flowers on stars

Chapter 10 Flower·Never give up
The flowers that bloom in the sky and on the stars do not want their tears to be seen.They live so proudly that they try to make you think happiness is a smile on your face.

[Wedge·Only Sky's Photobook]
After that missed but still warm Christmas, she brought him a belated Christmas present, a thick photo book.

The small photos are exquisitely cut, row by row, like the most original film of a movie. In the picture, there are dark blue, light blue, dark gray, plain white, and various colors of the sky.So many skies, frame by frame, seem to meander into a galaxy of time.

Below each small frame of photo is the date it was taken.She said there were too many photos to put them all down, so she picked out only a few days that she remembered clearly.

He found that her ability to remember certain details was amazing, but she said that when she was in school, she couldn't learn the subjects that required strong memorization.

She spread the photo book on his lap, sat beside him like a kitten and explained to him.

It was raining lightly in the sky that day. It was clear that it rarely rained lightly in that city. Sometimes when a typhoon crossed the border, it would be torrential rain.She was walking leisurely on the street alone, and met a peddler selling cotton candy, she bought a pink cotton candy, because it rained and the business was not good, the peddler gave her another blue one.

On that day, the sun was too strong in the sky, which made people's skin red. She went to the private orchard of her classmates with her classmates, and found that some trees were blooming, while others were fruiting. She thought, ah, so the fruit is not sweet. , has nothing to do with whether its appearance is beautiful or not.

That day the sky was very blue, she missed him, wondered where he would be and when he would meet again, she even covered her quilt and cried secretly.

……

He has been listening to her quietly, without saying a word, with a gentle expression.

Later she raised her head and asked him: Feng Xin, have you still taken pictures of the sky all these years?
He knew that her habit of taking pictures of the sky originated from him. He was still a teenager at that time, and when he pointed the camera at the sky, he could always feel the eyes of the girls behind him.

But at that time, he was so proud that he didn't need to know who was who.

It's just how he will tell her many years later that he has long since stopped doing this thing. Of course, maybe he has given up far more than this, and there are more.

She finally had a chance to ask him: At that time, why did you like to take pictures of the sky?
She photographed the sky just because the sky reminded her of him, but she didn't know why he photographed the sky.

He thought for a while and said: Because at that time, I felt that when I looked up at the sky, I would become very small, and my troubles and loneliness would also become very small.

But then I realized that when you lower your head again, the problem in front of you will not disappear, nor will it become smaller, it is still so big, lying in front of you, on your way, you don’t know if you can get over it, you Still powerless about many things.

He said softly: Ever since Feng Xun died, I felt that I was not worthy to take pictures of the sky.

That was the first time he mentioned Feng Xun in front of her.

He obviously had a calm expression, but she stubbornly felt that he was crying.

She pressed her face lightly against his arm, her thin fingers gripping his sleeve tightly.

25. There is still one person in this world, believe in you like me
After New Year's Day, the anticipation of the New Year begins to appear on everyone's face. When walking on the street or shopping in the supermarket, you will hear people's small complaints about the busy work at the end of the year and the happy arrangements after the holiday.

Our company's work rhythm has also begun to enter a crazy mode. In addition, the series of picture books developed by our group are going to be fully launched during the Spring Festival, grabbing the first wave of young parents' attention on their children's education investment in the new year, so the final publicity is already racing against time. In the evening And working overtime on weekends has become the norm.

On Saturday, I made an appointment to go back to my parents' house for dinner with Ruosu, and at four o'clock in the afternoon, she drove to the company to pick me up.

As soon as the dangerous period of the first three months of pregnancy passed, this restless little rabbit began to be arrogant, driving shopping and going out to invite dinner, living a happy life.

We talked and laughed all the way home.

Parents still live in the original unit community.

Since I moved here in the third year of junior high school, it seems that time has stood still and nothing has changed.

Pet dogs taking a leisurely walk at dusk, old people gathering under a big tree and hanging a lamp on a wire playing cards, and acquaintances on bicycles pass by from time to time, calling out our nicknames, but we don’t necessarily recognize them anymore The other party looks like.

All the buildings are not high, and some of the outer walls have been mottled and covered with dense vine prints, but the rows of houses are still neat and clean, and there are centuries-old trees between the buildings from time to time. It will also be a little cooler because of this.

When walking between the buildings, the windows on both sides came from the windows on both sides of the joyful sound of hot oil being poured into the pan and the clashing sound of spatulas, accompanied by the tempting aroma of rice.

Ruosu parked the car outside the community and walked in slowly with me.

When she walked downstairs to our house, she suddenly said to me: "Sister, Mom will probably ask about that matter today."

My heart skipped a beat.

The mother wearing a floral apron is busy in the kitchen, and the father is still stuck in the old sofa watching the news. As soon as Ruosu enters the room, he starts to catch his father acting coquettishly and teasing him. I will help my mother serve the dishes.

My mother didn't pay much attention to me, and the spatula was shaking loudly. Since I came back, there always seemed to be a faint gap between us, mother and daughter, but never once, it was as obvious as this.

I feel uneasy about all kinds of strike-ups I please.

My mother has a fiery temper. Although when I was young, I was always envious of women who exhaled like blue, and gave me and Ruosu such elegant names, but in fact, our childhood was always yelled at by my mother. spent in the sound.And Dad is a parent who doesn't talk much, but is very serious when he gets angry.

The mixed doubles that Ruosu and I have endured due to various reasons when we were young are innumerable.

