Smile is very alluring: the charming temperament you want most

Chapter 15 The blend of rationality and sensibility is just right (1)
——Discipline yourself with a rational thinking
Intellectuality is also a manifestation of personal temperament. Women are emotional, but intellectual women have a unique kind of intelligence, which can knead sensibility and rationality just right. For example, they can settle their minds and manage their emotions; Moderation is the truth; they are humorous and can handle conflicts and disputes skillfully...all of these, once you achieve a degree of relaxation, the temperament will be fully revealed.

Control yourself, don't be a "slave" of bad emotions

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A person who can control his emotions is greater than a general who can win a city.

——French military strategist and statesman Napoleon

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"It's hard to find a friend a thousand miles away, and it's easier to travel when you have more friends."Indeed, friendship is very precious to everyone. Only with friends can our road of life become wider and wider.Some people say that "people without friends are like life without the sun", which also expresses the indispensability of friendship for people.

However, we often lose our temper in front of our friends because we cannot control our emotions because of some trivial matters.As everyone knows, this kind of bad mood is likely to make people who could have become friends stay away from us, and make people who are already our friends drift away.

This kind of selfish behavior that transfers the pressure and pain that one bears to others may be able to vent one's pent-up bad emotions and achieve one's own psychological balance in the short term; but in the long run, it is harmful but not beneficial .Therefore, friends must be moderate and appropriate when venting their emotions, and never spread bad emotions to others, so as not to cause worse results.

If a person can control his emotions and not vent them easily, then he will gain true friendship and inner peace at the same time.

But in real life, very few people can do this.In dealing with others, once you are in a bad mood, you will vent it regardless of the situation.As everyone knows, unhealthy venting of bad emotions will seriously affect the friendly communication between people and the harmony of the family. It is a "cancer" that invades interpersonal relationships, and the ultimate victim is not others but yourself.

As the Chinese writers said: If a person sees his own situation clearly and knows which situations must be endured and are unavoidable, he must find a way to make himself endure more pleasantly and meaningfully.That is to say, you have to control and control your emotions, and you cannot let your emotions dominate, control, or even destroy you.A healthy and happy life comes from a brave and enterprising attitude towards life. People who only curse life will never taste the joy of life.

We often hear such a saying: "Nine out of ten unsatisfactory things in life." When a person encounters unsatisfactory and unsatisfactory things, it is perfectly normal to have emotional reactions, because each of us is a flesh-and-blood individual, There are seven emotions and six desires, and it is impossible to ask yourself or others to be like a piece of wood, indifferent and emotionless.

However, a large number of people never consider the feelings of others when venting their emotions, as if everything will be fine after they have vented heartily, and it is none of their business who will clean up the mess they left behind.And the ultimate end of this approach will only be like the situation mentioned above, which will harm others and harm yourself.

So, when bad emotions hit us, how can we adjust and how to vent our emotions without affecting our interpersonal relationships?Here, we introduce to you a few small coups that can help you achieve this goal.

1.Find out why you are in a bad mood, and then resolve this bad mood calmly. As the saying goes: "The person who untied the bell must tie the bell." It is necessary to calm down and analyze carefully, and find out the cause of this bad mood, and figure out why you are depressed, entangled or angry.

After finding the crux of the problem, then seek appropriate methods and approaches to solve it. For example, if you are upset because of lack of sleep (medical experts have found that lack of sleep has a great impact on our emotions) ), then you should work and rest normally and supplement your sleep.

If you can't find the reason, it means that you may be in a "low tide" or "dangerous period" of emotion, and you will get better after a while, so you don't need to be too anxious.

2.close your eyes and relax
Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath is a good way to relax yourself. It can not only promote the exchange of oxygen between the human body and the outside world, but also slow down the heartbeat, keep calm, and relieve the emotional reaction that is about to erupt.

When you have anger, tension, fear and other bad emotions in your heart, you can use this method to relieve them. During this process, your brain can also imagine some beautiful things or pleasant situations you have experienced, which is conducive to relaxation. Feeling.

3.Find suitable channels to vent bad emotions
If bad emotions are always suppressed in the heart and not vented, it will be very detrimental to physical and mental health.

Of course, the venting of emotions should be moderate and not excessive.For example, when encountering a sad thing, holding back tears is harmful to physical and mental health (tears can expel harmful substances in the body and relieve such bad emotions), but if you cry uncontrollably, then It is of no use to anyone.

