Unrequited Love

The coachman was still using a slick accent to introduce to them the origins of the names of the hutongs, which celebrity’s residence was once, and who has bought it now... Luo Zhi listened in a trance, in fact, he paid more attention. It was the squeaking sound of the tricycle and the faint fragrance from the tip of the nose.

Why does he always smell of washing powder? Is it because the clothes are not rinsed? Maybe he didn't know it himself. She lowered her head and snickered, such minutiae.

At a steep slope, the tricycle was struggling to get up. The coachman left the seat and stood up and pedaled hard. Luo Zhi felt that the creaking sound seemed to be rubbing his own heart. Looking at the 50-something, white-tempered coachman, he couldn't bear it, so he said carefully behind his back: "Look... Let's go down first?"

"Yo, girl, after shattering your boyfriend, come to shatter me again?"

Sheng Huainan couldn't help but smile, the car finally climbed up the **** with difficulty, and soon it was downhill again, the speed of the car became much faster, the wind passed by the ear, a few strands of hair swept across the cheeks. Luo Zhi was a little frustrated, and said angrily, "I'm kind."

"No, I know, you have a fiery and kind heart and twenty yuan!"

The coachman laughed heartily after speaking, Luo Zhi shut his mouth honestly and glanced at the grinning person beside him.

"Guess, what am I thinking?" He still couldn't stop smiling, the light in his eyes made her afraid to look.

"You are thinking, I also have today."

He nodded: "Unfortunately I can't always guess what you are thinking. You have too many thoughts."

Luo Zhi didn't know how to respond. She looked at the window made of plastic sheet and slowly suppressed the dark thoughts: "At least you are right about this. I do have a lot of concerns."

"And I don't like explanations, as if explanations are very cheap."

She smiled: "Then I am really aggrieved to live."

"Not really."

Luo Zhi has always believed that although he does not like to talk, he is not bad at talking. However, at this moment, watching the only person in her life who kept thinking and missing, slowly trying to approach her, she suddenly became speechless and didn't know how to lead him over.

"I guess you have always wanted to have a confidant with a deep heart."

Sheng Huainan continued his psychological exploration with interest, but Luo Zhi was distracted. She doesn't want a confidant, and she doesn't just want others to understand. On the road of her growth, she didn't know when she had shielded other people. Except for her close relatives, there was only one vague Sheng Huainan. She never wanted to let others understand her, but she never refused to understand her. Have never hoped for a confidant, so seldom disappointed.

Maybe she had let others down, such as Ding Shuijing, but she didn't feel guilty.

Indifference is a disguise for resistance.

However, if the "other" is Sheng Huainan, Luo Zhi doesn't know whether she will extravagantly ask for a good heart.

"It's just an irresponsible myth that makes us have high and irresponsible expectations of others. If we don't explain it, others will misunderstand me and it won't make me fall into the cause and effect that they imagined. We are all ordinary people. Without great wisdom, you will fall into the pain of praying for others to understand yourself."

She said slowly, but she didn't know what she wanted to say.

"Girl, it's weird for you to say that, so if someone framed you for killing someone, and you are about to retaliate, you can not explain?"

The coachman suddenly intervened, and Luo Zhi was shocked by his words. After thinking about it, she didn't know how to refute it—in fact, she was too confused just now, and couldn't even remember what she said.

"Girl, don't be angry, I watched you two chat, and didn't listen to me to introduce you, so I interrupted, you guys go on talking, don't listen to my nonsense. I think your realm is indeed good, but I am talking too. The roughness is not rough."

Luo Zhi admitted that the coachman was very truthful.

"Perhaps looking at the big picture, even if you are wronged or killed in this life, it doesn't matter. Anyway, he has his karma, you still continue your cause and effect, the six reincarnations, the road is still long. However, we are all It's a stupid mortal who can only see this life. Many things, it's better not to see through." Sheng Huainan interjected in time to relieve her.

Just when Luo Zhi was stupefied about whether his twenty years of life had been too sloppy and reckless in terms of interpersonal relations, Sheng Huainan suddenly said: "It's really hard to have a good heart with you."

