The day I shared a flat with my female boss

One is a man like a brother who grew up when he was young, and the other is a man like a brother who suddenly burst out of passion when he met by chance. These two men represent the two needs of this woman, one is psychological needs, the other is physiological needs

Gentleman Yang: "I understand when you say that. Just like the novel Shanghai Baby, the heroine also falls in love with two men at the same time. One is her boyfriend, who is handsome in appearance but incompetent in personality. One is a German boyfriend who is strong and can bring physiological satisfaction to the woman. The two men also reflect the heroine's two needs, one is psychological needs, the other is physiological needs

"Yangyang, I know what you mean. But a man falling in love with two women at the same time may also be based on these two needs, but not necessarily. Sex is the basis for a man to fall in love with a woman. No matter how many women a man falls in love with, it is because of sex. There is a big difference in the psychological basis between a man falling in love with two women and a woman falling in love with two men at the same time. "

Junzi Yangyang: "the psychological basis for a man to fall in love with two women at the same time can be found from a famous saying of aunt ailing? "Maybe every man would like to have two such women, at least two. If you marry a red rose, over time, the red one will change into the mosquito blood on the wall, and the white one will still be the bright moon in front of the bed. If you marry a white rose, the white one will be a rice stick on your clothes, but the red one will be a cinnabar mole on your heart. "

Hong Xiu Tian Xiang: "he is really a talented man. What you are looking for is the psychological basis for a man to fall in love with two women at the same time. White rose doesn't have to be beautiful, but it must be absolutely gentle and kind. It can be used to calm men's restlessness, to sympathize with men's twists and turns, to be filial to men's parents, to be polite to men's relatives and friends, to educate children properly, and to manage the family's economy well. And red rose is a typical face like peach blossom, eyes with eyes, waist like willow, all kinds of women. Although you don't have to have the appearance of sinking fish and falling geese, and the appearance of closing flowers and being shy of flowers, it's absolutely beautiful. Otherwise, why does a man lose six spirits when he sees it, and then spend a lot of money to become a beautiful woman? "

Junzi Yangyang: "in fact, Li Bihua, a talented woman, has said the same thing, only her expression is different from Zhang Ailing. "Every man wants to have two women in his life: White Snake and green snake. At the same time, alternate, embellish his desolate fate. However, when he got the White Snake, she gradually became the white ashes beside the Zhumen, but the green snake was the tender leaves on the top of the tree. When he gets the green snake, she turns out to be the green mountain herb in the cupboard, while the White Snake lifts its head to see the sky floating and inviting thousands of new snowflakes. "

"The White Snake and the green snake are just like Zhang Ailing's white rose and red rose, just like Baochai and Daiyu in a dream of Red Mansions. A woman like white snake, white rose or Baochai has something constructive in her body, which can make her a close man. Like a white snake, he helps a man's career. Like a white rose, he teaches his husband and children. Like a Baochai, he exhorts a man to read the books of sages, make progress, and gain fame. A white snake like woman has a clear goal, strong action and no unnecessary mental struggle. They are arbors, supporting the men around them, supporting a home! "

Junzi Yangyang: "and other women, green snake, red rose, Daiyu, Anna Karenina, Madame Bovary, are women with destructive temperament. They are those silly women who are not aware of what they are going to do, but are deeply in love. Their life is a little inclined, the ground is sixpence, but they want to look up at the moon. Their eyes are a little squint, the road is in front of them, but where their eyes flow, they are full of flowers on the path, the wind and snow in the wasteland. There are love crazies in life. It's them. They are a tender flower in a man's heart, swaying and itching, pinching it off, but they can't bear it. "

Red sleeve adds fragrance: "the man and white snake stay together for life, in order to achieve himself; and long for a woman like green snake to embellish his desolate life. But when the two can not be both, the first thing a man pinches off is the flower swaying in the sunset. Although it is lovable, it is not indispensable in life!

Men and green snake entangled for a while, but with white snake together forever. One day when Chui is old, he looks back on his life as if he were reading a book, on which he and white snake are closely recorded: get married, have children, have a successful career But all of a sudden, at some point in life, this book appears blank. Page by page, all blank. These blank pages, make him inexplicable heartache!

