flowers on stars

Chapter 11 Flower·Silence
If a person can never see the sun rising, the stars blooming, or the color of the wheat field, then the only thing he can do is to hold on to the only thing that is warm in his hand.Cheng Anzhi, to me, you mean survival and surviving. —— Yanichi
[Wedge · Star Candy in the White Tower]
It was a tall white tower, built on the edge of the blue sea, the windows were covered with purple climbing roses, and the golden shining jewel spire pointed straight to the sky, no matter it was a sunny day or a stormy day, you could see the tower Tower, people will marvel at its eye-catching beauty.

Many people think that there is a happy princess living in the white tower, but they don't know that there is a little prince living there.

His world is silent, and for a whole year, he doesn't talk to anyone, and he can't hear what others say.

He once thought he would live in that tower forever.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with it.he thinks.

It would be even better if the world were destroyed at the same time, and the white tower and the star sugar inside would be submerged, burned, and covered up by huge dust, stones, and golden flames.

As he thought this way, a naive and weird smile appeared on his small face.

29. A youth as beautiful and dark as a ghost
That was the most frightening and helpless moment in my life, bar none.

I staggered aimlessly through the streets, over and over again.

A month ago, a low-grade fever that lasted for no reason suddenly fell on me. Even the doctor was disappointed for a while, suspecting that there was something wrong with the immune system.

I didn't dare to tell my family, so I could only suffer by myself. Fortunately, one month later, when the doctor was about to give me long-term hormone medication, the symptoms miraculously disappeared.

It's like a nightmare.

But because of this disease, I lost my scholarship for the next semester. At the same time, Ruosu from my hometown called to tell my mother that breast cancer was found in a physical examination not long ago.

The time for the operation was the period when my low fever persisted, and my family thought that the exam was approaching, so they hid it from me until the operation was successful.

I suppressed my sadness and tried my best not to cry while holding my phone.

I shivered all night under the blanket that day.

When the sky was slightly brighter, I made a decision.

I have selfishly chosen to stay away from home, so how can I have the face to make them worry about me now.

How can I still have the face to ask my family for the huge tuition fees for the next school year.

How can I tell them that I don't even have the money for the plane ticket back.

How could I appear in front of them with my own sick face and body, which made my mother even more worried.

All suffering is chosen by oneself. If you choose it, you should swallow it alone.

I called Ruosu and told her that I can't go back, I'm here, and I have a good opportunity to practice in advance.

This summer vacation, I will not go home.

That summer, I dragged my weak body and ran around under the scorching sun.

Taste what despair is.

I couldn't get a regular job offer, and I couldn't apply for a line of credit like a local student.

The classmates who are acquainted with each other are not considered close friends, and after offering several solutions to no avail, they can only walk away helplessly.

I communicated with the school, but in the end I only got a sympathetic decision to postpone the payment for one month.

Every day when the stars in the sky are lit up, I will count my nothing, gritted my teeth and said to myself, I will hold on for another day, and hold on for another day.

But the next day, there was still nothing but despair.

I met Yanichi in the midsummer evening.

The white buildings by the sea are beautiful and eye-catching, but the pure black luxury car roars towards me with the light of death.

I lost the ability to dodge, everything happened in an instant, but the picture was like a slow motion, I saw on the clear windshield, the setting sun like a fire by the sea was reflected, it was as hot and turbulent as if it was about to burn everything, and in that place it was like magic Behind the brilliant colors, a face as pale as a ghost emerged.

Cold, empty, like a mask, the face of a beautiful and delicate teenager.

The moment the front of the car hit my body, I felt it suddenly turn around and pass by my side, but my body was still rubbed hard, and I fell to the ground.

Faintly, I heard a shocking crash not far away.

I was stunned to see a group of men and women rushing towards the accident car. The car hit a huge wall, the hood was severely deformed, and thick smoke was coming out of nowhere.

I almost suspected that I was sleepwalking.

I didn't even notice the sharp pain in my leg, and I just stared blankly at the car that had an accident. The face of the boy driving the car, the eyes with the breath of death, and his resolute begging for death were all completely different. Can't be real.

After an unknown amount of time, a group of people hurried past me carrying a stretcher.

