100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(fifteen)

Two days before Yu Haiqiao’s business trip, I had a good life, and I was very happy. I ate and drank out with my sisters every day, and I also complained about my husband. I lived a good life every day. My husband divorced, so I can restore my single happy life.

On Friday evening, Yu Haiqiao called me and asked me what I ate for the evening. I told him how I spent the evening happily. After a moment of silence, he said he was eating instant noodles. Then he said: "He is so pitiful..." Then again I told him who I would go with and where to eat something good tomorrow.

After Yu Haiqiao listened in silence, he sneered at me: "Do you count yourself a little bit about your current weight?"

After he finished speaking, I hung up the phone and sent him a WeChat message saying that I was going to the movie tonight, so that he would be fine and call me less.

As a result, the dog went home after watching the movie at eleven o’clock. The dog was forced to go home and was making food for himself in the kitchen. When I opened the door, I was stunned. I almost thought I had hallucinations. Yu Haiqiao shouldn't be hallucinated. This is not objective, so he asked, "Aren't you on a business trip?"

He didn't know what he was cooking. He turned his head and glanced at me: "Isn't it a weekend? A business trip has to be over the weekend."

I nodded to him, expressing my admiration for his work concept.

The dog/ was forced to eat and drink to lie down on the sofa and asked me to squeeze a glass of juice for him, saying that he eats very greasy when eating out these days and needs refreshing things to light his stomach.

I took two bitter gourds from the refrigerator, fried them into juice, put them in a glass jug, and sent them to him, and told him with a smile: "This is good, you have to finish drinking, don't let me down."

**

Yu Haiqiao, the dog, has had a smooth life from childhood to adulthood, and his brain is good, from childhood to adulthood, and he has never encountered something normal people would encounter because of being scolded for abnormal exams.

So he doesn't like to endure hardship.

Don't ask me how I came to such a conclusion, or argue with me-who the **** likes to suffer? !

I just like it. I like to drink bitter gourd juice to clear away the heat and reduce the fire. It is the best companion for living at home and getting soaked at the corner of the mouth by Yu Haiqiao.

To what extent does Yu Haiqiao don’t like to suffer hardship? In elementary school, the school gave every student a mandatory vaccination, and every student stood in line according to his seat and waited for the vaccination.

Yu Haiqiao was very short when he was in elementary school. He didn't know how he grew up the day after tomorrow, so he jumped up to 1.8 meters tall inexplicably. Because his grades are good and his appearance is pleasing, he has been sitting in the first three rows in elementary school for a long time. On the day when the school uniformly vaccinated the students, his original seat was very forward in the second row. As a result, all the students in the class went to the party one by one. For the vaccine, he lined up and became the last one in the class. After unavoidable, he wailed and crawled under the table. That look really slurs.

When I think about it, I feel ashamed for Yu Haiqiao.

When a person grows up, he can barely pretend he is not afraid of injections, that is, he does not take medicine. Since he became an adult, he has mastered the autonomy of his own body, and he has never taken medicine. He also makes a definite excuse to say- Three-drug.

When I was in college, at that time our dormitory hadn't quarreled with the people in their dormitory. At that time, it was still very happy and beautiful youth atmosphere. In winter, I don’t know which nerve suggested to ride a bicycle around a very famous lake in our local area. , But also set up a barbecue by the lake for self-barbecuing.

Oh, on the day of the barbecue, I grilled chicken wings for everyone enthusiastically. The chicken wings were not cooked several times. Finally, Yu Haiqiao took over my position as the spoon, frowning and said: "I will buy it for you when you celebrate your birthday. A barbecue grill, you can practice your barbecue skills, do you know that you can eat people to death when you bake things?"

We **** seven people in two dormitories, and a sister who kindly refused our invitation to ride around the lake in winter and barbecue on the lake because she was dating her boyfriend. It turns out that she was right. She was too prescient, anyway. I was standing on the edge of the lake and was blown fast by the wind to become a fool/force.

And I deeply suspect that the smiling face that everyone barely maintained at the time was nothing more than a stiff face.

The last few people had not eaten enough, and frozen half to death. Five of the seven people in the group fell ill, including Yu Haiqiao.

I was sick and left my nose for a few days and decisively went to the school infirmary to prescribe cold medicine. After drinking hot water for many days, the cold became better after a few days. Yu Haiqiao asked me to eat hot pot every weekend. He wears a hat on his head and a mask on his face, and his eyes are still red. I was taken aback when I saw him at the back door of our school—"Have you been inhaled by a goblin these days?"

He waved his hand weakly at me: "Don't be pornographic."

"..."

When he arrived at the hot pot restaurant, he didn’t take off his mask or hat, and he didn’t even use the chopsticks to sit opposite me and cough wildly. This really affected my wonderful mood of eating hot pot. I poured him a cup of hot water and asked him to wait in the restaurant. I went out to find a pharmacy and bought him several medicines. When I took it back, he took off his mask and was blowing his nose. After I sat across from him, he slowly put on the mask again.

I gave him medicine, but he said not to take it.

Because this dog/force didn't like taking medicine since he was a child, I explained to the patient very gently: "This is the medicine I have taken these few days. I have a good cold."

He said in his throat: "Scientifically proves that a person's cold cycle is one week."

"..."

