If life had a starting line, someone was born in Rome

Chapter 169: Children don’t actually hate studying, but they hate their parents! ([-]-in-[-])

Under Zhao Shengrui's expectant gaze, Lin Feng spoke calmly:

"Sheng Rui's parents, according to what we said before, things have developed so far. Next, the child will tell you how many grades he has passed."

"Suppose, what the child tells you now is that he got No. 11 in the exam. How should you respond to the child at this time?"

As Lin Feng's question came to an end, this time, the couple did not rush to answer the question, but began to make serious calculations.

"Sheng Rui's usual results are between fifteenth and twentieth place. He ranked No. 11, which is a significant improvement."

Zhang Liufang whispered to her husband:

"After considering this, he should be encouraged at this time."

Zhao Zhixing nodded and said:
"Then you should say to your children, 'Sheng Rui, you are awesome'?"

"Well, after you finish encouraging, you have to push the child forward."

The couple looked at each other, and Zhang Liufang told Lin Feng the answer, her tone full of confidence:

"the answer is--"

"Son, you are great! Mom and Dad are so happy and you are making progress!"

"Besides, Dad believes in you. You can go one step further in the next exam and get into the top ten!"

After the words fell, Lin Feng immediately took a breath of cold air:
"It's over, it's over, I'm going to take the quick-acting Jiuxin Pill..."

He spread his hands and looked helplessly at Zhao Zhixing and his wife:
"With your reaction, what does it mean for the child to talk to you two?"

Zhao Zhixing and Zhang Liufang rubbed their noses awkwardly and smiled sheepishly.

This answer not only encourages the child, but also has a vision for the child's future. It is very standard. Why is it wrong?
Lin Feng didn't expect them to think anymore and said directly:
"If it were me, I would only take the first half of your answers."

"In other words, 'This result is really good' is fine."

Ah? ?

Zhao Zhixing was most puzzled when he heard Lin Feng's answer, because he added the second half of the sentence and thought it was pretty good.

Now, Teacher Lin has abandoned it directly, so what’s the problem?

Isn't that the right way to express it?
So what should be replaced with something that would be more appropriate?
But before he could ask, Lin Feng's question came:

"Dad Shengrui, what is the purpose of the second half of what you just said?
"Set new goals for your children!"

Zhao Zhixing almost blurted out:

"Teacher Lin, could this be replaced by a gentler statement? But what I just said was already very gentle."

Lin Feng shook his head and said:
"It's not to put it another way, but this kind of words should not appear in this scenario."

"The child is happy at this time and showing you his results, but what you see is the next exam."

"This is like someone who has just climbed a mountain, gasping for breath, taking a photo and posting it on Moments. Then you hit it and immediately commented on the first floor: No, this mountain is not high enough."

Lin Feng said helplessly:
"Think about it, is it appropriate?"

"At this time, it's not the time to plan goals!"

After the words fell, Zhang Liufang and Zhao Zhixing understood instantly and felt a little embarrassed immediately.

Then, the two looked at Lin Feng and said:
"Teacher, I understand this."

"What about after saying that the results are not bad? According to the child's temper, in this scenario, the matter is not over yet."

Lin Feng nodded and smiled softly:
"That's right, when your child tells your parents about his grades and gets a compliment from you, he will have the next reaction, and that is -"

At this point, Lin Feng switched to a child's tone:

"Dad, are you happy to hear my results?"

After imitating this sentence, Lin Feng looked at Zhao Shengrui's parents in front of the camera.

Zhao Zhixing answered subconsciously:

"Dad was very happy to hear this result."

Zhang Liufang also nodded and followed the child's instructions.

Lin Feng shook his head and sighed:
"At this time, you just can't answer like that."

? ? ? ?
Zhao Shengrui's parents looked at Lin Feng in confusion.

At this time, Lin Feng spoke calmly:

"Sheng Rui's parents, as a teacher, I have heard many parents express such sentiments during my teaching process——"

At this point, he switched to the tone of a parent, and his words were full of resentment:
"The child's study is not for himself, but for me as the parent, alas!"

After the words fell, Zhao Zhixing and Zhang Liufang nodded.

Isn't it?As parents, they worry more about their children's studies than their children!
And as Lin Feng said, this is not a problem for their family. Families with school-going children around them will say this when everyone gets together!

