The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 7

Eight is to pay attention to personal image.Image is the most external expression of a person, and we usually associate image with a person's quality.Therefore, image is very important for anyone.Those who pay attention to their image generally pay more attention to what others think of them, and such people are more likely to succeed in striking up a conversation.

The ninth is to grasp the main points in the conversation.One, don't ask questions for the sake of asking questions.Sometimes when people are "out of words", they usually ask some strange questions.For example, Mingming just asked the other person's age, and then asked: "Are you Guigeng?" This is undoubtedly a ridiculous question, but it reflects the psychological fear of the person who strikes up a conversation.When striking up a conversation, the more you pay attention to your words and deeds, the easier it is to be sentenced to death for your words and deeds.Therefore, try not to ask questions when striking up a conversation. It is best to be able to speak declarative sentences all the time, and don't wait for the other party's answer.You can laugh cheerfully and naturally, but please don't show lewd expressions.This is also one of the mistakes that many strike-ups often make. Maybe you are very purposeful, but remember that not all women can tolerate "a little bit bad" men.You know, sometimes women make friends in accordance with the definition of eternity.Second, don't speak too loudly.When you give a speech, being loud is likely to earn respect from others.But if it's a strike-up instead, it might be too inappropriate.Especially when you are chatting up someone in a public place, speaking too loudly will make you look very uneducated.

In short, it is very important to be cautious in words and deeds when striking up a conversation.Our words and deeds are another sign of ourselves, and sometimes this sign will become our own representative, so cautious words and deeds are also the most sought-after code of approach.

Further Reading: Pick Up Terminology

Suppression is to balance one's psychology and narrow the gap with the person being approached, so that he no longer has a condescending sense of superiority.You can also look at the other person's expression after striking up a conversation. If the other person is a little uncomfortable, it means that she is emotionally invested in you; if not, it means that you are still playing alone.But don't suppress it too much, so as not to make the other party feel disgusted.

Jino, that is, any form of physical contact, is the abbreviation of "kinesthetic".This is conducive to further building a sense of trust, and it is also an encouragement to those who strike up a conversation.High-value display, that is, showing one's strong side, is conducive to establishing a tall image in the mind of the person being approached.Usually you can exaggerate yourself appropriately and judge whether the other party has emotional investment in you; if not, then your high value display is like a clown in the other party's eyes.

Low-value display, that is, showing one's weak side, is conducive to shortening the distance with the other party and gaining the trust of the other party.Usually you can say some embarrassing things about yourself to achieve your goal.if it can be used flexibly with high-value impressions

It can be said that it is a kind of enjoyment to see the other party's fascinated expression.

Interest indicators, the other party hints that he is interested in you or your topic, which is a good sign that you can continue to strike up a conversation.

10.Avoid the misunderstanding of striking up a conversation, and it is no longer awkward to strike up a conversation

Many people have misunderstandings on the issue of striking up a conversation, so that they shrink back from the behavior of striking up a conversation. Even if there is an occasional strikeup, it is full of jokes, which makes everyone embarrassed.Only by avoiding the misunderstanding of strike-up, can we successfully strike-up, which is the necessary knowledge to tie the knot and expand the network.

So, what are the misunderstandings about chatting up?Below we list a few, hoping to play a vigilant role.Especially for those rookies who strike up a conversation, understanding these misunderstandings will help them get a fresh start.

One is love at first sight.For example, the person who strikes up a conversation will think like this: "I often see her (him), and I feel very good, and then I think about it day and night, and plan carefully, hoping to get to know each other." The culprits that lead to this misunderstanding are those novels, movies, TV series, While these works bring people a beautiful vision about love, they also create more cold and cruel realities for the world.The probability of falling in love at first sight is actually very low, but once it becomes a strike-up behavior, some people can't tell the difference. They always feel that as long as they take the right approach to the person they fancy, she (he) may return the same to themselves goodwill.In fact, what you see is only her (his) surface, which has nothing to do with whether you can become lovers, so it is not determined by your efforts.

