100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(five)

It’s impossible for a person to do any housework when she is cold and violent with her husband. It’s also impossible to put the dishes and chopsticks after dinner in the dishwasher. I clean up and leave the dishes, Yu Hai Qiao’s character who seemed to be able to lose his memory at any time took effect immediately. He sat in a chair lazily and chatted with me about his work: “The company’s website is replaced by a new system. For a while, several colleagues of our desktop operation and maintenance were scolded by the doctor below every day."

"..." I glanced at him in silence, turned around and walked towards the sofa. I have always been very experienced in ignoring him with violence.

As expected, the dog Yu Haiqiao immediately called out in the next second: "Shi Ran, you **** do this again. Did I provoke you?"

Oh, he could actually ask such things, he is a dog/force who is always provoking me all the time, okay?

I walked to the sofa and slowly collapsed on the sofa, ignoring his howling.

He got up from the chair and walked towards the sofa, and while walking, he said: "I want to complain to the relevant agency that you frequently use domestic violence against me."

I snorted.

He walked to the sofa and patted my calf: "Get your feet up, can you look at the honor you are now?"

I lifted my foot and kicked his ass, using my action to show that this person should roll.

Yu Haiqiao, the dramatist, stood on the edge of the sofa and looked at me so seriously that he would call the police in the next second: "You not only used mental violence against me, but also beat me, Shi Ran, you wait to accept the sanctions of the law. "

I rolled my eyes at him, and he pushed my feet to sit under my feet. My feet dangled for a while and rested directly on his thighs. Yu Haiqiao squinted his eyes and stared. I watched it for a while.

Seeing that I suspected that my foot was not on his thigh or on some indescribable organ, I calmly stared at him for a moment.

Yu Haiqiao immediately pretended to be like wind and said, "Okay, how much do you want to pay me this time?"

His rich and wealthy tone seemed to say, "It's cold, it's time to let the Wang Group go bankrupt."

I couldn't hold back the disgusting expression on my face, and I raised my leg and kicked his thigh. Yu Haiqiao's face was blue and then red again. He opened his mouth and yelled, "Where the **** are you kicking Shi Ran," Do you want to have **** in the future?!"

"..." Yu Haiqiao, the dog, forced me to extinguish the sporadic guilt that I had caused by accidentally kicking his important parts. I almost conditioned my reflex and began to ridicule, "Sex with you It’s better to follow the press/stick."

Yu Haiqiao looked at me incredulously, as if he had been the worst insult of living to thirty.

Yes, the **** thing about Yu Haiqiao this dog thing includes, but is not limited to, making/loving things from the very beginning made me think that he and I can end our short marriage relationship.

At that time, we were eagerly discussing whether we went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to obtain the certificate because we were still a mentally handicapped boring agreement during the second period of secondary school.

When I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I made an inexplicable agreement with Yu Haiqiao-"Wait until you and I are twenty-seven years old before we get married or we get married before we get married."

In the end, it was like a curse. We were indeed not married yet at the age of 27.

I still remember that some time before my twenty-seventh birthday, Yu Haiqiao would stare at me thoughtfully from time to time, so I went to the hospital for an ophthalmology appointment at that time.

After hanging up the ophthalmology department, he asked me what I planned to do on my birthday, and I immediately told him that I had been fond of the bag that I had been fond of for a long time and hoped that he would help to settle the bill.

But I did not expect that Yu Haiqiao actually bought a bag to my door on my birthday. At that time, my parents paid me a down payment for a single apartment of more than 40 square meters near the company. During the spring recruitment, I was the company. Every day, I was forced to work overtime. When he knocked on my door, I had already taken a shower and put on my pajamas and was ready to go to bed. I was disturbed by him and made him look for a few times, until he took my dreams from this period of time. The bag was thrown to me, so that my brain didn't react for a while and thought that he had done something maddening and needed me to save the field. All the birthday gifts this dog has given me in the past two decades are things that I don't want at all and roll my eyes right away when I get it.

For example, for my birthday last year, this person gave me a game console, but I have never been interested in games since I was a child. I have never touched a game console before, but this dog will come to my house every few days. Come to play games. On weekends, I can play games at my home until one or two o’clock in the morning. After playing, I roll up a blanket and sleep on my sofa. I wake up and blame my sofa for being too small.

This dog/force wants the game console to give him a gift by giving me a birthday gift. Now the birthday gift is also sent, and I can play the game myself. Rounding up is equivalent to saving money.

