they are bad women

Chapter 99 Jealousy

"What did you say?" Shen Mochen didn't react.

"You don't have to come to the birthday party next month, he just wants to laugh at you." Ekaterina knelt down and put the other party's mobile phone on his head.

Shen Mochen put the phone away: "What about the next month..."

Ekaterina sat on the side of the bed and said calmly, "It's okay if you don't think about it, just take it as an apology to you, and that wish is void."

She was not in a high mood, it could even be said to be depressed, Shen Mochen couldn't quite understand what was going on in her heart.He kind of wanted to know, but felt that he was not qualified.

Since you have no intention of giving everything for me, what's the use of asking so much?

Ekaterina's words echoed in her heart again.

What she needs is someone who can love her, someone who has the courage to love her.I neither love her nor have the qualifications to love her, so there is really no need to try to figure out her thoughts.

Even that genius named Su Mo sometimes couldn't understand girls' minds, let alone him, a mortal.

Shen Mochen bowed his head and tied his hair up, silently playing with his phone.

"Nadeko said he has already left, let's go down."

After a while, Ekaterina said with a mobile phone.

"oh oh……"

Shen Mochen instinctively wanted to let his hair down, but he stretched his hands to his head, but he still couldn't untie it in the end.

The two went downstairs, and the living room was cleaned up, but the box of condoms was stuffed somewhere.

"Do you want to go back?" Ekaterina curled up on the sofa and turned on the TV.

"Well, it's getting late." Shen Mochen looked at the time, it was almost eight o'clock.

"That's right, there are still people waiting for you to go back to eat." Ekaterina smiled, "You go, I'll let Nadeko see you off."

"No, I'll take a taxi back by myself."

Shen Mochen said, it was so late, and Nadeshiko probably hadn't eaten yet, so there was no need for someone to make a special trip back and forth.

"Well, then I'll ask Nadeko to take you out."

As Ekaterina spoke, Nadeko walked over quietly.

"Then I'll go first..."

Shen Mochen nodded and patted his head with a silly smile.

"Feel sorry."

Just as she walked to the door, she suddenly heard Yekaterina's soft voice.

Shen Mochen turned his head to look back, only to see that she smiled and looked up at him, "I seem to be a little willful."

"It's ok……"

Shen Mochen said.How can I still bite you.

……

"You should stay and have dinner before leaving. The master asked me to make a meal for three people." Nadeko sent Shen Mochen to the gate of the community.

"That's right, I don't know, I must try your handicraft next time I have time!" Shen Mochen showed a row of teeth and smiled sincerely.

"When I checked your background, I thought you were a more interesting person, but unfortunately you are not."

"I'm sorry for causing you to have expectations beyond my ability."

"The master thought so at the beginning, that's why he is interested in you."

"...Sorry again, I'm such a boring person!"

Nadeko grinned: "Judging from your past experience, you are not a timid person. Is this because of Yin Caiyu now? After Yin Huailian died, you were more careful than before, because you were worried that something might happen to Yin Caiyu ?”

Shen Mochen frowned and didn't speak.

Nadeko immediately showed a trace of inexplicable sarcasm, and whispered: "If Yin Caiyu dies one day, I'm curious what you will become."

Shen Mochen's expression froze, and there was a chill in his eyes: "What do you want to do?"

"Don't be nervous, I won't attack her, besides, I can't beat her now." Nadeko shrugged, "Just curious."

Shen Mochen's muscles gradually relaxed: "Thank you for sending me here, I'll go back first."

"Goodbye." Nadeko said.

Shen Mochen strode away, and Nadeko watched his shadow gradually grow longer and fade under the street lamp behind him.

……

"Hey!"

Shen Mochen stood at the door of Caiyunjian's house and couldn't help sighing again.

The incident last night was embarrassing enough, but something even more embarrassing happened in the afternoon.

Shen Mochen felt like a scumbag, he just touched Cai Yunjian today, and today he touched Ekaterina again, so now he is a little ashamed to face her.

"How should I explain it when I go in..." Shen Mochen was scratching his head, thinking of an explanation.

In fact, on the way back, he had already rehearsed many situations in his head.But when you really arrive at someone's door, you will inevitably feel a kind of nervousness of "being closer to the hometown and being more timid".

Well, calm down, isn't it normal for a young couple to do that kind of thing before!What's wrong with buying a condom? If you don't have a condom, you are a scumbag if you get someone pregnant!

Shen Mochen comforted himself for the last time, summoned up his courage, and knocked on the door.

"Which... Xiao Chen."

Cai Yunjian opened the door and asked, seeing that it was Shen Mochen, the expression in his eyes was both surprise and joy, in short it was very complicated.

