As Long As You Are Happy

She was going to ask. 

If she really had done something wrong, it would be better for her to go ask him about it and apologise rather than kick herself over it for the rest of the night. 

‘I can’t stand being this frustrated for long.’

Before Irina left the room, she turned her head and took a look out the window once more. 

After leaving her room, she traversed the empty hallways. 

She climbed down the stairs she had gotten used to by that point and walked along even more hallways before finally arriving in front of his study.

“Duke.”

Irina knocked on the door to his study softly.

“Is the duke there?”

“Miss Irina?”

She heard a voice coming from inside the room.

It sounded distinctly deeper than before. 

“What brings you here at such a late hour?”

“I came because I have something to say.”

She could not tell if he was going to open the door. He sounded loud enough but the door did not show any sign of budging.

“Would you mind opening the door?”

“… This is very late at night. If it is not important, I can hear it tomorrow.”

Huh?

Irina’s brow twitched. 

He was going to hear me out tomorrow?

The Duke of Winfried had been so busy that she had not seen a single strand of his hair lately.

There was no way that same person would be free to see her tomorrow. 

‘So, he’s avoiding me.’

Irina could feel it in her gut.

That the duke was avoiding her right now.

But she could not back down when she had come this far. Irina spoke louder.

“No. I really want to tell you this right now.”

“But I’m a little occupied right now.”

“You told me earlier that I could come find you anytime.”

Did he not tell her that it was his duty to make time for me whenever? 

“I would really like to see you right now, duke.”

“… Alright.”

His answer took a little longer to come as though he had mulled it over. The door to his study opened with a click.

“Duke…”

She could not find the words to continue. 

When she saw the duke coming out of his study, Irina’s eyes widened.

His hair was as tousled as usual and there was a single droplet of water trickling down the back of his neck.

To top it off, he was wearing the same outfit that had shocked Irina the last time. 

T-the clothes that would expose his stomach if he slipped up even a little.

Even now, the strap around his waist was only loosely tied around his waist. 

He might be well-covered now but if he made even the slightest mistake, the straps could come undone.

“Why!”

Irina quickly covered her eyes. She made a small noise in surprise. 

“Why would you wear that in your study…!”

“That’s because, I was washing up.”

Rogan replied smoothly. 

“I was planning on sleeping afterward but I remembered that I have some documents I need to send by early tomorrow morning. So, I just wanted to double-check.”

Strangely, his voice that seemed to have been laced with a smile tickled her ears.

“Hadn’t I explained that I was occupied earlier?”

“B-But the study is such a long distance from your room.”

If Irina was recalling correctly, the Duke’s rooms and his study were situated on opposite ends of the hallway. 

Had he walked such a long distance wearing that?

Even though it was already late into the night, there were still knights patrolling and servants working at dawn. 

“You really were a pervert…”

“I’m not.”

Rogan replied firmly before sighing.

“I had too much to do which was why I used the one here.”

Rogan pointed at the door leading to the adjacent room. 

So, it was right next to the study. It was merely a few steps away.

Aha, so this was the reason why.

He wasn’t avoiding her because of what happened earlier in the day but because of this.

‘I hadn’t known.’

Irina smiled but, at the same time, her cheeks began to flare up.

‘I feel like hiding.’

If she could, she would head back to the room right away with her eyes closed as they were now. 

In fact, her body was already subconsciously retreating. 

“…..!”

However, before she could even take half a step back, her body slumped forward. 

The hand that had been covering her eyes was pulled down. Thud, she could hear the door closing behind her. 

Surprised, Irina turned around. 

“There are servants walking around.”

As he maintained eye contact, Rogan ruffled his short hair. 

“This wouldn’t be a good situation to be caught in.”

She had come to visit late at night and the duke was half-naked. 

The knights who had long been loyal to the Winfried House would definitely have something to say if they saw.

More so the servants and maids who had just started working in the estate. 

“Uhm.”

Irin bit into her lower lip. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not something you should apologise for.”

After he pulled Irina by hand to the sofa and prompted her to sit, he then draped a thin blanket over her shoulders.

As if he had accomplished all that was on his agenda, Rogan half-leaned against his desk.

“So, let’s hear what you so need to tell me.”

“Duke.”

She was still embarrassed enough that she could still feel her cheeks burning but whatever had transpired earlier was separate from what she came here for. 

She had to ask him about the mistake she made. 

“Did I perhaps make some mistake earlier today?”

Irina stared at Rogan who had his back against the window. 

“If I did, could you please tell me what I did?”

She had visited him in confidence but now her courage had shattered. In the meantime, her anxiety began to bubble below the surface of her mind yet again. 

“If you intimidate me and then avoid me as you did in the afternoon, I’ll be a little…”

She could not find the words to continue. Her head fell. Irina rubbed her neck.

“A little, at a loss for what to do…”

Irina’s head gently lifted. But she was not the one who moved her head. That was the work of a warm hand. 

