100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(fourteen)

In my memory, Yu Haiqiao, this dog/bi seemed to say that at the time. This sounded very nice at first, and I was too worried about my safety issues, but think about this dog/bi didn’t happen to be sitting in the co-pilot at the time. Come on, the underlying meaning is definitely—what if you **** drive and cause me an accident? ! My own eyes are like a torch, and none of his little Jiujiu can escape my eyes. Given that he has caused a very big heart shadow on me, after that, no matter how much he asks me to drive, I will never drive. This determination has been carried out very well. Thoroughly, when I married him, our family wanted to buy a car as a dowry, but I seriously rejected it on the grounds that "Yu Haiqiao has two heads and four feet alone and needs to drive two cars?"

Up to now, Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, can point to my nose and say that I am stupid/force, and can’t drive after taking the driver’s license. I think he is really tired of life. My old hatred and new hatreds surged into my heart, and I gave him a fierce look. The phone was so happy that it was so happy that it quaked again at this time, and I connected the voice with a serious face and impatiently. Invitation: "If you have something, let it go!"

Yu Haiqiao leaned against the head of the bed and glanced at me suspiciously.

There was a slight smile on the phone's voice: "You still have such a bad temper..."

I moved my phone and looked at it. It was still this lingering Xiao Chen, the little star of the 18th line really is very idle, right? He also pretended to chat with a woman who was a stranger rounded up with a comfortable tone, too. I hate it. Men are really strange creatures. I hate to say: "This gentleman is sorry that I am not familiar with you. Please don't send me such strange news at night, please?"

"..." Yu Haiqiao glanced at me again.

The person on my cell phone seemed to have an intellectual problem and hummed twice slowly: "I can't get any strange news, Shi Ran, I sincerely invite you to come to the concert."

"No time." I refused very decisively.

Yu Haiqiao sat next to me, suddenly raised his hand slowly and prepared to take the phone that was attached to my ear, while silently asking me: "Herring on the phone?"

I looked at him for a second, Yu Haiqiao had reached out and grabbed my mobile phone. I reached out and prepared to retrieve my mobile phone. He blocked me with one hand and opened my mobile phone with the other. Voice of...

The person on the other side of my cell phone added slowly: "If you don't want to see the concert, I can sell the ticket for you with salted fish, right?"

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/exercising words, immediately responded: "Okay, then you can send the ticket, you can write down the address now..." He said and reported his company's address very quickly. In the past, after speaking, I repeated the question very owingly, "Did you hear clearly, do I need to report it again?"

There was a moment of silence on the phone, and Yu Haiqiao gave me a soothing look very contentedly.

After a while, there was a laugh on the other end of the phone: "Okay, I'll let my assistant post it later."

Yu Haiqiao pondered for a while, put on a mental outlook of his working state and began to speak: "But are you...?"

He said over there, "Ah, I was a friend of Shi Ran when I was in college." After a while, he said with a slightly greasy voice, "Xiao Chen, haven't you heard of it?"

Yu Haiqiao glanced at me. He threw the phone he was holding onto the bed and stared at my phone. For a long time he slowly said, "Oh, I haven't heard her mention it."

I got up and grabbed my phone, spit out the word "goodbye" coldly and politely, and then hung up the phone.

"..." Yu Haiqiao leaned back against the head of the bed, crossed his arms around his chest, and observed me back and forth with scrutiny eyes.

I got back into the quilt: "Look at the fart."

He stretched out his hand to turn my Barra in his direction, stared at me and asked, "Can any one-hundred-eight-line star be able to hold a concert now?"

He said that he picked up his mobile phone from the bedside and immersed himself in typing. After a long while, he began to read slowly: "Xiao Chen, born in Shancheng, once participated in the variety show "Singing Boy", and finally stopped at the top 18 Now he is an actor and a singer..." He said to this point, "Is the top 18 something worth showing off? Does he wish to write on his resume that he passed the freshman exam, the fourth grade, the sophomore exam, and the sixth grade. Grades, four years of university, and finally successfully graduated and got a degree certificate, etc.? Oh, yes, did he have poor grades when he was studying? Maybe he didn’t pass the exam, otherwise he might edit his encyclopedia. ."

