In your 20s, you must understand the wisdom of success

Chapter 13: Successful Relationships (2)
Sitting in a gym and having someone else do it for us will never increase our own muscle strength.There may be lightning and thunder on the road of life, and there may be thorns, but don't expect others to hold up an umbrella for you, and don't wait for others to cut off the thorns for you.To be independent, to be successful, everything depends on oneself.Mr. Lu Xun said that there is no road in the world, and the more people go, the road becomes.A true brave is to walk out a path of life independently.

Don't hesitate any longer, don't wait any longer, from now on, let us be completely self-reliant and self-reliant, so as to create our own world.

(Chapter 3 cooperation - a flower can't dress up a beautiful spring
A person's talent and strength are always limited, and only through cooperation can a complex work be completed in the most time-saving, labor-intensive and efficient manner.No one can achieve lasting success without the assistance of others.

cooperation will have strength

Dr. Liu told a story about basketball and cooperation:
On Christmas Eve in 1987, when I was studying for a master's degree in the United States, there was a class that required us to go to companies in groups of four to help them write systems.Since the other three Americans in the same group had no concept of system development, I, the team leader, had no choice but to take the lead and almost completed all the work alone.Finally, the case has come to an end, the manufacturer and the teacher are quite satisfied with our (actually mine) system.The next day I ran to see my grades with high hopes, and it turned out to be a B. What was even more annoying was that the other three Americans got A's.I was so annoyed that I hurried to find the teacher.

"Teacher, why is everyone else A, but I am B?"

"Oh! That's because your team members don't think you have much to offer the team!"

"Teacher, you should know that I created that system almost by myself, right?"

"Oh! Yeah! But that's what they all say, so..."

"Speaking of contributions, you know Bryan, every time I ask him to come to a meeting, he pushes back and forth, doesn't he want to participate?"

"That's right! But he said it's because you don't listen to him every time you have a meeting, so you don't think there is any need to hold any more meetings!"

"What about Jeff? The level he writes is almost useless every time, thanks to me helping him rewrite it!"

"Yeah! That's what makes him feel disrespected, and he doesn't like to participate more and more. He thinks you should take the main responsibility for this!"

"And those two aside, what about Mimi? She doesn't do anything but call us pizza at night, so why is she getting an A?"

"Mimi! Bryan and Jeff feel she has made a huge contribution to saving your group from falling apart, so an A!"

"Dear teacher! Are you racist?"

"Oh! Poor boy, can you play basketball?"

"What does this have to do with playing basketball?"

"Let's put it this way, on the basketball court, any score must rely on the close cooperation between the players. A good basketball player such as Jordan, in addition to his superb skills, is more important between him and his players. , and the spirit of being willing to pursue excellence with the team members.”

More than ten years have passed, and looking back on my learning process, I found that on that morning, my teacher gave me a Christmas gift that was even more precious than a master's degree.He let me understand that narrowly holding the life attitude of "you win is I lose", or even "only take but not give", although sometimes it will take some small advantages, but in the end it will only lead to a miserable end for myself.Whether the personal goal is to get promoted, make a fortune, or simply enjoy work, it requires teamwork to achieve the goal.Today, I need the support of my superiors, the help of colleagues, and the cooperation of my classmates every day. Thank God, from that day on, I really understand the importance of cooperation.

We live in an era full of competition, and survival seems to be getting more and more difficult, but it is precisely because of this that we need to cooperate with others more.Those who make the most effective use of the laws of cooperation survive the longest.

Those who do not understand the principles of cooperation are failing. In the world in which people live, evidence of "survival of the fittest" can be seen everywhere.The "fittest" mentioned here is the person with power, and power is the power of cooperation.

Everyone's ability is always limited.Some people have so much energy that they think there is nothing they can't do.In fact, no matter how energetic you are, there is still a limit to your personal ability.If you exceed this limit, you will be beyond the reach of others, which is your shortcoming.Everyone has their own strengths, but also their own shortcomings, so we need to cooperate with others, use the strengths of others to make up for our own weaknesses, and develop the habit of cooperation.

There are differences in people's personalities and abilities, and these differences have been formed over a long period of time. It cannot be said that one type is necessarily good and one type is necessarily bad.Because of these differences, the nature of the work that everyone can do is different.If you want to make a difference, you must first understand your personality and ability, and then choose a work goal that suits you.When cooperating with others, you should also pay attention to analyzing the personality characteristics of others, so that everyone can find a job that suits them as much as possible.That is, he can make up for your shortcomings, and you can make up for his shortcomings.