With her head raised, she found Rogan bending over her and staring at herself. 

“You should have gotten angry.”

His calloused fingers swept the tears she hadn’t realised were falling away from her face. 

“You shouldn’t be blaming yourself, you should have gotten angry with me. I was the one in the wrong for what happened.”

“Still.”

Thinking that she might have done something wrong, Irina was afraid she would start bawling there and then, killing the prospects of proper conversation, which was why Irina had suppressed her tears. 

“I thought I did something wrong. That’s why you left.”

“You didn’t.”

Rogan smiled bitterly.

“I was obviously the one in the wrong earlier. It was all my fault, I am a horrible man.”

“No!”

As she clutched onto the blanket draped over her shoulders, Irina shook her head.

“The duke is not a horrible man. You saved me and welcomed me into this estate.”

“But that is only natural. I only did something anyone else would do.”

“Of course it isn’t.”

Irina dropped her head again.

“You did something amazing. Something no one else would.”

Had it not been for the Duke of Winfried, she would have been in the Baron of Barrodon’s bed right now. 

She would probably be trembling on his bed, covered in more wounds than she had been in the slums. 

‘Because of the Baron of Barrodon, Ben did not raise a hand against me.’

Because he had to present the baron with a product without any defects. 

That was the only reason. 

Her fate was to be dragged away, living like she was dead for a year before eventually dying and having her corpse tossed into the river. 

A miserable life where both her life and death was determined by wills other than her own. 

That was the life Irina had been given. 

But that was no longer the case.

‘I survived.’

She learned that she had parents, though they had already passed, and her real name.

She could fall asleep in a cosy bed without ever worrying about it being too cold or hot every day. 

She could eat warm meals that were made for her every single time and not just leftovers people had thrown out. 

“I’ve learned how to choose now.”

Irina tried to keep her voice from being drowned by her sobs. 

“I’ve learned how to express what I want to learn, eat and all else.”

“…..”

“And I’ve gradually begun thinking about how I want to live my life.”

Irina looked up at Rogan.

“And now I know how beautiful summer is.”

“…..”

“The days that had always been terribly hot, the ones I always wanted to end, were actually so beautiful.”

Having his back turned against the only light source in the room, shadows were casted across Rogan’s face which made it difficult to discern the expression on his face.

“Duke.”

Irina reached out and grabbed Rogan’s hand. 

“I am alive because of you, duke.”

It was thanks to this very hand that reached into the crate

That she survived.

That she also learned how to live like a proper human being. 

“So, please don’t say that…”

The tears that the duke had wiped off like nothing were streaming down her cheeks again.

“Miss Irina.”

Rogan knelt on the floor. He raised his gaze higher so as to meet Irina’s as she sat on the sofa. 

“For saying all that about me.”

As he looked down at the hand that was desperately grabbing onto his like the first time they met, Rogan smiled. 

No, was he smiling?

She had no way of telling. Irina could barely see because of her tears and the darkness.

“I cannot thank you enough.”

Rogan pressed his lips atop Irina’s hand. 

“You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“…..”

“For the sake of someone who thinks so fondly of me, I will not make the same mistake again.”

Hick, barely holding back more tears from falling, Irina nodded. 

“It’d be best if you stopped crying too.”

This time, it really did look like he was smiling. His voice sounded much gentler.

“Strange enough, it seems like you only hiccup or cry like this with me.”

“That’s because–”

Sniffing once more, Irina replied curtly.

“The duke scared me. And you were very intimidating today.”

“Yes, and that’s all my fault.”

His fingers swept around her eyes this time round. 

Irina pressed her lips together tightly as she let the hand wipe her eyes.

“By the way, duke.”

Irina was the one to reach her hand out this time.

Her pale fingers traced the red stroke along the nape of his neck.

“You have a wound here. It looks like it needs some salve. After you do…”

“Perhaps.”

Grabbing Irina’s hand hurriedly, Rogan looked up at Irina.

“Do you have some time tomorrow? From what I can recall, you don’t have classes.”

“I don’t but,”

Rogan was right.

For one to two days of every week, Irina would not have any classes.

The Viscountess of Alphington had told Irina to use these days to have a good rest and save her energy for the next class but Irina had always used the free time to study alone. 

That was why she had planned on finishing the rest of her etiquette textbook and the textbook on aristocratic language since there were only a few pages left the day after the next.

“Then, shall we visit the lake together?”

“The lake?”

“Yes, there is a nice lake not too far from the capital.”

Rogan continued explaining slowly. 

“Kaal told me that the lake is the most beautiful around this time of the year. Shall we go for a walk there? We could ride a boat around the lake too.”

Lake, walk, boat.

With those few words alone, she began smiling through her tears.

“That sounds delightful.”

Smiling with tears still on her face, Irina held Rogan’s hand.

“Let us go together, duke.”

T/N:

Sorry for being gone for so long, I’m back now T.T