Restricted Doomsday Syndrome

I deleted all the data from Dorothy. If I had never used this computer system and did not understand its commands, I even wanted to format the entire disk. Pull Niu Niu m {http:

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Friends upload updates} Although it is conceivable that Dorothy will of course encrypt the data and transmission, but this does not ensure 100% security. If our communication is detected by the hospital, it will bring future life and their actions. What kind of variables? Thinking deeper, Dorothy and they will anticipate a leak, and have already prepared a response plan? Or maybe they have no choice but to take the risk of secret communication with me?

Without being able to understand their situation at this time, I cannot make an accurate judgment. Because my body has improved, I began to think about the changes that the possibility of leaking will bring, and make feasible plans for these changes. I do n’t know if this is too much, but even if the personality consciousness has changed-this can be easily judged by comparing the information stored in the brain hardware with the analysis of today ’s mental state-but it may be like a peach According to Rose's personality theory, the original structure has not changed, so although my personality seems to be a little weaker now, I will still maintain similar habits and habits.

Although I will do the same things, such as thinking about possibilities and making plans, but unlike myself in the doomsday illusion, I feel that I am now like a small animal that has to be careful because of its weakness, not a routine meaning. Cautious.

Indeed, now me, whether it is physical or mental state. None can be called strong.

It ’s not that they did n’t grow at all.

Not to mention mental state first. At least physically, it returned to a relatively healthy level after a strange change recently, however, the lingering sense of danger and everything seen in the dream of the spiral ladder, and those crazy hallucinations, All convinced me that this is definitely not a "good phenomenon" in the true sense.

I continue to use my knowledge to dissect myself, analyze the situation, and guess the reasons. Sometimes the focus will be on the fusion of personality information displayed by the brain hardware, and it will even raise a kind of solitude. It's even more like the idea of ​​self-violent self-abandonment-simply take the initiative to merge, give up the current personality, the mentality of this personality is too fragile, integrate the words of deep information. The memory will be restored, and the mind will become stronger. In the current state, nothing can be done. Moreover, even if it does not actively integrate, it also merges a lot passively, does it lead to today's psychological fragility?

However, another voice will tell myself that I want to become stronger with my own strength.

It's not that you can't accept deep personality information, but you are also yourself. It is very difficult to let yourself recognize that it is a part of yourself, and even give up your present self. Even, a little difficult to understand. Even the "Gaochuan" in the illusion of apocalypse did not do it?

His hesitation was inherited by the present me, and under the influence of Ban Haozi's past memories, it seemed to be amplified even more.

Think about it, almost all the memories that I have recovered are what happened before and shortly after the catastrophe. At that time, it was still the child's own. Judging from psychology, being in an environment that has to endure pain, fear, and oppression, what must be produced is a rather extreme and fragile personality, then the personality information and memory information generated during that time are merged It's no surprise that your self will become what you are today.

I just sat in the chair in front of the computer thinking, and the light on the computer screen seemed to start to dazzle. I feel more and more powerful in psychology. But it also deeply felt its powerlessness. I can analyze my psychology and personality in a very sober state, so that I can understand what is different from other people. However, the more this is, the more I feel that it is not easy to change my mind and personality. (..)

Maybe you know a lot of knowledge and can explain your own behavior and modality, but this kind of explanation ca n’t be directly translated into action, or even hinder the further transformation of the mind-because if you can explain it, you will Forgive it with an attitude of relief and understanding, acquiesce it, and even willing to bear the misfortune and pain it brought.

——Because this is not something that cannot be helped?

——Yes, I am such a person.

——Just like that, I do n’t plan to change myself.

——Understanding and doing things can't be equated, don't you understand this kind of reason?

-I can bear the consequences of my choice.

These general ideas, which seem very realistic and handsome on the surface, will always jump out and stop before deciding to transform themselves. The more you understand who you are, the less you can refute these seemingly reasonable ideas. Attached to the present self, attached to the current self to do some things, and attached to the present self to bear some things. It seems that once it changes, it will no longer be itself, producing a feeling similar to "death", or feeling that it will become another kind of unacceptable and difficult to imagine creatures.

Understanding, understanding, affirmation, and perseverance of the self will generate strong resistance to all changes that happen to you.

