100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(Nine)

Since Yu Haiqiao is already a dead person with me, I have cremated him in my heart, put the urn in his grave, and put the urn in his grave and put it in front of the tombstone. Huahuan, when I saw his car driving a double flash and stopped by the side of the road when I was off duty, I hurried around the small garden on the first floor of the company, and it took me five minutes to go around the side door and try to slip away. As a result, something magical happened. , His royal blue car was parked at the door exit with a double flash, and others were still standing in the security booth and chatting with the security guard downstairs from our company.

After meeting my eyes, his eyes curled: "Are you off work?"

The security guard who was chatting with him in the security booth also took a look. I really admire Yu Haiqiao, a skill that can always amnesia with one click, and then smiled admiringly at him: "Why don't you go to work today?"

He hummed: "I have something in the afternoon, thinking about you working around here and picking you up from get off work by the way." After I walked out of the small door, he grinned at me, "Moved?"

I was not moved. I wanted to put my head into the window of the security booth, and then smashed his head frantically with the window. I smiled at him and said, "I'm moved."

Yu Haiqiao coughed, opened the car door and got into the driver's seat. I opened the back seat and got in. He couldn't sit still, so he immediately got up unwillingly: "I'm not your driver. Give me a seat in front."

I gave him a roll of eyes: "Stop talking nonsense!"

While driving, Yu Haiqiao said, "My mother called today to let us go to her for dinner in the evening."

I asked calmly, "How did you know that I was coming out of the side door?" I was puzzled. I saw this man's car parked at the gate, and I was driving the double flashes for fear that they could not be seen.

Yu Haiqiao glanced at me from the rearview mirror of the car and smiled innocently at me: "I saw your colleague at the door. She said you went to the toilet. Let me wait a while."

"..." I gave a thumbs up to "Holmes" Yu Haiqiao.

He really took me to praise him. He blinked at me very obediently and made my fist hard. He couldn't help but yelled violently, "Why do I want to beat you so much!"

He immediately disgusted and groaned: "What the hell!"

My blood pressure skyrocketed, and I supplemented one hundred ways of Yu Haiqiao's death in my brain. Finally, I stared out of the car window for a while, and calmly told Yu Haiqiao: "I feel a little nauseous."

Yu Haiqiao: "Motion sickness? What did you eat at noon?"

I calmly asked Yu Haiqiao: "When was the last time I came to my aunt?" In fact, it was after one and two o'clock at noon today. At that time, I just finished reading the WeChat that Yu Haiqiao sent to the WeChat group. For a while Qi and blood surged, and then when I squatted down in the toilet, I found my aunt came, and it was Yu Haiqiao's anger that came out, I think.

Yu Haiqiao: "It's just these few days last month."

This dog/forcing my aunt to remember so clearly what she was doing, I held my fist bitterly.

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/forced to speak: "Why don't you have dysmenorrhea?"

I sneered, thinking that Yu Haiqiao’s dog/forced brain circuit might not be able to reflect what I was saying for a lifetime, so I decided to straighten up immediately: "Did you wear a condom last time?"

Yu Haiqiao's voice was slightly confused: "The last time it was yesterday."

"..." I want to kill this dog thing, "Last time!"

"Wear it." Yu Haiqiao replied like a primary school student answering students' questions in class. After answering, he complained, "When should I not wear it?"

"My aunt hasn't been here for more than a month." I turned my head and looked in the direction of Yu Haiqiao, trying to keep my eyes sincere and moving.

I felt that I was in the driver's seat for a moment, and then he looked at me from the rearview mirror with a smile but a smile: "You came on the 22nd of last month."

I calmly told him: "You have a wrong memory."

Yu Haiqiao: "There is a software in my phone that specifically remembers my aunt."

"..." I gritted my teeth. "Anyway, my aunt is very accurate. I think it's a problem if I haven't come yet."

Yu Haiqiao said: "Today is only the eighteenth."

"..." I'm going to kill this dog/force, I wanted to lie to this dog/force that I might be pregnant, make him nervous, let him be at a loss, and let him be confused, but this dog/forced dog is out of control. .

**

The year I just graduated from university, we had a sister who slept with us, and we solved our personal problems very quickly. We also had a baby in our stomach when we held the wedding. The wedding happened to be held on a legal holiday. I paid it back then. Living in my parents' house, I happened to run into Yu Haiqiao when I was waiting for the car at the wedding to go home on holiday. When I saw me, I asked where I was going. At that time, I just graduated and worked, and Yu Haiqiao was still in graduate school.

How about the beauty of distance? Every day I look up with Yu Haiqiao but don’t see him. I only want to beat him when I see him. He is studying at school and I work and live with my parents. Going back to my parents' house to eat and drink and come home with clothes to wash for a week, but the time to meet is still short, so seeing him is a bit more pleasing than before. I told him that a sister in the bedroom was getting married and was going to the wedding. Yu Haiqiao glanced at me and asked very cheaply, "Why didn't she invite me?"

