Be a Strong Woman: Carnegie's Book of Spiritual Growth for Women

Chapter 10 Conquering Bad Emotions, This Mustang
Everyone will have a good time.There are a few days in every month of a woman's menstrual cycle when she is depressed.Bad mood sometimes makes us destroy or damage the impressions, plans, and work we have accumulated for a long time.

How to overcome bad mood?The best way to do this is to speak your mind, even though sometimes no one is around to listen to you.Now there are many "psychological hotlines" and other institutions in various places. The biggest purpose of these institutions is to maintain people's mental health and keep people in a good mood.This practice is called "catharsis" in psychology, and it is a psychological defense mechanism.

There is a more important method called "self-made".Self-control is also a psychological defense mechanism.Plato said: "As far as man is concerned, the most important and momentous victory is to conquer himself."

Modern medicine also provides us with many sedatives and antidepressants to overcome bad moods, which play a great role in resolving our bad moods.

Even more gratifying is that modern people have discovered some non-drug remedies for bad mood:
[-]. Exercise

Of all the mood-altering self-help techniques, aerobic exercise is the best at banishing a bad mood.The researchers highlighted that various changes, chemical and otherwise, make exercise comparable to mood-enhancing drugs.The effect of physical activities such as housework is poor. The key is to do aerobic exercise, such as running, cycling, brisk walking, swimming and other repetitive continuous exercise, which can increase the heart rate, accelerate blood circulation, and improve the body's use of oxygen.This kind of exercise is carried out for at least 20 minutes each time, 3 to 5 times a week.

[-]. Use color

"Just as vitamins are nourishment for the body, color can be nourishment for the mind," says New York-based color psychologist Patricia Derba.

To eliminate restlessness and anger, it is beneficial to avoid contact with red.In order to fight depression, don't wear black, dark blue and other colors that make you feel depressed, and don't be in an environment of this color.One should look for warm, bright and positive colors to lighten the mood.To reduce worry and tension, choose neutral colors for a calming, calming effect.For example, hospitals often use muted primary colors to calm patients.

Three, listen to music
Music has a therapeutic effect on bad moods, and music should be chosen according to the principle of equal mood.If you are in a blue mood, you should choose blue music.Although, this may seem to increase your feelings of blues, it is the first step in changing your mood.You can choose 3~4 short pieces of music to gradually guide the original mood to the required mood.

[-]. Choose food correctly

Food has an important connection with mood.Sugary foods are soothing foods.Eating sugary foods alone has a calming effect, because sugary foods stimulate the production of elements in brain tissue that can make us feel calm and relaxed. 50 grams of sugary foods are enough to cause a calming effect. Low-calorie sugary foods such as popcorn and salty crackers have the same sedative effect as fattening foods such as donuts and fried potato chips. Protein foods keep people on alert status and energy.In this regard, the best protein foods are crustaceans, fish, chicken, veal and lean beef, and eating 100-150 grams can be effective.

High caffeine intake is also involved in mood changes.Comparative experiments have found that, for some people, high caffeine intake is closely related to deepening depression, irritability and anxiety.

[-]. Add lighting

The National Institute of Mental Health has found that some people are prone to the winter blues.This is a seasonal disease caused by lack of light.As long as you add 2 to 3 hours of artificial lighting with fluorescent lamps every day, your mood will improve.

You might as well give these methods a try, it may make our mood better unconsciously.

Six Tips to Help Overcome Loneliness

Feeling lonely is common, as happy, sorry, interested, not interested, we often experience loneliness.

Any woman who feels lonely after being alone for a while may want to find companionship.We call this normal loneliness.When people are in a natural state of mind, they tend to be close to other people if they have not been around them for a while.Of course it is equally natural that people want to be alone for a while.

Some women fail to appreciate the beauty and value of friendship. They may forget that friendship can help them through the most difficult disappointments and severe trials.Friendships are also creative, giving support and conviction in life.

Depending on the situation, here are some suggestions to help you overcome loneliness.

[-]. If you're feeling lonely on the weekends, ask yourself a few questions.First of all, what do you want to do?Where can you develop your chosen interest?Do you know what is holding you back from the event?Then implement them one by one.

