The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 6

Self-confidence is a manifestation of a person's psychological state. People with self-confidence are generally full of vitality, while those without self-confidence are humble.So, here is a question to clarify, everyone is equal in life, you have nothing to do with others, so why make yourself inferior?Therefore, don't run away, and don't be afraid to face the failure in striking up a conversation, let alone say that you can't do it.Only those with low self-esteem will stare at their own failures and shortcomings, and they will even escape from reality and dare not affirm themselves.There is a saying that goes well: "The fear in reality is far less terrible than the fear in imagination."

Head out with confidence!Stop facing life in that sluggish state.You have to tell yourself: "I am a strong person, and I have enough confidence to defeat other strike-up opponents." When you really realize that you are stronger than other strike-up opponents, I believe you have successfully caught up with someone you are interested in people!
Further reading: self-confidence
Self-confidence means being full of confidence in yourself, not chaotic, not surprised when things happen, and having a calm and peaceful state of mind.Life requires aggressive self-confidence, and only a life with enough aggressive strength is a passionate life.So, how to develop self-confidence?

(1) Act bravely.Courage is the expression of self-confidence.Confident people have the courage to express their opinions in public, speak fluently and powerfully; they have the courage to stand in the front row, dare to refuse excessive demands from others, and can clearly express their opinions and views in communication.

(2) Respect others and yourself.People with self-confidence will not rely on belittling and denying others to establish their self-confidence.On the contrary, they will respect others, respect their opinions, be good at listening, and know how to respect others; when expressing their views and demands, they also respect the same rights that others have; It's not right.

(3) Facing the pain and joy in life calmly.People with self-confidence are often open-minded, can stick to their principles under any circumstances, be consistent in appearance and inward, and treat people equally; admit that they are not the best, accept criticism with humility when there are differences in views with others, be humble and studious, and not ashamed to ask others ; Can accept the praise of others calmly, and can also correctly face the good and bad times in life.

(4) Take the initiative to attack.This is also a behavioral characteristic of a person with self-confidence: positive behavior, willing to get along with others; strong sense of mission, responsibility and honor; achievements, and genuinely compliment others.In the face of difficulties in life and work, he can take the initiative to attack and never evade.

(5) Know yourself objectively.To understand oneself objectively and fully understand one's abilities, qualities and psychological characteristics, one must first have a realistic attitude, not only to see one's own strengths, but also to look at one's own weaknesses truthfully.Cultivating self-confidence is to correctly evaluate yourself and be self-aware.Finding your strengths and strengths can inspire self-confidence.

(6) Affirm yourself truly.Self-confidence does not mean that you can achieve success without any effort, but you must focus on the big picture, start small, down-to-earth and persistent struggle, do everything well in a down-to-earth manner, and overcome every difficulty. Find self-confidence in the joy of your first victory and success.

(7) Appreciate yourself with your heart.Sometimes, we only care about appreciating others but forget to appreciate ourselves, which leads to a loss of self-confidence, so we must learn to appreciate ourselves, which is conducive to the cultivation of self-confidence.How to appreciate yourself?It is to list your own advantages one by one, remind yourself that you are a valuable person, and let yourself love yourself.Look back at your happiest moments and tell yourself good feelings: "I can do it!" "I'm awesome!"

09．Be cautious in your words and deeds, and strive to strike up a good conversation

Many people think that chatting up a conversation is all about talking casually. One of the most common mistakes they make is not understanding the other person's instinctive need for a sense of security.In fact, striking up a conversation is a behavior that is very particular about words and deeds. If you want to strike up a conversation effectively in this process, you must be cautious in your words and deeds.

How to be cautious in your words and deeds in striking up a conversation?We want to keep the following specific questions in mind.

One is not to strike up a conversation with strangers from behind.Talking to strangers should be open and aboveboard, and talking behind the scenes often makes others feel insecure.Sometimes it is difficult to establish a sense of security, but it is easy to break it.Especially for women, they are not as strong as men after all, so when they chat with strange men, they are usually in a "vulnerable" situation.Therefore, they will naturally build a "protective layer" to defend against possible injuries.

The second is not to follow closely for a long time.Tracking at close range for a long time is the easiest way to break the other party's sense of security.The other party knows that you are "following", no matter what the reason is, it is always bad, and this behavior is extremely harmful.If you really want to strike up a conversation with someone but don't have the opportunity, try to stay as far away as possible, and then find the nearest place that is more beneficial to you. Don't hesitate to strike up a conversation directly.

The third is not to stop the other party from striking up a conversation.Many people like to block each other when they strike up a conversation.Of course, you will feel that you are safe now psychologically. If the other party is stopped by you, they will not run away.But the other party will think: "What is he stopping me for? Does he have any intentions?" Therefore, it is really not advisable to stop the other party from starting a conversation.If you don't pay attention to your words and deeds when you strike up a conversation, you may give yourself a bad reputation.

The fourth is to avoid stalking and strike up a conversation.There is such a problem when some novices strike up a conversation, that is, they want to continue to strike up after the other party expresses no interest.This sort of thing happens to salesmen so often that we get adverts of one kind or another.

Here is one of the most common examples: You receive a call from someone selling nutritional products.Although you clearly declined him, the salesman on the other end of the phone was very tenacious and continued to say: "Our nutritional supplements are the best. If you want to buy them, contact me and I will give you a discount!" When you After saying "Thank you, if I need to contact you again", I thought this time it was really over, but who knows that there is still no interruption: "Okay, our nutritional products are the best in the market. Contains a variety of nutritional ingredients." After he finished explaining the ingredients, you still politely rejected him: "Okay, thank you! But I am very busy now, so I will definitely visit you when I have time!" I thought he should understand this time Finally, he continued to say: "Can you take a moment and let me do a health survey for you? Excuse me, what kind of nutritional supplements do you usually take?" You were speechless, so he continued: "I'm sorry, I really don't have any Time." The other side said in a sincere tone: "Just a few minutes." At this time, it's no wonder that you are not forced to hang up the phone harshly!It can be seen from this that when striking up a conversation with someone, you must pay attention to the attitude of the person you strike up a conversation with.If the other party expresses no interest, it is best to change the subject directly.Otherwise, being rejected is a small matter, and annoying people is a big thing.

Fifth, always keep a smile on the person you strike up a conversation with, which is also one of the requirements for being cautious in words and deeds.Many people are at the most nervous stage when they strike up a conversation, not to mention smiling, it is very good to have an expression.The friendliness that comes with smiling is contagious, so smile a lot if you want to strike up a conversation!
The sixth is to be good at observing from a distance first, and then make a judgment.You can observe the other person from a distance before striking up a conversation. This method is often used when choosing a strike-up target, but don't continue when striking up a conversation.Because, looking at the other person from top to bottom usually creates a psychological burden and makes the other person think that you are very frivolous.You can't be careless in striking up a conversation, you are on the battlefield of striking up a conversation, and you are not allowed to have a preparation process on the battlefield.

Seventh, try to be calm when striking up a conversation, and don't expose your intentions too much; but don't be discouraged when you fail.In addition, many people like to touch others when talking. In fact, this is a very bad phenomenon, because excessive physical contact will damage your image and make others think that you have bad intentions.

Don't be discouraged and retreat when the other party refuses, you need to make persistent efforts.You must invite the other party at least 5 times, but you can't pester the other party, let alone block the other party's way or follow closely.You must have a mind that "it's nothing great if you fail", and you must also have self-knowledge, and don't be so ambitious.If your appearance and clothing are not on the same level as the other party, then don't take it upon yourself.Otherwise, you will only scare the other party away if you rush up to strike up a conversation with reluctance.

(End of this chapter)