After realizing the problem, a hint of expectation suddenly lit up in their eyes.

Why did Teacher Lin say that?So where is the solution?

Lin Feng looked at the expressions of the two people, paused briefly, and then said:

"This phenomenon is actually all caused by your guidance as parents!"

After the words fell, Zhao Zhixing and his wife's eyes became even more confused.

However, before they could ask questions, Lin Feng continued:

"When your child asks you whether you are happy with my score, the correct answer is this -"

At this time, he had switched to a parent's tone:

"My son, I am very happy to see you today, so dad is also very happy."

After the words fell, Zhao Zhixing and his wife burst into laughter, and then gave Lin Feng a thumbs up.

They never thought that this answer could be said like this!

Moreover, if you think about it, the children will definitely like Teacher Lin’s answer compared to their answers just now!

This is the art of communication!
As long as you learn one and a half tricks, why worry about your children not communicating with you?

Teacher Lin is indeed an educator!
At this moment, the audience in the live broadcast room were also in awe.

"Pfft~ I'm drinking water, Teacher Lin, pay for my keyboard!"

"The CPU is dry. Teacher Lin, please pay for my brain stem!"

"Huh? Isn't this...the brain stem newly grown by everyone?"

"Hahahaha, absolutely!"

"If this trick were used on my daughter, she would definitely have a starry eye!"

"..."

In the room, Zhao Shengrui watched the live broadcast and smiled knowingly.

When I tell my parents this, I just want to share my joy.

The answers given by my parents before not only failed to accept what I meant, but also served as a bucket of cold water.

It has to be Teacher Lin who understands my own moods and thoughts.

Just when Zhao Shengrui was moved, Lin Feng's voice came again, but this time it was his own normal tone.

"Sheng Rui's parents, do you realize the truth behind this answer?"

Zhao Shengrui's parents, as well as the audience who were laughing and joking just now in the live broadcast room, suddenly became serious and listened carefully.

Lin Feng's calm voice fell on everyone's ears:

"At this time, parents must not mention anything about studies and grades."

"Parents cannot be happy just because their children have passed the exam."

"The accurate positioning is that the child is very happy when he gets a grade he is satisfied with. And the parents are happy because the child is happy."

"Do you understand? Once this positioning is inaccurate, parents will be happy only if their children get good grades."

"After a long time, the child's inner feeling will become: I only study to make my parents happy, so if I hate you, I won't study!"

"Look, doesn't this lead the child astray?"

"Now, do you know why this kid Sheng Rui is tired of studying?"

"To put it most directly, Sheng Rui actually doesn't hate studying, but hates you parents." After the words fell, the audience in the live broadcast room instantly lost their joking mood and turned serious.

"Damn it, this is the truth behind it!"

"I didn't think about this at all just now. I thought I had learned another trick."

"Now it seems that I have failed in my studies."

"Ah!! Think about the state in which Zhao Shengrui's child appeared, and the parents' description that he was tired of studying!!"

"Children who are tired of studying, parents who don't know how to do it..."

"In that case...it's not about being tired of studying, but being tired of parents??"

"?? Got in touch!!"

"Damn it, Teacher Lin said so much, we all went off topic. I didn't expect that we are waiting here!"

"6! Teacher Lin played a big game of chess."

"Take good notes, don't look at the superficial surface, the deeper truth is the key!"

"..."

Outside the live broadcast room, Zhao Shengrui looked at everyone's comments and his eyes widened in shock.

then……

Surprise, shame, and all kinds of emotions came to my mind.

Teacher Lin's words actually touched upon his secret thoughts!

Zhao Shengrui has long known that he is actually tired of his parents.

I hate that they are always self-righteous, I hate that they always like to praise other people's children, I hate that they always pour cold water on themselves.

at the same time……

I hate myself even more, I hate my parents!

As a result, he began to suffer from internal friction, which he could not resolve, and eventually fell into depression.

At this moment, Zhao Shengrui's eyes were filled with tears again!
In the living room across the door, his parents were stunned on the spot, and their minds were filled with what their son looked like now.

His eyes were dull, his complexion was sallow, and he was as skinny as a stick...

In the past, they thought that the root cause of all this was that the child was not mentally strong enough and suffered from depression.

I started to feel tired of studying and eating...

What I didn't expect was that all the children's abnormalities were because they hated their parents!
They are the cause of all this!

