The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 15

There are three points to master self-introduction.One is self-knowledge.It is easy to know people, but difficult to know yourself.Self-knowledge is necessary in order to make an accurate assessment of yourself.Only by correctly treating the praise of others and strictly analyzing one's own shortcomings can one draw a realistic conclusion and make a convincing self-evaluation.The second is self-effacing.Modesty is a virtue in itself.When doing self-evaluation, you should leave room for it. It is generally not appropriate to use extreme words such as "very", "most", "extreme", and "first".This is just as Montesquieu said: "It's so boring to say a compliment from your own mouth." The third is to learn to laugh at yourself.Ridicule is ridicule, which is a kind of demeaning behavior.Self-deprecation is different. Self-deprecation includes self-explanation and masturbation.Using self-deprecation in self-introduction will reveal a little self-confidence and self-satisfaction in the humorous self-deprecation, which can not only enhance the humor of the speech, but also avoid boasting.

Fifth, say a good self-introduction conclusion

After introducing your brief situation, be sure to say something like "It's a pleasure to meet you on this occasion".It has two meanings: one is to express the pleasure of getting to know the other party; the other is to give the other party such a hint-I have introduced myself, and you can talk.Therefore, a complete and beautiful self-introduction must have at least two contents, namely your name and concluding remarks.

Sixth, understand the taboos of self-introduction

Do not break the taboo when introducing yourself on any occasion.To this end, we must understand what are the taboos of self-introduction.From practical experience, one is to introduce yourself blindly without distinguishing between objects.Including the upper three generations and the lower three generations in the content of self-introduction will make others lose focus on relevant information.The second is to brag about yourself blindly, to forcefully talk about things that have nothing to do with you, in order to show your brilliance.The third is false exaggeration and lies.This kind of self-introduction is to pull a big banner and make a tiger skin-deceive yourself and others, and you will lose people's trust over time.

In short, self-introduction is a beautiful pass for you to gallop freely in social situations.If you can use self-introduction correctly, you can not only expand your social circle and make friends, but also help self-presentation and self-promotion, eliminate misunderstandings and reduce troubles in communication.Self-introduction makes it easy for you to integrate into society, so start paying attention to self-introduction now.

Further reading: Make chatting up a habit

Picking up a conversation is a very beautiful thing, it can give us a lot of what we want.Before striking up a conversation, we must tell ourselves repeatedly: it is very simple to strike up a conversation, and the feeling of striking up a conversation is wonderful, if you cross this step, you will succeed.Get rid of that "paper tiger" lying in front of you!Maybe one day you will find that it's just a thought you scare yourself; when you drive it out of your heart, what you want will automatically find you!

In fact, as long as there is a target to strike up a conversation with, no matter a man or a woman, he can make himself very enthusiastic and strike up a conversation will become very natural.Therefore, we advocate the cultivation of chatting up as a habit.When chatting becomes a habit, any public place will become our stage, and all kinds of people walking on the stage are our goals.Stay alert at all times and pay attention to the crowd around you until the target appears.Picking up a conversation, success or failure, will bring us new experiences, new feelings, and new experiences.

05. Detect the psychology of the other party and increase the success rate of chatting up
In daily life, if you want to strike up a conversation with a stranger around you, you have to gain insight into his psychology through some expressions and actions of the other person, and even capture thoughts that are more realistic and ingenious than words.For example, if the other party hugs their arms, it means that they are thinking about a problem; if they hold their hands, it means that they are at a loss; when they walk with their heads down and their steps are heavy, it shows that they are discouraged; Playing with a handkerchief without saying a word, it shows that she has something to say in her heart, but she doesn't know where to start; leaning forward to listen to others' speech modestly, it shows that the other party is a truly confident and powerful person; shaking her legs is often Behaviors of restlessness and hard thinking about countermeasures; slight trembling of legs may be a sign of a relatively leisurely mood.

Of course, for insight into strangers, don’t just stay in silent observation. You must also take the initiative to take certain countermeasures to stimulate the other party’s emotions, understand the other party’s inner emotions, find out the other party’s points of interest, and proceed along the way guide.In this way, the efficiency of striking up a conversation will be very high.

