My Husband Will Regret This

Chapter 89

“Sh*t!”

Returning to the room, Eric threw down the cigarette pack and trampled on it. As he threw his head back and stamped his foot again, this didn’t excuse him for smoking in front of Chloe for the last time. He was very disappointed in himself.

Why didn’t he know? Why didn’t he think of that far?!

“If I hadn’t told you, you probably wouldn’t have known.”

Yes. He wouldn’t have known.

He would never have known until she told him.

“This is why we can’t.”

However, this was not the case. Now that he knew it, wasn’t that enough? Was it no longer enough to have that kind of relationship where they point out mistakes and correct them?

Eric buried his face in his hands.

It wouldn’t. They had come a long way to be in that relationship, and there was no going back. Wasn’t Chloe’s heart too hardened?

Perhaps, they were wrong in the first place, he thought. Even though they loved each other from the beginning, they couldn’t understand each other’s feelings and pushed each other away by focusing on their own interests… It was such a bad relationship.

Still, Eric had no intention of letting go of Chloe. He just thought that no matter how hard it was, he had to win her heart back.

To rectify this, he thought he would have to redo the approach from the beginning.

That was right.

…From the beginning.

Eric squeezed the crushed cigarette even more, closing his eyes tightly.

Stupid Eric.

Stupid Eric.

And Chloe, who was stupidly kind.

* * *

The doctor that Eric had been looking for was pretty good for what he found in one night. She listened to Chloe properly, and she sympathized with and comforted her. Nonetheless, Chloe couldn’t get rid of the idea that there was a wall somewhere, like saying something like this.

“Are you saying that you wanted to die?”

She never said she wanted to die. Rather, she just felt it was okay to die. The difference between the two was huge, and the doctor didn’t seem to understand it.

…Even eminent doctors didn’t understand her, so was there anyone who could understand her?

Chloe was a bit sad.

“Mrs. Aslan?”

Besides, she hated that the doctor kept calling her ‘Mrs. Aslan’ because she had already separated from Eric. Of course, Eric hasn’t filed the divorce papers in court yet, so the relationship remains on paper, so the doctor did have to refer to her as ‘Mrs. Aslan,’ but Chloe doesn’t like being called ‘Mrs.’

She just wanted to be Chloe, and she always wanted to be that, so she didn’t answer the doctor’s questions and gave her own words.

“Call me Chloe.”

“Yes?”

“A little more friendly.”

The doctor thought it was a good thing that the client was so friendly, and she accepted her request.

Chloe, how are you feeling? Chloe, what are you thinking now? Chloe, how do you want to live in the future…

Chloe, who hadn’t answered the questions the whole time, finally spoke up when it came to the last question.

“I want to live doing what I want to do.”

“Are you still feeling like you want to die?”

“I just think it’s okay to die. I don’t know how many times I’ve told you.”

“When I thought about it, the two words seemed to be on the same line. Does Mrs, no, Chloe think otherwise?”

“It’s different.”

Chloe answered firmly. She continued with the hope that this time, she would be able to convince the doctor.

“I want to die is a word that can be used when there is a certain will. You must have the courage to end this life and choose death, but being okay with dying is an extremely unwilling feeling. It’s okay if someone kills me. It’s okay if I get sick and die… I mean, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need courage or willpower.”

Though the doctor, who had listened to Chloe’s words, nevertheless, didn’t seem to understand her at all.

The expression on the doctor’s face was like saying, ‘What is she talking about?’ Although she tried to talk a little more, Chloe decided that judging from the doctor’s expression, it would be impossible for her to understand her, so she just kept her mouth shut.

The doctor looked at Chloe and said cautiously.

“I think you’d better take some medicine.”

“I think so.”

Chloe replied with a smile.

“Because you never know when I’ll jump again.”

The doctor’s eyes widened as her hands were busy recording the patient’s journal.

“Do you still have the urge to do so?”

“No.”

Chloe firmly shook her head.

“I am not courageous enough to choose death in front of others.”

