Be a Strong Woman: Carnegie's Book of Spiritual Growth for Women

Chapter 9 Conquering Bad Emotions, This Mustang
In addition, the reason why depressed patients continue to be depressed is that they are indulging in their own distress, so if they empathize with the pain of others and are eager to help others, they can free themselves from depression.

Believe that you have a worry-free doll

Time is such a precious thing that nothing can be exchanged for it, and we all like to waste it on sorrows that are forgotten a year from now.It is because we are too cautious that life seems so short.

Legend has it that one day, a beautiful Indian girl tossed and turned unable to sleep.When Grandpa saw it, he asked her what was wrong with concern.The girl sat up, frowned and replied:
"I accidentally broke my mother's most precious thing, because I was worried that my mother would be angry when she saw it tomorrow, so I couldn't sleep all the time."

Hearing what the girl said, Grandpa took out a doll from the box, handed it to her, and said:
"My child, this doll is called Jieyou doll. Before you go to bed, you can tell it all your troubles and ask it to help you relieve your troubles. Then you put it under the pillow when you sleep, so that you can wait for tomorrow Get up, and you will find that the doll has reduced your distress a lot."

"Grandpa, is this true?"

"In our Indian tribe, everyone has a doll like this. If we encounter troubles in life, we will let the worry-free doll help us relieve the troubles. Wait until the next day, and everything becomes easier solved."

The girl believed her grandfather's words, and happily told the doll her troubles, then stuffed it under the pillow, and fell asleep in peace.

The legend of Jieyou dolls has been passed down from generation to generation by the Indians living in the high mountains of Guatemala.Whenever they encounter some problems or are distressed because they frequently think of their mistakes, the Indians here will tell the worry-free doll, and then stuff it under the pillow and go to sleep with peace of mind.They believe that Jieyou Doll will solve the problems encountered by the owner while the owner is sleeping.

In this world, the real problem is not those unsolvable problems, but the psychology that people can't help themselves in the face of difficulties.In other words, the problems we face are solvable.When encountering difficulties, we must not be depressed by the mentality of "Why am I the only one who encounters this kind of misfortune?" We should always maintain an optimistic mood, such as often encouraging ourselves with thoughts such as "This is too simple".

Generally speaking, when we look at other people's problems, we always feel that they can be solved easily.In fact, our own problems, too, are bound to find solutions.It's a waste of life to just wallow in useless worries.

Sadness belongs to the weak who only worry, but happiness belongs to the strong who believe that all problems can be solved.Let's spin the happy roulette, sorrow and worry will leave you forever!

Don't talk about complaining all day

A lot of women like to complain, they run everything at home, and then pour out their pain to those around them.Originally, complaining a few words is a way of venting emotions, but some people often turn complaining into a normal and fixed pattern of life, which adds a lot of troubles.

When many people go home, all they hear are women nagging, complaining, and shouting and losing their temper.When most men hear these voices, they will flee without thinking. They will go to take a shower, work overtime or go out to drink alone.

Women spend several times more time talking than men in their lives.They talked to their husbands endlessly, talking about everything, and wished they could not stop for a moment.Men not only have to listen, but also can't speak, so as not to interrupt the woman's speech.If this situation lasts for a long time, even the men who love them will get tired of it.

Many times, when a man suffers setbacks outside, he will confide his heart to a woman when he returns home, which shows that you are his closest and most trusted person.At this time, if you are impatient and complain about your difficulties, it will make their original depression worse.

In fact, a complaint is not as good as a loving look, a cup of light tea, and an intimate gesture.

Disraeli once said: "I may have made many mistakes and follies in my life, but I never intend to marry for love." Sure enough, he practiced his own ideas. At the age of 35, he asked an elder Marianne, his 15-year-old widow, proposed.It's not for love, he's after the widow's money.Marianne understood his thoughts and asked him to wait for a year, and she wanted to examine his character.A year later, the two married.

The use of marriage for business transactions is nothing new, but, to everyone's surprise, this marriage has been hailed as one of the happiest marriages.

Marianne is neither young nor beautiful, she has little knowledge, strange clothes, no understanding of housework, and often speaks the wrong words. She seems to have all the shortcomings of a woman.But there is one thing she is a genius, she knows how to take care of her marriage.