Therefore, when venting one's emotions, one must grasp one's sense of propriety, choose the appropriate object, time, occasion and method of venting, and avoid harming innocent people and affecting one's normal interpersonal communication.

4.Keep your mouth shut and don't just pour out your own bitterness
Some people have such a habit, as long as they have a little trouble, they will find someone to pour out their bitterness and chatter endlessly, regardless of whether the other party is willing to listen or not.After venting, I felt better, so I put others aside and didn't consider other people's feelings.I believe that the popularity of this kind of person must not be much better, and it will even cause many people to be bored.

If you don’t want to be such a person, I suggest that you don’t keep pouring out bitterness when you see people, or find a suitable person to talk about, or take other feasible methods to regulate yourself.

5.Divert attention and let bad emotions disappear "actively"

Psychology-related research shows that when people react emotionally, a relatively strong excitement point will be generated in their minds. If one or several new excitement points are established, they can dilute or offset the previous excitement center.Therefore, when we find bad signs of bad emotions, we might as well ignore it for the time being, and let ourselves shift our attention to other more meaningful things, such as watching a pleasant movie, doing what we like most Exercise, listen to soothing music, and read a worthwhile book.These are all good ways to divert attention.

We believe that if we can remember the above 5 points and use one of them when bad emotions attack us, it is possible to let the bad emotions go away, so that we can have a harmonious and stable life.

Don't let the anger fail Chunhuaqiuyue

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Whoever cannot restrain himself is forever a slave.

——German thinker Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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For an attractive woman, she must learn to control her emotions and restrain her anger.Just imagine, what elegance can there be for a woman who is always out of control, hysterical and hysterical?
However, in real life, there are always some "impulsive" women who will get angry and furious because of some trivial things.This kind of behavior is obviously not advisable. "Get angry" will not only affect one's mood and life, but also damage one's own image and reduce others' evaluation of oneself.

It is written in a book: "Hysteria, this is an extremely negative emotion common among women. In the face of painful blows and abnormalities, women often have a hysterical emotion, which is also a special feature in women's genes. When it erupts, the rage and resentment pours out like a tide, it’s a near-apocalyptic emotion, and that feeling is very close to death at times.”

"Ding Lingling..." Amidst the crisp alarm, Liang Xin started her busy day again.After quickly finishing all procedures such as washing and makeup, Liang Xin is ready to go out to meet the first battle of the day - squeezing the bus!

There are so many people on the bus, shoulder to shoulder.The car was driving fast on the road, and suddenly the driver slammed on the brakes, and the passengers in the car rushed forward due to inertia, and there was a surge in the car.Wearing high heels, Liang Xin couldn't stand firmly, and staggered and fell on the female passenger in front. The female passenger immediately showed an extremely disgusted expression, pushed Liang Xin hard with her elbow, and spoke rudely to Liang Xin. Said: "Oh, what a squeeze! It's so annoying!" Liang Xin was furious when she saw the situation, and replied in a very aggressive tone: "You think I want to squeeze you, cut, don't look at your virtue Sex." "Then don't squeeze if you have the ability, shameless!" The female passenger was obviously also angry and showed no sign of weakness.After bumping back and forth like this for a few rounds, the female passenger finally got off at the station, and when she got off the bus, she scornfully tossed at Liang Xin: "What quality, I'm too lazy to tell you! "

The more Liang Xin thought about it, the more angry she became, and she kept cursing that "dead woman" in her heart.As a result, the whole day was spent in depression.

Perhaps we have seen this phenomenon before, and even some friends have experienced it personally.Why do things like this happen over and over again?The answer is that most of us don't know how to control our emotions.

In life, there will always be unsatisfactory things of one kind or another. There are too many people and facts that you can't get used to. Being misunderstood, slandered, and even being plotted secretly also happens from time to time.If we don't learn to control our emotions, but lose our temper at every turn, or retaliate with revenge, we will only make ourselves unhappy like Liang Xin, and even hurt both sides. It is really not a wise move.

Lolita was once one of the hottest female stars in the film industry, and she has performed many classic works.On the screen, Lolita is gentle, gentle and pleasant, and has conquered a large number of audiences with her superb acting skills. Therefore, there are not a few fanatical fans of her.

Once off camera, however, Lolita is a different person entirely.In real life, Lolita often loses control of her emotions, always getting mad and losing her temper because of some trivial things, like a violent lion.

