The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 13

The devil strikes up a conversation to help you become a communication expert
——Don’t worry about making friends all over the world, saving invisible wealth is easy

It is no exaggeration to say that every stranger in life may become our friend, the key lies in whether we can strike up a conversation bravely and make friends with them.If you can use the skills you have learned to strike up a conversation with the people around you, they will surely surprise you.Stop treating people around you as strangers, that will only hold you back.To make your life different from now on, please step into the chat room with me.

01. When you meet strangers, you have the courage to strike up a conversation before you have friends
Human beings are emotional animals that live in groups. In our subconscious mind, we hope that more strangers can know us and believe in us, so as to achieve the purpose of mutual communication.The countless strangers we meet every day are potential important resources and may become our friends.In daily life, being able to actively strike up a conversation with strangers around us will have an important impact on our lives.

First, strike up a conversation with strangers around you to exercise a person's communication skills

When a stranger is in front of you, you must know what you want to say to him and what you want from him.It depends on a person's ability to strike up a conversation.While strangers are not necessarily friends, they are not necessarily enemies either.Therefore, when you communicate with others, you should try to understand them as much as possible, including character, personality, hobbies, etc., so as to avoid many unnecessary troubles.

Second, striking up a conversation with strangers around you is a good way to exercise your social skills
In today's society, the circle of life is often regarded as the standard to measure a person's talent.Our life circle expands outward consciously or unconsciously, therefore, such an intersection circle naturally arises between us and strangers, and this intersection circle is constantly affecting our lives.Getting along well with strangers is also an opportunity to expand your network.When the relationship between strangers and oneself is shortened, it also means that the distance between oneself and success is shortened.You should know that those acquaintances, those relatives and friends only represent the scope of your current contacts, and making more new friends, that is, strangers, can continuously expand your circle of friends and inject new vitality and motivation into your life and career.

Third, strike up a conversation with strangers around you, which may turn them into business partners and a strong support for career success

As the saying goes, "Rely on parents at home and friends outside." If a person wants to be successful, he needs a large group of people to support him.But why should others support you?That depends on whether you will use the win-win law.The win-win rule is a win-win model in interpersonal relationships, that is, if you help others, others will always be happy to help you.Such a "win-win" will obviously benefit your career.A person's interpersonal relationship is often linked to popularity.Therefore, those who are well-connected are more likely to get help from their connections and achieve success in career and life.It can be seen that meeting new friends is a necessary means for a person to achieve greater achievements.It can even be said that without strangers, we will accomplish nothing.Also, sometimes strangers can do things that friends can't.Needless to say, we all know this.

Fourth, strike up a conversation with strangers around you, it is possible to meet the opposite sex and become friends, and even enter the palace of marriage
Strictly speaking, people are strangers, especially strangers of the opposite sex.This makes it even more necessary to strike up a conversation.You can get acquainted with the opposite sex, and then attack each other to win your perfect love.In fact, there are countless happy marriages that started with a brave first strike, the list goes on and on.

Since it has been mentioned above, we should actively start to strike up a conversation and get to know the strangers around us.Of course, the society we live in is changing every day, because we have to accept new things, so how to contact strangers in good faith has become a topic that must be faced.Generally speaking, good-faith communication is based on the premise of equal contact, which can be for the purpose of making friends, or contact with interests.For example, business contacts are exchanges of interests. Sometimes people realize that the customers in their business are not familiar to them, and they need to rely on their own ability to contact them. Good contact may lead to a transaction soon .

In short, if you have more friends, people from all walks of life, then your career will have the opportunity to extend to various industries, where you can get real gold.The so-called "it's easier to travel when you have more friends", I think everyone understands this truth.Hurry up and take the initiative to get to know strangers around us, so that you can make your heart stronger and let your career and love have a good harvest!
Further reading: Understanding the Psychological Skills of Strangers

(1) Understand each other through eyes.People who look at each other with soft eyes and smile naturally and relaxed are calm and confident in their hearts; people who stare directly at each other with wide open eyes and exaggerated expressions have a desire to express themselves; Rather arrogant.

(2) Understand each other through sight.People with gentle and natural eyesight are calm and confident in heart; people with non-stop moving eyes are absent-minded, or like to calculate, and are good at observing words and expressions; Someone who looks up at someone may be in awe, looking up may indicate arrogance; someone who looks directly at someone with wide open eyes is likely to be energetic, or controlling, if not hostile.

