Nuke Miko: Chronicles of America

Next, Megumi Akiyama asked Buster to call her stray cat brother, and performed a witty "cat VS evil spirit" hand-to-hand battle.

Then, the audience learned a conclusion that didn't feel very pleasant, but it seemed natural after careful consideration.

——It is true that cats are naturally able to restrain evil spirits, but cats may not actively seek and hunt evil spirits.

After all, for lazy cats, evil spirits are neither edible nor fun.

Just like a lazy cat that is full of food and drink, it is likely to watch the mice running around, but still squint its eyes and remain indifferent.

Your cat is also likely to watch the evil spirits scurrying around in the living room, scaring the children to cry, but still napping on their stomachs, too lazy to move.

There is no way, cats are such a disobedient little naughty, anyone who has raised cats should have a little understanding of this.

Of course, as a Japanese witch with strong roots, Megumi Akiyama also showed the audience the traditional Japanese talismans to remove spirits.

——You can shoot the talisman infused with spiritual power on the head of the evil spirit, or you can tie the paper tape of the talisman to the arrow, and shoot it with a bow.

Then, the unlucky evil spirit will let out a shrill scream, burn with the talisman, and finally turn into a pile of ashes.

At first glance, it seems quite chic.

However, the little witch Akiyama Hui did not deliberately sell her talismans to consumers because of her profession.

Instead, she solemnly told the audience that when eliminating evil spirits, the talisman will automatically heat up and zoom, and even catch fire. If one is not careful, it can easily cause a fire. In a place like the United States where there are wooden houses everywhere , such removal of spirits is especially dangerous.

——Thus, these talismans used to save your life can sometimes kill you in turn, so you must be cautious when using them.

More importantly, since there is no real Inari Shrine in the United States today, her talismans cannot be mass-produced, and it is impossible to meet the needs of consumers, so I can only ask everyone to try to use other more feasible methods. Hit ghosts and so on.

In this regard, the hostess Vivienne, who has recovered her composure, naturally complimented her repeatedly, saying that Megumi Akiyama really has professional ethics.

All in all, after a "demonstration of killing evil spirits" using all kinds of "Qimen weapons", after scoring by the on-site personnel and the audience, it is somewhat unexpected that the most acclaimed weapon is not the electric light Flashing, seemingly cool, but actually difficult to load, a single-shot Taser gun-this thing is an "anti-human weapon" after all, not designed to fight ghosts-but a tool for killing flies 【Salt bomb gun】.

This kind of salt bomb gun called "Bug-as alt" is an invention of a top handicraft house in California. It is now on the market. It looks like a plastic toy gun. The unit price is only 25 dollars. The main difference from toy guns is that the "ammunition" is just salt.

This substance can eliminate annoying insects without hurting flowers and plants. Even if it accidentally hits the human body, it will not cause any damage to the skin.

But in actual combat, this kind of plastic toy gun, which looks crude and not cool enough, has a surprising ability to destroy demons and exorcise evil spirits.

——First of all, the salt bomb gun can be fired in bursts like a semi-automatic rifle, unlike a Taser gun that can only be fired once and has to be reloaded.

It is also very simple to load, just pour salt into the salt chamber of the gun body.

Secondly, the single-shot lethality of the salt bomb gun against the evil spirits is indeed limited, but the refined salt sprayed from the muzzle still has an obvious deterrent effect on the evil spirits.

For ordinary people who are willing to pay for it, they value "self-defense" more than "killing the enemy".

——It doesn’t matter whether you can kill the evil spirits, as long as you scare the evil spirits away and let yourself survive, it will be a good result.

Finally, for the North American people who are full of martial arts virtues and like to play with guns, pulling the trigger and firing at the rampant evil spirits is obviously better than holding an electric mosquito swatter tremblingly to slap the evil spirits, or throwing light talismans to the evil spirits. Throwing it on the head of the evil spirit has a better sense of experience.

From this point of view, this thing is simply tailor-made for the people of North America to fight ghosts at home and a must-have product for exorcising evil spirits when traveling!

Not to mention, its price is so cheap that even elementary school students can afford it with their pocket money.

The only regret for the audience is that this type of salt shot gun is only designed for shooting flies after all. Poor range of ten centimeters to sixty centimeters.