Although actors with personality are more popular and sought after by the audience, actors like Lolita who cannot control their emotions, are prone to anger, and lose their temper are rare. Almost no one can resist her violent temper. Even the directors and colleagues who often work with her also admitted that Lolita sometimes loses her temper because of small things on the set, which hinders the progress of filming and affects the relationship with her co-stars.

Lolita's fiery temper is well known in the film industry. As early as 24 years old, she was fired after she had a serious dispute with another actor on the set and refused to apologize to the other party.

Not long after, Lolita made a fuss on the set because of a disagreement with a producer on the line, and abused and threatened the other party with swear words.In Lolita's life, there are many things like this, such as scolding her agent in public due to a misunderstanding, quarreling with the hotel staff in the hotel where she stayed because of some trivial matters, etc. .

Another time, Lolita won the best actress award at an international film festival.After receiving the award, she was so excited that she sang a poem when she gave her speech on the spot, but this video was deleted by some media when it was broadcast.Lolita was very angry when she heard the news. She yelled at the media and lost her temper severely.

Although Lolita later publicly apologized for her rude and reckless behavior, she was not forgiven by everyone. They thought that although Lolita had excellent acting skills, her fiery temper was unacceptable, so it was finally cancelled. her eligibility for the award.

Shortly thereafter, when competing for the best actress in another international film festival, Lolita was considered to be very likely to win the crown again. However, many people were skeptical. They believed that it was impossible for Lolita to win the best actress award. Of course, this is not because of her acting skills, but because of her irritable personality and irritable habits.When the winners were announced, Lolita didn't win the race, as the skeptics said.

Lolita's personal experience tells us that when encountering unsatisfactory or unsatisfactory things, getting angry and crazy will not solve any problems, but will make things worse.Moreover, people who often lose control of their emotions and get angry easily will leave a very bad impression on others, which is not conducive to the display of charm.

Because of her irritable temper, Lolita got into disputes again and again, and even got into a lawsuit, which brought endless troubles to herself, and because of her irritable habits, it affected her career, and finally missed the best actress .It was quick for a while, but it brought endless troubles, why bother?It can be seen that anger is infinitely destructive.

So, how should we control our emotions and restrain our anger?Here, we introduce the following methods to control emotions and restrain anger.If you, or your friends around you, have the habit of losing control of your emotions and getting angry easily, you might as well give it a try.

1.cognitive assessment
A woman with a mature and sound mind can effectively control her emotions and will never get angry easily.From their point of view, there are very few things that make them fly into a rage; the same is not true of emotionally out-of-control, irritable female friends, who are prone to tantrums over small things.Therefore, in order to control emotions and restrain anger, female friends must first start with improving their tolerance to external stimuli and objectively understanding external stimuli.

(1) Recall your past behavior and the reasons for your anger, and think carefully about whether it is worthwhile for you to be angry.In the process, you will find that the things that made you angry at the beginning are not worth mentioning at all, and sometimes you even make trouble for no reason at all.

If you give yourself a few seconds to calm down before getting angry, and think about whether the object and reason of anger are worth your anger, I believe that you will lose control of your emotions and the number of times you get angry will be significantly reduced before long.

(2) Don't magnify the seriousness of the matter.With a little attention, we will find that those female friends who are irritable are extremely sensitive, they will take care of trivial things, and they will worry about a casual word from others for a long time, always thinking about things in a bad way , As a result, the more you think about it, the more angry you become, and eventually lead to emotional loss.

In this regard, it is recommended that irritable female friends should take a deep breath when they are angry, count a few times silently, relax their body and mind, and try to downplay the seriousness of the matter to avoid confrontation; When the time comes, look back and think about whether it is necessary to be angry.

2.Consequence Design
Fully realize the negative consequences of anger.Anger not only affects normal interpersonal communication, but also may cause cardiovascular disorders, causing symptoms such as arrhythmia, coronary heart disease, and high blood pressure. In severe cases, it may also lead to cerebral thrombosis, high blood pressure, and myocardial infarction.So, dear female friends, when you are about to get angry, you might as well think about the great harm it can do to your body and mind.

3.energy transfer method
Anger is like a kind of energy. If it is not controlled in time, it is likely to flood; if it is controlled a little, its destructiveness will be greatly reduced; if it is controlled reasonably, it may even be beneficial.

When you are angry, you can go out to participate in some stimulating sports, or watch a movie, even going for a walk will also play a role in dispelling anger.

(End of this chapter)