The older he gets, the more dog he is. When he was in high school, he even gave me a gift like "Five Years of College Entrance Examination and Three Years Simulation", which made me want to blast him at a glance, but I can barely say that I can use this gift. After that, I will sell the garbage gifts that I send every year directly online in the second-hand market, and it still belongs to everyone who asks me-can I cut them, I will reply-yes, how do you want to cut them.

As a result, when I was twenty-seven years old, he gave me a serious gift. This is so exaggerated that I have to doubt that the ophthalmologist I hung up on him before checked out this man’s eyes and found something incurable. Tumor, I stared at him silently and suspiciously for a long time: "Do you want me to borrow money?"

Yu Haiqiao came in at my door changing shoes, disdainfully said: "How much do you earn in a month, how much do I earn in a month?"

I snorted, but I received a satisfactory birthday gift for my birthday and I didn't bother to care about him for the time being.

Yu Haiqiao turned his head and stared at me with a pensive expression for a moment, and then suddenly asked, "How did your mother tell you about a blind date last time?"

I rolled my eyes: "That stupid/forcing me to wait for him in the cafe for an hour and a half."

Yu Haiqiao actually laughed frantically, then walked to my refrigerator and took a bottle of juice from it. After unscrewing it, he asked me enthusiastically: "What about then?"

I snorted: "Then of course I **** and left." I paused to reveal to him the little victory I had gained from this incident, "I also called my mother to complain, and said She has to introduce me all kinds of garbage, so that she is not allowed to do this again in the future!" I opened my hands to Yu Haiqiao happily, "So now my mother let me go for the time being."

Yu Haiqiao nodded slowly, his eyes suddenly looked at me affectionately: "My mother urges me like a soul."

"?" I was disgusted by the look in his eyes, and felt that the new bag in my hand seemed a bit hot.

Yu Haiqiao slowly walked in front of me with the bottle of juice that he unscrewed, reached out and handed the juice to me, and looked at me up and down for a long time: "Do you remember an appointment we made when we were young?"

"I don't remember." Whether I remember it or not, it's definitely not a good thing anyway, so I immediately made a serious statement.

"I don't remember what I told you, you said that when we were twenty-seven years old, we would live together before we were married or married." Yu Haiqiao blinked at me very innocently.

I gave a disgusting "噫": "Don't make this expression, disgusting."

Yu Haiqiao didn't move at all. He bent his eyes and smiled at me: "Shi Ran, we are rounding up brothers and sisters. You have to help me."

Look at the extent of this dog/dog, I am a good girl who is very prosperous and magnificent in order to help him marry him, and she rounds up her brothers and sisters: "You **** marry your brothers and sisters, Yugou!!" I came out. Li was angry.

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, waved his hand to me very calmly: "Tactical marriage. Tactical marriage. Anyway, you don’t want to get married, and DINK doesn’t want children. If you or I meet the person who wants to get married, I will still You can leave, isn't it just blocking the old man's mouth?"

"..." I looked at Yu Haiqiao this dog/force very vigilantly, "Divorce will be troublesome in the future, right? Are there any issues such as post-marital property? Are you coveting my property?"

Yu Haiqiao paused with a slightly smiling face, and he said with a calm face: "What kind of ghost property do you have? This house is paid by your parents as the down payment, and you have to pay back the mortgage every month until you are 36 years old. "He stretched out his hand and poked it back. "I bought this refrigerator for you at my expense. I bought the bed in the room and the mattress on the bed. I bought the air conditioner, and even the ordinary toilet in the toilet. I replaced the smart toilet for you. What property do you have worthy of my coveting?"

I stared at Yu Haiqiao earnestly and thought for a while, and based on the above words of this dog, I came to the following very heavy conclusion: "You're not going to have a crush on me for more than ten years, right?"

Yu Haiqiao's reaction to me was as if he sneered like a sneer in the world, his face was so cold that he was completely disdainful to answer this question.

I nodded slowly: "That's good, it's disgusting to think about it."

Yu Haiqiao said: "If you marry me, it is equivalent to helping me to help the poor. If I didn't see you growing up with me when nobody wanted me, I would look for you?"

"..."

"You don't know what you look like, and you also have a little bit of your temperament. Okay, the guys who are in love nowadays are all the men who can act like spoiled coquetry."

I was exclaimed after hearing this: "So you are not gay, Yugou, you hide so deeply, you dog/forcibly want to trick me into marrying this ignorant girl?"