The second is to start talking about the clothes of the person you strike up a conversation with as soon as you come up.What everyone wears, including the handbags they carry and the perfume they sprinkle on their bodies, all involve this person's taste and personal space, so it would be presumptuous to discuss it directly.Even if you ask "where did you buy the shoes you are wearing", some people will be disgusted.So, if the other person is holding a toy, you can come up and say, "This toy is so cute." Because this is a review of the toy, not of her (him) person.But if the first sentence of the conversation is "how are your shoes, how are your skirts, how are your handbags", this is a bit dangerous, and you may think you are perverted.

The third is to see her (he) listening with earphones, so he is afraid of disturbing others and dare not go forward to strike up a conversation.In fact, as long as the other party is not on the phone, it is not considered impolite to say "Hello" to her (him).The boundary of harassment is calculated from the moment the other party expresses no interest in you.If you were listening to music by yourself, would you mind if someone who looked good to you had a word with you?Therefore, people who have this kind of concern still feel that it is not a good thing to strike up a conversation.

The fourth is to deliberately walk to the left (right) front of the person who strikes up a conversation, and then turn around to strike up a conversation.It seems that this is one of the main points of Luda that many hook-up guides talk about, but it may not be easy to use in practice.Because if you need to walk quickly in front of her (him) and then slow down to strike up a conversation with her (him), then a little outside interference in the process and you failing to start talking in time will make your entire state at this moment appear extremely serious. unnatural.It's better to walk up to her side quickly, and strike up a conversation immediately.Remember, if you are in an environment where the other person feels safe, speaking suddenly like this will not really scare her (him); If you don't strike up a conversation, people will be beating drums in their hearts.

The fifth is to judge the success rate of striking up a conversation from the expression of the other party before speaking.I think that people who are cold and frosty are not easy to get close to, and people who are ostentatious are easy to get. In fact, most of the time, this kind of judgment is meaningless.The success rate of your approach depends on how you make her (him) feel, which has little to do with her (him) own emotional state before she (him) notices you.If you want to judge the success rate of striking up a conversation, you should observe it after you say the first sentence to her (him).

The sixth is to only pay attention to the girl's appearance and figure, but ignore the observation of her clothing and belongings.For example, if you follow the girl who came out of Starbucks, since she has a cup of takeaway coffee in her hand, it can be estimated that she will enter another private place immediately, so it is not appropriate to follow for too long, and you should take action immediately.It's a pity that some people overlooked this point. By the time he spoke, the girl was about to get on the elevator.The observation of the girl's clothing before the strike-up is to help you judge the timing of the move, and the observation of the girl's expression and attitude after the strike-up is to help you judge your success rate, but novices often confuse the two.Approaching from the side where she holds the purse will make her think you're up for a robbery.So you'd better have something in your hand, so you don't look like a punk.

Seven is the lack of understanding of the terrain when striking up a conversation.Knowledge of the terrain is important.Be sure to keep an eye on tracking targets in environments that you are not very familiar with.Sometimes, an unexpected fork in the road can make your goal disappear forever.

Eighth, the time to track the target is too long, the distance is too close, and the target is lingered for a long time without making a move.Women, especially beautiful women, are naturally sensitive to men within two or three meters of themselves. Your hesitation will only reduce your value in her eyes.Therefore, it is okay to follow and observe the girl, but you must keep a distance, and you must not let her find out. Once you get close to the target, you must resolutely shoot.

In short, don't be blind when you strike up a conversation, avoid misunderstandings, and at the same time pay attention to artistry.There is no right or wrong thing in this world. Only by analyzing specific problems and prescribing the right medicine can we get the desired effect.

Further reading: Precautions for chatting up

(1) Don't strike up a conversation with a strange woman from behind.

(2) Show a natural smile when the eyes meet.

(3) Don't look at the opponent's whole body from top to bottom.

(4) Be natural and don't let the other party feel that you are trying to strike up a conversation with them.

(5) Don't rush to touch any part of the other person's body.

(6) Don't be discouraged and retreat when the other party refuses, you need to make persistent efforts.

(7) Don't pester the other party, let alone block the other party's way, or follow closely.

(8) Be self-aware and don't aim too high.

(9) Know how to end this first contact at the right time.

(End of this chapter)