The boy on the stretcher closed his eyes tightly, and the crimson blood fountain on his forehead dripped all the way as if he couldn't stop it.

But his expression was peaceful, as if he was in deep sleep.

he died?
My whole body trembled.

Until I felt someone bending down in front of me, and in a daze, I saw the face of a young but steady man.

That was the first time I saw Yan Jingcheng.

He asked someone to take me back to the hospital together.

I suffered multiple soft tissue contusions, a piece of flesh was scraped off my arm, and my right leg was fractured.

Although it was not a serious injury, the Yan family still gave me the best medical care arrangements.

Only after I entered the hospital did I know that the huge white building by the sea was originally a private hospital.

I live in a nice, clean single room, but my head is a mess and I don't know what to do.For two days in a row, no one communicated with me about the post-injury matters. The doctors and nurses who came to change the dressings were just routine, and they were all very tight-lipped. The matter of tuition fees has not yet been resolved, and my legs will not be able to get off the ground for a while, and I am so depressed that I am going crazy.

On the third day, Yan Jingcheng appeared.

At that time, I didn't know that he was Yanyi's uncle, but I only knew that everyone called him Mr. Yan.

I was a little embarrassed to greet him, although he hurt me, but because of his good attitude, I was very cowardly.

He pulls out an armchair and sits down, looking at me quietly through rimless glasses.

I didn't know what he meant, and I didn't know how to speak, so I just looked at him.

He was wearing a silver-gray shirt and black trousers that day.Although it was hot weather, his collar and cuffs were still fastened, looking delicate and serious, as if summer was outside his world.The short hair stood on end, giving him a little toughness in his elegance, but looking carefully, that toughness seemed to be just an illusion.

He is not very handsome, but people who see him will probably have a strange sense of trust.

I was lost in thought when Mr. Yan, who was on the opposite side, suddenly spoke in a gentle voice, "Miss Cheng, are you from City C?"

I instinctively let out an "ah" and nodded.

I didn't expect him to ask me this sentence.

He nodded and said slowly and softly, "I want to talk to you about a business."

After half a month, I was allowed to get out of bed and walk around.After breakfast, I walked slowly along the wall to the ward at the end of the corridor.

The door of the room is milky white, as clean as new. There are two people sitting at the door. When they saw me, they only raised their eyes quickly and showed no expression.

Probably Yan Jingcheng confessed that I am a special person with a mission.

It's like acting in a movie, I thought to myself.

There were two open laptops on the small table in front of the two of them. Both of them were staring at the screen, which showed the scene in the ward.

I also looked down.

After just one glance, I was stunned.

Everything in the room was ten times more luxurious than the one I lived in, but none of it caught my eye.

The place where the boy appeared, probably all the background, can only be eclipsed.

Even at this moment, he was just lying quietly on the hospital bed and taking a drip.

A beautiful stone statue, lifeless, but shocking.

I remembered the situation that Yan Jingcheng briefly explained to me.

Hikoichi, who suffers from severe depression, is suicidal.He was hospitalized by force, so at any time there was a possibility of self-harm or escape.

And the most important thing for Yan Jingcheng to choose me is that I am from City C.

Yanyi grew up in City C.

He was brought to Hong Kong by his father when he was 12 years old.

He is homesick.

Looking at the motionless figure, a strong impulse suddenly surged in my heart.

I want to see him, and if I can, talk to him.

Want to tell him that I understand how he feels and that I miss home too.

I opened the door and entered.

The green curtains cut off the scorching heat outside the window, and the constant temperature brought by the air conditioner and the green plants on the table make people feel like spring.

I walked slowly to Yanyi's bedside, and suddenly found that his eyes were open.

I was startled, but then I realized that he wasn't looking at me, he was just staring at the ceiling blankly, not even a glimmer of fluctuating light could be seen in his dark pupils.

I stood by the bed and watched him carefully.

His skin is very white, so white that people have an illusion that it is close to transparency.The eyelashes are long and curly, covered with big lifeless eyes, the handsome and straight bridge of the nose is the only part that is not so feminine among the facial features, the light-colored lips are slightly parted, revealing a line of white teeth.

He is really good looking.

Pretty as a window doll.

A boy who is so beautiful that he almost confuses his gender sometimes gives people a strange feeling.

