The day I shared a flat with my female boss

She smiles, raises her eyebrows to me, and indicates to me that outside the box, a beautiful stewardess is really serving the passengers in the opposite box with a small car.

Lin Xi'er says with a smile, "I think of this mystery because I saw her. Is" red sleeve "for women? Who read? Is it a scholar? Isn't it true that a woman who accompanies a scholar to study at night is a waitress

I looked at her dubiously and said, "did you really think of it yourself?"

"What," she said, glancing at me, "do you think my brain is your brain? Are you stupid? Do you think people in the world are as stupid as you? That's true

I said, "I don't believe you can do this!"

"It's true. You can't believe it!" Then she put her hands together, looked at the sky at a 45 degree angle, and said, "by the way, by the way, what can I do to punish you? Let me think about it, let Miss Ben think about it "

I said:" wait a minute! "

She looked down at me and said, "why? Want to deny it

Denial? What a bad word! But am I that easy to deal with?

I looked at her and said with a sneer, "you're right, but you're not quite right! Why? Because there are two answers to this riddle, one is "waitress", and the other is "companion", so your answer is incomplete. Therefore, you didn't win and I didn't lose! "

"Hello! It's gu! " Lin Xi'er suddenly jumped up from the sofa and yelled at me, "don't you call this denial? What is integrity and what is incompleteness? Dare you say that "waitress" is not the answer to it. Since it is, how can it be called incompleteness? "

I held my arms, looked at her with a smile and said, "how can it be called integrity?"

I admit that I am denying it. I can even say that I am making trouble. But I just don't want to admit defeat to her. I'm not happy with her elated expression! My current state of mind is abusive, not masochistic!

"Gu! You turn back and you don't believe what you say! " She pointed to me and said fiercely, "you're sophistry and mischief. You're too bad, too abnormal, too..."

I looked at her with a smile and said, "well, why do you call it complete?"

I hold on to this sentence for the purpose of disrupting her thinking habits, suddenly acting in the opposite way, disrupting her normal thinking process, and making her fall into silence for a moment She blushed with anger, "gu! I tell you, you want to disturb my thinking, no way, I will prove that you are sophistry! I... "

After thinking for a moment, she stared at me angrily and then said, "this is the relationship between belonging and being, including and being included Let me make an analogy For example, if we want to go to Italy, there are at least two modes of transportation. We can go by plane or by ship. Can you say that it is not complete for us to go to Italy by plane? Can you say it's wrong to get to Italy by air? That's ridiculous

In the end, I had to make a compromise, because I was guilty, and she was able to clarify the truth with such a simple metaphor. As a matter of fact, I have no reason to defend myself!

I looked at her with a smile and said, "OK! I lost! What do you want? How to take a big risk? Do you want me to jump from the height of 40000 meters? "

Lin Xi'er sneered and said, "that's too cheap for you! You can go to the palace with your sword! "

"No?" I stare at her with big eyes, and my hands drop down quickly to protect my crotch. Then I smile at her and say, "change something else, change something else"

Lin Xi'er looks at me and smiles insidiously.

"OK, I'll give you another chance," she said, holding her arms in her arms and raising her eyebrows. "I want you to find a woman in this first class cabin, go over, kneel down on one knee, and confess to her"

"isn't it?" I opened my eyes wide at her and said, "then what do you want me to say?"

Lin Xi'er turned her black eyes, looked at me with a smile and said, "it's simple. You just have to show her your deep feelings, and then read out the famous monologue of Stephen Chow to Zhu Yin in the movie journey to the West!"

I cried out, "isn't it? This is too bloody

"No dog blood, how can we call it punishment?" She looked at me insidiously and laughed, "remember! It must be kneeling on one knee, and it must be affectionate. It can't be watered down. It can be watered down again! "

I gritted my teeth to stare at her, said: "really cruel you!"

She looked at me with a sneer and said, "that's right! I've never heard of the most vicious woman

"Once there was a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it. I didn't regret it until I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. Cut your sword on my throat! No more hesitation!

If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to that girl: I love you. If you have to add a deadline to this love, I hope it will be 10000 years! "When this classic line with a sense of nonsense, in my mind across the moment, my nose a burst of acid, the chest over the river! yes! I miss Xi'er, I miss her!

