Silver Wish

Lila clenched her fist when she heard those words. Is he an idiot?

Why do all these options he has listed end up with him being in pain or hurt?

This is Kiryu's bad habit; he always tries to take on the burden himself and not consult with her. This is one of the things she cleared with Haruka when they started dating.

'Let's not keep secrets from each other, no, let's not keep any secrets that would hurt each other.'

After all, she recognized that some secrets are necessary, and one cannot completely share everything with another person.

"The other method was what Kasumi said about me taking your powers. If I take on all the corruption, then I would be the one who has to decide the fate of the world and sacrifice myself."

She turned around to hit him at those words, but he grabbed hold of her fist and stopped her. Kiryu pulled her into a hug.

"Just now, I was envious when Hamano hugged you. I didn't know you two were close."

"As if, I'm sure Kouta-kun told you."

"I'm sorry about everything, Lila. If I wasn't so uncertain and anxious, I would have known better than to let you go. But I always felt guilty keeping you to myself when I knew about you and Haruka. I felt like I was taking advantage of the situation."

"Mm, I do get that, but you know Kiryu. I truly liked you a lot. Your insecurities regarding me? It's not like I didn't know them; that was why I behaved childishly around you. I clung to you like a child because I wanted to show you that I only saw you. But it seemed that doing that didn't solve the situation. I was partly at fault and should have just talked to you."

"Lila that-"

Lila shook her head. "Kiryu, you keep blaming yourself for everything. You have always had that bad habit. I understand you did it because you loved me because you didn't want to see me hurt. But then what about me? Do you think I like seeing you take the blame for everything? Why would anybody be happy seeing the person they love get hurt? Kiryu, I didn't like it at all."

It hurt her more, knowing that every time something happened, he would blame her.

"I'm sorry."

"Quit apologizing."

"The dream stars tournament," Kiryu mumbled. "They invited you more than once, you know? You passed the requirements a long time ago."

"But you hid the invites?" Lila guessed this a long time ago.

In previous years one of the judges in previous years mentioned how she finally responded to their invite, and then she put the final pieces together.

"I did something stupid, yes."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to see Haruka. Haruka is a major sponsor for that tournament. I knew eventually they would ask him to judge. I did not want to risk you two meeting."

"Then, why didn't you steal the invite last year?"

"Because I understood it would be futile, the more you succeeded in the entertainment industry, the more chances your paths will cross. If it is going to happen anyway, it should occur sooner than later."

At those words, Lila exhaled deeply. Kiryu is truly silly; if he continued to hide the invite, they would have eventually disqualified her from entering. The entertainment industry is large; she would not have crossed paths with Haruka.

"Even if I didn't do that, the moment your mother came back, she would ensure you two met anyway."

So either way, she would have met Haruka. Kiryu probably decided to resign himself to fate, but it doesn't make her feel good at all.

"Did you not think for one moment to I don't know to discuss things with me?"

Kiryu laughed weakly. "Well, that was an option, but I never considered it. How could I possibly tell you, hey Lila, there is this other guy you were in love with before you met me, a guy you proposed to as a child."

Lila turned silent at those words. Just him mentioning it now does seem odd. Back then, she would not have taken the news well.

"I would have probably misunderstood and thought you only said those words to push me away."

"Right, or maybe you would have been so curious and searched for him immediately."

Her sweat fell when she heard his reply. Indeed that is something she would have done too.

Kiryu must have considered all the options.

"Back then, I always thought that something was weighing you down. Who would have thought it was this." Lila trailed off. "Did Haruka not want to meet with me?"

If Haruka wanted, he could have met her a long time ago; why did he stop himself?"

"He blamed himself a lot for the two incidents that occurred when we were kids. I don't know how many of the accidents you remember, but they were both due to Haruka losing control of his powers."

"But, that- he only lost control after he saw that I got hurt, right?"

"Correct." Kiryu shakes his head. "But that fool blamed himself every time. When I tried to persuade him, he said that he was a curse, a huge stain on your life and that he would not involve himself further."

"A stain," Lila mumbled.

"I called him an idiot over and over, but then he blocked my number. A few years went by, and I met him when I went abroad for a short time. He had changed a lot. I could tell that he had gone through so much. He recognized me too, and I thought he would run away, but instead, he asked me to help him."

So that was the reason why Kiryu stayed away for so long.

"You know I thought the reason you stayed away was because I did something wrong."

"Never." Kiryu shook his head. "Even if you did something wrong, I would never blame you for it."

"Your just way too kind, Kiryu." Lila sighed.

"I wonder if it is kindness. Would I treat another girl who wasn't you like this?"

Now that he mentions it, Kiryu had quite the reputation among the girls in school for being cold-hearted. Lila never understood why they said that. Kiryu is so kind and gentle with her, so it never occurred to her to observe how he treated other girls.

"How was Haruka back then?"

"He seemed like a mess and didn't have a stable career or anything. It seemed he was building up his connections in the entertainment industry. But I didn't like his methods, so I taught him how to play music. I thought he would use that chance to debut as an artist, but he still remained in the shadows.. He used those skills to become a successful judge/critic instead."