But my mother is a good mother, and my father is also a good father. Ruosu and I grew up without any regrets or shortcomings because of the strictness of our parents. Our parents are just and enthusiastic, kind and hardworking. They have worked hard all their lives. An inconspicuous little person, but retains a self-esteem that shines like gold.

Four years ago, after her mother underwent a major operation, she restrained her temper a lot. The atmosphere like today obviously has something big to do.

I guess my mother must have heard some bad rumors, but I dare not ask.

After all, my mother couldn't hold her breath, she suddenly threw the shovel, turned off the gas, turned around and glared at me.

I was startled, and bowed my head guiltily.

Ruosu ran over immediately when she heard the strange movement, followed by her father.

Mom sneered.

"Both of you have grown up, so don't ask your mother's opinion on any big matters."

Ruosu clings to her mother, her small voice is sweet: "Mom, what are you talking about, my sister and I listen to you the most."

While talking, he winked at me.

I don't know how to cooperate. I have been clumsier than Ruosu since I was a child, and I don't know how to please my mother.

He tried to hold his mother's hand like Ruosu did, but she shook it off forcefully.

"Cheng Anzhi! How did I educate you when I was young? People must have self-respect and principles in life! That man messed around outside when his wife was pregnant with a child, and he refused to change after repeated admonitions. The child divorced when he was only two years old. You are such a person! Blind or deaf, looking for such a man?!"

I stayed there with my mouth open.

I didn't know that the "resume" of the original letter was told, it was so embarrassing.

Or because I love him, I believe in him, when I know this, I have already decided in my heart that it is not the truth.

He is not that kind of person.

But I forgot that if the protagonist of this rumor was someone else, I would have been as angry as my mother.

I finally understood that every time Ruosu hesitated to speak.

The mother's anger was out of control: "Do you think he is rich? You have been in Hong Kong for a few years, and you are so immoral and only have money in your eyes when you come back?"

"When I had the operation, who did you live with in Hong Kong? Also rich?"

"How could I teach you such a shameless thing! No wonder you refuse to live at home after you come back!..."

One after another vicious attacks hit me like a heavy hammer, I could only stare blankly at my mother, with a dull emptiness in my heart.

I didn't know that there was so much resentment against me in her heart.

I will never be able to tell her that during my second semester in Hong Kong, I fell ill and couldn't get out of bed for a month, thus losing my scholarship for the second year.

At this time, news came from City C that my mother had to undergo surgery immediately because she found breast cancer during the physical examination.

During my mother’s operation, I worked part-time in Yan’s family, and I worked hard for the young master Yanyi who was suffering from depression, just to earn a good income, to prevent my family from discovering my embarrassment, and to not have to pay for my mother’s post-operative medical expenses. In addition, I have to move around to pay for me and worry about me.

My mother's operation was very successful. I have been away for many years, and I have never reached out to ask for a penny at home, but everyone thought it was a good thing I made in the first year when I went, and for many years later, I was free happy.

Staying away from close relatives is already unfilial, how can I make my parents feel guilty again.

But I didn't know that not returning that year would be an eternal pain in my mother's heart.

At that time, the mobile phone was dropped by Yan's family and he picked it up, which made my mother misunderstand that the reason why I didn't return was that I was living with someone in love there, so I couldn't think of leaving.

I knew she was suspicious, but she didn't ask, and I couldn't explain it, and I couldn't argue with it ever since.

Can only be silent.

The silent people in this world often know the truth, but not all the truth can be spoken.

I'm just sad that my mother, who watched me grow up, didn't believe me so much.

They broke up unhappily without eating dinner, and Ruosu drove the car very silently on the way back.

I didn't want to talk either, I forced tears into my stomach abruptly.

On the way, I picked up He Huan who was working overtime. Lawyer He replaced Ruosu in the car, and Ruosu moved to the back seat to sit next to me.

She looked at my face carefully, as if she wanted to say something, but hesitated.

She didn't make up her mind until she sent me home and just before getting out of the car, she said, "Sister... I think you should reconsider... I heard that Feng Xin's ex-wife often took her children to the hospital Looking for him, is it true that the two of you are still in love... And didn't you also say that when you saw him last time, he was hooking up with an unruly woman in a bar..."

Before I responded, He Huan suddenly reprimanded: "Xiao Su, don't talk nonsense."

We were both taken aback, especially Ruosu, who probably rarely gets reprimanded by He Huan, immediately changed his expression.

He Huan said seriously: "Feng Xin is not that kind of person."

I don't know why, I didn't cry when my mother scolded me, I didn't cry when my father didn't help me, and I didn't cry when Ruosu blamed me.

But He Huan's words made my tears pour down like torrential rain.

Letter, you are not alone.

You see, there is still one person in this world who believes in you like me.

26. Teacher An is a vixen!

In the morning, I chatted with Xiao Cen, a nurse from Fengxin Medical Clinic, on WeChat, while finishing the work from years ago.

Since I went to the medical clinic several times, the relationship between me and those old doctors and nurses suddenly became close.

I think that I have always been the kind of person whose temper is easy to be manipulated. It is always right to smile at everyone. When they are busy, I take the initiative to comfort the patients. Join the gossip.

Soon everyone's impression of me changed from being wary and hostile to the role of "a future proprietress with an unpredictable personality" to being sympathetic to a "silly girl who will definitely suffer from lack of heart". .

And Xiao Cen has also become my most active "insider", sending me a status report every day like a chicken blood, coupled with personal passionate comments, all kinds of exaggerated nympho often make me laugh out loud.