"Sister Cai..." Shen Mochen opened the door with a dry smile.

"Did you forget to bring your keys today?" Cai Yunjian welcomed Shen Mochen in with his usual nonchalant tone, but he didn't look at him.

"Hmm..." Shen Mochen nodded weakly.

He stringed all the keys together, so it was impossible for him not to take them with him.The reason why he knocked on the door was because he had a guilty conscience and was not as confident as before.

"Have you eaten yet?" Cai Yunjian asked.

"I haven't eaten yet." Shen Mochen said.

"Then let me warm up the dishes for you, they're all cold." Cai Yunjian said as he took out a plate of complete and delicate dishes from the refrigerator, "I see it's so late, I thought you weren't coming back."

"First Clan"

"I said it back!" Shen Mochen carefully apologized.

Cai Yuncui bit her lip lightly, and turned on the gas stove.

"Let me help you." Shen Mochen said.

"No need, just sit down, it will be fine in a while." Cai Yunjian rejected Shen Mochen's kindness as usual.

Shen Mochen didn't dare to sit down, Cai Yun refused to let him help, so he stood beside him.

"Why don't you let your hair down?" Cai Yunjian glanced at him, then lowered his head and warmed up the dishes by himself.

She should have simply asked the question, but I don't know if it was a psychological effect, Shen Mochen always felt that Caiyun's crisp voice was not as cheerful as usual, and even a little angry.

This made him think of Yin Huailian, she would show such a similar look when she was unhappy.She worked on her own, and didn't ignore him, but it just made people feel that she was losing her temper.When asked if she was angry, she replied no.

When Yin Huailian is unhappy, it will be more obvious, her mouth is so pouted that a soy sauce bottle can hang on it.Caiyunjian will not, he is not happy in his heart, and he will not deliberately show it on his face.

Shen Mochen touched his face. Based on his past feelings, he knew that his face was quite lethal to girls... But when I met him in the supermarket today, Cai Yunjian had already treated him before he knew his identity. I have shown contempt, and I think I can't be as good as usual.

"Sister Cai, I didn't mean to hide it from you..."

trivial life

I was dragged to a blind date again today.

In fact, I have always felt that a blind date is a very shameful thing, not only because of social fear, but more importantly, it is a symbol of shame in my eyes.

I feel like a defective product that failed to compete in the free love market, especially when I have zero love experience, it seems to be declaring that I have no value and no advantage in the marriage market.

I sat awkwardly in the booth of the restaurant, listening to the laughter of both mothers, I was like a pig being dragged to the scale, and people judged me.And I'm really not a good big fat pig, so every minute and every second is hard to bear.

So I fantasized about the future scenery of the heroine of the novel all the time, as if the scenery of the heroine is my scenery, I was immersed in this kind of fantasy, in order to escape this unbelievable reality, and pass the long time.

Some people say that the essence of a blind date is to let the boy who can't handle the girl the least be able to handle the girl who is the most difficult to handle.I've always felt that this sentence is biased, but I'm definitely the worst type of girl to deal with.

I am a rather late bloomer, and I didn't know anything about men and women until I took biology class in the second year of junior high school.I am also a twisted person, longing for girls while daring not to approach them.

The reason may be traced back to the second grade of elementary school.I have loved reading books since I was a child, or I like to read everything with words.But because my family doesn't pay much attention to these things, and the conditions are not rich, I seldom read books.So later I bought books like crazy after I got the manuscript fee, which may also have some factors of retaliatory consumption.

Of course, whether this speculation is true is also very suspicious, because after the middle and upper grades of elementary school, a bookstore opened near the school to provide book rental services, and I went to the bookstore to rent books all day long.I remember that the price seems to be [-] cents a day, and it is cheaper to recharge the gold membership card.

The above are just meaningless digressions. I didn't have many books to read when I was in the second grade.At that time, the school had certain extra-curricular magazines. Some students ordered them, but they didn’t take them, so they left them in the corner of the lecture.

At that time, what was often left was a magazine called "Parents", because it was mainly written for parents, and the content was mainly about education, so the students were not interested.Other unclaimed extracurricular magazines have long been picked up, and only "Parents" can often be placed on the podium at the end of the semester.

But that was the age when I was hungry for words, even textbooks were read over and over again, let alone extracurricular magazines.To be honest, most of the content of the magazine "Parents" is completely lost. It is only printed by HA City, and it is not particularly authoritative. I can occasionally see our school teachers in the author column.

But it still had an important impact on me, such as the patriarchal topic that is often mentioned in parent magazines, so I woke up early that this was wrong, and took care of my cousins.