She never allowed her thoughts to contradict her husband's.Whenever Disraeli returned home exhausted after talking with those sensitive characters, she did not question or complain, but treated them with respect.

Whenever Disraeli hurried back from the House of Representatives to tell her what she had seen and heard on the news during the day, she would listen with a smile and fully support his idea or suggestion.Yes, she supported her husband, and she never believed that he would fail in whatever he worked hard for.

Disraeli felt that living with his elderly wife was his happiest time. She became his good wife, his advisor, and his confidant.

One day, Disraeli confessed his feelings to Marianne and said, "Do you know that I married you only for your money?" Marianne smiled and replied, "Yes. But if you ask me again The marriage proposal must be for loving me, right?" Disraeli nodded and admitted.

The two spent 30 years together, and Marianne believes that the value of all her property is reflected in giving Disraeli a comfortable life.And Disraeli regarded her as a hero in his heart, and Chen asked the queen to confer Marianne as a nobleman.

In the story, Marianne is neither young nor beautiful, and seems to have no advantages, but she firmly grasps Disraeli's heart.Because she is a calm woman with a tolerant nature.She is good at listening to her lover and never complains.

What to do when feeling stressed

Repression is a way a person processes emotions in times of pain and fear.Moreover, it is also addictive and becomes a habit.This is why some women are subconsciously unwilling to get rid of their repressed feelings, and use it as a convenient protection in times of crisis and trouble, and retreat to restore kindness and comfort.

In general, all addictive eccentricities are endearing and comforting despite their overt and destructive self-destructive nature.

The kinds of depression you can feel are: loss of self-esteem, low self-esteem, anger, guilt, self-hatred, world-weariness, and isolation.The mixture of these conflicting emotions creates depression, and the suppression of depression can lead to depression.At this time, the effect of depression can cover up, restrain, dilute and suppress the depression itself.In addition to these effects, however, it brings back at the same time all the pernicious emotions which inevitably produce melancholy.

When you are free, you can refer to the following methods and list the problems you face in your notebook:

[-]. Do I feel like I am missing something?If yes, what is it?How did you lose it?Was it people, status, prestige, or self-esteem that was lost?

[-]. Am I annoyed?Annoyed at what?To a parent, friend, husband, lover, child, brother or sister, or to yourself?Why are you so annoyed?Is it because some of my wishes didn't come true?

[-]. Do I feel hopeless?Desperate for what?Desperate for whom?Is there any basis for this despair?Can you find evidence from your own past that this hopelessness is only temporary?
[-]. Do I feel alone and helpless?Is it true?Can you find simple and effective ways to reduce feelings of isolation and helplessness?Have every possibility been explored?
[-]. Do I feel guilty?If so, what are you guilty of?What do you wish you could do?Who else do you feel guilty about?Can I cause guilt myself?

[-]. Am I resenting myself for something?Do you resent yourself for what you did, or didn't do?Feel like a scary person?If you feel this way, can you find evidence to refute it?
[-]. Am I trapped in a guilt conflict?Do I want to do two completely opposite things at the same time, and don't want to give up one of them?Want to spend time on yourself, but at the same time want to devote all your time to your family?Want to get involved in someone's affairs without continuing to have a close but harmful relationship with that person?
[-]. How do I deal with these emotions?Hold on to it, or try to dilute it?

The above questions include almost all kinds of depression you have.They can only be eliminated gradually and slowly, one at a time.You can also add some depression that is unique to you.This is one of the reasons why it is recommended that you use a notebook.After writing a question, write your thoughts on it.The same question can be asked many times and answered in various ways.

Do remember that this is entirely your own business, not bound by any rules, it is up to you to decide what to choose, to respond to your own existence.If you find yourself feeling irritable, stop temporarily and continue after a while.

One of the most important and beneficial things you can do for yourself is to see how your desires, or "shoulds," affect your spiritual life, Dissatisfaction with self and others.

Right understanding doesn't miraculously happen right away, you don't wake up in the middle of the night and say, "This is exactly what's wrong with me! Now I'm going to fix it and my life will be happier than it was before." Change is needed a process.

Non-drug remedies for a bad mood

(End of this chapter)