[-]. Over the years, depression and loneliness before or during the holidays have become a major problem for many people.The main reason is that family and close friends are not together or estranged from them, and it is not always satisfying to spend the holidays by yourself.Maybe it's because the previous holiday was so good it's still in your heart.Or you already have a ready-made blueprint for holiday life in your head, and if your idea is unrealistic, you will be disappointed.

How to solve this problem?First, let's identify the basics of a happy or not-too-lonely holiday, which are usually: family, food, fun.The family is the hardest to solve, and that's where we'll start.Here are a few questions you can ask yourself: Which family members, near and far, can you connect with?Or, have you long decided that family worries you more than anything else?If there is no family member, is there a replacement family, or a store owner who happens to know?These suggestions may seem difficult to take, but they are doable in this case, and you may be able to feel unexpected joy.Either way, the goal is just to find someone who wants to spend the holidays with you.Remember, there are many lonely people out there who also long for holiday companionship, and that companionship could be you.

[-]. If you have been lonely and may also feel depressed, then you need to find someone or a place to talk.The main consideration should be: How can I organize my life so that I can have more time to meet other people?What can I do to feel dedicated and enjoyed?You have to ask yourself these questions first, and then carefully consider your own thoughts.

[-]. If you are more confident than before, you will feel less alone when you are alone.So you should find something to do for yourself and form some new habits.

[-]. The most important question to ask yourself is: Am I where I want to be?In fact, for everyone, happiness is only when one does not blindly emphasize one's position, but understands, forgives and tolerates the other party, that is, gets rid of self-centeredness.

Sixth, put yourself in the position of others, not only will not lose your self-awareness, but also make yourself better.In order to absorb the point of view of others to develop one's own ideas, to put oneself in the shoes of others, to transfer one's feelings to those of those around one, one must use tact, intelligence, and a rich imagination.We should work hard to develop the ability in this area.

acknowledge and accept your emotions

At the beginning of the 20th century, British doctor Ferris and German psychologist Swobot discovered a strange phenomenon at the same time: some patients came for treatment every 23 or 28 days because of headaches and mental fatigue.So they called 23 days the "law of physical strength" and 28 days the "law of emotion". Twenty years later, Trischer discovered that the intelligence of students changes in a period of 20 days, so he called it the "Law of Intelligence".Later, people collectively referred to the "law of physical strength", "law of intelligence" and "law of emotion" as the three biological rhythms.

From the day a person is born until he leaves the world, the biological trirhythm does not change at all, and is not affected by any acquired conditions.All three rhythms have their own high tide period, low tide period and critical day.Take emotions as an example. During the climax period, people are full of energy and happy, and all activities are covered by a pleasant state of mind; during critical days, they feel particularly bad about themselves, their health level declines, their mood is irritable, and they tend to get angry for no reason. Accidents are prone to occur during activities; during the low tide period, the mood is low and the response is unresponsive, and all activities are shrouded in a depressed mood.

In the reports of many psychologists, we can see the description of the emotional cycle.Some people said it was 28 days, while others concluded that it was 5 weeks.In any case, we can roughly draw such a conclusion: human beings, as animals with naturalness, have emotional cycle changes.It is impossible for people to be in positive emotions forever. Since there are setbacks and difficulties in life, there will be negative emotions.

Our basic attitude towards emotion is first: admit and accept it.Because for any problem, if you don't face it and refuse to admit it, then you can only be passively affected by it, and you won't be able to deal with it well.

People with different personalities have different requirements for emotions, but there is a general consensus: constantly suppressing emotions will lead to psychological disorders, including psychological contradictions, psychological depression, emotional entanglements, self-denial, ambiguity, and floating worries.And there is a consensus among physicians interested in mind-body disorders that emotional distress is one of the causes of some illnesses.

It all goes to show that there are good reasons for us to lift the veil on our emotional lives, at least acknowledging their existence, if not overtly expressing them.No matter what attitude you take towards it, the first thing you need to do is face it squarely.If you deny it, it doesn't go away, it just lurks in your consciousness and continues to affect you.You may not feel it, but in places you can't imagine, it can manipulate you to do things you don't want to do, or affect your physical health.

Moreover, being open about our own emotions helps us understand and accept the emotions of others.If we can't face our own tears, we can become impatient with other people's tears; if we can't face our own anger, we can be distracted by other people's anger; We may share in other people's happiness; if we cannot face our own admiration, we may be indifferent to others' admiration; if we cannot face our own faults, we may find fault with others' faults...

(End of this chapter)