Thinking of this, tears welled up in Zhang Liufang's eyes, and she asked her husband uneasily:

"Old Zhao, what should we do in this situation?"

"I just realized that the child hates us. Is this relationship difficult to repair?"

"Then he will only be like this from now on?"

"I-I don't want to!"

Facing his wife's repeated questions, Zhao Zhixing didn't know how to answer.

Then, he looked at Lin Feng in the picture.

Lin Feng received his look, paused slightly, and said:
"You and your wife don't have to worry about caring for your children."

"Because a child will never stop loving his parents, but he will stop loving himself."

Hearing what Lin Feng said, Zhao Zhixing and his wife had uncontrollable surprise, confusion, and anticipation in their eyes...

Zhao Shengrui's tears suddenly stopped, and his hands clenched into fists nervously.

"According to my estimation, the source of Sheng Rui's depression lies in internal friction."

Lin Feng's words continued:
"And the reason why he is internally conflicted is because he realizes that he is bored with you. He feels that this is wrong and has no outlet to vent his anger."

"In the face of this situation, you don't have to worry as a couple. As long as you master the correct methods of motivating your children, the parent-child relationship in your family can be repaired."

"And, Sheng Rui's condition will get better as the parent-child relationship improves."

After the words fell, the eyes of Zhao Zhixing and his wife suddenly burst out with a strong and joyful light!

Zhao Shengrui's clenched fist suddenly relaxed, and he stared blankly at Lin Feng in the screen and smiled.

Lin Feng looked at the performance of Zhao Zhixing and his wife, smiled slightly, and said easily:
"Then let's get back to business and go back to the scene we created before."

"Now that the parents have finished saying what they should say, will the child make a small request here?"

Lin Feng smiled slyly and said to Zhao Zhixing and his wife:
"If your child asks you for a reward at this time, what should you do?"

After the words fell, Zhao Zhixing answered in a second:
"Award, reward, reward! We can no longer pour cold water on our children. We know we were wrong!"

Zhang Liufang also nodded fiercely:

"I know my child well, and he won't make any excessive demands."

"It's just that he wants to eat something good, buy some toys that are not expensive, but he wants them, and that's all he needs is satisfaction!"

The couple's reaction made Lin Feng smile slightly, and then shook his head:

"I wouldn't do this if I were you guys."

what? !

I have always said not to throw cold water on you before, but now that I have reached this point, I no longer meet the child's requirements?

Or, what methods should we pay attention to here? ?

At this time, the couple did not dare to speak.

Lin Feng looked at their chattering looks, chuckled lightly, and said:
"What you just did was an exchange with your child, and it was a transaction without an agreement."

"This way of doing things will spoil the children!"

After finishing his conclusion, Lin Feng switched to the tone of a parent and said:
"At this time, I will say-"

"Son, I am your father. It is normal to take you to have a good meal and buy you something you want."

"If you do poorly in the exam, you can make these requests. As long as they are within what dad can bear, dad will satisfy you. These have nothing to do with your grades."

"So, daddy's reward for you is a big hug."

"Dad thought about what you want and feels that it can be satisfied now. In this way, we can make time to go."

After giving his answer, Lin Feng returned to his normal tone and explained:

"The real purpose of this answer is to guide the child and focus his attention on the reward as a 'hug', family affection, and spiritual recognition, rather than material things."

"We want our children to know that as your parents, we must meet your material requirements in life, and we will not decide your treatment in this family just because you are good or bad."

"You are my child and I love you."

"Home is a place of love, not a place of transactions."

Lin Feng spoke to Zhao Zhixing and his wife:

"You two touch your conscience and say, even if this child Sheng Rui is ranked last in the class in the exam, won't you give him food or clothes?"

"Even if the child doesn't go to school at home every day, do you beat him with a whip?"

Zhao Zhixing and Zhang Liufang shook their heads with tears in their eyes.

Lin Feng smiled and sighed:

"This is family love!"

"How can a family trade on grades?"

"Think carefully, do you want to raise a child with a conscience, or a child with excellent grades but no love for his parents?"

After the words fell, Zhao Shengrui's parents fell into silence.

It’s not that it’s hard to choose, but the answer is too simple!

It was so simple that they found it difficult to speak when faced with Lin Feng's questions!

The silence between the two of them was deafening at this moment!

(End of this chapter)