Because I’m close to his university and school, he basically knows my roommates, and occasionally I have to go out to play with the people they sleep in. Someone in our bed has a relationship with his roommates, but they get together in the same way. Yu Haiqiao is a dog. As expected, my roommate is also a dog/force. After three months of dating, he said: "I'm sorry, I don't think you are suitable for me, let's break up."

My roommate was dumbfounded at the time-does it take three months to prove whether it is suitable for this matter? Because my roommate was in love for the first time in my life, I was sad for a long time, and lost more than ten catties in just a few months. Although the people in our dormitory didn't say anything about this, in fact, they were faintly envied.

—I have lost more than ten catties in less than two months. I really want to fall in love and lose love again...

Of course, I didn’t say this to the person who was broken in love. We took turns to comfort her every day. I even called Yu Haiqiao specifically and scolded him. Although Yu Haiqiao looks innocent, in fact no man is innocent. of!

After being scolded by me, he innocently said to me: "But don't you know if the shoes are suitable or not?"

I was immediately angry: "Who the **** are the shoes?!"

After I hung up the phone, I madly scolded the four people in Yu Haiqiao's dormitory with the four people in the dormitory. After that, the people in our dormitory didn't like to play with Yu Haiqiao and the others.

And the reason why Yu Haiqiao and I are still playing...

I don’t know too much, maybe he explained to me later: “I didn’t say that you are shoes, I mean we can all be other people’s shoes.”

When I did not accept his explanation, he blinked his eyes and acted very vigorously: "I'm just a pair of shoes waiting for others to try my shoes."

Because his tone and expression at the time were too awkward, I beat him severely, and said with disgust, "Is it disgusting!"

Yu Haiqiao laughed wildly while hiding.

So my roommate got married. Although it wasn't the roommate who got married, shouldn't it be obvious not to invite him?

However, Yu Haiqiao, the dog, is so thick-skinned that he is breathtaking. He asked me to wait for him after I finished talking about attending the wedding. He went home and drove his dad's car to drive me to the wedding happily.

Because the roommate and the roommate’s husband are both students in our school, and both of them are locals, there are many classmates and people who are familiar with each other. Even Yu Haiqiao also met two familiar people and they were very enthusiastic. Say hello to others.

As a result, all the acquaintances present thought that Yu Haiqiao was my boyfriend. I came to the wedding and brought my boyfriend to a meal. I would eat two meals for one person's money!

Even my roommate who got married with a big belly asked me during the busy schedule of the wedding: "Are you with Yu Haiqiao?"

"?" I gave her a question mark, Yu Haiqiao happily walked over to say congratulations. After my roommate smiled and walked away, I hammered Yu Haiqiao backhand.

"Are you acquainted with someone, you come to attend someone's wedding, do you have the money to prepare for your wedding for nothing?!"

Yu Haiqiao blinked, "Didn't you give it?" He bent his eyes and smiled, "Yours is mine and mine is yours. It's all the same. I even spent a lot of money to give you a barbecue for your birthday last month. It’s a rack."

"..." No one knows what this dog/force brain circuit is like. He will give me a barbecue on someone's birthday, and enthusiastically grilled me a large bunch of half-baked kebabs and chicken wings. After listening to this sentence After speaking, I gritted my teeth and smiled at him, "Yu Gou, go to death."

Yu Haiqiao grinned, and immediately changed the subject: "How many months has she been pregnant?"

"It's been more than six months." I didn't want to talk to her, but when I saw my roommate stubbornly greet the guests, I couldn't help but complain. "I feel a little unacceptable. Suddenly there is something in my stomach."

Yu Haiqiao tweeted twice at that time.

And the time that really made me feel unacceptable was when my roommate gave birth to a baby. I went to the hospital because I had time. After the baby was born, I immediately admired my roommate and deeply realized that I If you have such a character as a mother, you might beat up my cub because he is crying frantically, and concludes that I am not suitable for being a mother.

At that time, Yu Haiqiao was still in school, because I posted a new baby’s circle of friends and WeChat me: "Give birth?"

I sighed to Yu Haiqiao: "It's terrible, I will resolutely not want children in the future."

Yu Haiqiao said over there, "Then you can't get married."

This dog / forced all day long to curse that I couldn't get married. As a result, I didn't marry until I was 27 years old, and finally married a dog like him / forced.

Six months after I had **** with Yu Haiqiao, the dog/forced sex, Yu Haiqiao was very serious about thinking about children with him. Yu Haiqiao told me straightforwardly, "No birth." He said at the time, "I." I’m still a child and I give birth to a kid with wool."

Because there is no such thing as a child in my plan, although this dog/force attitude makes me feel that he is really not worthy of being a father, but I have reached a perfect consensus with him on this, and every time I pass Wear condoms very rigorously during sex.

Once there was no set at home, Yu Haiqiao put on clothes and went downstairs to buy. After I came back, I had no interest. The last two of them simply lay in bed and chatted.

Without turning on the lights at night, I talked to Yu Haiqiao about the funny things that happened when we were young, about the stupid/forced colleagues we met at work, and about a majestic yellow cat in the grass of the community.

In short, there will be one or two moments in a person's life that sometimes feel that dog/force is not so dog/force.