Be a Strong Woman: Carnegie's Book of Spiritual Growth for Women

Chapter 12 Flying against the wind, after the storm is a rainbow (2)
Saline, who just started working, is very dissatisfied with her job.She often complained that the company's conditions were too poor, which buried her talent, and lamented that there was no "bole" to appreciate her "thousand-mile horse".Therefore, she has formed a habit of procrastinating at work, and she can only maintain the heat for 3 minutes when doing anything; The environment is comfortable and comfortable.

In fact, there are all young people with great ambitions in the world, but very few of them can succeed.Only at the moment when a person makes a choice can he settle down with his heart.Only by persevering will the water of life be dug out on the land under your feet.On the contrary, if you dig a hole and change a place, you will face the possibility of dying of thirst in the end.

Strong endurance is not born to everyone, but needs to be tempered in life.Sometimes, the lack of perseverance and patience may be due to the lack of training in such qualities and the lack of opportunities to develop such habits in childhood.

The famous American psychologist Walter Michel once did an interesting experiment on a group of elementary school students: he gave each child a piece of jellybean, and then told them that he had something to leave for a while.He hoped that none of the kids would eat the fudge, and promised, "If you'll save these until I get back from my errands, I'll reward you with two more fudge." Then he went out. .The lonely children waited and waited for the attractive piece of fudge, and finally someone couldn't stand it anymore and ate the piece of fudge.Then, someone else did the same thing... 20 minutes later, Michelle came back.He kept his promise and rewarded the children who didn't eat the candy with two candies each.Many years later, he found that most of the children who couldn't wait did nothing, and those who made great achievements in the future were all those children who were willing to wait.

Endurance is an important item in non-intellectual factors.In many cases, you must learn to be patient for a while, and endure the trials and tests of the environment.Now that you have chosen, don't give up easily, otherwise you will never achieve anything.

don't cry over spilled milk

Mr. Aaron Sanders will always remember the most valuable lesson taught to him by his Physiology and Hygiene teacher, Dr. Paul Brandwin. "I was only a teenager at the time, but I used to worry about a lot of things and feel sorry for myself for the mistakes I made. I kept thinking about the things I did, wish I hadn't done that, I kept thinking about the things I said, Wish I had spoken better then.

"We walked into the science lab one morning and found a bottle of milk by Mrs. Paul Brandwin's desk. I don't know what that has to do with his physiology class. Suddenly, the teacher threw The bottle of milk was spilled in the sink while shouting: 'Don't cry over spilled milk.'

"Then he called us over to the sink and said, 'Look well and remember this lesson forever. You see the milk has leaked out. No matter how much you rush, how much you complain, you can't save a single drop. Just move first. Use your brains, take precautions, and the bottle of milk will be saved. But it's too late now—all we can do is forget about it and move on to the next thing."

"I'll never forget this performance. It taught me not to spill the milk if possible. If the milk spills and the whole thing leaks, just forget about it."

"Don't cry over spilled milk" is a cliché, but it is the crystallization of human wisdom.Even if you've read the books on worry written by the great minds of all ages, you won't find more useful clichés than "The boat will be straight when it reaches the bridge" and "Don't cry over spilled milk."In fact, if we just make more use of those old sayings, we can live an almost perfect life.However, knowledge is not power if it is not harnessed.The purpose of this book is not to tell you anything new, but to remind you of what you already know and to encourage you to apply what you have learned.

The late Fred Fuller Züder had a gift for telling old truths in new and engaging ways.Once speaking to a senior college class, he asked, "Who saw wood, please raise your hand." Most of the students raised their hands.He asked again, "Who saw sawdust?" No one raised their hands.

"Of course, you can't saw sawdust," said Mr. Zuid. "The past is the same. When you start worrying about what has been done and what is past, you are sawing some sawdust."

Shakespeare tells us: "A wise man never sits and mourns his loss, but gladly seeks out ways to make amends."

Of course, mistakes and omissions are our fault.But who hasn't made a mistake?Napoleon also lost a third of all his major battles.Perhaps our average record is less than Napoleon's.What's more, even if you use all the king's troops, you can't restore the lost battle.

use adversity as a stepping stone
After countless failed attempts, the ballet dancer showed a graceful dance, and the violinist played a melodious tune.Faced with others' elegant praise for his music, Kalisme sighed: "Oh! How do you know how much effort I have spent to achieve this elegant performance!" Someone asked Josiah Reynolds: "How long does your work take to finish?" He replied: "I will devote my life to it."

