hercules in the story?When encountering conflicts, I always don’t want to suffer for myself, but push the other side step by step, thinking that if I give in first, it will be a sign of loss of face and no dignity.And doing so will only lead to the constant intensification and escalation of conflicts, and finally get out of hand.

In fact, we need to understand that concession and tolerance will not make us lose our dignity.On the contrary, it is precisely a manifestation of open-mindedness, maturity and rationality.Temporary concessions can not only avoid deepening conflicts, but also gain respect and gratitude from others.Hostility and hatred are like an ever-growing wall, while tolerance and concession are like an ever-widening road.We must learn to tolerate others, treat grievances and grievances kindly, and learn to respect those we dislike.Because forgiving others is forgiving ourselves. While forgiving others, we also create a peaceful state of mind for ourselves.

It is undeniable that many disasters are caused by small things.If you can't tolerate others in small things, and care about everything, then disasters will come immediately; if you can tolerate others in small things, regardless of gains and losses, disasters will naturally not come to you.

Therefore, we might as well treat our enemies, enemies, and opponents with tolerance, and focus on the overall situation when it comes to non-principle issues.If so, we will get the joy of taking a step back to broaden the sea and the sky, the joy of turning hostility into friendship, and the joy of mutual understanding between people.You must know that in this world, we do not walk alone. In the face of the hustle and bustle in life and work, collisions are inevitable, so even the kindest people will inevitably hurt others. Not only does it not hurt the heart, but it also binds the injured person to the endless quarrel chariot.

In fact, in retrospect, we often look less seriously at our own mistakes than at the mistakes of others.As the German theologian Kempis said: "We seldom weigh our neighbors with the same scale."

(End of this chapter)