Yu Haiqiao took out the ring box from his pocket and threw it to me, turned around to pay attention to me, and groaned, "Hurry up, is it knot?"

I stared at Yu Haiqiao with his back facing me for a moment, and finally opened the ring and put it on my finger.

Then the next day, we both took time off and went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a certificate. After getting the certificate, the man still sat in the car and said to me, "I don't think anything about me. Talking about feelings with me, rounding off is equal to incest."

When I went home and shared this "happy event" with my parents, the two adults immediately happily ordered a banquet for the wedding, and smiled and said that we had a good relationship since we were young. After notifying all the relatives and friends who should be notified to finish the wedding, I was very happy to spend a wedding leave. I spent a few days in the Maldives leisurely basking in the card of Yuhai Bridge. After I came back, I half-forced to move to Yuhai. Qiao’s new home. After I entered the house, I was still a little uncomfortable with my new identity. I was a little cramped when I stood at the door of the bedroom. Yu Haiqiao, a dog who was very self-aware, moved all his belongings to the guest room. He slept on the bed in the guest room and the sofa in the living room for two months. He still laughed at me every day as usual, so he adjusted my mentality very quickly.

Then this forced me to drink a lot one night after receiving the certificate. I rubbed like a dog on my body and mumbled that he was uncomfortable. I thought about making/love because the body can get pleasure, symbolically trying to wake up. The dog failed. He held my head and rubbed my shoulder for a long time. The accident happened before he woke up from alcohol.

Originally, I was quite indifferent, and I was ready to complain about "incest" with me when he woke up the next morning, but the next morning this man opened his eyes and fell directly off the bed, with a pale face. I think I raped/raped him.

I just snorted, Yu Haiqiao looked at me in shock: "I..."

His miserable and miserable expression really doesn’t seem to be a fake. My heart of the Virgin was born suddenly on such occasions. I always thought that this kind of heart had to wait until the dog Yu Haiqiao. The thing will only appear on the day it died. I calmly gave Yu Haiqiao this dog thing for nothing, "Why, I'm afraid I will be responsible for you?"

Yu Haiqiao took a look at me, and he also licked his lips. This dog licked his lips frequently only when he was speaking on the podium as a student representative in the sixth grade of elementary school. I stared at him. After looking at his mouth for a moment, it was clear in his mind that he wanted a big mouth to be scratched on his face, and said: "Go nearby and buy me contraceptive pills."

At that time, Yu Haiqiao walked out of the bedroom with a serious face, frowning, like a dead family member. He was a little bit more embarrassed than when he threw the ring to me when he told me to get married that day.

So I really don’t blame me for always calling Yu Haiqiao dog every day, and I will always complain that he is a dog/force, because he is a dog/force, a dog/force with conclusive evidence.

He bought back the contraceptive pill that day, handed it to me with a rare serious expression on his face, and poured me a glass of warm water at a suitable temperature. When he handed it to me, he rarely asked me seriously: "Did you wear a condom last night?"

"Wearing a contraceptive pill that **** me?" When I'm in a bad mood, my mouth smells so bad that I can hardly communicate.

Yu Haiqiao was silent for a moment.

I continue to smell bad: "I don't even look at the need for condoms when someone in your family has sex? Does your family have condoms?"

"..." Yu Haiqiao pursed his lips.

I continued to feel unhappy: "I don't know if you **** have any sickness yet, but don't let the **** spread to me some messy diseases."

Yu Haiqiao calmly began to order: "Ask the hospital for an individual check-up on weekends."

I was shocked when I heard the words: "You're not really sick, right? If it's passed on to me, I'll be a ghost and I won't let your Yugou go."

Yu Haiqiao's lips were drawn into a straight line, and he said, "I am not sick."

I glared at him, and ate the contraceptive pill fiercely. Yu Haiqiao's hand hanging by his hand was slightly lifted as if he wanted to stop me, but in the end he still didn't lift it up.

After taking the medicine, I put down the water glass and started to go back to my room to pack my luggage. It has only been more than three months for me and him to get a certificate. It might be maddening my mother to go through the divorce now, but fortunately I still have a house. I can move back to live. I probably just packed up my own clothes for the season. I dragged my suitcase to the bedroom door. Yu Haiqiao was still standing next to the sofa. I have hardly seen him so distressed in my life. Looks like, after a moment of silence: "I knew we shouldn't get the certificate, the divorce procedures are troublesome, and it's ugly. It's really ugly for a friend who has been doing this for so long to make such a departure."

