My Husband Will Regret This

Chapter 88

Eric stood in front of Chloe’s door.

In fact, he felt awkward seeing her today because he left flowers and a letter yesterday. How could he do something so embarrassing? If it had been him, he would have tried not to see her for about a week, but things were different now, and he couldn’t help it.

Chloe herself volunteered to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. He thought there must be a reason.

After wandering around in place for a while, Eric soon made up his mind and approached the door. When he cautiously raised his hand and knocked on the door, he could hear a voice telling him to come in.

He turned the doorknob and opened the door.

The window was wide open, so the raging snowstorm was pouring straight into the room. And that wasn’t all. Showing how long it had been left open, snow could be seen around the window.

What the hell was this?! Eric was startled and ran toward the window.

“Chloe! Why would you leave the window open like this when you’re not feeling well!”

He shouted, closing the window and fastening the latch.

“You are very determined to catch a cold! How long have you left the window open? Your body is so icy!”

Eric shouted, rubbing her frozen shoulder before he quickly picked up a blanket from the sofa and wrapped it around her. In the meanwhile, Chloe had been staring at him all this time.

Looking at her, who said nothing, he was worried that her behavior was really caused by depression.

“Say something. Why are you doing this!”

He walked over to Chloe, who was sitting on the bed and got down on one knee, and looked up at her. As he met her eyes, Eric gazed at her two eyes that were empty.

“I…”

Chloe, who had been silent for a long time, opened her mouth slowly.

“I wanted to know if I could not jump.”

Eric worked hard to understand the meaning, but he couldn’t understand what she was talking about. Finally, he asked, placing his hand on the back of Chloe’s hand.

“What do you mean?”

Chloe looked down at Eric.

Where and how should she say it? Should she say that she tried to commit suicide yesterday without knowing it, but gave up on dying after reading the letter he left behind? …No, she didn’t want to say that. She still didn’t want to reveal to him how big his presence was.

“Yesterday…”

After choosing the words in her mouth for a long time, she let out a slow breath and spoke again.

“I almost jumped.”

“Chloe!”

Eric was so startled that he screamed without realizing it. Then, he looked reflexively at the tightly closed window. He was glad that nothing terrible happened today. There was a momentary sense of relief, but it wasn’t… was there any guarantee that it wouldn’t happen in the future?

An eerie aura ran up and down his back.

He thought he should call someone and block all the windows as soon as this conversation was over. He couldn’t let Chloe die! Because she couldn’t die!

“I wanted to know if I really wanted to die, or if I lacked the mental strength to resist the urge to die. So I left the window open, fortunately, it seems to be the latter. It didn’t seem like I wanted to die.”

Eric let out a long sigh as he buried his forehead between her knees and closed his eyes. Blue veins rose on the back of his hand as he clutched Chloe’s hand.

“I will call the doctor right away. No, I told them to call it, so at least tomorrow, you should be able to see them. You can also take medicine.”

He raised his head.

As Chloe stared at him again, Eric also stared at her without missing a moment. Suddenly, a dark aura passed through her big eyes. It was the spirit of death.

“Eric.”

She continued her words slowly, without bending her straight back, and without changing her posture once.

“What will happen if I don’t die?”

“Chloe.”

“And what will happen if I die?”

“Chloe…!”

Despite his cry, she smiled sadly. She could see his bloodshot eyes. Chloe continued her words, trying to ignore his reddened gaze.

“If I die, nothing will happen. The world won’t change just because that one person disappears. Conversely, nothing happens even if I don’t die. In any case, nothing happens… so wouldn’t it be better to die?”

Eric pursed his lips.

He wanted to say something, but no words came out like someone had blocked his mouth. He buried his face in Chloe’s lap again, catching his breath.

Why was she saying this so casually?!

Chloe didn’t seem to value her own life very much. This was a thought Eric had felt for a long time though he was only vaguely unsure until now.

But today, he was sure.

Chloe really isn’t afraid of death.

Eric felt like he was about to cry. It was because he seemed to be at fault for Chloe accepting death so calmly and for her to live without a purpose in her life. Because the first time he saw her, she wasn’t like this…

All because of him.

He made her like this.

Chloe was not the kind of person to crumble like this…

As he thought that, Eric rubbed his swollen eyes and lifted his head. He gazed at her with a gloomy, wet gaze.

“Why do you think nothing will happen?”

Chloe didn’t answer. Eric continued, holding her hand tightly.

“When you disappear, my world disappears. If you exist, my world will be protected.”

“….”

“So why… how could you say that…”

Chloe blinked slowly as she looked at Eric’s wet face.

It was the first time his face looked like this… It was the first time she had seen him with a face that looked like he was about to cry. Still, there was no commotion in Chloe’s chest. No agitation. She seemed to have lost her true feelings. She felt no sadness, no joy, no pity, no resentment—she felt none of it.

Chloe just stared at Eric indifferently.

Eric bit his lip, feeling hurt by her heartless gaze.

“You need treatment. I’ll call the doctor right away tomorrow and make sure they treat you somehow. So Chloe, stay with me today. I cannot leave you alone.”

He spoke in an almost pleading voice, but even then, there was no change in Chloe’s eyes. She just looked at him without hesitation. It didn’t matter if Eric got burnt by her gaze or dried up…

“I want to go to Heath.”

Suddenly, Chloe opened her mouth.

“I want to see the sea.”

She closed her eyes. Even when she closes her eyes, only one thing unfolds.

Only the sea.

The waves that came and went, the seawater that was embracing the colors of the sea, the birds leisurely playing on it, the warm air, the sunlight… Chloe missed the sea… no, she missed everything about Heath.

“And…”

She recalled her greatest sense of accomplishment right before she collapsed. The moment when she did something for the first time, and she got her hands on something for the first time. Chloe thought that was the only moment she was alive, and she wanted to go back to that time again.

“I want to work.”

She held Eric’s hand tightly.

“Please, Eric. Please let me go.”

Only now did her eyes turn red.

Eric was so frustrated. No matter what he said or how he behaved, she didn’t waver in the slightest… As soon as she recalled Heath, where she had only stayed a few months, she changed… He was saddened, but at the same time, he blamed himself. He was reminded that in five long years, he had never done anything to Chloe.

Slowly letting go of her hand, he got up, picked up a nearby chair, pulled it and sat down.

“If you say so.”

He said as he took a cigarette out of his jacket pocket.

“Let’s go together.”

Click.

He turned on the lighter and lit a cigarette. As he inhaled the cigarette smoke deeply, Eric exhaled it all at once and looked at Chloe.

“I can’t let you go even if you die alone, so let’s go together. We are leaving here with everyone.”

She looked at him again.

To be precise, she gazed at the single cigarette hanging from his finger.

“Eric.”

Chloe smiled and shook her head.

“You know what?”

She slowly brought out the words she had wanted to say for a very long time, the words she had been harboring in her heart the whole time, and held them in her mouth.

The words came in a pop.

“I hate cigarette smoke.”

Eric’s eyes widened. She could see his fingertips trembling as Chloe smiled again and shook her chin.

“Perhaps you would never have known if I hadn’t told you.”

She lowered her gaze.

“This is why we can’t.”

She didn’t raise her eyes when Eric extinguished his cigarette and said that he didn’t know, because she didn’t want to see him anymore.