But it doesn't matter, I believe that under the stimulation of the strong market demand that is about to explode, the arms company will definitely explode with extraordinary research and development capabilities, and launch a powerful long-range salt bullet gun suitable for fighting ghosts in the shortest time, and add hundreds of With a profit of [-] to [-] cents, it will be quickly promoted and listed.

In this way, as the "talking and laughing, the evil spirits disappear into ashes" over and over again in front of the camera, the audience also reduced the threat level of evil spirits from indescribable deadly killers to mad dogs, centipedes and The level of "poisonous and harmful organisms" such as poisonous spiders.

By the way, it has further driven the rise of pet-related stocks and the popularity of the cat breeding industry.

In the United States and even the whole world, the pure-color black cat, which was faintly rejected because of its relationship with the ancient legends of witches and witches, has now become the hottest among the hottest, the top among the top streamers, first of all, the first time When they are out of stock, even if someone spends thousands of dollars, it is hard to find a cat.

Then, cats of other colors became very popular one after another, and the cat litter, strips, canned and cat climbing frames in the supermarkets were all sold out quickly.

Anyone who has a cat at home is also harassed by relatives and friends who call or visit to "beg cats" or borrow cats for a while, so they have to find ways to make their cats "increase breeding efforts" , or simply thinking about how to "raise cats to raise prices and make huge profits".

In addition, the salt bomb guns hanging on the Internet were sold out immediately, and many craftsmen who couldn't wait had already started thinking about making their own guns.

Even in China on the other side of the ocean, the bosses and managers of the major salt companies watched the salt orders soared tenfold in an instant, and all of them laughed from ear to ear, as if they had returned to those few times in a trance. The booming era when the society snapped up iodized salt...

PS: The United States has recently announced that all people with sequelae of "Corona" are considered disabled.Whether there are sequelae is to allow patients to declare themselves.

Isn't this about [-] million disabled people?After all, disabled people can park wherever they want, get a monthly subsidy, and get a white card if they don't go to work.

Based on the shamelessness of American transgender athletes to participate in women's sports and win gold medals, the Paralympic medals may be won by the United States in the future, right?

In South Korea, it is even said that half of the infants and young children are infected. In other words, more than half of South Korea will be disabled in the future?

Chapter 122: Nuclear Explosion of America? !

"...According to our practical attempts just now, everyone can see that the reason why the soldiers of the U.S. Army and Marine Corps failed in the face of the evil spirits lurking in the ruins of Los Angeles was because they faced supernatural creatures for the first time. experience, and lack of suitable weapons.

Because any weapon commonly used by the army is not used to target disembodied evil spirits, and the result is that the soldiers feel more and more afraid.

After all, what is more terrifying in this world than an unkillable enemy?

But in fact, although the evil spirits are not afraid of ordinary bullets-because hitting them with ordinary bullets is almost equivalent to hitting the air, the evil spirits are afraid of lightning and explosions.Can also be damaged by salt and salt bombs.For a prepared gunner, the evil spirit is just a special target.

In addition, evil spirits are also afraid of cats - cute little animals like cats, who are born with the ability to see and expel evil spirits.

Of course, how to mobilize the enthusiasm of the cats to catch ghosts depends on the cat-training skills of the shit-shoveling officers..."

In front of CNN's camera lens, the little witch Megumi Akiyama, who has been "killed by the evil spirit" for N consecutive times and downgraded to the level of a pest, smiled and talked so eloquently to the audience, and at the same time stretched out her hand to scratch the black cat goddess Buster's face The chin, and then the obese black cat rolled its eyes.

Meanwhile, the attentive audience behind the screen has already imagined a "modern witcher" attire in their minds.

——Wearing a durable denim jacket and boots, anti-flash goggles on his forehead, a salt bomb gun for exorcising evil, a flare gun and a powerful pistol for killing people, and a row of firecrackers, Flash bombs and fireworks tubes, and a hiking bag filled with salt bags and spare firecrackers behind.

There are always one or two sleek black cats at his feet, and the small bag on the cat's back is stuffed with catnip and small dried fish.

Before going out to exorcise spirits every time, I have to go to a Japanese shrine to pray for blessings, and spend money to buy talismans and painted horses made by witches...

