The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 16

To form a special relationship with a stranger's interests, be sure to bring out your genuine interests.It is not enough to say a few words of interest briefly. Under the inquiry of the other party, you must not hide your real interest, so as not to be self-defeating.But the question is, how do you let someone know that you really share his interest in something.Therefore, you must have considerable knowledge on this topic, which is enough to prove that you have done research.For example, many people are more interested in something outside of their business.Usually the work a person does is not voluntary, but only for survival.But what he cares about in his spare time is what he chooses.In other words, he is most interested in things other than work.So it is easier and more effective to approach someone from outside the business than from the business.The more worthy of approaching a person, the more you should try to make further observations of the things he is interested in, so that you can deal with him and make him willing to provide you with something you want to know.For example, if you know someone who has been to the US, if you ask him about the US, he will be very happy or talk about a lot of things that happened in the US even if your purpose is just to ask about US immigration procedures, and he'll even tell you how fast the elevators in the Empire State Building go.

Regarding the realization of the same interests as others, experts have given four specific and feasible suggestions:

One is to find out what other people are interested in.

The second is that he should first acquire some knowledge about the things he is interested in.

The third is that you are also very interested in the things he has expressed interest in.

The fourth is to recite more classic proverbs, famous sayings and aphorisms, to have enough literacy, and to increase the connotation of speech.

In short, for people who are not familiar with them, and it is necessary to understand his personality and psychology as much as possible in a short period of time, it is necessary to pay attention to observe their non-verbal behaviors. This ability is very important for identifying talents.In the process of striking up a conversation, observe the attitude of the other party through the aspects of the other party's speech, sitting posture and interests, understand the other party's inner emotions, and communicate along the way of the other party's thinking. In this way, on the road of striking up a conversation, you can quickly gain the recognition and admiration of others , making the strike-up a success.

Further reading: The essentials of effective rapport
(1) Let yourself become a "friendly person of fate".Whether you are active or passive, letting the other party see that you are a person who is easy to get close to and is willing to make friends with is the first condition for a successful conversation.You should take the initiative to make eye contact with others, nodding slightly when your eyes meet, conveying respect and friendliness.In this way, those who are interested in you, and those you have a crush on, will be happy to get close to you.

(2) Find clues from the environment and speak gracefully.Take cues from the environment to make your opening appear generous and unobtrusive.For example, in a cafe, you can ask: "I'm here for the first time, are you too?" If you can politely add a sentence: "I'm sorry to bother you, may I ask..." before speaking, it will be more helpful. I like it!
(3) Praise a woman's temperament and affirm a man's ability.If you want to compliment the other person, it is best to target her temperament: "I appreciate a quiet and elegant girl like you..." If a woman wants to take the initiative to marry a man, from the perspective of asking for help, it is often easy to get a positive response: "I There is something wrong with my cell phone, can you please check it for me?" Men are usually happy to be given a chance to show their abilities.

(4) Hit east and west, attack quietly.When you see someone of the opposite sex you like, but it is not suitable to speak directly, you can first find someone of the same sex as the other party, start chatting, and turn up the volume: "Hi, hello! I am so-and-so, are you here alone? ?” This started the conversation between the two.

(5) Create opportunities to meet again.Don't forget to turn that initial connection into a long-term interaction.For example, simply and generously say: "It was a pleasure chatting with you today, and we will exchange ideas next time when we are free. Let's leave a contact information first!"

06．What to say when you meet someone

Strangers are people we didn't know and were not familiar with before. In the process of striking up a conversation, if we can "see what gods make divinations, see what people say", start from the different characteristics of the objects and say different words, thus creating a unique personality. A harmonious and harmonious atmosphere, so that you can say what you say to whomever you meet, will make the strike-up behavior a complete success.