After being silent for a while, he said again: "But I still hope that there will never be a misunderstanding between us. It is impossible for ordinary people to have a good heart with you, but I am not an ordinary person. Leave this difficult task to me."

Sheng Huainan blushed slightly, and after speaking, he turned his head and glanced at the Hutong compound outside the window, without seeing Luo Zhi's eyes filled with tears instantly.

At the request of Sheng Huainan, the driver stopped the car at the entrance of the alley of "Jiumen Snacks". Sheng Huainan paid the money, then pulled her sleeve and walked inside. Luo Zhi turned her head and passed the tourists behind in twos and threes to see the coachman who was wiping sweat, but it was a pity that he still had her back on her back. She hadn't looked at the driver's appearance carefully from beginning to end.

During lunch, two people ransacked "Jiumen Snacks". King belly, crispy fresh milk, deep-fried cakes, donkey rolling, tofu nao...the table was set up, and Sheng Huainan suddenly asked, "Drink soy juice?"

Luo Zhi shook his head like a rattle: "I heard it looks like swill."

He smiled: "Your description is the same as my dad said."

"Yeah, everyone said that."

"Life is not complete without drinking!" Sheng Huainan still did not give up persuading.

"Why don't you drink?" she asked him back.

"...My life is complete."

"Oh, you can tell from your appearance, it's better to have a broken life."

Luo Zhi ate all the crispy fresh milk, and finally felt a little unable to move.

"I'm really wise, I should bring you to the buffet at night. It's a huge profit, and it successfully interprets the highest level of buffet." He raised his eyebrows and looked at her badly.

"Ok?"

"Hold the wall in, hold the wall out."

Luo Zhi learned the action in the fighting cartoon, and a hand knife greeted him on the back, but he was caught with his backhand. Both of them tried very hard, and there was no reaction at first-until they both relaxed, she realized that the fingertips he was holding in the palm of her hand suddenly became hot, so she quickly pulled her hand out and said, "Let's go."

It took a long time for Sheng Huainan to find his voice and said, "Go skating."

Outside the glass in the rest area, many children practice spinning under the guidance of the teacher. Luo Zhi looked attentively, and when he reacted, Sheng Huainan had already put on his skates and was looking at himself helplessly. She quickly sat down, put the white pattern knife to her feet, and began to take off her shoes.

Because of being watched by him, Luo Zhi was very nervous, complaining in his heart why he was wearing such troublesome boots. She reluctantly put her left foot on, and accidentally tied her shoelaces to a knot. When she started to wear her right foot, Sheng Huainan suddenly half kneeled in front of her.

"You're so stupid, are you sure you weren't the university that went through the back door?"

Luo Zhi stopped his hand. He hadn't chewed clearly the ambiguity and care that overflowed with this sarcasm. He already lowered his head, took the shoelace in her hand and began to wear the shoe hole, moving smoothly and neatly.

When tying the shoelaces, Sheng Huainan's head was pressed against Luo Zhi's knees, making her legs soft. The smell of shampoo is mixed with the smell of washing powder on the scarf.

In a trance, he was already holding hands and skating on the cool ice rink. He didn't even refute when he laughed at his three-legged cat's skating level. Instead, he really bowed his head docilely and shyly like a kitten.

When she sat on the sidelines to rest again, she suddenly wondered what she would be feeling if she remembered today many years later.

That mood depends on how much time has passed, and even more on the final result of the two of them.

"What do you want?"

Luo Zhi glanced at him and said slowly, "Aren't you better than the average person? Give you a chance to use mind-reading."

"You have lived for twenty years, and I only knew you for two months. You have to give me some time." He handed over a chocolate which tasted much more lovely, and he tore a strawberry tasted by himself.

"You like strawberries?" Luo Zhi wanted to laugh, suddenly remembering what Luoyang had said, do you girls all like the taste of strawberries?

"I don't like it," he took a sip of ice cream, "I only remembered after I bought it. You like chocolate and don't like strawberries, so I'll take this one."

Luo Zhi remembered that he had accidentally mentioned that he liked chocolate ice cream while chatting. She squinted her eyes and said to him, "Thank you."