Yu Haiqiao’s face was very ugly, and I followed him and snorted: "I still have encyclopedias, do you have them? You don't have them."

Yu Haiqiao glared at me, but did not speak up and continued to read: "Born on November 20, 1994..." He haha ​​spit out these two words very dryly, like the sound of the reading system in a reading software, and then Said, "His face is born in 1994, so I may be a post-00."

I think this person’s age must have been faked. Wasn’t the person born in 1994 much younger than me? It’s impossible. I just feel bored about Yu Haiqiao’s interesting place to open someone else’s Baidu profile. But for this person's evaluation of the other side's fine-tuned appearance, I think it is very unobjective: "You are not very objective." I spoke very rigorously.

Yu Haiqiao glanced at me, lowered his eyes and continued to stare at the other party's information on his phone. The mockery began to increase: "Height is 178 cm." He tittered, "This 178 cm refers to the real height of 169 cm. Cm, he rounded it up and counted himself as 170 cm, combed his hair higher and can grow up to 2 cm, and wore a 2 cm height insole under his feet, plus the 2 cm height that comes with the shoe itself, 176 cm, and then Is it 178 cm for the sake of digital beauty to this extent?"

Yu Haiqiao, the dog's mouth-skilled skill gradually grew, and I had to raise my eyes and look at him squarely. He was still burying his head while sliding the other party's information with his mobile phone, and after quickly flipping through his fingers, he He threw down his phone with disgust, and when he looked at me, he couldn’t bear to look directly at me. He looked sad and looked like a bitter gourd. He said, “Oh, I accidentally saw his photo and dirty my eyes. I think now. A pair of eyes that have never seen this picture."

Yu Haiqiao made me laugh. This dog made me laugh crazily with his acrimonious tone. After holding it for a long time, I couldn't hold it back. I leaned on him to pinch the flesh on his arm. He squeezed and laughed wildly: "You are sick!!"

Yu Haiqiao stretched out his hand and held me up, and spoke to me very seriously: "Where is the disinfectant alcohol? I will go out to disinfect my phone and fingers later."

I couldn’t hold back my hand and stretched out my hand to pinch his chest muscles. This dog is very diligent in fitness. I must objectively say that he is really good. I squeezed my hand twice, and Yu Haiqiao took my hand off and threw it aside. , Looked at me disgustingly, and pretended to be noble and cold, and said to me: "Let's flirt with me, Shi Ran, I'm the one you can't get involved."

I slapped him on the arm and hummed him: "You look too ugly to be jealous."

Yu Haiqiao laughed very quickly when he heard the words: "I am jealous, who am I jealous of?"

I looked up at him.

He met my gaze very honestly, his entire face as serious as if he was attending an important international conference with hundreds of scenes in front of him.

I smiled at him: "I am jealous that others are a celebrity. If you have fans and Wikipedia, what concerts do you have to hold? What are you? You are a programmer working in a pharmaceutical company, and you are going to give lectures to others on a business trip in a few days. Social animals."

Yu Haiqiao blinked, and I saw the corner of his mouth twitched slightly, and then smoothed it down very quickly. He blinked at me slowly, winking, "Do you think my brother looks like this? With height and figure, wouldn't he be better than him in the entertainment industry?"

I stared at Yu Haiqiao, still smiling, and then stepped forward to slow down my tone in his ear, and said softly and gently into his ear: "Your ears are red, stupid."

Yu Haiqiao’s thick-skinned strange species has almost no words such as "sorry" and shy in his life, but it almost means that occasionally the feeling of embarrassment still occurs. At that time, his ears will be jerked. Suddenly red, just like now, so red that I can squeeze out the red ink.

I silently tutted twice in his silence, reached out and touched his head, teasing him: "Hey, my sister loves you."

Yu Haiqiao waved my hand away, then turned off the light, got into the quilt, and uttered two words stiffly: "Sleep."

I have to chase after victory: "Then do you want to disinfect your phone and fingers?"

Yu Haiqiao said, "Shut up!"