In fact, I know that Xiao Cen's biggest wish recently is to hope that Feng Xin's ex-wife can show up at the hospital for visits with her children as before, and then she will immediately notify me to go hand in hand with the enemy to meet each other.

"I can't stand the arrogance of her grandson on her face for a long time! She's just a passer-by after divorce, so why put on airs like a wife!" She said angrily.

But she doesn't know, and I don't mean to.

I don't really know how to stop human beings' love for much ado about nothing, but fortunately, the ex-wife who wrote the letter recently has never appeared again.

In the afternoon, the boss who didn't appear often came suddenly, and urgently called a meeting of several senior executives.

After I came out, the director called me to the office, smiled and held my hand to congratulate me, and said that South Korea gave me a good opportunity to send someone to study for a year, and the company paid all the expenses.After a decision, this opportunity was given to me, and I was asked to fly directly to South Korea after the Chinese New Year.

I didn't react right away.

It is indeed a good opportunity to go abroad to study for a year at public expense, but I was assigned so urgently, without any sign in advance, and my opinion was never consulted, which made me instinctively feel strange.

I asked the director if I could think about it, and the director, who was in his 50s, pulled his face down and said with a sneer, "If you don't go, you will be automatically resigned according to the company's arrangement."

I went back to my seat and was still in a daze when Sister Qin from the Early Education Center called again.

On the phone, Sister Qin faltered and talked for a long time before I understood that she was asking me not to go to tomorrow's class, and I don't have to go in the future.

I was overwhelmed by a series of events in a few hours.

I asked Sun Ting to help me go to the higher-ups to find out what was going on. After thinking about it, Sister Qin was very nice to me before. Maybe there was some difficulty on the phone, so I asked for a leave of absence, took a taxi and left Went to the early childhood education center.

It was four o'clock in the afternoon when we arrived at the early childhood education center, just in time for the end of get out of class, many parents and children were playing in the leisure and play area, and there were a lot of people.

I was going to wait for Sister Qin in the office, and when I lowered my head and turned to let a mother and daughter who were about to go out, I suddenly heard a voice that seemed familiar, with a cold and deliberately prolonged ending, which made me tremble unconsciously.

"Quanquan, who do you think this is?"

I was stunned, and found that standing in front of me was Xiaoquanquan's mother and daughter.

Quan Quan wore a small snow-white wool skirt and a short rose-colored down jacket today, and is currently putting on small brown cowhide boots for her little feet at the shoe changing place.

She is such a beautiful little girl, but at this moment when she looks up at her, my eyes are full of so many rich fluctuations that should not belong to her age.

It was pleasantly surprised at first, then turned into confusion in an instant, then gradually condensed into a kind of doubt, and finally saw cunning and hatred.

I never knew that the child's eyes, which were as clear as the sky, could change so many colors like the aurora in the desert. I forgot to say hello for a while, and I didn't even notice the resentful Yao standing beside her. Yao.

It was Yao Yao's voice that brought me back to reality.

"Quanquan, do you know this auntie?" The arrogant and sharp voice was like a crane raising its neck as high as possible, clearly expressing its intention to attack.

I'm just pretending to be stupid, but I'm not really stupid. Of course I can't laugh at this moment.

It's just that there are so many questions in my stomach, and I can't solve any of them.

Sister Qin's figure flashed, and she rushed straight in front of us. Her back was facing Yao Yao, but she was facing me, her face was as cold as ice.

"Miss Cheng, why are you here again? You are not welcome here."

I blinked hard a few times, feeling that the whole world was magical.

But in one day, it was as if a magic switch was touched, and everything became out of place.

So strange.

A loud and heart-piercing cry pierced my heart unexpectedly like a sharp sword.

Circle jumped on my body, not to hug me affectionately as usual, but to kick and beat me like a wounded little beast.

"Mr. An is a big villain, Mr. An is a vixen, Mr. An, don't pester my father... woo woo woo... Huanquan wants daddy to come home, Huanquan wants daddy..."

I was so shocked that teachers, parents and children quickly surrounded me, but I couldn't change my expression and respond with a single word.

I at least read from the reaction of the audience that this is such a good show.

"I can't tell that Mr. An is such a person."

"Families who can come to early childhood education are in good conditions. These young teachers may be targeting the fathers of these children."

"too frightening!"

"Bitch! Shameless!"

……

The young preschool teacher is a vixen, who seduced the father of a four-year-old child, and the child begged for justice.

The only question is, who is the child's father?
I almost wanted to laugh, but the ringing in my ears was unbearable.

The cries of the circle seemed to be well-trained, and they became more and more shrill and outrageous.

I tried to squat down and hug her to ask clearly, but she hit me on the face with a boot, staring at me.

Vaguely, I heard applause from the crowd of onlookers.

I have read some people's livelihood news before, and I know that if someone rushes up to strip me of my clothes, step on a foot, and spit a few times, I am afraid that no one will dissuade me.

Passers-by only want so-called justice, but time is too tight for them to judge the truth of this justice.

Let's raise the knife first.

I finally got angry from the bottom of my heart, and grabbed the child's hands, even though she kicked and beat me wildly, I tried my best to control my trembling voice, and shouted loudly at Quanquan: "Quanquan ! Who is your father?!"

I didn't expect the child's madness to stop, but a miracle happened. As soon as my voice fell, all the child's movements suddenly stopped.

There were still crystal teardrops on the innocent little face, and the sound of sobbing was still faintly rolling.