First, observe the other party's psychology from speaking

In most cases, a person's deepest feelings, or opinions, suggestions and understandings of some things will be conveyed through words.If the chat-up seeker sees the information conveyed by the hit-up, and then analyzes, thinks, summarizes, and finally summarizes based on the information, then the hit-up will know what kind of person the hit-up is.This method is very straightforward.In addition, from several aspects such as tone, speed and attitude when the person speaks, we can also have a certain degree of understanding of his inner world.Specifically, the following methods can be adopted.

One is to perceive the other party's psychology from the topic.People often carry emotions out of a topic unconsciously.There are various types of topics. If you want to know the personality, temperament, and thoughts of the other party, the easiest way to start is to observe the relationship between the topic and the speaker himself. From these places, you can get more information you want .For example, when talking with middle-aged women, their topics are mostly themselves, because they think that they are their biggest concern.Sometimes they also talk about her husband or her children, because they regard their husbands and children as their own incarnations, and when they talk about them, they also talk about herself.Facing such a middle-aged woman, you have to appear in front of her as a listener and admit that they are virtuous wives and great mothers.Another example is when talking with younger people, their favorite topic is cars and so on.Magazines about cars sell as well as music and football magazines.Almost all the topics of young people involve topics related to the brand of the car, travel distance, speed, etc., although most of them cannot afford a car for the time being.In fact, they are so keen on the topic of cars, no doubt to show that they will be able to buy cars in the future, or to show that they know a lot about these things, this is also a fashionable topic, nothing more than to show their specialties .Therefore, you should concentrate on listening to them talking about the car, and it is best not to put on a very impatient look, then your patience will satisfy their vanity.

The second is to explore the "secret" revealed by the wording.Everyone feels that they are speaking and writing in their own words, but in fact they are borrowing others' words unconsciously.Conversely, by exploring this point, you can get a glimpse into the depths of the person's heart.For example, people who use No.1 to refer to the singular have strong independence and autonomy. People who often use the plural are more common in those who lack individuality, are buried in the group, and are echoing.Another example is that those who love to use difficult words or foreign languages ​​​​will be confused. In fact, such people mostly use words as a shield to cover up their inner weaknesses.When choosing a career, it is very necessary to fully demonstrate one's talents, but if you over-pretentious, you will appear superfluous. This effect of making others feel like a cloud is the most detrimental to yourself.Such a situation is nothing more than a disprovement of the inferiority consciousness of one's own intelligence, and it is nothing more than using words as a shield to cover up one's inferiority complex.

The third is to see his true thoughts from the way he speaks.People who keep raising their voices when speaking have stronger self-confidence, are more stubborn, willful, often self-righteous, don't like to be controlled by others, and always do whatever they want.No matter when he speaks, he speaks in a soft tone, and his attitude is calm and sure. No trace of impatience can be seen, and others don't feel disordered. It shows that this person has strong self-confidence and is ready to do things. He is straightforward and decisive, has his own unique thoughts, and is able to stick to his own opinions, and will not change easily unless he is forced to.Facing someone with ambitions, when he speaks, he will definitely cadence deliberately, showing a different feeling from the usual, showing a desire to attract others' attention.People who can take the initiative to speak in public are more extroverted, have strong self-confidence, and have the courage and courage to express their own ideas, express themselves, and try to influence others.People who are always in a passive position, stay in the corner and don't like to talk, generally speaking, their personality is more introverted, and they also lack self-confidence.Of course, there are some people who are more calm and experienced, and hope to hear good suggestions from other people's conversations and use them for themselves to better improve themselves.When talking with others, most of them are open-minded. They have the courage and guts to abandon old concepts and ideas. They have a strong ability to accept new things or new information. They have a competitive and aggressive mentality and are competitive. Desire, in some cases will appear very conceited.People who don't like to argue when talking with others are relatively closed and conservative, slow to accept new things, weak in competition and attack ability, mild in temperament, fond of mediocrity, and not keen on fighting for fame and fortune .People who like to correct others' mistakes in talking with others are mostly more active and confident, but because of their straightforward personality, they will ignore the other person's feelings, interrupt other people's conversations and become self-indulgent, which often hurts others, so , the interpersonal relationship is not very good to some extent.Those who do not correct other people's mistakes during the conversation, but wait until the end of the conversation to point them out, are very humble and polite, can stand in the position of others, consider each other, and give enough respect, so as to gain others' respect. recognition and affection.