This is probably why when he was driving towards me, the word ghost flashed in my mind instinctively when I caught it.

The cold liquid entered his blood vessels drop by drop along the guide needle.

On his face, where the gauze was not wrapped, there was a fine layer of sweat.

I just wondered how he was still hot in such a comfortable indoor temperature, and suddenly realized that he was sweating profusely.

The soft sympathy gripped me firmly, it was strange, since I was injured, I didn't seem to hate the perpetrator, and at this moment, I only thought about how to get close to him safely.

He lived in City C until he was 12 years old, only one year younger than me, maybe we even rubbed shoulders on the street.

And now, as long as I can make him relax his guard and recognize me as his friend, Mr. Yan Jingcheng will help me pay the tuition for the next school year.

The tuition fee that can temporarily bring me back to life.

I know this is a fairy tale, but if there is a fairy tale in despair, it can be regarded as a death sentence with reprieve.

I took a deep breath.

Picking up the tissue on the table, he tentatively wiped the sweat off his face, like a nurse.

I gently called his name: "Yanyi."

Unsurprisingly, he was silent, as if I was just air.

I've seen the situation, I know he just doesn't want to talk to me, he can hear and understand everything.

I was not embarrassed, and continued to change a tissue to help him wipe his neck.

I used the words of my hometown: "Yanyi, did you grow up in City C? Me too. My name is Cheng Anzhi, the Anzhi who is as peaceful as ever."

Before waiting to see his reaction, my eyes were suddenly drawn to a small piece of skin exposed on the shoulder of his neck.

A small scar.

In fact, it is already very weak.

I stretch out my finger and touch it slowly, it really exists.

I slowly shifted my gaze upward again in a daze, and returned to Yanyi's face.

He already had an expression, and at some point, his face slightly turned to me, his eyes were still lifeless, but I knew he was staring at me.

beautiful face.

Deja vu beauty.

Such beauty is rare.

Something rushed through my head like a swarm of sand ants crossing the border.

They overturned the door of memory, rummaged out all kinds of chaotic long-term memories, and scattered them all over the place.

Slowly, slowly, reveal the miracle you never thought of.

Some things that I thought I had forgotten a long time ago were still lying there quietly.

You never know what frights or surprises there will be every tomorrow that fate arranges for you.

Therefore, you should not give up easily, nor should you take chances.

This time, maybe, I will be saved, maybe, I will fall into deeper darkness.

But it's all a turnaround.

My voice was trembling, dry, and I sounded like a stranger to myself.

But I still called out the name.

I said: "Zhu Yiqiang!!!"

30. Zhu Yiqiang!Even if I'm a ghost, I won't let you go! ! !

Ruosu and I spent our primary school life in Miaojie Primary School.

There are three to four classes in each grade in Miaojie Primary School. When the bell rang, there would be a sound of pushing tables and chairs in every classroom at the same time, and then piles of lively children rushed out from the green-painted doors. Child.

Everyone is busy playing and laughing, it is the time when the wind is blowing in the forest and the birds are singing.

At that time, I was the small monitor in the class, united with my classmates, respected the teacher, was very popular, and loved to sing and laugh.

Until the second semester of the fourth grade, Zhu Yiqiang skipped a grade and came to our class and became my deskmate. The nightmare began.

When I was led in by the class teacher for the first time, when I stood on the podium and introduced to everyone, there was a rare moment of silence in the classroom.

The little boy was wearing a small white suit, standing quietly beside the tall and kind head teacher, smiling cutely at everyone, looking as good as a doll.

The head teacher said that this is Zhu Yiqiang, who jumped up from the third grade. Because of his excellent grades, he will start studying in our class from today. He is younger than everyone else. I hope everyone can help him and forgive him.

Later I realized that the class teacher's intentions were profound and well-intentioned.

I always thought that Zhu Yiqiang must not have skipped a grade because of his good grades, but because his former teacher had no choice but to use this trick to send him away peacefully.

In short, at that time, I accepted the task assigned by the teacher with innocence and joy, and made him my new deskmate with an angel face.

A week later, he cut my eraser into pieces with a knife and used it as a bullet;
Two weeks later, he stuffed half a pot of stones into my self-contained kettle;

Three weeks later, he glued a corner of every page of my math textbook;

Four weeks later, when the report card of the first quiz with him came out, he laughed and pointed at my score and laughed at me as "Cheng Anzhi is a big idiot".