However, the four-year-old suddenly stared at me fixedly, like watching a big devil in a cartoon, so hateful and determined.

She spit out a mouthful of saliva on my face!
"My name is Feng Quanquan, and my father's name is Feng Xin!"

I don't know how I got out of that hellish scene.

I faintly feel that someone is pulling me away.

And I followed mechanically.

I thought I could be a little stronger and make things clear, but I couldn't.

When I heard the name "Letter", my performance has fully demonstrated to the onlookers all the accusations of the circle.

I was on the verge of falling like thunder, and the whole world was pitch black.

It's a letter.

Quanquan's father turned out to be a letter.

I robbed her daddy.

I am the big villain.

I deserve to be humiliated by so many people watching, I am an evil third party.

I thought it was a ridiculous farce, but, that name, it really has something to do with me.

It's just that this relationship can be justified in a few words.

I was so weak that I couldn't even justify myself for the letter.

From the beginning to the end, Yao Yao seemed to be just a fire starter. She only sent out her child, and she already made me irreparable.

Fate has already arranged for us to meet.

On the black surface of the lake of destiny, the flower of love blooms stubbornly like a dazzling white lotus, while below it, the undercurrent of Lingli is surging.

When I finally woke up, I found that I was sitting in a small coffee shop on the street, and the person who was looking at me with concern was actually Tang Yanyan.

Tang Yanyan is married, and I attended her wedding just last month.

Everything about the wedding was perfect, the only episode was when Tang Yanyan went to the hotel room to change into her toast attire, she closed the door and sat down by the window, wearing layers of snow-white wedding dresses, and smoked a cigarette without hesitation .

I can probably understand the distress in her heart. The reality is not as good as imagined, but what's the point of telling the truth.

Later, we didn't come out alone to meet each other again. I thought dullly, why is she here?

Tang Yanyan seemed to see through my doubts, sighed and said to me: "I happened to accompany my sister-in-law to take her child to early childhood education today, and I didn't expect to see you being besieged."

She seemed to be a little bit reluctant to continue, and she was vague.

But I naturally knew that she was referring to seeing me as a "third party" being beaten by a child in public and being cast aside by so many people watching.

If my mother knew about this scene, she would probably burn me to death.

I laughed out loud, my voice distorted.

She was startled, thinking I was crazy, reached out and touched my forehead.

"The child's father... is it a letter?"

Yes, it is a letter.

A name that rarely overlaps in the world, she is also a smart person, knowing that there is no such coincidence.

Quanquan's father is the boy we all loved deeply when we were young.

He was shining brightly, but his whole body was wounded.

I continued to laugh, only to find that Tang Yanyan took out a tissue and stuffed it for me, only then did I realize that more and more tears were streaming down my face.

There seemed to be something blocked in my heart, and I couldn't even breathe smoothly. I wanted to dig out my heart and put it outside to breathe.

But what I need is a sober approach, not a random emotional outpouring.

A voice in my heart was shouting desperately: Cheng Anzhi!wake up!Cheng Anzhi!Think clearly!

But I found that no matter how hard I tried, at that moment, I couldn't think clearly, I just wanted to cry, collapse, and confide.

So that it doesn't matter who I'm sitting across from.

I cried and talked for too long, I didn't even notice Tang Yanyan's gradually drifting eyes.

27. He came from afar to meet my appointment

That night, I was drowsy and had a high fever. Qichun wanted to call and write a letter several times, but was persuaded by me threatening death.

She had no choice but to sit by my bed and scold me non-stop. She scolded me for a while and changed my cold towel once.

I found that Qichun's scolding could bring me peace and tranquility. Listening to her voice, I felt that I was still in the world, and those slack minds found themselves in my body bit by bit.

By morning, my fever was gone.

Qichun, who took care of me all night, fell asleep on the bed, I got up lightly, looked at the pale self in the mirror and pulled the corners of my mouth, and found that I could smile again.

Everything that happened yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is still going on.

Enduring my physical discomfort, I made some breakfast, ate one for myself and left one for Qichun, and then took a taxi to the company on time.

Turn on the computer and start writing the letter of resignation.

I have woken up, made up my mind, and no longer panic.

Just like the moment I left school with a letter many years ago.

I know where I am headed.

I always thought that this world is full of illusions and countless temptations, and people who are not smart enough always worry about gains and losses, and end up with nothing.

So I often feel lost, feel that I am so small, I want everything, but I can't do any beautiful things.

Later, when I met a letter, I thought, in this life, I will choose to only do this one thing.

Don't retreat, don't waver, love him without hesitation.

Many years after I made this decision, I found that everything has become easier. When faced with a choice, I can always answer it easily in a second.

Just at this moment, when I understand the truth of all these incidents, it is just a letter asking me to leave, and I don't need to hesitate any longer.

I won't leave, never.

The director was a little surprised when he received my resignation letter, but he was obviously relieved and his attitude became more polite.

After all, I was recommended by the headquarters, and the pressured party is obviously a powerful person. It is not good to offend any party. I am willing to quit. Being so knowledgeable is the fulfillment of her.

I smiled and began to go through various handover procedures. Fortunately, the work of the previous stage has just finished, and it will not have much impact on the work of other colleagues.

The colleagues who had worked together not long ago but also had feelings for each other didn't know the truth, and only sighed reluctantly at me, but Sun Ting grabbed my hand and dragged me to the rooftop of the company's top floor.

The roof was very windy, there were some debris piled up randomly, and there were many cigarette butts scattered on the ground. It seemed that it was a place for employees of various companies in this building to relax at noon.