"By the way, your midterm exams are all finished, right?"

"Well, it's over, including the mid-term papers of the Faculty Guide."

"However, the end of the term is coming soon."

"Yes, soon."

"Let's go to study together later." Sheng Huainan suddenly proposed.

"Okay. Where do you usually go to study?"

"Library, how about you?"

Luo Zhi explained seriously: "The library always needs to take up seats, and the air circulation is not good. But one advantage is that the tables are very large. I usually go to a teacher, and they are a little shabby, but there are few people. Find a seat specially."

"No wonder I always meet various classmates in the library, but I never met you."

"I rarely borrow books."

Sheng Huainan asked in confusion, "Don't you like reading?"

"Yeah, but I prefer to buy them back. I like new books. Books in the library have been touched by many people. They are dirty and hot to the touch."

Sheng Huainan burst into laughter suddenly.

"What?" Luo Zhi asked puzzledly.

"Fortunately you are not a boy..." He stopped talking and continued to laugh.

Luo Zhi tilted his head and thought for a while, and then laughed: "The virgin complex? It's not here. The point is not here. Even new books in the library, I don't like them."

"Then why?"

"Because sooner or later I have to return it back. I feel very flustered when I think that one day it doesn't belong to me. I must buy it in my hand, hold it in my hand, and make excerpts while watching it, and keep it as new. Let it stay on my bookshelf obediently. However, the bookshelf has long been unable to fit, there is a large box under the bed."

"Can I understand it as too possessive and too little sense of security?"

Luo Zhi stuck his tongue out: "Do you think psychology is such a simple learning?"

Sheng Huainan also stuck out her tongue. She felt her ears become hot again, so she turned her head quickly.

"But sometimes you can see interesting things in the library. For example, in the movie, a man and a woman accidentally collided, and the book fell apart, and then..." He began to laugh again, "It's really cliché. In his freshman year, Zhang Mingrui would bump into one at random every time he said that he would leave his seat to go to the bookshelf when he was tired. He himself said that this was the legendary luck-unfortunately, every time he bumped into four-eye steel Tooth, academic machine, no sister in white with fluttering hair."

"He should go to areas such as classical literature to get lucky. This kind of thing depends on the number of girls in each college?" Luo Zhi suddenly appeared in the mind of Zhang Mingrui's hippie smile, and couldn't help but began to laugh thief. Xi.

"However, even though I understand his psychology, I still feel that the real'unintentional encounter' is more sensible, and it will feel a bit destined to recall."

Sheng Huainan's words made Luo Zhi a little depressed, yes, why don't I know, she thought silently, without speaking.

"Back then, when I liked Ye Zhanyan," he said, Luo Zhi couldn't help turning his head to look at him in amazement. Sheng Huainan's original sentence was scared to a halt by her, "What's wrong?"

"No, just... the topic changed too quickly."

He raised Ye Zhanyan in front of her and made no secret of it in such a casual tone. A stone fell in her heart. The previous speculations caused by Zheng Wenrui's words and text messages in the playground are self-defeating. He can already mention her calmly, can't he?

"I fell in love with her at the time, so I had a lot of expectations for boring activities like going to the cafeteria to eat, or in other words, all the activities that went out of the classroom, I would be very happy if I met this way, but I would definitely not be particularly interested. Run out and wander around. Many people will deliberately walk in the corridors between classes to increase the chance of meeting someone in their hearts. However, if you try to limit your actions and keep your life in a normal state, you have one more expectation , That would feel very different, I don’t know if you can understand..."

"It seems that fate came here by yourself, rather than you deliberately looking for it."

"You are much more concise than me," Sheng Huainan made a cramped expression, "Long live liberal arts students."

Luo Zhi ignored: "Could it be that there are no differences at all? There are no special actions?"

She didn't know what the answer was expected.

"But there will still be a little change, maybe you will laugh when you say it."

"I promise not to laugh."