Uh, such a picture is not too inconsistent, but it still feels like a mix-and-match—what the hell is an American cowboy with a Japanese witch?

It's not the opera "Madame Butterfly"!And that is also an American sailor with a Japanese geisha!

("Madame Butterfly" can roughly be compared to the nineteenth-century version of "Miss Saigon". Some people say that the latter is an imitation of the former.)

Next, CNN hostess Vivienne laughed dryly and jumped to the next topic:

"...Ahaha, after the simple and easy-to-understand exorcism test just now, I also feel that the evil spirits don't seem to be very difficult to deal with.

However, these means of removing spirits require a certain amount of time to prepare and train, and the required equipment also takes some time to prepare.

But the evil spirit disaster situation in Los Angeles has deteriorated to the point of urgency, and I'm afraid we can't wait for us to slowly prepare. "

The hostess Vivienne frowned delicately and put on a worried expression, "... I wonder if Ms. Witch has any quick solutions, first solve the current supernatural crisis in Los Angeles, and give the government and the people a buffer to adjust and prepare What time?"

"...Uh huh, I talked about this issue yesterday when I was discussing with the governor to deal with the evil spirit crisis in Los Angeles."

Megumi Akiyama shook his head and said, "...I told Governor Newsom at the time that if California could use only the army and the police to directly wipe out the evil spirits entrenched in urban areas without causing too much impact on social order and daily routines, Then it is naturally the cheapest solution.

And the 40th Infantry Division and the Marine Corps, which made a series of emergency preparations yesterday, do not seem to be completely incapable of fighting a war against spirits in Los Angeles... But judging from today's situation, traditional state violence institutions , I haven't adapted to the battle of supernatural power yet!

But the situation in Los Angeles cannot be left alone, otherwise, if the City of Angels becomes the City of Evil Ghosts, it would be a real joke from hell.

Therefore, I told the governor last night that if the army can't stand it, then we can only use more drastic measures.

For this, I have two solutions.The first of these, the simpler solution, was to purify the whole of Los Angeles with salt..."

"...salt the whole of Los Angeles? Like the Roman legions salting the city of Carthage after it was conquered?"

Vivienne said with a smile, and was very proud of her knowledge of ancient history, so she could understand this stalk, "...but the entire downtown area of ​​Los Angeles is really too vast. Even if we can raise tens of thousands of tons of salt, we only need to I'm afraid it's not enough to spread it once? Besides, it's too late in time."

She questioned it like this, and Akiyama Hui nodded in approval.

"...That's right, if you want to use salt to purify a super metropolis like Los Angeles, the required refined salt is obviously an astronomical figure, and considering the problem of transportation capacity, it is impossible to achieve it in a short period of time. But very fortunately , Los Angeles is a port city, right by the sea.”

Megumi Akiyama pointed to the direction of the coast, "...and there is plenty of salt in the sea! If you want to purify Los Angeles, you have to rely on the sea!"

"...But, how do you use the salt in the sea to purify Los Angeles?" Vivienne was a little puzzled, "...Magic?"

"...Why use magic for such a simple and crude thing that can be easily achieved only by relying on science?"

Akiyama Hui asked back with a strange face, "...I'm talking about ordering the army to create an artificial tsunami and let the sea flood Los Angeles!"

"...artificial tsunami?" Vivienne was stunned, "...there are artificial tsunami?"

"...Of course there is! You, the United States and the Soviet Union, both had such secret plans during the Cold War."

Megumi Akiyama curled his lips, "... Specifically, as long as a hydrogen bomb with a large enough equivalent is dropped off the coast of Los Angeles, an artificial tsunami can be created, causing hundreds of millions of tons of seawater to rush to the coast and flood the entire city of Los Angeles. area, without leaving any hiding corners for the evil spirits.

After the sea water recedes and dries up, Los Angeles is equivalent to being purified by sea salt, and all evil spirits are naturally swept away...

Ah, by the way, the fires in the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach were also extinguished. "

In this regard, Vivienne didn't know what to say.

— Not to mention whether the crazy idea of ​​using a hydrogen bomb to create an artificial tsunami is feasible, what kind of disaster will it bring if just flooding the entire Los Angeles with sea water?Not to mention other things, the city has become a saline-alkali land, and the pipelines and cables buried underground have been eroded by sea water. How much loss is this?