I have never come up on weekdays, and I didn't expect that the first time I came up, it was a farewell.

I wrapped my scarf tightly and said to Sun Ting, "It's so cold, dear sister, please speak quickly."

Sun Ting didn't know whether she was angry or cold, her face was flushed.

I seemed to see tears rolling in her eyes, which made me feel uncomfortable.

She bit her lip and stomped her foot: "I didn't expect you to meet this kind of person! I've asked, that woman is not easy to mess with, her father is very famous, and she herself has a lot of connections. Doctor Feng has met several times before. Dear, she easily disturbed her. I really don't know what kind of heart she has, she's already divorced, so why cling to her, just to make people feel better!"

I was silent, Sun Ting collected a lot of information this night.

She is indeed the well-known "Smart Little Princess" in the company.

Sun Ting continued to vent: "The boss is really not a thing. I saw it a long time ago. I sold you for a bank loan! You are also stupid. Why don't you agree to go to Korea? Why do you want to resign?"

I rubbed my face, which was a little numb from the wind, and felt dizzy again.

I said, "Dear sister, I actually got an opportunity to take orders at home and make a lot of money. I won't come again when the opportunity cannot be missed, so I had to make a quick decision."

She was dubious: "No way?"

I nodded seriously: "It's true. A big publishing house asked me to make a set of original children's picture books for them. There are twelve books in total, enough for me to make for two years, and the price is right."

In fact, I hesitated about this opportunity before. I haven’t drawn for a long time, and when I got to the bottom of it, the reason was the loss of the comic book.

But now, I really want to paint. I have been in this industry for several years, and I have a certain grasp of the market and planning.

Just made up my mind.

Only then did Sun Ting feel relieved, she put away her little tears and put on a joyful expression.

"You and Dr. Feng must be together! That vicious woman must be pissed off!" She clenched her fist in front of her chest, like a small animal in a cartoon.

I laughed.

When she was about to go downstairs, she remembered something again, and suddenly said to me: "By the way, I inquired with my friends later, that night we met Dr. Feng at the Dark Night Bar and wanted to leave with that rotten woman. Once! My friend was the bartender there, and he said that Dr. Feng used to go there often, but he always drank alone, and he ignored anyone who struck up a conversation. I don’t know what happened to him that day.”

She looked at my face and made a small fist again: "Doctor Feng is very good! You have to trust him!"

I followed her example and nodded exaggeratedly.

In fact, whether it's a bar, Yaoyao, or a circle, those things are not a problem.

My only concern is the letter.

He is a person who has extremely high demands on himself, has a strong sense of morality, and is too self-suffering.

Feng Xun's death had kept him closed for many years and almost changed his life.If I continue to work here and give Yao Yao another chance to attack or instigate, I am not afraid, but I will definitely feel guilty if I know it.

I'm afraid he will give up on me, just like giving up every blind date before.

So I have to leave and choose a job and life that won't be disturbed by Yao Yao's threats. I have to protect myself and bloom around the letter like a healthy flower. Pressure to fall in love with me.

I want him to fall in love with me, because I finally started to worry that other people don't understand him enough to trust him, and can't give him happiness.

It wasn't until these days when things happened one after another that I didn't know that he had been alone for so long, so long.

If the embarrassment I encountered is one, then what he has encountered must be ten.

So, I may not be good enough, but I will never let go again.

I didn't see Qichun when I got back to my residence, so I took my temperature again and found that it was a bit repetitive, so I took some medicine and fell asleep again.

When I woke up again, it was already past eight o'clock in the evening, and my stomach was screaming with hunger. I checked my phone and there were no missed calls, so I decided to go downstairs to find a small shop for something to eat.

After eating, I felt much better. I took out my mobile phone and thought about making a call to Feng Xin. As soon as I got out of the elevator, before the mobile phone was connected, I suddenly saw a person standing in the darkness at the door, and the sensor light turned off. It didn't light up, and I screamed out in fright.

I only screamed for a while, and was completely enveloped by a familiar aura. In the darkness, a tall and thin figure hugged me tightly, no matter how frightened I struggled, I did not let go.

For some reason, I immediately thought of who it was.

However, I couldn't believe it.

I pinched and pushed silently as hard as I was breastfeeding, and finally pushed the man half a foot away.

With the dim light of the mobile phone screen, a pale and delicate face appeared in front of me, and the corners of the thin mouth evoked obvious dissatisfaction and resentment.

Like a beautiful ghost.

He was always going his own way, doing what he liked, and hated having his manners hindered.

Like an unreasonable child who doesn't want to grow up living in a lonely castle.

I didn't know what to say, I just stared at him blankly, and after a few seconds, I squeezed out a sentence: "Yanyi, you are looking for death."

It never occurred to me that we would actually meet again.

But I still secretly imagined the reunion in my mind.

Maybe we will cry, maybe we don't recognize each other, maybe...he is no longer alive.

We can say "Long time no see" or "Don't come here without any problems", but we didn't expect that it would be this sentence "You are looking for death".

The shock and embarrassment of seeing each other again became natural after this blurted sentence. I sighed and opened the door and pushed him in. The room was still dark. I pressed the switch on the wall, and instantly the room was filled with lights. Spring hasn't come back yet.

When I poured a cup of hot water and returned to the living room, I saw Yanyi curled up on the small sofa like a black cat. The light from the six-headed chandelier was already warm, but he was like a shadow under the lamp , except for that overly white face, almost the whole body was covered by black cloth.