(3) Get to know each other through the strength of the handshake and the humidity of the palm.A person with a short, firm handshake is enthusiastic and confident, a light handshake is absent-minded or lacking in confidence, and a person who shakes their arms constantly has a tendency to compliment the other person.If the opponent's palm is wet, it means that the opponent's spirit is in a state of excitement and psychologically unbalanced.

(4) Get to know each other through talking.Speech speed: the speaking speed has been slow, suddenly becomes rapid and rapid, often because of anxiety or fear in the heart, and wants to express things quickly to get relief; similarly, has been eloquent, suddenly becomes hesitant or talks all the time If you don't get the point, or suddenly go on and on, etc., you must pay attention.Tone: Raising the pitch of speech indicates that a person wants to suppress the opponent in momentum when expressing objections; on the contrary, when people are calm, depressed, or contemplative, they tend to lower their pitch.Rhythm: People who are confident, open-minded, and optimistic have a sense of rhythm in their speech; on the contrary, if a person often speaks tongue-tied and incoherent, he probably lacks self-confidence or has ghosts in his heart.If a person speaks in an orderly manner, it means that he has a clear understanding of what he is talking about, a firm stand, and is not afraid of the other party's refutation; on the contrary, people who are in a hurry to end the conversation, or who hesitate and ambiguous, are mostly unwilling to take responsibility and behave in a smooth manner .

(5) Get to know each other through behavior.Hand posture: The hand is the most likely part to express people's habits.For example, some people like to intentionally or unintentionally play with ties, pens, nose picking, stroking hair, breaking joints, etc. Their hands are always busy, such people are unstable and immature; people who cover their mouths with their hands when laughing Feminine; people with too many gestures have a strong desire to express, or they are active in thinking and eager to express.Sitting posture: People who keep their knees close together when sitting down are more restrained and cautious; people who spread their legs apart are informal; people who like to cross their legs have a strong desire to control and hope to gain a sense of superiority; they are used to resting their feet like nervous People who shake, reach forward, and tilt up prefer to attract attention, saying that they "don't care about it".Standing posture: bowing, bowing back and looking at the other party, a "humpbacked" person, lacks self-confidence and assertiveness, eager to please the other party; likes to hold the bag in both hands and hang in front of the body, standing upright like a waiter Most people think they have a good image, and they value other people's impressions of them.Walking posture: People who walk fast and have long strides are generally impatient; people who walk around and panic may like to calculate; people who walk slowly and always like to walk against the corner are silent introverts, or have a tendency to feel inferior ; People who like to put their hands in their trouser pockets, hoping to attract attention.

02. You have the skills to strike up a conversation and mingle with strangers

Many people meet some friends who they are interested in and have a good impression of in real life, so how should they get along with them as soon as possible?The person to strike up a conversation with is a stranger. Therefore, for those who want to strike up a successful conversation, it is not only as simple as knowing what kind of person they want to find, but also to strengthen their study at the technical level. First, master some common methods of striking up a conversation , and pay attention to mastering skills on this basis, so as to effectively strike up a conversation, in order to achieve real success.

Generally speaking, the skills of striking up a conversation are universal.It is recommended to try the following methods first.

First, polite language and sincerity

Politeness is an emotional outpouring of respect for others, and it is the wire that connects the two parties in the conversation.People have a keen sense of politeness.Sometimes, even a simple "you" and "please" can make people feel a kind of warmth and kindness.

In a conversation, as long as there is sincerity, even if you don’t talk much, the other party may not be disgusted. Not being good at words is not a serious shortcoming. Deliberately looking for words without words will be self-defeating.Just be yourself, don't be too nervous, listen to her when you have nothing to say, just keep smiling and listen carefully.

Second, find common ground
I have to admit that there are too many things in common between people, such as joy, anger, sorrow, joy, and even vanity, inferiority, embarrassment, etc. These feelings will occur in everyone's mind, but the degree is different.The reason why people can communicate with each other is because they have these things in common.If you want to do a good job and make breakthroughs in interpersonal relationships, including love, workplace, etc., you have to use some methods to find those valuable common ground.

One is to observe carefully and find common ground.A person's mood, mental state and living habits can be seen from his clothing, manners, and conversation.See what the other person has in common with you before starting a conversation.For example, if the other party wears a pair of Nike air-cushioned sneakers like you, you can start your conversation with the topic of Nike shoes; the other party likes to use the new iPhone as you do, you can start your conversation with this model.

