The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 12

Public morality refers to the simplest and minimum public life rules that citizens in society abide by in order to maintain the normal order of the entire social life.The content of social morality is extremely extensive, including caring for public property, observing public order, paying attention to public health, respecting the elderly and caring for the young, saving lives and helping the wounded, and being brave in doing justice.Observing public morality is a quality that a person should possess, and it is also a kind of politeness.In social life, everyone should consciously abide by social morality.Some people yell, violate traffic order, and spit everywhere in public places. These uncivilized behaviors mean that they do not abide by social morality and destroy the social atmosphere, so they should be condemned.Failure to abide by public morality means disrespecting others, and it is also disrespecting yourself, which is a manifestation of impoliteness.

Second, respect others

Politeness and etiquette are based on respect for others. Without respect for others, politeness and etiquette cannot be discussed.In social communication, everyone wants to be respected by others, and to get respect from others, we must first respect others.In social interaction, everyone is equal.People should respect each other.The kind of people who judge people by appearance, judge people by power, and dislike the poor and love the rich are the most despised by others. It is also annoying to be self-righteous, condescending or flattering when interacting with others.When you strike up a conversation with someone, you should respect their opinions, their labor, their legitimate rights, their personality, their hobbies and habits, don't make fun of or insult others, and don't impose your own hobbies and habits For others, don't judge others by your own likes and dislikes.

Third, be punctual and trustworthy

Observing time and keeping promises are the most common and most important politeness in modern interpersonal communication.In today's society, people's pace of life is accelerating, and it has become a common understanding that time is money and time is efficiency.In the process of communication, it is an extremely important polite behavior not to break the time and keep the appointment.Wasting other people's time is a great disrespect to others.Arrive on time or slightly earlier for an agreed party or social event.If it is really impossible to arrive as scheduled, the owner should be notified in advance so that he can make another arrangement.When dealing with people, you must keep your word, and you must do what you promise to others seriously, and do your best no matter what difficulties you have.If you have no ability to do something at all, don't agree to others casually, and don't reluctantly agree to other people's requests just because you want to save face or want to be competitive.If you agree to others but can't do it, it is more shameless than not accepting other people's requests, and it is very rude.In communication, people who do not keep their promises will eventually lose everyone's trust.

Fourth, be sincere and friendly

Treat people with sincerity and friendliness.Sincerity means to be sincere and sincere to people, open and upright, not false, duplicity, and falsehood.When others are in difficulties, they should stand up and help each other sincerely, without expecting anything in return.Friendliness means to treat others with kindness and friendliness, without malice, without calculating others, let alone deceiving or hurting others for personal gain.In order to please others, some people use rhetoric and hypocrisy. Although they can sometimes please others for a while, they still cannot gain their trust in the end.Some people judge people by appearance, judge people by status, and follow others, such people will be cast aside by people sooner or later.Treating people with sincerity and friendliness is really respect and courtesy to others.

Fifth, understanding and tolerance

Understanding is the bridge of interpersonal communication.Understanding others is manifested as being able to put yourself in the shoes of others, be considerate, and considerate of each other.When interacting with people, you must be good at observing the psychological changes of others, take the initiative to understand and care about others, and you have thought of things for him beforehand, and helped him do it, so that it is easy to communicate with others .Tolerance means being open-minded, magnanimous, and having a strong sense of tolerance and self-control.Only by understanding others can we be tolerant to others.Understanding others includes tolerating their shortcomings and mistakes, and even when there is conflict between the two parties, when the other party is irrational, we must tolerate it.Don't be tit-for-tat, and don't have to be reasonable, and you can wait for the other party to calm down before dealing with the problem in a reasonable, beneficial, and restrained manner.Sometimes magnanimity is a good way to solve problems.