She is as pretty as a girl with little expression on her face, but when looking at people, she looks straight at people as if she doesn't know how to avoid them, her eyes are cold and lifeless, and the strong contrast will make people's heart tremble unconsciously.

It's exactly the same as the first time I saw him.

I put hot water in front of him, sat opposite him and looked at him, but he didn't speak.It has always been like this, there is no need to speak, he is silent almost all day long, and I have long been used to it.

He also looked at me silently.

Making eye contact with him, I finally noticed something was different.

In his eyes, those deep black rays of light are no longer a mass of dead energy, but something faintly flowing.

Although I don't know what it is, it must be a good thing for him.

Although it has been much better than I imagined, compared with ordinary boys in their early twenties, it is still pathologically sad.

I got closer and pulled his hand that was tucked into his sleeve. It was cold as expected, even colder than a patient who just came back from the outside.

I stuffed the cup of hot water on the table into his hand.

He obediently accepted.

Until now, I didn't believe that Yanyi was really sitting in front of me, not just a hallucination.

I don't know how he got here, at the height of his illness he couldn't even take any public transport, he had bouts of depression and anxiety all at the same time, he was clearly claustrophobic and agoraphobic.

Everyone once believed that Yan Yi would never recover and that Yan Yi would never leave that island.

But now, here he is.

I asked him softly, "How did you get here?"

I don't even need to ask him how he found me. His father and uncle have extensive contacts in both places, and the business is very big. As long as he needs it, he can know it.

He blinked, and said slowly, "Come over with my uncle to discuss business."

His voice was low and light, like a rhyme that would dissipate in the air at any time, with the earnestness and clarity of each word unique to memory.

I was inexplicably happy, he was able to follow Yan Jingcheng out and about, and he went to such a far city, and everything seemed to be safe, which shows that his situation is better than I imagined.

The things that have been worrying about me are finally let go. How could I not miss him these few months.

My expression probably gave away my thoughts, with joy floating on my face, Yan Yi, who had been staring at me seriously, also slightly bent the corners of his mouth.

"I'm hungry." He said to me suddenly.

I quickly got up and went to the refrigerator to make something for him.

There was nothing in the refrigerator, so I made him a simple fried rice with eggs, and he slowly ate half a bowl.

His expression became soft and peaceful under the lamp.

I saw that his eyelashes were lowered, and tiredness appeared in his slightly blue eyes. I guessed that he did not rest after getting off the plane.

I asked him where he was staying and he gave the name of a hotel.

Just as he was talking, his cell phone rang, and I watched him answer the call with great interest.

He used to refuse to even use his phone because he hated sudden ringtones or vibrations and being easily found.

Once, my mobile phone was left at his house, and my mother just called. When the mobile phone rang suddenly, he was frightened at first, then furious, and cursed after answering the phone.

The consequence is that my mother thought I was living with a man of no quality, I couldn't argue with it, and that poor mobile phone was thrown on the ground by Young Master Yan Yi and fell to pieces—even though his uncle Yan Jingcheng paid me in the end A new style.

Many small things that get along with each other flashed through my mind in an instant.

Memories that I have moved away from me, but are still alive.

Yan Yi quietly listened to the voice on the phone, from the beginning to the end, he hummed, and then hung up the phone.

He looked up at me, then stood up.

"I'm going back, uncle is waiting for me." He said.

I said yes, I will send you off.

We went downstairs in silence, and I accompanied him out of the community.

We didn't have a few conversations from the beginning to the end. Yanyi lived in his own world, and he didn't need those polite greetings at all. During the three years with him, most of our ways of getting along were like this, and we knew each other very well.

He walked on the left, and I walked on his right. Several street lights in the community were broken, and the light was dim. I took him around.

Suddenly he reached over and grabbed my left hand.

He whispered: "At that time, we also walked in the garden."

I was taken aback for a moment, only to realize that he was referring to the time when I first lived in his house.

At that time, he suffered from insomnia and mania night after night, and tried his best to steal more medicine to take. I was shocked by his sickness, and offered to accompany him for a walk in the garden at night when he couldn't fall asleep.

The garden of his house is very large, and the sea is not far away. When the night is quiet, the sound of the tide can be heard.

We were silent and didn't talk about anything. We walked around the garden round and round. After walking around for 10 minutes, we walked around again for 10 minutes. When we were tired, we sat on the stone path next to it. sit down.

He always takes my hand, I know he is afraid of the dark, but I don't say it.

He was only one year younger than me, but at that time, he was just a child in my heart.A child who has the appearance of an adult, but has been living in the shadow of his childhood, and never wants to grow up.

As I walked, I looked up at the stars, clouds, and sky from time to time, thinking about my own thoughts.

I don't know if Yanyi is also thinking about something, and I don't ask him, we just walk together.

Once I walked with him until dawn.

He still needs to rely on sleeping pills to fall asleep occasionally, but most of the time, he can barely sleep for a few hours every night.

Thinking of this, I asked him: "How are you sleeping now?"

He nodded without answering.

The road ahead gradually lit up, approaching the exit of the community, and outside was a street full of lights and traffic. Although it was past ten o'clock in the evening, the city's nightlife had just begun.

Yan stopped walking.

He stretched out his finger, and only then did I realize that there was a black car parked at the side of the exit. It was a low-key but luxurious brand, and it was Yanjingcheng's usual style.

Hikoichi motioned for me not to walk over.

Only then did I realize that there was a car waiting for him all the time.

"Anzhi." He called me.

"Sister An." I corrected him.