In fact, I'm only five points behind him.

But those five points determine that he is the first and I am the second.

And since then, he has never stepped down from the throne of the first in the class.

I never thought that I would be so embarrassed by a child younger than myself.

I have always been honest, safe and well-behaved and won the trust of my teachers. I am also helpful, humble and friendly among my classmates, and I have always enjoyed everyone's evaluation and impression of me.

Sometimes I hear other parents say that I am like a "little adult", and I will hold my head high and feel complacent.

But Zhu Yiqiang messed me up and lost my image. Several times I was annoyed by him in public.

What's even more exasperating is that he doesn't treat other students so badly. Although he is often naughty, it is not too much.

I refused to complain to my teacher because of my self-esteem, and I had countless fights with him in private, soft and hard, open and dark, but most of them were defeated.

I also once used the majesty of the squad leader to "negotiate" with him in a serious manner, but only got him a playful smile, "I just think you are funny".

Sometimes I hate him so much that I grit my teeth in my dreams, but sometimes I forgive him easily.

Because he is not always so annoying, he often has another side to me.

For example, sometimes when I am really angry and cry, he will put away the little devil's face and try to please him in various ways.

Then he would call me "sister" in a voice only the two of us could hear.

"Sister, forgive me, I won't dare next time."

The soft voice coupled with the angelic face and sincere eyes, I have had a sister complex since I was a child, and all my anger will disappear.

A sense of responsibility of "helping him and forgiving him" will also surge up in my heart.

It continued like this.

When we were in the fifth grade together, something happened, which made Zhu Yiqiang and I completely enmity.

It was not long after school started that day, and there was a swimming class in the afternoon, and the teacher organized the whole class to go to a nearby swimming pool.

Although they were all immature children, they also felt shy. After changing into swimsuits from the dressing room, the boys and girls formed a group to fight, deliberately showing that they were far away from the opposite sex.

I moved a little slower, and when I came out, there was no companion by my side.

What my mother gave me was an old red swimsuit, which was a little loose. I pulled my shoulder straps awkwardly as I walked, and I always felt a little uneasy.

At this moment, the teacher blew the assembly whistle, and everyone rushed in one direction, and I also ran in a hurry.

Suddenly, he felt someone push him hard from behind, and suddenly his feet slipped and he fell on his back.

Although I was supported by an elbow and did not fall to my head, the hard floor still made me scream.

Zhu Yiqiang appeared next to me, gleefully jumping around like a monkey and laughing.

"Idiot fell! Idiot fell!" He pointed at me happily and shouted twice, then stopped suddenly, with a strange expression on his face.

Although I was already crying and understood that he pushed me from behind just now, I still noticed his sudden change.When I lowered my head, I found that my old swimsuit, which was already a little loose, fell, and one of the shoulder straps slid off, exposing my flat chest.

My poor, immature chest, like a green and immature little flower bud, was exposed to the eyes of the whole class without any room for dodge.

That day, I howled desperately like a wounded little she-wolf, pressed the little bitch Zhu Yiqiang under me, pinched him and bit him as hard as I could, and the two male teachers couldn't get me out of here immediately. Pull it off him.

I vaguely remembered that people would die if their necks were bitten off, so I bit his neck wholeheartedly, and heard him wail like killing a pig, and felt the fishy smell in his mouth, as if all the resentment from being bullied by him for half a year All can vent.

At that time, I must have sincerely hoped that he would die.

Because I bit it so hard that he left a scar on his neck that would never go away. Even the doctor was amazed that the little girl didn't bite the artery.

Even after I was finally caught by the physical education teacher and lifted into the air, I still shouted hoarsely: "Zhu Yiqiang! Even if I'm a ghost, I won't let you go!!!"

I feel very tragic and relieved.

But in that incident, I completely overturned the image of a good girl in the hearts of teachers and classmates. Everyone believed that Zhu Yiqiang just pushed me mischievously, without too much malice, and my strong desire for revenge was terrifying.

The good children further deduced that my cuteness and cuteness in the past were just pretending. Children at that age hate the so-called "hypocrisy" in their eyes the most. They try to use their own judgment to understand the world and criticize the world.