Sixth, enthusiasm and generosity

When communicating with people, you should be enthusiastic and generous. Enthusiasm is a kind of sincere and warm feeling and a proactive attitude towards others.Enthusiasm can make people feel warm, kind, and give people a sense of intimacy.To treat people enthusiastically, we must be courteous, sincere in language, elegant in manner, generous in demeanor, and often smile.People who treat others with enthusiasm are willing to associate with them, and there will always be many friends around him.Some people treat others coldly, arrogant and willful, and the people around them are far away from them.To change this situation, we must strengthen the cultivation of manners.Enthusiasm towards people should be shown in a measured manner, but excessive enthusiasm is a kind of rudeness.For example, in order to please others, they use excessive language to flatter them; regardless of whether others can accept it, they endlessly persuade them to eat and drink, etc.Excessive enthusiasm can embarrass others and doubt your sincerity.At the same time, excessive enthusiasm will make people think you are frivolous and detrimental to personal dignity.

Seventh, pay attention to clothing and manners
A person's clothing and clothing often represent a person's identity, so pay special attention to your own clothing in interpersonal communication.For example, if a guest comes to visit and receives them in pajamas, it is disrespectful to the guest and should be treated neatly.If you wear pajamas when you open the door for the guests, you should ask the guests to wait in the living room and change into neater clothes by yourself.Clothes should be suitable for the environment and occasions, and dignified clothes should be worn on formal occasions.

Words and demeanor can also reflect a person's level of politeness.When going to strike up a conversation with others, you should consider the time, place, status, age and other factors of the strike-up.When going upstairs with a woman, the man should walk behind, and when going downstairs, walk in front; when meeting acquaintances, you should take the initiative to say hello, and when others greet you, you should respond immediately; Interrupt others, etc.These all reflect a person's politeness.People are always willing to interact with polite people, and do not want to deal with people who are not polite.

In short, a person's level of politeness will affect his success or failure in striking up a conversation.If we can develop the good habits of observing public morality, respecting others, being punctual and trustworthy, being sincere and friendly, understanding and tolerant, being warm and generous in our daily life, and interacting with others politely, then we will be able to strike up a conversation with ease. Ability to conquer others.

Further reading: Personal cultivation

Personal cultivation is the cultivation and cultivation of personal cognition, emotion, will, belief, words and deeds and habits.Only by consciously following the requirements of the social moral system, better fulfilling personal social obligations, and continuously improving the personal realm of life, can a person develop good inner qualities.

The important link of personal cultivation has a certain consistency with the structure of moral character and the process of moral education, which can be summarized as five aspects of "knowledge", "emotion", "will", "faith" and "action":
"Knowledge" refers to moral cognition, including the formation of moral concepts and the improvement of moral judgment.Establishing a correct moral understanding is the prerequisite for strengthening moral cultivation.

"Emotion" is moral emotion, which refers to people's emotional reactions to moral relations and behaviors in real life.

"Yi" means moral will, which refers to the effort and perseverance of people to make behavioral choices by self-learning to overcome all difficulties and obstacles in fulfilling moral obligations.

"Faith" is a moral belief, which refers to people's deep and well-founded sincere belief in a certain morality and the resulting strong sense of responsibility for this moral obligation.

"Practice" refers to habitualized moral behavior, which means that people consciously abide by moral principles and norms due to their own moral cultivation and become a daily behavior habit.

The goal of moral cultivation covers a wide range. Generally speaking, it includes how to be a loyal patriot, a dedicated collectivist, a socialist builder with ideals, and an inheritor of the excellent traditions of the Chinese nation. In short, it includes how to be a qualified citizen who abides by social morality, family virtues, professional ethics, and so on.