I still remember a composition written by a girl on "Parents". She said that since she subscribed to this magazine, she read articles about patriarchy to her illiterate grandma, and then grandma treated her much better and treated her well. The younger brother gave her pocket money as well.

I was deeply touched when I read this composition when I was a child, maybe it was because I was happy for her, so I still remember it now.

But the one that had the greatest impact on me was the topic about puppy love. I can’t remember any of the articles, but I only remember two words that appeared before: “Men and women are different” and “Men and women have different seats at seven years old”.

If there is no deviation in my memory, the original author seems to want to criticize this feudal thinking, and advise parents not to regard the normal communication between boys and girls as a scourge.But for a second-grade student, these two half-literate words are too lofty, so I just remembered this.

And unfortunately, the "Parents" magazine often publishes some articles. The heroines are all "senior" students in the fifth and sixth grades, and then they are seduced by bad boys, taste the forbidden fruit, then become pregnant, and then abandoned or even beat and scold.

I have to say that these articles are very effective. Although I don't understand what "tasting the forbidden fruit" is all about, every time I read it, my blood pressure soars. .

A seven or eight-year-old elementary school student is absolutely unlikely to have any critical thinking ability. I only know that it is not a good thing for boys and girls to have sex. It will hurt girls. Boys who do this are bad guys.

So the original article criticizing feudal ideas such as "men and women are different" and "men and women have different seats at seven years old" seems reasonable to me, very reasonable.This has even become part of the construction of my personality, like a kind of original code written into the bottom layer, a kind of solid ideological stencil.

Although I rarely take the initiative to think of it, it reminds me anytime and anywhere in my daily life that men and women are different.I deliberately feel that boys should keep a distance from girls.

Even if I realized this problem later, it would be difficult to change my nature.

When I was young, I liked to read fairy tales, the prince rescued the beauty, and the brave adventurer married the princess. These are also my personality.So in my world view, falling in love, especially the puppy love of students, is shameful and shouldn't be. You should get married after you grow up.

As for how old a child is, and how to get married without falling in love when he grows up, it is not something a child would consider.

However, if I can barely justify myself at this time, then as I grow older and gradually become interested in the opposite sex, I begin to distort.

When I was a little older, around the fourth and fifth grades, my eyes began to stay more and more on the girls, and I even peeked at the breasts that had begun to develop, and the thighs under the school uniform with short skirts.

This is where the contradiction lies. The notion that men and women are different has been stamped in my mind. I despise myself, but I can't control it. Perhaps the more suppressed, the more distorted it becomes.I told myself it was wrong to stop, but I couldn't help myself.

I was very scared during that time, because my father was a hooligan at that time, who ate, drank, gambled, and had a very bad reputation in his hometown. I was afraid that I would be like him in the future, because "like father, like son".

What I am more afraid of is not becoming a hooligan, but the saying at that time that "ten years old is old", stealing needles when I am young, and stealing gold when I grow up, I think I am so horny now, will I not be able to control myself when I grow up? Under "rape" and then shot by the police?

I was so sure for a while that I was going to get worse, so uneasy that I even saw a future where I was shot by the police.

Also because of this, this distorted mentality of being interested in the opposite sex but not daring to approach it ran through my entire adolescence.

Speaking of this, I couldn't help but think of Zheng Yuanjie's "Phantom", which was my favorite work in childhood.I watched Pipiru traveling the world with beautiful girls, punishing evil and promoting good in the car, and I thought that would be really cool.

I have watched "Phantom" many times, imagining that I also have such a powerful Phantom, but I dare not confide in the girl at the same table who is as beautiful as the heroine.

Once I couldn't help writing in the diary with a combination lock that I must marry her in the future, but immediately felt that I had done something bad and risked the world's dissatisfaction, so I hurriedly closed the diary and locked it, and then felt guilty. Look around.

At that time, she and I were making up lessons at the same teacher's house, and we sat together for the first time that day.Although we are at the same table at school during the day, after all, they are two tables with a distance between them.The make-up teacher's house is a big round table, and we sit close together when we sit next to each other.

I remember my heart beating so fast, like when I lied to my parents that I failed the exam, the heart wanted to fly out of my throat.But the latter is afraid to fly, the former is happy to fly.

The diary is also written under this impulse. The girl is by my side. I write a diary like a thief. I secretly write down that I am very happy to sit with yjx today. I hope we will get married in the future. I will let her Be my wife, but I forgot how to write the word "wife" and changed it to "wife".

But even so, after I calmed down, I still felt that I was too shameless to write such "dirty" content.What do you want, do you like yjx?Do you want to fall in love early?

Yes, at that time I had been deceiving myself, not only not admitting it to others, but also not admitting it to myself.I don't like yjx, I don't have puppy love, I've always told myself that.