don't mess with me

Chapter 113
I was stunned when I heard this, escaped marriage?The gods also escaped marriage?

The relationship between He Xiangu and Lu Dongbin is a little tired, I can see it, but I didn't expect it to be this serious. This is a routine in a romantic comedy!

I asked, "Why did Brother Bin run away?"

He Xiangu's nose was not her nose, her face was not her face, and she said, "I was about to ask this question too."

Zhong Liquan tugged at me and motioned me to go outside with him.

When I arrived in the courtyard, I couldn't help asking the first sentence: "Who is Xiaosan?"

"what?"

"Bingo must have a reason for running away from marriage, isn't it because he fell in love with someone else?"

Zhong Liquan shook his head and said: "Really not, we Eight Immortals get along day and night, Chunyang has no chance to meet other women at all." Firstly, we are afraid that something will happen to her, and secondly... I want to find out about it, too." It turned out that the old man was also puzzled.

I scratched my head for a long time, but naturally I couldn't think of a reason. Now it seems that Lu Dongbin's arrival is indeed strange. In his original words, I can't beat him. He jumped down to the human world by himself. own fiancée.

Zhong Liquan sighed and said: "If you say that my two apprentices can be regarded as childhood sweethearts, I don't know why Chunyang suddenly... I, an old man who has been enlightened for many years, has gradually abandoned the emotions and desires of the world—" He looked at me coldly and said, " Xiaoqiang, are you married?"

"no, what happened?"

"Help me analyze and analyze. What would be the reason for a man to suddenly run away before the wedding?"

"Uh, if you have to run, unless the bride is too ugly."

"Xiaoxiang, she..."

I waved my hand and said, "Sister Xiangu is a rare beauty even if she is not as good as Lan Caihe, it shouldn't be because of this."

Zhong Liquan and I pondered over each other with sullen heads, but there was still no answer. I spread my hands and said, "I can only use the words in the movie to explain—that is, I don't love suddenly. If I don't love, I don't love anymore. The two of you will find the right one for you, and you will still be friends in the future. Anyway, the old eight of you can’t fly solo anymore. It’s meaningless for the Eight Immortals to become the Seven Immortals. The eight of you have to take photos together on New Year pictures, calendars, etc. reprint."

Zhong Liquan said with a heavy heart: "Xiaoxiang is stubborn, so she may not be able to get over this hurdle."

I looked around and said, "How about I give you a beaker of hot water?"

Zhong Liquan wondered, "What are you doing with the hot water in the beaker?"

I instructed him: "Let He Xiangu hold it, and when she lets go, tell her 'you will learn to let go when it hurts', you are all practitioners, maybe she will have an epiphany as soon as she hears it?"

Zhong Liquan said speechlessly: "Who did you learn this method from?"

"Zen Master."

"What if she doesn't let go?"

"She...I'll boil the water for you!"

Zhong Liquan chuckled and said: "With Xiaoxiang's temperament, firstly, she may not be willing to let go, and secondly, letting her know that you came up with this idea may not be good for you."

"Ahem, just listen to me as soon as I tell you."

Zhong Liquan said seriously: "After you see Chunyang, let him think about it. Just hiding like this is not the way to go. What's the point of running away after seeing the master?" I saw Lu Dongbin with me.

"Hey, OK." I looked at the old man and said, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Say."

"Didn't you use the plantain fan in the legend?" The greatest thing about the Eight Immortals is that the eight immortals have no sense of existence. The weapons they use are all remembered, such as Han Zhongli's plantain fan and Tieguai Li's gourd. .

Zhong Liquan fanned the fan on his chest and said, "What's wrong?"

"Then what's the matter with your gourd?"

"What happened to the gourd?"

"Shouldn't you descend to the world with a plantain fan?"

Zhong Liquan slapped the fan twice and said, "This thing can't handle the wind, you want to throw me to death?"

"Uh, when you crossed the sea..."

"When crossing the sea, you can take advantage of the wind and slip forward. Let me see if you slip when you fall down?"

"Then do you mean to admit that Tieguai Li's gourd is superior to your cattail fan?"

"You can't say that. A fan can cool you, but can a gourd do it?" Zhong Liquan waved his hands when he saw me smiling ambiguously, "It doesn't matter. Didn't you say that I am a master? Why would a master care about the world's opinions? , use a gourd when it’s time to use a gourd.”

"Yes, next time someone asks you this question, you can ask him to use a flat-head screwdriver to screw the cross-head screw, and with what you said just now, it will be more like a master." After talking nonsense, I wanted to He stopped talking, "I have another question, if the question is not right, you have to keep it secret for me."

Zhong Liquan smiled and said, "I know that people in the world both worship and misunderstand us gods. If you have any questions, feel free to talk about them."

"Well... you not only have to keep it a secret for me, but you can't be angry if you offend me."

"Speak, speak."

"No, or I won't ask."

"You want to divination the future?"

"No."

"Then you want to ask immortals?"

"Not at all."

Zhong Liquan was also anxious: "Don't tell me I'm leaving!"

I grabbed him and said, "Is that Lan Caihe a man or a woman?"

Zhong Liquan was disappointed and said, "That's all you're asking?"