More and more people began to alienate me and even attack me. It was no longer easy for me to get support for my work as a small class leader.

I can't explain it, I can't justify it, and what I say and what I say is just based on everyone's guess.

Not long after, the teacher no longer let me be the class monitor for some reason.

Zhu Yiqiang was also arranged to move his seat away from me.

I didn't expect that from then on, I would become sensitive and inferior. I always felt that everyone was looking at me and talking about me. I dared not speak actively in class, dared not take the initiative to participate in group activities, and my grades went from bad to worse.

This state continued until I met Feng Xin and Qichun in high school.

I still remember that after the accident, Zhu Yiqiang's mother and my parents went to see the head teacher together.

I don't know how they negotiated it.

All I know is that after I came out, Zhu Yiqiang's mother walked up to me, stroked my hair, and said to me in a pleasant manner, "Don't be afraid, Auntie understands you."

I raised my head with tears in my eyes, and saw a bright and shining face that was [-]% similar to Zhu Yiqiang.

She smiled like a spring breeze, and beckoned Zhu Yiqiang who was still wrapped in gauze around his neck.

"Little bastard." She said flirtatiously and coquettishly, and lightly tapped the tip of Zhu Yiqiang's nose with a finger that was painted with bright powder Koudan: "I'll show you to your classmates too."

I froze for a few seconds, then cried out again.

My parents just came over and took me away quickly.

That's the end of the matter.

In the next two years, Zhu Yiqiang also seemed to have become a lot more silent, no longer so naughty, but his grades were still very good.

A few times I felt that he wanted to get close to me, and I immediately fled far away sensitively, clearly showing my hatred for him.

He finally gave up, and gradually saw me as an enemy.

When I was in the sixth grade, I heard a rumor that he had no father since he was a child, and I was a little soft-hearted in secret.

But in the end it was just a little bit less resentment.

After graduating from elementary school and entering junior high school, many classmates dispersed, and I never saw Zhu Yiqiang again.

Years later, in the air-conditioned luxury ward, I saw that beautiful but cold face.

That face gradually overlapped with that of Zhu Yiqiang's mother whom he had only seen once in memory.

I can't believe this nonsensical association.

However, the Zhu Yiqiang in memory is stubborn, hateful, who went to heaven and earth, and did all kinds of evil;

And the young man in front of him is thin, fragile, delicate and depressed, like a spring flower dying in early summer.

If I hadn't seen the scar on my neck, I probably would never have such an incredible association.

Yanyi is Zhu Yiqiang.

31. I want to take you to my childhood garden for a sit

Miaojie Elementary School at nine o'clock in the morning, the sound of books is still loud.

To the east of the playground, there is a new five-story teaching building built a few years ago.Other than that, little has changed from when we were in school more than ten years ago.

The green paint on the door peels off every year, but it will never end; the hundred-year-old banyan tree has deep roots, defying the years and becoming more and more stable.The gray-haired old teacher hurried across the playground with his lesson plans in his arms, and when he looked up, he could always find naughty eyes peeking behind a certain door.

I thought of the days when I and Zhu Yiqiang were at odds here, and when I looked at the people walking around me, I couldn't help but feel a lot of emotion.

Hikoichi, who was wearing a black hoodie and pulled the hood over his head, also turned to look at me at this moment.

Yanyi has the same pair of slightly narrow eyes as his mother, with charming lines.Such eyes, even when smiling, seem to be unable to see sincerity.

My heart trembled, thinking of his experience.

I also thought of his mother who had only met me once but was no longer alive.

A little sad.

We walked slowly along the playground. The school is not big, and it will be a circle soon.

I asked him, "Are you tired?"

Since he fell ill, he has been in poor health. The boy who was so lively since he was a child is now like a weak girl.

He shook his head slightly.

"Coming."

He led me around to the back of the small school auditorium.

The back of the small auditorium has always been a forbidden place that was rumored by the children back then.

In fact, it was because there was a wasteland behind, and behind the wasteland was an abandoned construction site.With no one there for a long time, weeds and shrubs grow wildly, forming a dense natural wall, and it has become a paradise for all kinds of snakes, insects, rats and ants.