The fourth is to see through the other party's psychology in an obedient way.If a person listens carefully, he will probably sit upright and keep looking at the other person.Sometimes it's just the opposite, his eyesight wanders, and his body may tilt or wobble, which is a sign of boredom.Some people listen carefully to every word of the other party, and when the speaker is about to finish speaking, he will also reveal his heart.From this point of view, the listener relies entirely on strong patience, combined with a curiosity, to finally break the speaker's secret.If you want to know about a certain person or information about a certain aspect, you should start with him on an ordinary topic, and then listen carefully, ask questions, listen carefully, and gradually achieve your ideal goal. Beware.On the contrary, sometimes he will think that you are a good listener and very understanding.

Second, through the sitting posture to see through the other party's psychology
After long-term observation and research, American psychologists found that sitting posture can reveal a person's psychology. Let's see how different sitting postures reveal your inner world.

One is to see through the other party's psychology in a deep sitting posture.As long as people relax, they will be very stable when sitting on the chair, and at the same time stretch out their feet, looking very leisurely, indicating that they will not stand up immediately.This can be seen from a lion or a horse: the lion is very fierce and powerful, so it can sleep every day, which seems to represent a kind of self-confidence.Lions like to prey on horses, so this kind of horses stand around nervously all day, but they still can't escape.Therefore, a person who sits deeply has an advantage spiritually, at least he hopes that he is condescending.And those who sit shallowly feel uneasy sitting in the position, showing a kind of disadvantaged appearance.

The second is to see through the other party's psychology in a shallow sitting posture.Those who sit shallow will unintentionally show a mentality of submitting to others. In front of such people, you must not show that you are too strong and arrogant, because their hearts will resist you.On the contrary, if you show friendliness or concern for him, he will definitely like you from the bottom of his heart and be willing to be close to you, which lays the foundation for expanding future relationships. of.If many people are willing to get close to you, this will give you an advantage. At least you have won in terms of interpersonal relationships. It is not so difficult for you to succeed in your work or your studies. Compliments from people or your superiors are not far away.

The third is to gain insight into the other party's psychology through other details of the sitting posture.Sitting with the toes close together and the heels separated, it means that you are prone to hesitation in doing things, and sometimes being too meticulous will affect your flexibility. You are used to being alone, and your communication is limited to those who you feel close to you; sit upright, with your feet together and slightly forward, The whole sole of the foot is on the ground, which shows that he is sincere, sincere, and open-minded. He is characterized by being methodical in doing things, but he is easy to be serious, strives for thoroughness and perfection, and sometimes even has a tendency to cleanliness. Crossed at the back is a typical sitting posture that controls emotions, tension and fear, and is very defensive; sitting with hands and feet open suggests that you may have a preference for everything, and you may have a commanding temperament or a dominant personality , may also be extroverted, sometimes ignorant of heights and heights; legs and feet keep shaking, and also like to shake the whole leg with feet or toes, showing selfishness, starting from the perspective of self-interest in everything, being very stingy to others, but very indulgent to oneself; Sitting with Erlang legs crossed, no matter which leg is placed on it, it is very natural, indicating that you are more confident, know how to live, and the interpersonal relationship around you is more harmonious; Sitting with Erlang legs crossed, and one leg is hooked to the other leg, it shows that you are a human being Cautious, reserved, not confident enough, even hesitant to do things.

Third, look for the other party's points of interest

Everyone has their own hobbies.Interests can be divided into two categories: one is interest in related things, and the other is interest in unrelated things.The so-called related things refer to things that you and others are interested in.When you strike up a conversation with a stranger, you often encounter such a situation, the other party is not listening to you, but is doing or thinking about something else; or is coping with the mouth, but the eyes keep looking Look elsewhere; or change the subject and talk nonsense with you.In such a situation, you should immediately change the topic and find out where the other party's points of interest are.Because striking up a conversation is to establish a good relationship, and it is most important to achieve the same interests of both parties.As long as both parties like the same things, then you can use this interest to make each other's feelings harmonious and build a beautiful interpersonal relationship between each other.

If possible, you should do everything you can to find out what interests him the most, and then approach him from there.If there is no chance, or such a good opportunity is not easy to get, then you should try your best to choose his greatest interest, and the main purpose is to make him interested in you.

(End of this chapter)