Yu Haiqiao licked his lower lip. He looked at me probably because he wanted to laugh, but the smile was really ugly, not in line with his personality as a actor: "Friends don't do it, isn't it necessary?"

Of course there was no need for this. I don’t care about having **** with him. Just feel comfortable, but his nervousness can even be said to be scared. It really makes me feel like I have done something unreasonable to him. , So that he imposed on me the feeling of guilt that I didn’t want at all, I didn’t want to bear it at all. I can ask my aunt to help me clean up the things I left at home, and then you can pack them and send them back to my home."

"Shi Ran." Yu Haiqiao called me behind him.

I mumbled softly, and Yu Haiqiao repeatedly asked me behind me: "I have known each other for so many years. Is it really necessary for my friends not to do it?"

"It doesn't matter whether the divorce procedure is done or not. Anyway, I don't want to get married much now. If you want to do it, watch the time."

"Shi Ran." Yu Haiqiao said again.

"..."

"I don't think it is necessary." He repeated this sentence calmly.

This dog/forced tone made me glaring at him and told him word by word: "I think it's necessary."

He was stunned when he saw me turning his head to talk to him. I dragged the box and went out immediately when he was stunned. It was summer and the dog was so hot outside that I wanted to turn around and pick up the suitcase in my hand and put Yu Haiqiao on the spot. The dog/forcibly smashed to death, after smashing it, I still have to smoke a post-cigarette next to his corpse to make up for the pleasure that I did not get at all before and after **** with him, this dog /The technique is so bad that I suspect that all the island-country love action movies he watched were hacked.

When I was twenty-seven years old, I had a fight with Yu Haiqiao without gunpowder, and successfully set the record for the longest cold war between me and him. Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, did not contact me for three days after the accident. One of the longest fights I had with him since I was young was when he asked me to go out to play marbles in the fifth grade of elementary school. I think anyone who wants to play marbles on the concrete floor is crazy, and then we ignored each other until class the next afternoon. When school was over the next day, he found several kittens on the roadside, and he immediately found me and took me to see the little ones. Cat, this is how we made up.

And for all the other so-called quarrels, in the next second, this person will feel like this has never happened. If I really ignore him, he will apologize to me with disdain and disdain, and then give me everything I can. Compensation to my satisfaction.

But I didn't contact me for three days. On the third day when he didn't contact me, I blocked his WeChat account and deleted his mobile phone number.

On the fourth night my door was hammered by this man. He stood at the door and accused me: "Why are you blackmailing me?"

I roll my eyes to the sky, wanting to close the door and let this man smash to death on the door of my house.

He held the door frame and looked at me seriously and solemnly: "Shi Ran."

I look at him.

He blinked, and suddenly spoke shamelessly: "You are the one with me, you are responsible to me."

Me: "???" I was a question mark when I heard that.

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, deliberately looked at me with a pitiful look: "I am a virgin, you have to be responsible to me."

I really couldn't bear it, and slapped him on the chest with a slap: "Yu Haiqiao is going to die!"

Yu Haiqiao coughed exaggeratedly after being beaten by me. He clutched his chest: "You have an internal injury. You have to be responsible to me."

I was so angry that the hair on my head rushed directly to the sky: "Go away!"

Yu Haiqiao stretched out his index finger and placed it in front of his mouth. After making a "hush", he reminded me in a low voice, "It's night, be careful to disturb the people." He said as he walked directly into my house and closed the door.

"I took time off for three days and spent a long time thinking about it at home. I think—" he started to tell me with a serious face, "I think we have known each other for more than 20 years. Right, and you and I are not sick. It is normal for the body to be relieved if there is a need. Right, we have such a good relationship to help each other to solve/physical problems are quite normal, as long as we don’t cause life problems. Right?"

"Shi Ran, think about who you are going to do or not, there is nothing wrong with me, right? You can see if my thinking is correct. We are all grown-ups. We are in our twenties. Isn't it the truth that you have to sever the friendship for many years?"

…

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, said a lot of words at the time to prove very hard that we had no problem with having sex. It was normal.

I don’t know if he is persuading him or me. Anyway, the more I listen, the more I feel that he can build a heart with myself. The time I slept with him, he still needed him to leave home for three days. Repair my wounded heart? I've been squeezing the subway to work like a dog in these three days, and I won't be late to get a full attendance award for checking in for work. There was another time because that stupid/forced elevator was full of people just now. After leaving, I was able to get the card by climbing the stairs quickly to the company gate wearing high heels. Did I ask for leave? Did I help myself? Do I have it? I don't have it. If Yu Haiqiao is so wronged, do I have to find a psychologist for him and ask him to give him a paid psychological consultation.