When we were in school, I heard that a few senior boys went on an expedition together, but one of them was bitten by a snake, and a few of them came back urinating. In order to cover up the embarrassment of crying, they kept advocating to other children Encountered all kinds of ghosts.

I was also frightened by these legends so that at night together with Ruosu I insisted on clinging to my mother and rolling under the covers.

Now that I have grown up, I naturally understand what's going on, but I don't understand why Yanyi wants to take me back.

More than ten years have passed. I was timid back then and had never been here. Now it seems that it is not as amazing as in the legend. It is just a piece of wild grass with overgrown bushes. There are some buildings on the other side, like small villas, but it can be seen that they have long been abandoned. In some places, piled up building materials are faintly exposed, and some have been mixed with dust and soil, and the truth is almost impossible to discern.

It seems that this place was going to be developed into a commercial villa area back then, but for some unknown reason, it was abandoned halfway, and there was no turning point after that.

Yanyi suddenly turned around and took my hand, and quickly walked deeper along the back wall of the small auditorium. I reminded him a little timidly: "There are snakes."

He didn't care about it, he seemed to be familiar with the road, but fortunately it was winter and most of the vegetation withered, so he pushed it aside without touching my clothes.

After turning around a few times, I came to a low wall. The low wall collapsed for some reason, and the red bricks had turned gray and black.

Yanyi unexpectedly showed a childlike smile, as if he had confirmed some big secret, and felt relieved.

My heart moved, and I followed him forward.

He let go of my hand, stretched his head to look at the gap, and suddenly raised his leg and stepped over.

I was startled and cried out.

There is still a drop of three or four meters between the construction site over there and this barren grassland, and there are many gravels, so it is a little dangerous to jump directly.

But Yanyi was already standing firmly below, smiling innocently at me.

It turns out that there is a hole under the gap. I don't know why there is a soil slope, so it is easy to pass through both sides.

I also followed his example and stepped over.

As soon as his feet landed, he grabbed my hand again and started running.

I vaguely thought of something, he once said to me: "If I can go back one day, I want to take you to my childhood garden." At that time, he already had a huge and exquisite artificial garden. He was the only little prince in that garden, but he was so lonely.

But now, he started to run, his slightly narrowed eyes were full of smiles.

For a moment, it seemed that I could see the shadow of Zhu Yiqiang, the little boy who transferred to our class in the fourth grade.

Such a smile has never appeared in any time since I met him again.

I was greatly infected and ran wildly with him.

He didn't even ask where he was going.

At this time, the sky was a rare sunny day in winter.

The sunshine at [-]:[-] in the morning is clean and gentle, the color of the sky is light blue and clear, the scars made by the plane flying over are like white hairbands, gentle and enchanting, and the blue sky looks like a beauty.

The tall buildings in the city in the distance seem to be separated by a very thin layer of mist. The big boy in black runs lightly among the rubble and bricks, as if his whole body is embraced by the sunshine.

The wind picked up, and there was only the sound of the wind passing by my ears.

Like wings, like musical notes.

I didn't dare to open my mouth to make any sound, for fear of waking up Yan Yi who was immersed in the old dream.

When we were 12 years old, we graduated from elementary school together. I thought Zhu Yiqiang went to another middle school, but in fact, in the summer of that year, he left City C and changed his name to Yanyi from then on.

He was taken away by his biological father. That person didn't even show up himself. He only sent his younger brother Yan Jingcheng to show him the result of the paternity test, and then quickly went to him without any room for negotiation. Hong Kong procedures.

In fact, who would give the 12-year-old him room for negotiation.

For the past 12 years, my father has been mysteriously absent. Although my mother has a perverse personality, she at least gives him a roof over his head.

But suddenly, the mother gave him up easily too.

She said: "I raised you so much, just for this day, I can exchange such a large sum of money with him. As for you, you will also be the young master of a rich family in the future. How wonderful."

She stroked his head, and then made exaggerated gestures to draw a pile of money, her bright peach blossom face smiled coquettishly.

From beginning to end, she did not shed a single tear for him.

He thought he hated her, and in the first three months after he came to Hong Kong, he called her every time he woke up from crying in his dreams.

But a year later, his biological father told him blankly that she was dead.

It was discovered that her lung cancer was at an advanced stage, and she only survived for three months, but she did not call her son until she died.