There are two speaking objects, one is the speaker.Different speakers have different status, identities, personalities, hobbies, cultural levels, etc. Therefore, the same content can be expressed in different languages.The second refers to the listener.Different listeners also have differences in various aspects, which determines that the speaker should use different languages ​​to express according to the different situations of the listeners.This is the so-called speaking depends on the object.The so-called speaking depends on the object, first of all, you must understand the object.You are very familiar with family members, relatives and friends, and you will naturally notice different characteristics when speaking.But for people who meet for the first time, it is not so easy to do this.Gender and age are easy to see, but identity, occupation, cultural accomplishment, etc. must be understood through speech.Therefore, when meeting strangers, don't rush to speak first, but listen to what the other person has to say first.If the other party speaks straight and doesn't beat around the bush, you should be honest and honest, and say what comes to mind; if the other party is polite, you should also be gentle, kind, and humble; if the other party is depressed, and doesn't like to talk or listen, You should say a few words less, or not at all.In short, on the basis of understanding the object, the words spoken must be polite and appropriate.

In the process of striking up a conversation with a stranger, it is very important to pay attention to the identity of the person you are talking to. Ignoring this will often arouse the disgust of the stranger and may even cause unnecessary conflicts.When facing different people, you need to speak different words. The speaker must have extensive knowledge and the ability to accurately recognize people. For different objects, the way of speaking should also be different.If the object of the conversation is a "rogue", treat him as a "rogue"; if the object of the conversation is a gentleman, treat him like a gentleman.Only by speaking in different ways according to the different people you are talking to can you get better communication.Here are the most important points to note.

First, different cultural knowledge requires different speech

When a speaker with a high level of education treats an listener with a low level of education, he should not be mixed with white and white. In other words, he should use the most simple and clear language so that the other party can understand it immediately.When dealing with listeners with a similar or higher level of education, we must pay attention to a little language modification when speaking.In written works, if the author portrays a speaker with a low level, but if his words are very literary, it does not meet the speaker's cultural level.The reverse is also true.

Second, the status and status are different, and the speech is different

The same level of education, but due to the disparity in status and identity between the speaker and the listener, one should not speak too casually. The speaker should consider the identity of the other party and himself, and whether the listener can accept his opinion.Think before you speak.

Third, the relationship between the two parties is different, so there must be a difference in speaking
There are four kinds of relationships between the speaker and the listener, namely, equality, superiority, closeness, relatives and friends, etc. Although the speaker and the listener have the same cultural level and similar status, they should also consider the relationship between the two parties before speaking. .

Fourth, everyone has their own interests, so talk about topics that others are interested in
Those who are interested in others will be appreciated.Because we always like people who are interested in us.If you want to make people like you, if you want others to be interested in you, one thing you must pay attention to is to understand other people's interests and talk to them about the topics that interest them most.This can often connect the emotions of two people tightly together, and it is also a good way to break the deadlock and shorten the distance of communication.Talking about things that others are interested in is a pleasant way to get along with others.Although this method is very simple, once it is used, it can bring amazing effects, which shows the magical power of the method!

In short, a thousand people have a thousand personalities.This is indeed the case from the perspective of human personality diversity and differences.When you strike up a conversation with a stranger, learn what to say when you meet someone, and if you can say something that the other person is interested in, then the other person will be very grateful and feel honored.At the same time, you will achieve your goal.

Further reading: Ten tips for high-level speaking

(1) Find the right topic to resonate with the other party's heart.How can words move people's hearts?The easiest way is to talk about the topics that the other party is most interested in.Talking about what the other party is most interested in is equivalent to finding a channel for communication between the two parties, and you can resonate with them spiritually.

(2) From a high-rise building, grasp the key points to show a high level.In language communication, we must pay attention to the focus or main points of the speech, build a strategic plan, and clarify our thinking.On this basis, use various speaking skills, either to grab the head start, or to make some clever remarks, so as to be relaxed and orderly.In this way, your speech will definitely receive significant benefits.

(3) Be full of emotion, so that every sentence can touch people's hearts.Bai Juyi, a great poet in the Tang Dynasty, said: "There is nothing more touching than love!" To attract people's hearts, you must first be emotional, and you must be full of true feelings about your topic in order to truly move people's hearts and convince the audience.

(4) Be good at compliments, making people feel sweet.A decent compliment can give people strength and surprise.Whatever kind of person we associate with, we can find something to admire about him.Your praise will make the other party feel warm, and then promote the smooth progress of the communication between the two parties.

(5) Take the song as the straight, and the euphemistic language makes people feel pleasant.The same meaning can be expressed in different ways. When blunt arguments cannot convince others, clever twists are effective; When the resignation is unacceptable to others, euphemistic hints and clever extensions may make others unable to refuse.

(End of this chapter)