Also a reminder.

He shook his head slowly, reached out and pulled my shoulder, asking me to face him.

He is much taller than me, and when he looks at me, he has to bow his head slightly.

I was a little uneasy with such a distance and posture, and tried to break free slightly, but was held even tighter by him.

This made me panic uncontrollably.

The door of the memory of fear opened, and the black fragments, like ashes raised after burning, stuck to the human skin little by little.

What I deliberately forgot, what I tried to forgive, all came out of the quagmire in my heart, with a sense of turbidity, rising, rising.

I bit my lip and remained frozen.

I'm afraid that if I move, I will act out of control and push the person in front of me into the abyss.

His voice, with a kind of subtle ethereal feeling, and with the fierceness and fragility of all-or-nothing that I am not familiar with, floated gently in the air.

"Anzhi, don't reject me."

"I worked so hard, I thought I was going to die... Finally, I came here."

28. He has taken away my last breath

I watched the black car drive slowly out of the community, and from a distance, I saw someone in the co-driver rolled down the window and waved to me, it seemed to be Yan Jingcheng.

I was in a state of confusion, and the hot and cold sensations occupied my body and brain again. I didn't even need a thermometer, and I knew that the fever was coming and going again.

In the air near midnight, the moonlight was as cold and silent as the non-flowering trees. An unknown insect wailed, and the sound disappeared in a blink of an eye.

There is so much going on in the day that it leaves me feeling exhausted and helpless.

I wandered to the artificial gazebo in the community, where there were still a few newspapers and piles of melon seed shells left by the old people playing cards, as if I could hear the futile complaints of the early cleaners.

I sat leaning against a pillar, and where my palm touched, I could feel the scarlet paint mottled.

I suddenly remembered one thing.

I haven't been in touch with Feng Xin for a day.

This is somewhat abnormal.

He is a cold and restrained person, and I dare not cling to every minute of him like an unrestrained girl, but since we established our relationship, even if we don't see each other that day, we will meet at least a few times a day text message.

He will remind me to eat, add clothes, say good night to me, and sometimes respond to my bad jokes.

No matter what he sends is an expression or the simplest text, it will make me feel at ease.

Only he can give me such peace of mind.

But it suddenly occurred to me that if Yao Yao already knew that I was Feng Xin's new girlfriend and had already begun to retaliate against me, there was no reason why she should not inform Feng Xin of this news.

In fact, I have never been in a relationship.

I don't quite know the reasons for the formation of various complicated entanglements. I only know that if one person has been destroying and hitting another person in a dangerous way, it must not be love anymore.

In my heart, love should be something warm, positive, reassuring and joyful.

As for Yao Yao, did she do all this just to make Feng Xin miserable and sad?

This is the choice of many people. They would rather engrave the pain than prove that they have been there.

Assuming that if Feng Xin already knew what happened to Yao Yao and I in the early education center, he must also know about my resignation.

With his personality, what would he do?
He may leave and give up, and if he feels that's the safest way for me, he will.

I stood up abruptly, covered in cold sweat for a moment, and even my drowsy and aching brain seemed to wake up a lot.

The overwhelming sense of weakness made me sit down again dejectedly.

I pulled out my phone to text.

"A letter."

"I'm here."

Only a few seconds after the text message was successfully sent, his reply came quickly.

I looked at those two words unexpectedly, my nose was sour, and tears welled up that I couldn't stop.

I am, I am.

He is my magician, my savior, he can save my whole world with a slight smile.

I'm typing while crying.

"Where are you?"

Ten seconds later his message came.

"Do you believe in magic?"

I froze.

The phone vibrated again.

"If you raise your head now and look five meters in front of you, you can get the answer to the last question."

I opened my mouth mechanically, held up my phone, and slowly raised my head like a fool.

There was only a faint light, but enough to see the man clearly.

There is no five meters.

About, only three meters, two meters.

Because, he came to me.

That man, clad in the midnight moonlight, no amount of darkness can block his brilliance.

His gaze is so calm, so deep, his slender figure, and his calm demeanor, like the most beautiful deity, bringing the most merciful gospel.

He always surprises me, but he never disappoints me.

Since he was a boy, he has been the pure and beautiful spring rain of apricot blossoms, the sharp east wind breaks the dawn, and the tranquil light shines brightly.

My eyes were full of tears, as if frozen in place, unable to move.I can't describe the mood at that moment. I don't think there will be another person who can bring me such a shock and beauty. He even makes me feel that my soul is flying and singing.

He stood in front of me, and since I was sitting, he raised his hand as if he wanted to touch my hair.

I raised my head and stretched out my hand to grab one of his fingers, like a tacit dance. With his strength, I threw myself into his arms, hugging him tightly.

I have nothing to worry about, nothing to be afraid of.

All the concerns, all the pain, all the humiliation experienced in the past few days are all jokes in front of the heart that loves him at this moment.

I don't know how long time has passed, but in his steady embrace, I feel relaxed and peaceful.

I buried my head on his chest, and leaned my forehead against his collar. The texture of the wool felt soft and warm. I held him tightly with both hands, and felt his thin waist under the thick clothes. drum.

I asked him in a low voice, "Why are you here?"

He was silent for two seconds, and replied, "I've been here for a long time."

I raised my head up stupidly, rubbed my forehead against his chin, and hurriedly buried my head down.

He seemed to laugh lightly, and raised his wrist in feeling: "To be precise, I have been here for four hours and six minutes."

I was very slow to infer that it wasn't the first time I woke up and went downstairs to eat, and he came.

