Live broadcast: Taoist priest, stop pretending, you are cultivating immortals

After thinking about it in his heart, he came up with a great plan: If the mountain cannot pass, then I will pass; if the matter cannot be solved, then find someone who can solve the problem.

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Chapter 345 Sentenced to 500 years for defecating in public

"Jiang Daochang, you must help me solve this matter, please!" That day Lu made a very wise decision.

Jiang Yun was stunned for a while, looking at this sturdy man with thick eyebrows, big eyes, and a righteous face on the grassland, he suddenly felt the truth that people should not be judged by appearances.

How did this hot potato get into the hands of the poor? This wild animal is really hard to deal with.

People from the animal protection bureau generally don't bother to deal with it when they know that the animals under state protection are not in danger and will not affect anything.

Otherwise, Hou Er would not be able to bounce back and forth between Tianyuan Taoist Temple and Jiangjia Village for seven or eight years.

"That day Lu Jushi, Pindao taught you a method, it may be useful."

"This prairie eagle eats a lot. It needs to eat ten catties of meat every day. Then you can gradually replace its meat with vegetarian dishes. If it can't bear it, it will fly away naturally." Jiang Yun said.

Although the tactic of skipping food is a bit of a loss, the effect is really obvious.

When everyone thought that Lu would be happy that day, who knew that this strong man blushed instantly.

"Jiang Daochang, you are purely killing me. On our grassland, vegetables are much more expensive than meat."

"Don't talk about ten catties of vegetables a day, even one catty a day I can't get out!"

On the grasslands, celery is more expensive than meat, this is definitely not a rumor.

Everyone in the live broadcast room immediately thought of a good way to make money.

"I have vegetables at home, can I replace them with meat?"

"Prairie eagle: You are not damaged, can you make people have a good meal?"

"Fellow Taoists, don't even think about going to the grassland to sell vegetables. There is only one family within a hundred miles. If you order a cup of milk tea for 15 yuan, the delivery fee will be more than 200 yuan."

Jiang Yun frowned, and finally gritted his teeth and said: "That day Lu Jushi, then you can only imitate the poor and become an outlaw madman."

"What about raising eagles? It's obviously because of your outstanding people in the winter camp, that's why this prairie eagle is attracted to come to check in every day."

"Also, since you're on the show, don't think too much and protect this prairie eagle well. If something happens to it, you won't be able to escape."

"Back when Monkey Er went missing in the mountain for a day, my master was invited in to drink tea for a day, and finally found the monkey by relying on Feng Shui to locate it."

Teacher Luo stared and asked, "Daoist Jiang, it's not good for you to teach like this?"

"Is it against the law?"

"Well, as long as the animals don't have accidents, then there is no crime."

"That's it."

Lu was greatly inspired that day, so he went back to the sheep pen excitedly to look for the Sagittarius sheep, which is a pig.

In the sheepfold, there was a mess.

Jiang Yun didn't let the director connect with the next prisoner. After promoting a wave of post office coffee, he said solemnly: "Ladies and gentlemen, please don't be poor, you can't grasp these things."

"Some small things seem small, but most definitely are big. Some things seem to be serious crimes, but they are actually not illegal."

"There is a line between the state-protected animals staying at home and the detention of state-protected animals. If you don't handle them properly, you can send people in."

The water friends in the live broadcast room are all sensible people. After all, watching the live broadcast of the law popularization, they understand more or less the law.

"Daoist, stop talking, we can't play your coquettish operation."

"Hey, is there a case that looks small but is actually a serious crime?"

"If the panda stays at my house, can I raise a panda?"

"Well, the panda is a bear after all, cellmate, you are really happy!"

Teacher Luo opened his mouth, enlivened the atmosphere, and said, "Jiang Daochang is right. In daily life, there are indeed some small things that need everyone to pay attention to."

"I can tell you a few cases, and you can recall whether you have done it before."

"Once upon a time there was Zhang San, who was sentenced to ten years in prison after digging out the bird's nest."

"Once upon a time there was a Li Si who caught twenty sparrows in a basket and was sentenced to three years in prison."

"Once upon a time there was a Wang Wu who filled nine frogs in his field and ate them with wine at night. He was sentenced to four years in prison."

……

Teacher Luo was talking, and many people who were watching the live broadcast were drenched in cold sweat.

"Hey, I have a friend who took out a bird's nest when I was young [dog head saves life]"

"Don't say I have a friend, it should be said that you have a cellmate."

"I reported my brother by real name. When he was young, he caught a frog and played with it to death."

"Brother, it was the two of us who tadpole together and caught a frog. Why did you blame me for all the crimes?"

"Boiling beans burns Osmunda, and the beans weep in the cauldron. No, no. A frog will be warned at most, and only if there are too many frogs will he be sentenced."

"If this is true, then everyone will really become inmates. I have dug out bird nests, caught sparrows, and caught frogs. I am guilty and I repent."

Some of the barrage in the live broadcast room on all platforms used a friend of mine to conduct tentative inquiries.

Some were very frank and took the initiative to confess their crimes.

There is also a part, the mouth is really hard, and they will not admit it even if they are beaten to death.

Jiang Yun also carried out tactical intimidation to invigorate the atmosphere, saying: "Everyone, laymen, it's no small matter, everyone must abide by the law."

"There is a buddy in our circle who is very capable, three points better than my master."

"At that time, he was young and vigorous, and he was very aggressive. He caused trouble everywhere. In the end, he was punished for several crimes and sentenced to 500 years in prison. It's miserable."