Then Zhu Yiqiang completely turned into Yan Yi.

He is crazy, rebellious, self-harming, destructive, closed, struggling, and defending.

Do all useless resistance.

In fact, he doesn't understand that all the unwillingness and self-injury are only useful to those who care.

In that land, no one really cared about his feelings.

He was finally ground into the appearance when we met again in the long and distorted youth.

I was crying in my heart, but no more tears.

Recalling that Yanyi had already pulled me and stood in a small courtyard.

He looked around, showing a little disappointment.

It seems that I want to try my best to find some traces of the past, but the time rolled up the sand and buried the memory.

He pulled me and sat down on a step. I noticed that the steps were covered with thick dust, but he didn't care.

In Hong Kong, Yan Yi has all kinds of bad behaviors and tempers of a rich young master.He never touches anything he considers unclean.

In that big and empty house, the most active thing is always the cleaners who are always taking turns to wipe.

I sat quietly with him.

He continued to turn his eyes slowly, looking at the dilapidated courtyard.

"At that corner, do you see the pile of stones? They have been buried by the soil and can hardly be seen. If you dig it out, you will find a glass bottle underneath, the kind left over from eating orange slices in sugar water. Inside There are some marbles, two blue, two red, and one green."

He pointed with his fingers, and his voice was soft, and he curled his eyes and the corners of his mouth.

It is unbelievable that there is still a warm Yanichi in this world.

"There is also a pile of dead plants in the corner, but they are actually not dead. It is a hibiscus flower. It will come to life in spring. It is like this every year, and it will bloom big flowers."

"Those who have seen the swallow's nest may have moved away long ago."

"There were a lot of ant nests, and I caught four-legged snakes, and then released them."

"Red broken bricks and white pebbles can be divided into different units to fight. I ran from the front yard to the back yard, and I was the commander."

"There is a kind of lavender flower that only grows along the edge of the steps. It is broken and beautiful. I have always wanted to use it to weave a necklace for you and make up with you by the way, but you never look at me or pay attention to me." I."

"At that time, I thought, forget it, what a big deal. Fortunately, I thought about sharing this secret garden with you."

"Later, there was no chance to regret it."

I listen to him all the time.

The wind is so gentle, the sun is so quiet, and Yan Yi said so many words.

At the beginning, he was still a little hesitant and intermittent, but later, his voice became lighter.

Like a child who has been speechless for too long, he finally found the exit.

"I come here almost every day after school. No one knows this secret. This is my secret." The invisible armor on his body fell off piece by piece, but his voice gradually lowered. Perhaps since he left at the age of 12, he Just relax for a moment.

He was so tired that his heart was sick.

"You know? I hate going home, I hate Zhu Xueli, I hated her so much at that time."

"But, she died..."

His head was buried into his knees little by little, and the joy and smiles that were like a flash in the pan disappeared in the air like magic at this moment.

It was still sunny, but he couldn't get out of the black cloud that was pressing down on the city above his head.

I heard that people who have experienced depression are actually simple and pure angels.Trapped in their own castle, they couldn't see clearly the despair in this world, and couldn't let it go.

I held his hand, as I had done many times before when he was ill.

I said, "You don't hate her, you love her, she's your mother."

His whole body shook slightly, but he didn't throw me away.

I grabbed his hand tightly, afraid that he would panic.

I believed he loved his mother, and the piano piece he forced me to learn, which I found out later, was also the best piece his mother played.

She was also gentle, playing that song to lull him to sleep.

It's just that the warmer the memory, the more painful the wound.

I said: "You just have a lot of things you can't understand, such as their past stories, such as why she gave up on you."

I thought he would be furious, mad, scold me and run away.

But he didn't.

But after the unbearable silence, he suddenly raised his head.

He narrowed his eyes slightly, looked at the dead plant in the corner of the wall, then turned his head and smiled at me.

Soft, beautiful, quiet laugh.

I have been with him for a long time, and I often feel that Yanyi's beauty carries a kind of strangeness inherited from his mother Zhu Xueli.

But never once did he make me feel inexplicably afraid.

He smiled and said softly to me: "You know, I have always suspected that Zhu Xueli was killed by someone."

He paused: "The person who killed her may be my father."

(End of this chapter)