Vivienne took a deep breath, and tentatively raised the above question, but Akiyama Hui's answer was to spread his hands: "...This is the necessary price. The situation in Los Angeles has deteriorated to this point. If you want to To solve problems quickly, trade-offs and sacrifices must be made..."

Chapter 123 Miss Miko will never take the blame

Next, Chen Qiuhan, who had been sitting in the corner and listening, suddenly had a flash of inspiration in his mind, and found another extremely bad thing from Akiyama Kekouhu's "artificial tsunami removal technique". Blind spot, I couldn't help but turn pale with shock for a moment.

So, he couldn't hold back anymore, he stood up immediately, walked up to Qiu Shanhui, and interrupted to ask questions.

"...Wait, artificial tsunami created by hydrogen bomb explosion? In this way, isn't it all nuclear waste water that is pushed ashore by the mushroom cloud?

Dear Huihui, according to your idea, Los Angeles is not going to be flooded by ordinary sea water, but by nuclear wastewater!

Is it necessary to turn Los Angeles into a city of radiation just to get rid of evil spirits?If so, what's the point of removing spirits? "

--what?Not only to create a tsunami in order to get rid of the spirit?Followed by nuclear pollution?

The CNN hostess Vivienne, who was originally quite calm, suddenly couldn't maintain her expression anymore, and her entire pretty face showed a look of horror.

"...I've already said it." Akiyama Hui still smiled calmly, "...this is a necessary price."

Looking around the room and looking at the people with fierce expressions, she couldn't help smiling, and continued to add, "...I am not a peerless wise man who can make every move and see ten steps. So you can only concentrate on solving one problem at a time, and then think about others.

Since you want me to come up with a quick solution to the evil spirit disaster in Los Angeles, then I have indeed come up with a solution now.

As for the ensuing tsunami and nuclear pollution, that is the next problem that needs to be solved. Before solving the evil spirit, there is no need to worry too much for the time being.

Hey, you can't be too high-spirited in being a person and doing things. If you just stare at the sky when you walk, you will trip over the small stones under your feet! "

Akiyama Hui said so, and smiled playfully, but no one present could agree with her point of view.

Because you can only solve one problem at a time?So you're going to go nuke in Los Angeles to get rid of spirits?

Come on, where are you solving one problem at a time?

You are obviously poking out a bigger problem to cover up the previous problem!

Moreover, how cruel the countermeasures you took!How vicious!How cruel!How anti-human!

Oh, God!In order to expel the evil spirits entrenched in Los Angeles, you actually want to detonate a hydrogen bomb and create an artificial tsunami to flood the city?

And such a big fight is just to spread a layer of sea salt to purify the evil spirits in the whole Los Angeles?

Hey, how did your brain circuit grow?Are you a kid who digs reservoirs and puts out fires with nuclear bombs?

Uh, wait, I remembered, you little girl looks delicate, but you are actually a Japanese dwarf who likes suicide charges and is good at seppuku!

Well, it's fine then.

The Japanese dwarf who engaged in kamikaze special attack and jade broken battle back then was indeed better than the seemingly rough Maozi in terms of madness.

I remember that you all shouted the suicide slogan of "one hundred million pieces of jade" in World War II.

Now that Los Angeles has a "1000 million pieces of jade", in her opinion, it is probably not painful or itchy, right?

It really deserves to be the Yamato nation, no, the big nuclear nation, always thinking about playing nuclear explosions...

The staff at the CNN headquarters are all so secretly defaming, and the barrage and comment areas on the live video have ushered in another round of explosions!

"Dropping a hydrogen bomb to create a tsunami to flood the city? It's terrifying! Was there really such a terrifying battle plan during the Cold War?"

"Well, I checked, and there are indeed, but they are used in the Atlantic Ocean to create a 20-30-meter-high tsunami to submerge New York!"

"The cold war is terrible!"

"Hey, man-made tsunami and salt! This little girl's imagination is really rich! But if you mess around like this, although the evil spirits may be purified, the plains and groundwater around Los Angeles will also be salinized." , In this way, Los Angeles becomes Dubai in the desert..."