These blank spaces are left for green snake. It turns out that the hopeless, ingratiating, lingering and enchanting love green snake brings to him has not appeared in his life books, but has already penetrated into his blood! "

Gentleman Yang: "well said. Aileen and Bihua are both talented women writers. They see love very thoroughly

"So what? These two talented women are not as fettered by love as everyone else in their lives

Junzi Yangyang: "love is like this. Even if you know all the profound truth about love in the world, you can't win the love you want. Love, sometimes like a fate. The truth seems to have come back. So, men fall in love with two women at the same time, and women fall in love with two men at the same time, because of the dual needs of physiology and psychology? ""I'm afraid that's the case," she said

I've been thinking about the same problem since I got off.

If today's conversation between Hong Xiu Tian Xiang and I holds true, who are Xi'er and Xi'er white roses and yellow roses? Who is the White Snake and who is the green snake? Who is Baochai and who is Daiyu?

Located in Binhai City, a well-known private counseling clinic.

In the information room, Lin Xi'er sits on the chair opposite the seemingly amiable counselor. The layout and lighting of the room are very comfortable. This kind of warm environment makes people have a desire to talk.

Lin Xi'er: "doctor, I have been repeating the same dream almost every night in the last three months. I dreamt that my ex boyfriend called me a bad woman. He told me that he didn't want to see me again. Then I saw him turn away with determination. "

Counselor: "maybe it's a nightmare for you, isn't it? You are haunted by this nightmare and can't get rid of it. This nightmare makes you physically and mentally tired. It not only makes you sleep poorly, but also makes you eat tasteless? In short, this nightmare has been haunting you, right? "

Lin Xi'er: "I think so. Doctor

Counselor: "can you tell me why you separated from your ex boyfriend?"

Lin Xi'er: "because of love. Because I love him, I'm leaving him. "

Counselor: "did you break up?"

Lin Xi'er: "yes. After I found out I was infertile, I started planning to leave him. Later, a suitable opportunity just appeared, and I decided to break up with him. I always thought I was right. But... "

Counselor: "but that's not the case, right? You find that you can't forget him at all, just as you can't get rid of that repeated nightmare. But you think the highest level of love is perfection, so your heart has been struggling between perfection and pain, isn't it? "

Lin Xi'er: "you are right."

Counselor: "does your ex like kids?"

Lin Xi'er: "I think so."

Counselor: "do you think your ex boyfriend would leave you if he knew you had infertility?"

Lin Xi'er: "No. He loves me very much. But because of this, I have no right to hinder his lifelong happiness. He is very good. He can find better girls to get married and have children. It's hard to get perfect happiness in a marriage without children. "

Counselor: "if your ex boyfriend leaves him because of you, he won't be happy all his life. If he thinks you can make him happier than a child. Will you reconsider your decision? "

Lin Xi'er: "it's impossible! I mean, he likes children so much. If I can't give him the most beautiful baby in the world, he will be tired of me one day! "

Counselor: "is that what your ex boyfriend said to you?"

Lin Xi'er: "No. That's my idea. "

Counselor: "have you ever tried to communicate with your ex boyfriend about this, or have you ever had the idea to communicate?"

Lin Xi'er: "No. I think telling him that I have infertility will put him in a dilemma. I said that even if he knew I was infertile, he would not take the initiative to leave me. But in his heart, he must want me to give him a beautiful baby. So I can't leave this cruel choice to him. "

Psychologist: "so, would you rather leave this cruel multiple choice question to yourself? So you take the initiative to leave him, you would rather destroy their own good image in his mind, you hope he can hate you, so he will be as you wish, completely forget you. Is that so? "

Lin Xi'er: "yes. But I think someone is more suitable for him than me. It's his ex girlfriend, and it's my sister, my sister. I snatched him from my sister. "

Counselor: "you used the word" snatch ". I can imagine that the competition between you two sisters must have been very fierce, right?"