"At that time, I knew she liked to chat and walk on the playground with her friends after dinner, and occasionally she would sit next to the flag-raising platform for a while, so before every meal I would run to occupy the space and stand on the flag-raising platform. Under the basketball hoop next to me, my buddies soon saw the clues. Later they were very interesting to help me take up space. Sometimes I saw her in the corridor and passed by, and I would suddenly and next to me. My buddy was joking, deliberately laughing loudly and cheerfully. My friends thought I had intermittent epileptic wind during that time."

You will have such a performance? Luo Zhi laughed: "But, don't you feel awkward? For example, afraid of embarrassing yourself? I know that boys playing together can be very savage and swear words, so would it be because of her presence? , Expressions and movements become unnatural?"

"Ah, yes. However, even if you are awkward, the more you think about scoring when shooting, the more unstable you are. Not only do you not show up, you often get embarrassed, but, think about it, that feeling is not bad."

Sheng Huainan smiled heartily, Luo Zhi lowered his head to look at his toes.

He was so dazzling, he was even more cute when embarrassed. Pursue it openly, express it openly, whether it is brilliant or embarrassing, it is so bright and proud in memory.

that's nice. Their love is so open. Love should have been so magnanimous.

Sheng Huainan interrupted her thoughts: "By the way, I don't seem to have seen you in high school."

"Really?" You have seen it, but you didn't pay attention. Luo Zhi felt that the discussion was boring.

"You must be a resident classroom person, and you always don't go out. We are very conspicuous to the number of boys and girls in the door class. They are walking in the corridor every day. Once we went to the toilet for a few days without seeing them on the road. Individuals, I doubt if they have dropped out of school collectively."

They are conspicuous, so if you don't see them for a few days, you think they are missing. I just squatted at the door of your class every day, as if I had never appeared before. Luo Zhi smiled and said, "It's more comfortable to stay in the classroom. You can continue to read novels and comics after class, and of course I also read it in class."

"Reading more is good," he nodded, "you can learn from others' lessons."

"Actually, reading a book has no guiding significance more often, but it lets me know that there is no shortage of people who are aggrieved in the world."

He looked at her earnestly: "Do you feel aggrieved?"

"Didn't you say that I have a lot of trouble? Forgot who on the tricycle said I was aggrieved?"

"Don't you have good friends?"

Luo Zhi tilted his head and thought for a while. In fact, she didn't need to think about it at all, but she didn't want her to say "no" categorically that would make her perverted: "Um...no. I mean, that kind of trustworthy friend, no. ."

"So just read?"

Luo Zhi didn't know how to explain, she was afraid that Sheng Huainan would think she was indifferent and weird-but after another thought, why did she hide it? She did.

"Then if you feel confused and have something you can't figure out, what should you do if you don't communicate with your friends? Will there be answers in the book?" he asked.

"There should be no, but at least I will let you know that there are many people who have had the same troubles as you and are looking for answers from ancient times to the present, and you are not alone. Moreover, there is indeed a lot to learn from the previous experience."

He laughed again, and Luo Zhi realized that there were tiny dimples on his face.

"Really? For example, once in love with each other, why did it become so boring? Is there an answer in the book?"

She just smelled a bit of joking sadness from his words. She guessed the reason.

"Said Camus," she answered him slowly, "love can burn or exist, but it won't coexist."

Sheng Huainan was silent for a while after listening, and said, "Well, my dad is right. It's good to read more books. It's much more profound and simple than those mother-in-law guys."

Luo Zhi stared at his shoes and slowly said: "We are forced to have a little wisdom in life by the trivialities of daily life. It speaks clearly, it is better than a thousand times, and there is no room for its own use. All things are not unprecedented."

Sheng Huainan was silent for a long time, stretched out, and leaned back in his chair: "This is how you feel the existence of your ancestors, and then you will not be alone?"

The words were a bit teasing, Luo Zhi was not angry.

In addition to making her frustrated with her own vulgarity, the book once gave her a lot of happiness. In her lonely and humble teenage years, when the envy of those glamorous youths gradually grew, another sense of superiority rose at the same time, as if an old man was looking down at a sad child. And these sense of superiority all come from those books.

Naturally, it also comes from her poverty and vicissitudes.

She did not refute, stood up, threw the ice cream wrapper into a nearby trash can, and said, "I'll go skiing."