But, where is he, he didn't call me, and he didn't go upstairs to find me.

I thought to myself, so I asked.

"What have you been doing all this time?"

"Yeah." He said, "It seems, just come over, let's go over. Fortunately, the security in this community is not so responsible, and no one came to question me."

I remembered the last time I went to his community to work as a mushroom camp.

"Then why didn't you call me?" I still didn't understand.

"I'm thinking about something." He turned the angle of his body, sat down in the seat I was sitting in calmly and gracefully, and pulled me back into his arms very naturally, sitting on his lap.

This posture is even more ambiguous. I leaned on his shoulders, not daring to breathe.

The chirping of insects in the withered grass has completely disappeared, leaving only the sound of my heartbeat in the whole world, and everything is holding its breath.

"I'm asking myself, should I continue to hold on to you, or..." He paused slowly, and the words that followed seemed to disappear in his chest, inaudibly low.

I suddenly stretched out a hand, and the palm of my hand covered his lips in a panic.

I don't know why I made this movement. There was a special soft and warm touch in my palm. Our eyes met at such a close distance, but I couldn't understand the concentrated meaning in his eyes.

Only for a moment, I felt his arms around me gradually increase in strength, while the other hand grabbed my raised wrist, without any warning, he lowered his head and kissed my palm lightly.

My head slammed, and I almost collapsed into his arms.

"Later, I saw you sending a boy out." He stared at me with piercing eyes, and his faint breath brushed my cheek, and the place he passed was like wildfire.

I was ecstatically thinking, his eyelashes are really prettier than any other girl.

But wait, what did he say?boy?Did he mean Hikoichi?He saw me sending Yan Yi out?

There are also those actions that Yan and I must have felt ambiguous in the eyes of ordinary people.

Is he implying that I am dating?

I was instantly awakened from the nympho state by a dull thunder.

"It's Yanyi..." I stammered, I didn't know how to explain it, and in desperation, I almost burst into tears.

"Oh, the patients you took care of in Hong Kong." Sure enough, he had a good memory.

I nodded hastily.

Feng Xin suddenly let out a long sigh.

I panicked.

But then, he stood up suddenly, turned his back to me, and squatted down.

"I'll carry you." He turned his head and smiled at me.

Such a scene seems familiar.

Many years ago, the girl who hurt her foot lightly lay on the back of the boy she liked.I, who can only be used as a foil, follow all the way, one foot deep and one foot shallow.

The moonlight is so bright, and my little heart is so restless and sad.

Today, the boy has grown into an outstanding man.

I obediently closed my eyes and leaned on his back.

He stood up easily.

I put my face on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck gently.

He has strode towards the depths of the community.

I still didn't make a sound when the letter gently placed me on my bed.

The feeling of dream come true is so good that people can't wake up.

He poured me a glass of hot water, motioned for me to drink it, and then told me to lie on my side.

During the whole process, I was at his mercy like a rag doll. By his side, I felt safe and comfortable, and felt that every minute was old.

I didn't realize what the letter was doing until I felt the hard pressure of fingers somewhere on my back.

"Sleep tonight, and tomorrow morning I will ask Xiao Cen to bring the prepared medicine." He said simply.

I remembered that I had heard before that Chinese medicine can achieve the effect of reducing fever through acupoint massage.

It seems that the abnormality of my body has not escaped the eyes of the professional doctor Feng.

"I..." I wanted to say a lot to him.

Suddenly he tapped me lightly on the back of the head.

"Rest quietly, you are challenging the authority of a doctor, he will be angry."

I shut up obediently, and gradually became drowsy under his steady, forceful and rhythmic pressure.

"Don't worry about my misunderstanding." He said suddenly and slowly.

I was startled, and realized that he was referring to Yanyi.

He actually knew that I was worried about his misunderstanding.

"Actually, I want to thank him. Only when I saw him holding your hand did I understand... what jealousy is."

"It turns out that I would be so jealous, so worried about gain and loss, so unimaginable..."

"Anzhi, I have no choice."

I couldn't believe what I heard.

His voice was deep and slightly vague, and some key words were even simply overplayed.

However, I understand everything.

I could hear my whole heart throbbing, trembling, and boiling, so that my whole body was about to explode.

If my understanding was correct, he was saying that he was in love with me.

He fell in love with me, so he had no choice, although he was still hesitating at first whether to hold on to me or give up.

In love, there is no option to back off.

I take a deep breath.

With all his strength, he suddenly turned over and faced the letter.

"A letter."

I called him in a low voice, stretched out my hands, put my arms around his neck, pulled his face closer to mine, closed my eyes and clumsily pressed my lips together.

Panicked and single-minded, I touched his lips instinctively, feeling the heat of my cheeks and the coolness of his lips.

The thrilling touch almost made the heart explode like fireworks.

I closed my eyes tightly, my whole body was numb and stiff, and I didn't dare to look at the expression on his face.

After fumbling for a few seconds, suddenly, a gentle but firm force countered me mercilessly.

I opened my eyes for a moment in shock, only to vaguely catch his drooping long eyelashes like a poem and a dream, and then I closed them tightly in a panic.

Burning like a siege, he has severely taken away my last breath.

I was like drowning, unable to struggle, unable to retreat, only the instinct of grasping him weakly with my fingers.

Someone like him, once started, won't stop.

As if I was about to suffocate, I thought vaguely, so this is the real letter.

A letter I have never seen.

Also, the perfect letter.

(End of this chapter)