"Yes."

"What do you think?"

I told the truth: "If it weren't for his flat chest, I would have thought he was a woman."

Zhong Liquan said with a smile: "Of course Lan Caihe is a man."

I murmured: "That's too monstrous, don't say that he didn't leave a way out for men, he stole all the limelight from women!"

Zhong Liquan said: "Caihe used to be very ordinary in appearance, but after he practiced a kind of Taoism, he became more and more handsome."

I grabbed Zhong Liquan and said, "What Taoism?" This has to be asked. For a person like me with a face of 60+, it is still necessary to practice and improve the recognition. The biggest feature of my appearance is Ordinary, when my mother took me to the streets, I was most afraid that I would get into the children. Whenever there were more than 5 children, my mother would be like a big enemy. As long as I mixed in, it would be nothing, and it would not be good when I grew up. How much, my appearance is so ordinary that I can slip into the crowd without being noticed even in a women's bikini in winter. It is definitely their loss that the various secret service organizations did not let me participate—of course, it may be because they can't find me for the sake.

Zhong Liquan said: "Cai and him are practicing a Taoism called 'Phase from the Heart'. He believes that through inner cultivation, one can change one's appearance."

"Do I still practice this kind of thing?"

"Then you have to ask Caihe to go."

"Excuse me!" I ran into the house as fast as I could.

Lan Caihe is studying the fish tank on the cabinet—from my many contacts with ancient people, I found that what they are most interested in after they came to the modern technological society is often not cars or electric lights, but transparent things.

I grabbed Lan Cai and said: "Brother Lan, I have always liked you the most among the Eight Immortals!"

Zhong Liquan laughed behind him without saying a word.

"Oh, really?" Lan Caihe said, turning his face that could kill Lee Jun Ki and Jang Geun Suk to pieces.

"Really, really!" I let go of his hand subconsciously - I'm still a little dizzy when I get in close contact with such a beautiful man.I cut to the chase and said, "Brother Lan, teach me two-handed beauty tricks."

Lan Caihe also seemed to understand my purpose of flattering him, and said with a slight smile, "Do you believe in love?"

I propped my chin and said, "Look at it, I've seen people who are ugly but do good deeds." I'm not superstitious about looks, and I tend to have negative emotions towards good-looking people when I grow up. , Isn't Hugo's "Notre Dame de Paris" written to criticize the Appearance Association?
Lan Caihe said: "Of course, the 'appearance' referred to here does not refer to appearance, but more to a kind of aura. Only people with a kind and pure heart have a comfortable aura."

I wonder: "It's too abstract, can you be more specific?"

"To put it simply, it means to be open-minded, have no evil thoughts, and don't think about dirty things."

"Is this going to make you prettier?"

"No, of course it still needs certain means of cultivation. Why is Xiaoqiang interested in my Taoism?"

"Yes! What else am I doing for half a day? I want to make myself more handsome, even if I am called an embroidered pillow." Some pillows have nothing inside, and there are no flowers on the outside. I am like this now Pillow.

Lan Cai reconciled: "Then my method should be suitable for you. The person selected by the Heavenly Doll must not be a bad person."

I said excitedly: "Brother Lan, you promised to teach me? Tell me what I should do—let's put it in a simpler way."

Lan Caihe said: "In the early days, you just need to remember the eight words 'Keep kind thoughts in your heart and help others'. After reaching a certain level, you will find that you have become different. At that time, I will teach What are you going to do next?"

"It's fun to help others with kind thoughts in your heart!" I said it several times, and asked Lan Caihe, "Is it because you don't leave a name for your good deeds?"

"almost."

I am so regretful that my intestines are green. The teacher who co-authored our elementary school "Ideology and Morality" class is the greatest beautician.

Lan Cai said harmoniously: "Remember, the more beautiful your heart is, the more beautiful you are. Don't have distracting thoughts, and don't let unclean thoughts invade."

I nodded vigorously: "Yes, I will try my best."

At this time, He Xiangu said: "If you don't take me to see Lu Dongbin, I won't force you. You can ask him for me when he will show up. Are you going to be a coward like this?"

I thought to myself that this woman really thinks of a man and thinks of being crazy once she turns [-], but I immediately realized that this might be a "dirty" thought, so I forced myself to say in my heart: This is love!

When Lan Caihe sent me out, I couldn't help asking him for the last time: "Brother Lan, your method will definitely work, right?"

Lan Caihe thought for a while and said, "Actually, why do you need to be utilitarian in everything? Wouldn't it be good to take this opportunity to temper your heart?"

I said with a sad face: "Don't be vague, I'm a utilitarian person." Liposuction is for weight loss, and bone reduction is for thinning the face. I did it with the mentality of plastic surgery. People who sprinkle flowers learn.

Lan Caihe saw that I was going to shrink back, and hurriedly said: "It will definitely work!"

I said cautiously, "Why don't I believe it?"

Lan Cai reconciled: "Then let me put it this way - I used to be uglier than you."

"really?"

"What do I have to say to make you believe me?"

"A lie has pimples on your face, you swear!"

"Okay, I swear."

I breathed a sigh of relief: "This time I believe it."

(End of this chapter)