Yes, just like now, I know all of this, and I feel tricky and powerless about how to act to change myself. This is also an important reason why I have never been able to actively integrate deep personal information.

Those thoughts that used to be handsome now seem to be distorted in essence, and seem to become something ridiculous and negative. It makes people feel fragile and sophistry. Let me fall into a feeling of self-loathing for a while.

If it is another Gaochuan, I can't help but think of the "Gaochuan" who has been watching me in the dream of the spiral staircase and has encouraged me to be different.

Those who have heard it should be a hallucination that reminds me and helps me. Also from him. and. The magic pattern inherited from him helped me a lot. It can even be said that without his help, even the self in the doomsday environment cannot break through those terrible and strange obstacles and handle all kinds of things.

Maybe he died long ago.

What happens when you die in an illusion of doomsday?

-Personality will die.

Ah, the auditory hallucination appeared again, really like his voice.

If it is him, facing this self-persistence. What choice will you make? What choices will he make when he has not determined that he must give up himself to win, and that giving up himself may not necessarily lead to victory? When you give up yourself, you can increase the possibility of saving the people you love. Just to improve, but not sure, what choice would he make?

Yes, he must be personality information that I have not inherited, but I don't know him. Many things happened to him, even if he just saw it, he could feel the power he exuded. Even in the face of that terrible monster Jiang who was like a natural enemy, he was not at all afraid.

He has always existed in this body, obviously still alive in a sense. Instead of giving up the possibility of resurrection, he did not choose to defeat me, but gave me what he had.

I want to know why he can do such a thing.

That must not be because of failure to admit one's failure, failure to bear one's responsibility, and failure to take the next step. Even if he didn't know much about him, he was still Gao Chuan of a certain period, and he and I have commonalities. I know that he must not be that kind of personality.

Just seeing what he looks like, just hearing him talking, you can feel how powerful his heart is. His body seemed to be surrounded by a strong breath like steel and concrete at any time.

That Gaochuan, in a sense. It makes people feel no less fearful than Jiang.

Whether it was when he laughed or when he was silent. All make people feel an overwhelming sense of existence. As if he didn't say anything, he could carry anything, give up what he used to be for something, as long as he acted, it would surprise everyone.

Although I don't want to admit it, I envy him and fear him. If you fully inherited the deep personality information, you might be able to become him, but, for this reason, people are expecting and have a particularly strong sense of unwillingness and fear.

The same is "Gao Chuan", what he can do, but he can't do it. This kind of cognition is too biting.

The rushing thinking and complex emotions made me hungry soon.

How long has it passed? I do n’t know, even if there is no time in the computer. In this closed building, the sense of time soon becomes blurred. Although there are estimates of time, accuracy is hardly expected, and human perception has always been a very delicate thing.

There is almost nothing in this room.

Apart from thinking, I do n’t know what else to do. In addition to putting everything in my head, I dare not write down my thoughts on the computer, and there is not even a piece of toilet paper in this room, let alone a pen.

It's useless to wait any longer. It seems that I don't have to expect someone to bring food. I have to go out to find food.

It ’s unbelievable, it ’s a precious “special case”, but it ’s just so casual. Can't help but doubt that people here have ulterior motives, maybe there is always a camera monitoring this room. However, no matter how you look for it, it is in vain. I really hope that the people who are monitoring do not see my communication with Dorothy.

Theoretically, letting the opposite side of the monitor see the "normal image" is not very technically difficult. Therefore, I can only hope that Dorothy can handle it well.

I adjusted my expression, opened the door, and walked straight along the long arc corridor. I don't know if there is a canteen or where it is. I can only pay close attention to what might be an indoor entrance. Most "doors" do not have nameplates, so although it is guessed that there is a room behind, it is impossible to determine whether the occupants are patients with doomsday syndrome.

In the previous video materials from Dorothy, I did not find the "critically ill" room in the memory of the whole island. If there is anything special, it is the hill above the closed building. On the tower. Its position and shape are too prominent. At a glance, it gives a lonely feeling of prohibiting approach. So I have to guess that the hospital has transformed the "critically ill" room.