The doctor’s brow narrowed slightly.

It was the noble Mrs. Aslan. The doctor had heard that she was strict and noble, but she didn’t know that Chloe would be such a difficult person. The doctor smiled and pulled her chin.

“I’ll give you some medicine to take until the next consultation.”

“Thank you.”

The doctor, who was writing the prescription, raised her head apologetically.

“I want to tell you, just in case, taking a lot of this medicine is not good. Take only the prescribed dose at the prescribed time.”

“Why?”

Chloe asked out of pure curiosity.

“Is eating more than that harmful to the body?”

However, the doctor seemed to have interpreted it differently. She thought Chloe might choose to commit suicide by overdosing on the medication, so she hastily replied.

“You will not die.”

It was not Chloe who would not notice the meaning of these words. She wrinkled her nose and gave a low laugh.

“I think you are worried that I will die.”

“It’s because you only talked about dying during the consultation.”

As the doctor replied as if it was a matter of course, Chloe smiled bitterly as she again felt her desperate helplessness was not understood.

“I told you…”

She cupped her hands together.

“I have neither the will nor the courage to choose death.”

“But…”

“All I needed was a shield to block my momentary urges. That’s why I’m trying to take medicine.”

With her confident words, the doctor was speechless as Chloe smiled softly at her.

“I will not die.”

Still, Chloe knew.

She was sick and would soon die anyway… and that day was not far off.

* * *

Eric stood in front of Chloe’s door. To be precise, he was staring at the door, leaning against the window right in front of the door.

He remembered what the doctor said at the end of her consultation with Chloe.

“Madam is… depressed. I think she’s seriously ill.”

He took a deep breath.

“I think the priority is to regain her will to live. It must be very difficult, but you have to be by her side to help me.”

Will to live.

Eric tried his best to find that d*mn motivation. He moved into a mansion and even set up a newspaper to give her. Though not only did Chloe refuse, she got angry and asked why he was doing this.

His efforts hadn’t reached her, so he was feeling defeated and helpless.

“It could be really dangerous if it goes on like this. Please keep an eye on her to see if she takes the medicines regularly and makes sure she doesn’t make the wrong choices.”

At that, he immediately called Andrea and told her to monitor Chloe’s every move. In addition, he had spoken to the other maids besides her to watch Chloe wherever she went and reported it to him.

This was an act for her, but Eric could feel something strange.

It was like he was holding Chloe in check… that bad feeling. He wasn’t trying to restrain Chloe, it was to save her. It meant trying to get her out of the swamp of her endless melancholy, which she couldn’t even think of getting out of it.

Still, no matter how much he justified that, another voice kept coming from inside his heart.

Are you trying to get Chloe back in your hands by doing this?

Eric closed his eyes tightly.

…It shouldn’t be like this.

Yes. It couldn’t be like this.

He took another deep breath, raised his eyes, and knocked on Chloe’s door.

After a while, a voice called him to come in, Eric immediately opened the door. Today, fortunately, the window was not open. No, the accurate expression was that it could not be opened. It was because he hired a worker to block all the windows.

With this, she wouldn’t fall off.

Eric thought so and looked around.

Since all windows were blocked, the only way out was through the door. He felt like this scene was like a cage. And Chloe, who was sitting on the bed, was like a bluebird trapped and unable to fly…

Eric spoke to her unknowingly.

“I want you to go out with me.”

Chloe didn’t answer. She just stared at him with unfocused eyes. On the other hand, Eric was also in a situation where he was startled by what he said and couldn’t continue the next conversation, so the silence flowed a little longer.

It was Chloe’s hoarse voice that broke the silence.

“…Where?”

Where should they go?

Eric thought about it, and the thought didn’t last long.

“To the place where we can go back to the beginning.”

She hesitated but thought that she hadn’t been out for a long time.

He wouldn’t let her out all by herself, so what should she do? As she listened to Eric’s repeated pleas, she wanted to look outside. Chloe was forced to get on the carriage, and before long, they arrived at the Capital’s academy, where they first met.