The second is to test with words.Two strangers are relatively speechless. In order to break the silence, they must first speak. You can use a soliloquy, such as "it's too hot", and the other party may take the initiative to answer when they hear this sentence and continue the conversation. You can also start with an action, and do something casually for the other party, such as pushing down the suitcase, etc.; you can also discover the characteristics of the other party's accent, such as hearing the other party's Shanghai accent, just say "Shanghai people", and the topic can start.When you find out that the person sitting next to you at a party is a stranger, introduce yourself before starting the conversation, and then there are all kinds of ways to start.If you're a very shy person, you can put this in your head before you go to the party.If the party organizer has told you something about him, you can say, "I know your team won the finals last week, that must have been great!" If you don't know anything about him, you can say : "Are you living here or are you a tourist?" From his answer you can expect to start the conversation.He may ask where you live, what occupation you do, etc.Very simple, but be careful to give him the opportunity to talk.

To talk to strangers, you must first find common ground, and by finding common ground, you must equate yourself with the other party.Human beings have a tendency to believe in "our own people".An experienced talker always makes his tone, volume, and rhythm match the other party, and even the sitting posture tries to give the other party a psychological intimacy.For example, sitting side by side is more psychologically intimate than sitting opposite each other, and sitting with your back straight is more respectful than sitting leaning.

Third, be good at choosing conversation opportunities and conversation content

A person speaks more convincingly in a familiar environment than in an unfamiliar one.The results of anything can be divided into three types: good, medium, and poor, and striking up a conversation is no exception.The strike-up targets we encountered can be roughly divided into three categories: those with a particularly friendly attitude, you can ask whatever you want; those with a particularly bad attitude, it is useless to say anything; It is not very repulsive to strike up a conversation, but if you want them to leave your phone number, there must be sufficient reasons. Your conversation will determine their evaluation of you.So, in a sense, the next 5 to 10 minutes of conversation after the "hello" is like an interview, where the other party is the examiner and you are the candidate, and after passing the test, you will have more opportunities.Before that, your relationship and status were not equal, and what you should and should not say was absolutely particular.Therefore, chatting up looks like chatting, but it is not.

If you are afraid that you will be boring, read as many newspapers or magazines as possible, and find an interesting topic to study, such as environmental protection, which must be of concern to everyone.Your wealth of knowledge will not only bring you into the conversation, but also impart interesting information.

Fourth, be good at observing the other person's eyes and discovering the other person's temperament and character
In non-verbal communication, eyes play an important role. Eyes can best express thoughts and feelings and reflect people's psychological changes.When you are happy, your eyes are bright; when you are sad, your eyes are dull; when you are focused, your eyes are fixed; when you are surprised, you are dumbfounded;In other words, all psychological activities of a person will be revealed through the eyes, which is difficult to fake.For this reason, the talker can understand the changes in the person's psychological state by observing the subtle changes in the eyes of the other party.

For example, if you talk to a "passionate" person, you will find that the other person has strong emotions; casual.In short, different ways of talking should be adopted for people with different temperaments and personalities.

In the process of striking up a conversation, the other party may behave insincerely, playful or hesitant out of certain motives.To do this, make it as clear as possible that what you want is real, so that you can get real, reliable information from the conversation.

Fifth, listen patiently and be good at responding

When talking, you should be good at using your posture, facial expressions, interjections and interjections.Things like a slight smile, a nod of approval, etc., will make the conversation more harmonious.Avoid looking left and right, absent-minded, or looking at your watch from time to time, stretching, etc.

If the other party is particularly worried or troubled by something, you should first say with understanding: "I understand your feelings, if I were you, I would do the same." In this way, the other party will feel your feelings for the other party. Be respectful, thereby creating an atmosphere of sympathy and trust that will make your counsel more effective.

Sixth, use the method of soliciting advice skillfully
Asking for advice is an important skill in a conversation starter.For example, you might ask an avid gardener, "I'd like to replace annuals in my garden with perennials, what would you recommend?" For someone who works from home or an office, you might ask, "I'd like to buy A fax machine. Do you have any good recommendations?" If there is no response, ask the other person's point of view.It's safe to ask the other person's point of view on anything, including politics, sports, the stock market, fashion and local news, all of which are fine, but don't ask about heated or contentious topics.

Seventh, make good use of your voice

(End of this chapter)