If this is a "critically ill room", it is also very different from the scene in memory. In the past, the "intensive care unit" was full of painful and crazy howlings of patients, and it was possible to see cruel behavior at any time: maybe an assistant was killed by the patient, maybe the patient was killing each other, maybe the patient was ignoring My own body has to pull myself out of imprisonment, maybe a researcher is using relatively simple and primitive means to use advanced patients for human research.

Crying and shouting. Howling, electric drills, electric currents, blood spurting. The creaking sound of the saw blade stuck in the bone, the sound of the exhaust fan, the heavy breathing sound, and even the sound of not knowing what it is at all, and more frightening is that these sounds do not know how to describe it at all , Is issued by the "human form"-those patients have become irretrievable before they become liquid.

You can smell the **** taste every day. Later, it seems that the blood is not fishy. On the contrary, it exudes a faint sweet fragrance like night scent.

At first, I felt that many places were too dark, and there seemed to be monsters jumping out at any time, and the crazy sounds further exacerbated the fantasy in my mind, but over time, I became used to it, and even felt that the sounds were like those played by the countrymen The charming symphony has a rhythm that makes people want to jump.

If, in this closed building, a similar sound is made. When similar scenes appear, I will certainly not feel timid and strange, but none of these things appear. As if everyone had left, the long corridor. It seems as if we can only see our shadow even if we reach the end, which is really strange. It makes people feel a little nervous.

I tried pressing the palm of my hand on the "door", and it had no effect, even the most likely bad result did not appear.

These "doors" seem to be just a decoration. However, when I put my ear on it, it seemed that I could hear the sound from inside.

There was someone behind the door in front of me, but the sound insulation of the room was too good, and the other party did not seem to plan to come out.

Because the only thing I could see in the hallway was myself, I could n’t tell whether I wanted to make a prank or want to vent, so I kicked the door.

The sound of "Boom" sounded loudly, which scared me a little.

I was a thief and looked around with guilty conscience, but no one came to see what was going on.

The people in the room did not plan to come out and scold me.

This result is annoying and makes my stomach hungry.

I want to eat something, such as some flesh with blood ...

I have never eaten such half-cooked meat. It is said that it is highly respected by foreign countries, but I have not tried it once. Suddenly, I suddenly want to eat such meat, and eat it in large chunks.

When I came back to God, I was puzzled by this kind of thought, but I didn't feel terrible. It seemed that this was the real thought in my heart. I really wanted to eat that kind of meat.

"What are you doing?" A voice came from behind.

Dr. Ruan Li. When I turned my head, she was already standing there, not knowing when or where she suddenly popped out. In this unaware situation, her voice sounded very abruptly, making my heart beating a little faster.

"I want to ask, where is the place to eat." I said seriously, adjusting my tone and rhythm, and said slowly.

"Well, you seem to haven't eaten during the day?" Dr. Ruan Li walked over and looked at me and said, "However, you look much more energetic than the day ... look good!"

"Daytime?" I was a little surprised, because I always felt that it was only a few hours from when I woke up, and now, "Doctor, when was the last time we met?"

"At about nine o'clock in the morning, it was my duty time."

I didn't expect that I had stayed in the room for such a long time. During that time, have I been thinking about things? Looking back now, it's really incredible. And, I do n’t know why, the brain suddenly has a blank feeling, like suddenly forgetting something, or like the feeling of idling when suddenly thinking ~ www.readwn.com ~.

Dr. Ruan Li raised his arm, and then I realized that she had a paper cup in her hand, which was filled with hot coffee.

Dr. Ruan Li took a sip of coffee, and I couldn't help but lick my lips, feeling a little thirsty. Of course not because of Dr. Ruan Li ’s good figure, full of mature and sensible temperament and other reasons. I think her actions should strengthen her appetite and ca n’t wait to eat or drink.

"Huh? Your eyes are uncomfortable." Dr. Ruan Li's eyes straightened against me, saying so.

"Really? That's really sorry, I'm so hungry." I was a little embarrassed.

"Hungry?" Dr. Ruan Li paused and said, "Maybe."

I do n’t quite understand what the female doctor is thinking. Like Dr. Ander, she has extensive psychological knowledge and experience.

"I will take you to the restaurant now. After you finish eating, we will do a physical examination." Dr. Ruan Li said as if he emphasized particularly: "Don't worry, it's just a routine examination."