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Chapter 289 In this life, it’s up to you

Chapter 289 In This Life, It Must Be You (Part [-])
②The deep night is always easy to make people miss the past, or be sad, or grateful, or regret, or cry bitterly.

I used to be a person who loved nothing, nobody, including myself.

It's not that I didn't think about loving others.love yourself.I have also treated others well.But in the end it was all betrayal.No one will love me at all.

After knowing this truth, I feel more and more that in this world, we can live the same with or without love. Without love, not only will we not die, but we will live better.

So at least 14 years passed in a daze, until I met Lu Jinnian.

Sometimes I think, if I hadn't met Lu Jinnian, my life would be completely different.I don't know why.God knows how bad things will be waiting for me.

Some time ago I met a guy online, the gender is unknown.The man said I was a gentle person.

gentle person?

At that time, Lu Jinnian, the personnel who popped up in front of my eyes at the first time.If someone really thinks that I will give people the illusion of gentleness at some point, it is also because of Lu Jinnian.

Without Lu Jinnian, my life should still be dark and cold, and I will continue to live in a crippled manner.

but.

I don't want to go back to my old life.

Because I know I can never go back.

So I can't let go of Lu Jinnian's hand, even if there is no end in sight.

③When I was graduating from primary school, someone gave me a hanging painting, which was about a young monk, and the Zen language was muddling along, not contending with the world.At that time, I didn't understand these things, and I guess the person who sent them was the same.But I'm always happy when someone gives me a gift.However, when I moved, the hanging paintings were lost.Thinking of this moment now, the feeling in my heart is nothing more than that.I didn't do what the Zen language said, I just remembered that I had received gifts from others.

I am such an out-of-date person, always unable to express my true inner thoughts.

Maybe Lu Jinnian's opinion is also right: I am indeed not a girl, my thoughts are not delicate, and my behavior is not gentle.Only this face looks better.But what's the use, Lu Jinnian didn't care.

but.

Even so, I wouldn't have the idea of ​​"I knew it was so stumbling, why didn't I know each other at the beginning".I do not regret.Even, I am grateful that I met Lu Jinnian that day, in fact, I was saved by him, regardless of body and mind.

So in fact, I should repay him.Rather than asking for or causing trouble to him.

I'm a little bit off now.However, I can only secretly say to the stars all over the sky at night like this: Lu Jinnian, I'm sorry.

I won't tell him, don't blame me.I won't say, please be nice to me.Won't even tell him I've always loved you.

Because I know these things are useless now.

Lu Jinnian now loves someone wholeheartedly.His kind of mood and I love him the same.So I'm not going to make fun of myself.But that doesn't mean I'm giving up.

Before I met Lu Jinnian again, my life was a mess and meaningless.I know very well that although I am alive, I am just a walking dead.

And now if I have to give up Lu Jinnian, then I would rather die.

I don't need his promise, and I also need his pity. I just want him to live within my sight, so that I can know his recent situation at any time.

(End of this chapter)

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