He maintained a popular science attitude and interacted with me and started asking questions: "Do you know how long it takes to take cold medicine to cure a cold?"

I am indifferent: "A week?"

He wore a mask and showed me a pair of curved eyes, complimenting me: "Smart."

I unpacked the cold medicine package, took out a plate of medicine inside and threw it in front of him, continuing to be indifferent: "Hurry up and give me the fuck!"

He glanced at me, and that glance contained a lot of emotions.

Specifically, it probably includes—surprise, doubt, resentment, helplessness, irritability, headache, grievance...

Wait for emotions.

Don't ask me how I saw so many emotions in the eyes of a sick person, because I guessed every word above.

Probably because of the strong aura I said that sentence, in the end, Yu Haiqiao took off his mask and took a pill.

I thought about it for a long time afterwards. What was Yu Haiqiao doing? A man who was about 1.8 meters tall would take a medicine when he got sick, and the medicine was a capsule medicine, but anyone with an IQ would not be stupid. /Forcing you to crush the capsule and eat it? !

In the days that followed, I became increasingly suspicious that Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, might have a princess disease?

When my marriage with Yu Haiqiao barely reached two years, this person fell ill again. Because he doesn’t like injections and medicines, he exercises very diligently every day. He usually doesn’t get sick very much, so he gets dizzy when he gets sick. I couldn't get up, so I took a leave of absence from his company and my own company, and prepared to take him to the hospital for treatment.

He groaned in bed and said, "I'm not going to the hospital."

I think that people who are sick should be more sensitive and fragile, so I comforted him very gently: "It's so uncomfortable to go to the hospital. I still have a fever. What if I get a fever?"

Yu Haiqiao groaned: "You can remarry if you are a fool."

"..." Although Yu Haiqiao is usually an unreasonable man making trouble, I didn't expect him to make trouble so unreasonably when he had a fever and illness, so I soothed him, "Yes, yes, I can remarry if you are stupid."

Yu Haiqiao originally half-squinted his eyes, and suddenly glared at me when he heard the words.

At the time, I was more worried that Yu Haiqiao would be stupid. I didn’t mind that he dared to stare at me. I thought about whether this patient would not cooperate or go to the hospital and I would not be able to move him. Then he walked away from his bedside and suddenly said, "Shi Ran."

Startled me, I turned my head to look at him: "What are you doing?!"

He reached out and touched his head, very aggrieved: "I have a fever."

"..." Me, "I know."

"I want to eat egg custard," he said.

"?" Why would anyone still think about eating when they are sick and feverish? Yu Haiqiao's brain circuit makes me a little puzzled, but of course I don't care about someone who is sick and has abnormal brains. I soothed, "Okay." I'm going to steam egg custard now."

"..." Yu Haiqiao was silent for a moment, and then said, "But your cooking is terrible."

"..." I took a second to stabilize myself, and then said, "Then don't eat."

He: "I want to eat fried chicken."

"..."

"I want to eat Li Ji's fried chestnut."

"..."

"I want to eat pudding."

"..."

"I still want to eat..."

I smiled and asked him: "Do you want to eat shit?"

I know that I shouldn't say this to a sick person with an abnormal brain, but only if the sick person knows that he is a patient.

Yu Haiqiao was lying on the bed on his side, his face burnt red. He looked at me and blinked his eyes slowly, then he laughed slowly, because his throat was already a little compressed, which made him laugh. It looked a little gloomy. After he laughed, he said to me solemnly: "I don't want to."

After a while he said, "I want to eat ice cream."

"You fart." I'm out of anger.

He blinked and smiled. After a while, I was going to go out to find fever-reducing stickers to stick on him to prevent him from turning from a silly/force into another form of real idiot/force, and I could steam him an egg custard by the way.

Before stepping out of the room, Yu Haiqiao coughed twice on the bed, and then called me out again: "Shi Ran, where are you going?"

I turned my head to look at him: "Find medicine for you."

"Don't eat," he said.

"..." At that moment, I clearly felt the reason why I didn't want to have a baby. If everyone was like Yu Haiqiao, I might not help kicking him off the bed and squeezing him away. Put cold medicine into his mouth for him.

Yu Haiqiao called me again: "Shi Ran."

Me: "Does a person's fever burn out IQ and age?"

He half-squinted a smile, and stretched out his hand to the side of the bed: "Come here."

"It was only because of your illness." I defended my dignity while walking towards the bed.

Yu Haiqiao took my hand after I got to the bed. He closed his eyes, and his cheeks were still burning red. He groaned and said, "Don't go."

"Stay with me, don't leave."

**

Of course, if after I put the anti-fever stickers on him, he didn't show me that I was giving him poison when I took the medicine to him, then my words are quite touching.

Oh, and if he didn’t buy fried chicken, stir-fried chestnuts and pudding after the fever was gone in the evening, and said while eating, "Shi Ran, you steamed the egg custard is too weird. It's so simple that you can just talk. You didn’t do anything that a child can teach you to do well. Tsk tsk tsk."

At the end, he also received three ridiculous tuts.

He is not so cheap to say this, so he won't be forced to eat the "weird" egg custard that I steamed for a whole month in the future.

right. Yu Haiqiao no longer eats egg custard, he doesn't even like eggs now.

Such a picky eater really worries me, alas.