I immediately interrupted his words angrily: "Yu Haiqiao, shut up, get out."

He was silent for a moment: "Does it really work?"

"..." I glared at him.

He raised his hands and made a gesture of surrender, in a very obedient posture: "I will swear not to touch you again. I will go to the hotel after drinking and I will not go home. If this happens again, I will be hit by a car and die. Will the insurance beneficiary write your name all right?"

The corners of his mouth curled up slightly: "Shi Ran, there is no need for this, okay?"

I stared at him for a long time, but still couldn't hold back: "Yu Haiqiao, you disappointed me too much."

Yu Haiqiao paused and apologized to me: "I'm sorry, I will definitely not go home next time I drink."

I stared at him.

He had been slightly bent and looked at me with his eyes drooping downwards. He avoided my sight and said quietly, "Never again, don't cry."

I didn’t want to cry very much, but when I heard the words, I couldn’t help turning around and went to the sofa and plunged into my own sofa and collapsed. My leader asked me to recruit people for such a low salary, but also to give me the task indicators for each week’s recruitment. If I failed to complete it, I would deduct my performance award. Woo, I took the subway to work and had personal things caught in the subway, which caused the subway to slow down. After two minutes, I missed the elevator and finally climbed the stairs and climbed to the office, okay oh oh why do you want to ask for leave at home, do you have me miserable? You don’t have to squeeze the subway to work and you don’t need to wear high heels. You don't need to climb the stairs. You still ask for leave to think at home. I didn't ask for leave. Why did you ask for leave? Are you a virgin?

The biggest problem with Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, is that I don’t know why he especially doesn’t see me crying, but when I cry, he immediately becomes at a loss. The breath that the whole person exudes at that time is "I don’t know you at all." What’s so good about girls crying, how can they cry so much? Will they cry until they are short of water", and in this bewilderment there is a little bit "Shi Ran is crying, is she going to be a demon again?" collapse.

His voice came from beside my sofa: "Otherwise I will take my car for you?"

"Your car is so ugly, and I can't drive." I replied to him during my busy schedule.

"I will drive you to work in the future?"

"You... what would you give me a city away from my work place!" I felt even more uncomfortable.

"What should I do then?" Yu Haiqiao seemed to be infected by my anxiety, and his voice was also a little anxious, "Oh, don't cry, or don't go to work." He whispered, "The tigress began to cry. Isn't it okay to not rain in Ewha at all? It's weird."

I lay on the sofa and woo woo woo woo woo, woo all felt that all the pressure of the recent period of time was crying out, and then the nerve called sanity suddenly shrank, and I began to reflect on how badly I was crying. Looks like, after thinking about it for a long time, I felt that I couldn't cry for nothing, and asked in a throat, "Is the beneficiary of your inheritance and the insurance?"

Yu Haiqiao will answer every question: "The first beneficiary is the spouse." After a while, he seemed to suddenly feel that something was wrong, "You won't go to bed at night to strangle me for insurance or want to be there. The food poisoned me to death, right?"

"..." I whimpered twice immediately.

Yu Haiqiao carefully taught me science: "Now the law is perfect, and the police don't eat rice."

I woo.

Yu Haiqiao said: "I can give you my salary card, and I have a little savings for a few years of work."

I don’t want Yu Haiqiao’s bad money at all. I just cried in front of him and didn’t want him to be cool. If this skill doesn’t work, I have another skill: "You are really a virgin, oh ooh."

"..." Yu Haiqiao said nothing.

I snorted in his weird silence and immediately felt refreshed. Then I sat up on the sofa and rubbed my eyes behind me, and patted Yu Haiqiao's shoulder heavily: "Yu Gou, learn The sea is endless."

Yu Haiqiao stared at me with heavy eyes for a long time, then suddenly his eyes curled up slightly, smiling naively, and he said, "Okay."

After that, the frequency of **** life with Yu Haiqiao and I was quite stable, that is, occasionally when I had sex, I would think of this dog/forcing the **** to wake up in the morning after the first time I went to bed, it made me think instantly Kick him off the bed with one kick.

This dog/force is not worthy of having **** at all, he is only worth watching the island country love action movie *** with mosaics.