"Why? Hurry up Lin Xi'er frowned at me and yelled, "the verdict has been made, and it will be carried out immediately! Hello! What nose do you always touch? "

But! my god! Let me read this line aloud to a strange woman in the first class cabin. How can I feel at the height of 40000 meters? Ah, ah!

Fortunately, at this time, the beautiful stewardess pushed the dining car to deliver the meal, and I quickly yelled that I was hungry. Lin Xi'er stares at me and says you want to cheat me? I said I was really hungry. She said that's OK, let you have enough to eat first, and have the strength to express later!

Anyway, eating first and delaying time are my tactics now. Maybe at the end of the day, Lin Xi'er's patience will be lost. She will wave her hand to me impatiently and say, forget it, Miss Ben is tired. Go back to the box and have a beauty sleep!

In that case, didn't I get away with it? okay! That's it! Delay!

For lunch, we'll have the big shellfish and the big shellfish.

I want a French meal. Why? Because I'm going to spend three hours to enjoy this French meal. I smile insidiously in my heart. Play with me. I'll drag you to death!

Lin Xi'er dined in my independent space, perhaps because she felt so busy, or maybe she was supervising me, for fear that I would run away in order to avoid the punishment of big risk.

Can I escape? This is at an altitude of 40000 meters! Unless I parachute down. She likes to supervise, just supervise! I have to put on my white napkin and enjoy my French meal!

Next, I really spent nearly two hours to enjoy my French dinner at an altitude of 40000 meters. Why can I know the time accurately? Because Lin Xi'er is clocking for me for free

the five course dishes from the head plate to the desserts, and even the dessert. The steward walks back and forth with a bamboo basket filled with warm bread All the postures are the same as the French dinner. If you insist on saying something less, it's candlelight and roses.

I thought sadly in my heart, if the one sitting opposite me is not the enchantress, but Xi'er, would I be very excited about this trip to France?

Lin Xi'er quickly ate the halibut, and then wait for me to finish eating, she has been waiting, has been waiting, she is going crazy!

She kept clapping her hands on the table, muttering in my ears about sarcasm and threats, and all kinds of ways she could think of to end my French dinner as soon as possible. She took turns to use them.

I sat still in Diaoyutai, with a calm expression and a calm look. Holding a glass of sweet wine, she tasted it slowly.

Lin Xi'er raised her hands and tugged at her hands Hair, glaring at me: "Hello! I really don't see a man like you who takes so long to eat. You have broken the Guinness world record! Have you finished? Hurry up! Hurry up! I think you can eat and drink! Drink! Drink! Drink to death

I looked at her and said with a smile, "Miss Lin, it's so easy for poor people like me to get on a plane and fly first class. Why don't you let me have a good French meal? To be a woman, don't be so heartless. You should know how to be considerate and gentle! And get me foie gras! "

Lin Xi'er completely hysterical, she reached for my hands of the dessert, two curved eyebrows are up.

She screamed, "gu! Don't think Miss Ben doesn't know what you're playing! I tell you, even if you get off the plane with this big meal, the big risk you have to accept will be cashed. If you don't cash it on the plane, when you get to Milan, I want you to cash it on the street! "

The trough! I have to die for this monster!

I said: "you are so persistent! Even if I read that bloody line aloud to a strange woman, what can you get from it? Do you know the difference between a wise man and a fool? A wise man will always think, "this is good for me." a wise man will think about it before he does it. What about a fool? No matter whether it is good for him or not, he will only do it according to his own temperament

"Stop! Put away your bewilderment She stared at me and said, "just now I've been fighting procrastination, but now I want to fight psychological warfare. Don't show off your two brushes in front of Miss Ben. Hurry up! Hurry up

It seems that she has to kill me today!

It seems that I can only put myself to death and later born!

I took two deep breaths, stood up suddenly, looked at her and said, "remember to collect the body for me later!"

Lin Xi'er smiles with satisfaction, then stands up and looks at me with eyebrows

"OK She said, "this man! You go! I will take care of your affairs! "

I looked up at the top of my head and said sadly, "the wind is rustling and the water is cold. Once the strong man goes away, he will never return."

"Any last words?" Lin Xi'er said, squeezing her eyes at me.