Adversity may seem too strict, but in the end you will find that she is a good teacher.In the face of adversity, our instinct will make us retreat, but we cannot escape, we must face it with courage.Pence said with sincerity: "You can gain wisdom from those painful losses and lessons. In fact, this is the only way you can gain wisdom."

There is sweetness out of bitterness.Our potential and strength are revealed in adversity.If it really has intrinsic value, then it will emit dazzling light under the tempering of external forces. "The steps to heaven are made of setbacks," says an age-old proverb.Rich said: "What is poverty? Why do people complain so much about poverty? I think poverty is the pain of a girl getting a piercing in her ear. When the ear is healed, you can hang beautiful gems .”

A history of struggle is the best interpretation of life.Most of the time, struggle is accompanied by hardship.If the target is easy to get, it is like fighting an honorless battle, which makes people lose interest.It can be said that brilliant achievements are all tempered by adversity.Achievement is achieved after striving for a goal.Only cowardly people will shrink back in the face of difficulties. In the eyes of the strong and brave strong, this is just the driving force for their progress.All life experience tells us: "With enthusiasm, never back, and determination to overcome all difficulties, you can bravely face adversity and overcome those obstacles that stand in your way."

In adversity, human abilities and skills are enhanced.Faced with difficulties, human beings will be more determined to move forward towards the future.This is like an athlete doing high-intensity training during normal exercise, but when it comes to real competition, he can perform more easily.On the road to success, there are many obstacles, but when you overcome them, you will become stronger.In experience, we can easily make judgments, just like a beaten nettle will become soft. As for difficulties, as long as we find the right method, we can easily resolve them.Setting goals and believing that you can achieve them is what our experience tells us is the most effective way to achieve them.

To the unyielding, suffering becomes a gift

On the journey of life, from the beginning to the end, there are not only flowers and sunshine, but also thorns and haze that greet us.If we give up trying because we are afraid of setbacks and failures, we will never succeed.When thorns and haze come to us, we can only hope to see the olive branch held high by the goddess of success only by unremittingly fighting against fate.

The ancients said: "Heaven will send a great mission to the people of Sri Lanka, and they must first suffer from their minds and wills, exhaust their muscles and bones, starve their bodies and skins, empty their bodies, and disturb their actions. Therefore, the heart and tolerance have benefited what they can't do. "Suffering is the best school for exercising one's will.Fight against suffering, it will stimulate your infinite potential, exercise your courage and sharpen your will.Perhaps, you will feel pain and helplessness when you are in adversity, but after you go through the adversity, you will understand more deeply that it is that affliction that has created your maturity and stalwart personality and given you the strength to face the difficulties. All fearless courage, and the mentality of facing suffering that is closely related to this courage.

Lloyd's insurance company once bought a boat from the auction market.The ship was launched in 1894. During the Atlantic Ocean, it encountered icebergs 138 times, ran aground 116 times, caught fire 13 times, and had its mast damaged by storms 207 times. However, it had under no circumstances sunk.Lloyds Insurance Company finally decided to buy it from the Netherlands and donate it to the country based on its incredible experience and the considerable benefits it brought to it in terms of premiums.The ship is now moored at the British National Ship Museum in Port Saron.However, it was a lawyer who visited the ship to make it famous.At that time, he had just lost a lawsuit, and the client committed suicide not long ago.Although this is not the first time he has lost his defense, nor is it the first suicide case he has encountered.However, whenever something like this happens, he always has a sense of guilt.He didn't know how to comfort those who had suffered misfortune in business.When he saw the ship in the British National Ship Museum, he suddenly had an idea, why not let them visit the ship?So he copied the history of the ship and hung it in his law firm together with the photo of the ship. Whenever business clients asked him to defend him, no matter whether he won or lost, he suggested that they go and see the ship. ship, that they may know that no ship sails the great seas without wounds.Despite repeated setbacks, but able to stand strong, this is the secret of success.