09．Clever strike up a conversation in the workplace, Hold live with new colleagues
Many newcomers to the workplace think that flirting is superficial and meaningless.If you think so too, it's a pity that you will lose many opportunities if you don't want to strike up a conversation!In fact, strike up a conversation in the workplace can help us in many ways.Picking up a conversation can relieve tension, increase a sense of teamwork, and help build bonds with each other.Picking up a conversation often becomes an icebreaker in business negotiations.A person who can chat with people sincerely, without showing off his professional knowledge, and aggressively contradicting others can make a good impression on people.Expertise is of course indispensable.But if a person is always showing off what he knows, it will definitely make others feel bored.The bottom line is that seemingly insignificant pickup skills are the cornerstone of your personal career success.If you want to make achievements in your career, you must have the ability to communicate.That is to say, no matter what topic is used to strike up a conversation with someone, as long as the method is appropriate, friendly communication can be carried out.

So, how do you boldly strike up a conversation with others in the workplace?If you imagine yourself to be a very passionate person, just do what a passionate person would do!
First, don’t worry about the shallow or meaningless topics you pick up

All topics are good for approaching, especially questions you asked yourself before joining the approach: "What did I observe? How have I been lately? What was I thinking in the elevator? How did I find this at the show or Other products? Which point attracted me the most in the meeting to demonstrate the proposal?” When striking up a conversation about these issues, you should talk about these things that are related to you, not necessarily things that you personally experienced.Also listen carefully and show your interest in what the other person has to say.

Second, strike up a conversation with people using friendly body language
About 75% of the information between two conversation partners is conveyed through eyes, facial expressions, gestures and voice.It doesn't matter if the content of the conversation has no substance, your other energetic and positive body language will leave a friendly impression on others.For that, you don't have to engage all your body language like "crazy."In fact, in our cultural consciousness, a core element of communication is eye contact.Being able to look at the communication partner friendly and express as naturally as possible is the most important goal of striking up a conversation.

Third, you should pay attention to avoiding some sensitive issues when you strike up a conversation in the workplace

Such as illness or other personal misfortunes, marital problems or partner problems, and so on.These questions are too burdensome for unfamiliar interlocutors.Some newcomers in the workplace may not realize that you have left a bad impression by telling people this abruptly.

Fourth, gossip about others behind their backs
In fact, doing so not only belittles yourself, but also brings the distress of suspicion: the next person to be discussed will be you.Talking about people behind their backs can complicate even a free-spirited conversation.Even in a party, your evaluation of the taste of the food or the service of the hospitality can easily make the person you communicate with nervous.These topics can be considered after the conversation is in-depth.

As a newcomer in the workplace, good interpersonal relationships can sometimes help you develop better at work.Since you just came here, everyone doesn't know what kind of personality you are, why don't you change yourself from now on and create an ideal image in front of your colleagues?
Further reading: How much do you know about etiquette in the workplace
(1) Don't just comment on other people's clothing taste, it is difficult to win the favor of others.On the contrary, in the process of striking up a conversation, interspersed with a few compliments, others will think you are very tasteful, and your demeanor will be improved accordingly.

(2) Language must be civilized.Picking up a conversation is a process of one person appreciating another person.If you open your mouth and shut up a lot of dirty words when you strike up a conversation, how can you get the appreciation of others?
(3) Never compare yourself with a friend or family member of the other party.Since they can become each other's friends, there is a reason for it.So, swallow words like "I am better than him", "I dress better than him", "His education is not as high as mine" and so on!

(4) Remember not to tell stories.Some strike-ups like to tell stories to each other when they have nothing to say, and sometimes a date becomes a story meeting.It is a good thing to be able to tell stories, but people want to know you when they talk to you, so save those wonderful stories and use them later!

(5) Don't ask about other people's privacy.When you meet for the first time, you just need to talk about some issues that everyone can accept, and don't involve other people's privacy.Don't ask "where is your home?", lest the other person think you have other plans.However, if the other person believes in you, then it's okay to ask.

(6) Determine the purpose of approaching the other party.After a lot of people hit up a conversation with others, they gradually disappeared.The problem is that on the day of hitting up a conversation, he can know his purpose, and then he forgets it completely, and then gradually forgets the person being hit up.This is the fatal flaw of the strike-up person, so this must be understood.

(End of this chapter)