As soon as this remark came out, the water friends were all blown up.

"Master Daoist, we are a law popularization program, please be serious."

"Sentenced to 500 years, if it is really that heavy, it should be sentenced to be shot!"

"Three points more powerful than Chisong Daochang, he should be a ruthless person. Whoever it is, we may all know him."

"Huaxia, it is impossible to be sentenced to 500 years here. It is indeed possible for Yingjiang's family. Could it be the Taoist priest over there? What did he do?"

A strange smile appeared on the corner of Jiang Yun's mouth. He nodded and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is absolutely true!"

"That buddy defecated everywhere, vandalized public property, beat others, and the most serious thing was that he even stole a peach from a peach orchard."

"That kind of peach is a rare variety, rare, so he was punished for several crimes, and he was suppressed for 500 years."

Teacher Luo: ...

The staff in the live broadcast room: ...

Water friends in the live broadcast room of each platform: ...

This... Taoist priest, this cold joke you told is really not funny at all.

What you are talking about is Monkey King, and you still meander and talk so much.

"Monkey King: Slander, this is blatant slander, how could my old grandson do such a thing?"

"Master Dao, you are real leather, you are definitely not artificial leather."

"He defecated everywhere. Being suppressed for 500 years is indeed a bit too much. I seriously suspect that the Buddha secretly retaliated!"

"Shocked, a buddy was sentenced to 500 years for defecating everywhere. Is this a distortion of human nature, or a loss of morality?"

"[Sixteen Characters of Yin and Yang]: Daoist Jiang, is Daoist Chisong really weaker than the Great Sage Equaling Heaven by three points?"

"The circle of monks is really scary [Petrochemical]"

"One thing to say, Monkey King was really a tiger back then."

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Chapter 346 Capture the thief first and capture the king first (seeking a monthly ticket)

The newly connected water friend is a gentle brother wearing glasses. He is sitting at home at the moment, and there is a lot of noise on his side.

Not only was there a violent knock on the door, but there was also a fierce dog barking.

"Jiang Daochang, my female neighbor is a single young lady. She just made dumplings at home and made a loud noise. I asked her to keep her voice down, and she came to me with a dog."

"The golden retriever raised by her family is almost half the height of a person. It's very strong. I'm very scared. She won't let the dog bite me, right?" the little brother wearing glasses said a little panicked.

The 1.8-meter tall man is actually afraid of dogs, and the audience in the live broadcast room is instantly speechless.

"Brother, don't be afraid, you have met a nobleman, as long as you are bitten, you will have the down payment for buying a house."

"Other dogs are fine, why are you afraid of the golden retriever?"

"It's normal to be afraid of dogs. I guess I was bitten by a dog when I was young. I'm also afraid of dogs."

"Such an irritable girl, are you sure what she chops are dumpling stuffing, not human meat stuffing?"

"[Petrochemical] Could it be the real version of the pork buns from the Eight Immortals Restaurant!"

"It's an old Hong Kong movie, very violent."

"Ah... Brother, what kind of movie, do you have the resources, I want to see it."

The water friends in the live broadcast room suddenly changed their focus.

This case is easy to solve, not that complicated.

Jiang Yun smiled and said, "This layman, this kind of neighborhood dispute, under normal circumstances, there is no need to call the police."

"You overcome your fear, open the door and talk to your neighbors, everyone takes a step back, and the matter is easy to resolve."

"Master Dao, don't make it so easy. I'm afraid of dogs. What if that woman lets the dog bite me?" The brother wearing glasses immediately rejected the suggestion.

He has a clear understanding of his fighting power, and unless he is fighting to the death, he will never be timid when facing that golden retriever.

If the dog is gone and only the female neighbor is left, that's okay.

Jiang Yun listened, and his eyes lit up: "This layman, since you are not afraid of people, then it will be easy."

"Pindao has a suggestion for you. It is absolutely self-defense. You go directly to open the door. If the dog bites you, then you go bite its mistress."

"what?"

"Ah, what, this trick is to capture the thief first and capture the king!" Jiang Yun said it as a matter of course.

Except for Teacher Luo, everyone who was watching the live broadcast looked dazed and shocked.

"Master Dao, your suggestion is against the law, right?"

"Hearing what the Taoist priest said, it's better than ten years in prison. Let's ask Mr. Luo."

"Responsible, I really will do this."

"It's really outrageous, you can bite and lick it but [dog head saves your life]"

"As expected of the Taoist priest, I laughed to death."

"Mr. Luo, is the Taoist priest's proposal true or not? Is it against the law?"

Teacher Luo's face was full of black lines. He looked at Jiang Yun and suddenly sighed from the bottom of his heart: "Daoist Jiang, it's fortunate that you became a monk in Tianyuan Taoist Temple."

"If you do something else, even if it's me, it's not easy to be sentenced!"

"Jiang Daochang is right. It is indeed self-defense. A dog does not understand the law. It is essentially the same as a knife."

"Letting a dog bite someone is similar to stabbing someone with a knife. If Zhang San stabbed someone with a knife, how could the victim fight with the knife? He must hit the person first!"

This explanation is easy to understand, and the water friends in the live broadcast room suddenly realized it.

"The Taoist priest is right, it is true that the king is captured first before the thief is captured!"

"Jiang Daochang: Director, how do you play an outlaw lunatic well?"

"The director looked Daoist Jiang up and down: Daoist, you just need to restrain yourself."

"Long knowledge, really long knowledge."

"Brilliant!"