Suffering becomes a gift in front of the unyielding people.This precious gift will become the oasis that truly nourishes his life, so that he will not be easily knocked down at any moment in his life!
Many times, giving up is also a good choice
A woman's life is like a path in a garden, full of forks and wrong paths.At the fork in the path, should you choose the delicate and blooming rose, or the delicate and elegant jasmine?And at the fork in your life, do you choose the romantic love in front of you, or endure loneliness for future success?Do you choose the warmth of family life or the success of your career?These choices one after another determine a woman's life of happiness or frustration.A woman may not be beautiful, but she cannot be unhappy.And whether you can get happiness often depends on the choice between your thoughts.This choice requires wisdom.

To choose means to give up, because only by giving up can there be gains.Willingness does not refer to a specific thing, but an attitude and decision.Instead of passively changing with difficulty, it is better to pull yourself out of the bad environment and take the initiative to change.In other words, in order to make yourself better, you must learn to give up appropriately, so that you can live more calmly.There is something to gain.

A monkey stretched its hand into the box arranged by the hunter to pick out the fruit. It caught the fruit, but the hand holding the fruit could not be pulled out of the box.The monkey finally fell into the hands of the hunter because it did not know how to give up, and refused to let go of what it had grasped.

The nature of indecision begins, and women are often unable to let go of those things that should be given up, thus losing the initiative to choose, and even paying a huge price for making wrong choices.You must know that if you do something, you will not do it, if you gain something, you will lose something, if you want everything, you will get nothing in the end, or even lose everything.

Therefore, adjust your mentality in time to face the loss calmly, treat the loss correctly, learn to endure the loss, make your mind more open-minded, and let your vision be longer-term.In order to achieve a career, in order to achieve my life goals, I often prune the branches and leaves for myself, remove those unnecessary nostalgia and longing, so as to concentrate on the pursuit of life.

Giving up decisively is a sober choice in the face of life and life.Only by learning to give up those things that should be given up, life will be able to sing all the way in light.Only by learning to give up and get out of troubles, life will be full of brilliance and vitality.

what is lost will be compensated

People always say that there will be rewards for our efforts, but many times, our efforts have not been reciprocated.There may even be no return at all, and what is worse, many times, our painstaking efforts will suffer blows and tribulations.However, please keep in mind: what is lost will be compensated.

The famous actress Audrey Hepburn suffered from her parents' divorce when she was young, and she followed her mother to live a life of ups and downs.During the war years, she endured poverty, hunger and fear.As an adult, her dream of being a ballet dancer was shattered due to insufficient financial and physical conditions.She also experienced two failed marriages.Her life is so rough, but no one has ever proved that she ever sought help from a psychiatrist.

An experienced psychiatrist couldn't help sighing: "For the stars in the show business at that time, Hepburn really created a miracle." The doctor often received calls from many famous hosts and movie stars in the middle of the night, asking him to Give psychological help.These people are rich, beautiful, and handsome, with fame, status, and admiration from everyone. They should be God's favorites, but they all suffer from inextricable psychological pain without exception.

"Why didn't Hepburn? She looks so weak, not to mention she has experienced so much pain?" This is not only the doubt of the psychiatrist, but also the doubt of the public.

Let’s take a look at the reports about Hepburn——

Hepburn once quietly withdrew from the showbiz for eight years.For a movie star who has become famous in Hollywood, one year's loss in filming is equivalent to the Rockefeller family sealing up an oil well in Tennessee.

Hepburn has been a goodwill ambassador 67 times.

During the ten years from 1953 to 1963, Hepburn insisted on doing volunteer or nursing services in prisons, hospitals and slums every month.

Hepburn once declined the Bell Company's $5 an hour celebration invitation, and went to the orphanage to visit poor children.

Perhaps these facts give the best explanation.Inspired by this, many psychiatrists suggested that their special patients participate in public welfare undertakings. Later, they found that these patients gradually eliminated their worries and anxieties. They became open-minded and optimistic, and soon they did not need to seek help from psychiatrists.

Although they don't get material rewards for their time, energy and money spent on charity and public welfare, they get spiritual pleasure, whose value far exceeds monetary rewards.

There is a law in the world: the conservation of matter.When you don't get material rewards for your efforts, it doesn't mean you lose, even if you lose, you will be compensated, but it is another form, a more noble form.

(End of this chapter)