Only those who give full play to their own advantages and can use the advantages of others to make up for their own shortcomings can achieve success in today's society.

Know how to use your strengths
A little boy is playing on the beach.He has some toys around him—cars, vans, plastic buckets, and a shiny plastic shovel.While building roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he found a large rock blocking his way.

The little boy started digging in the sand around the rock, trying to get it out of the silt.He was a very small child, and the rock was quite huge.With all his strength, he used his hands and feet, but the rock remained motionless.The little boy made up his mind, pushed his hands, squeezed his shoulders, swayed left and right, and hit the rock again and again. However, every time he moved the rock a little, the rock rested with him And return to the original place.The little boy screamed in anger, pushing and squeezing with all his strength.However, the only reward he got was that the rock rolled back and broke his finger.Finally, exhausted, he sat on the beach and wept bitterly.

The whole process, his father saw clearly not far away.As tears rolled down the child's face, the father came to him.The father's words were gentle but firm: "Son, why didn't you use all your strength?" The boy sobbed: "Dad, I have exhausted all my strength, I have exhausted all my strength!" "No!" The father was kind He corrected, "Son, you didn't exhaust all your strength. You didn't ask for my help." After finishing speaking, the father bent down and picked up the rock, and threw it far away.

The meaning of this story is not to tell people to think of others first and then rely on others, but to hope that people will try their own efforts to find out the extent of things when they face anything, and then decide whether to continue to shoulder the burden alone. Or rely on the strength of others and cooperate with others.

The power of a single person is limited. Only by cooperating with others, taking advantage of others' strengths and making up for one's own weaknesses, can mutual benefit and both parties benefit from it.

People have strengths and weaknesses, and problems that you cannot solve may be easy for your friends or relatives, who are also your resources and strength.

"One hero and three gangs" means being good at dealing with people and making friends, so as to support each other, promote each other, cooperate with each other, and rely on each other.

Geese always form a "V" shape and fly to the south for the winter. Why do they fly like this?Scientists already have some answers:
When flying in formation, a whole flock of geese travels 73 percent longer than a single goose.Because when a goose flaps its wings, it creates an updraft for the geese behind it.

When the lead goose gets tired, it will rotate to the tail of the "V" formation, allowing another goose to take the lead.

The wild geese in the back uttered "呢呱" to encourage the wild geese in front.

Whenever the geese fall out of formation, they immediately feel the resistance of flying alone and quickly return to the formation.

Finally, when a wild goose falls behind due to illness or injury, two wild geese will fly with it to the ground to help and protect it.They guard a wounded goose until the goose shows signs of improvement or dies.They then join new flocks, or form their own groups to catch up with the ones ahead.

These geese are really smart!With the help of each other's airflow, they took turns to occupy the leading position, encouraged each other with calls, maintained formation, and cared for the wounded, so they flew farther than lone geese.This is the power of cooperation.

To learn to cooperate, use the following techniques:
1. Be open-minded and learn from all opinions.It means accepting all insightful ideas and at the same time contributing your own opinions.In daily life, people often have the experience of "unity is strength". For example, a football game can temporarily stimulate team spirit.Some people will think that this is a special case, but the special case can happen often.

2. Respect every member of the group.This is the basic criterion to ensure the success of cooperation.While you may be sure that you are more knowledgeable than the other participants, it is important that you allow others to fully express themselves without interrupting or showing impatience. cooperation is necessary.

3. Encourage others to offer diverse perspectives.In addition to presenting your own views, you should encourage other members to present theirs as well.When others present their points of view, you respond positively and suggestively.

4. Seek common ground while reserving differences.Seeking common ground while reserving differences is not only suitable for exchanges between large countries, but also for each of us.When getting along with people, if you always emphasize differences, you will not get along well.Emphasizing differences will make people more and more distant, and eventually lead to conflict.Getting along with people is easier if you focus on what they have in common with you.

Keyword perception: cooperation
Cooperation and competition seem to be incompatible, but in fact they are mutually dependent.In the era of knowledge economy, competition and cooperation have become an irreversible trend, and cooperation and team spirit have become more important than ever. Only by acknowledging the limitations of personal intelligence, realizing the dangers of self-enclosure, and clarifying the importance of cooperative spirit can it be effective To make up for their own deficiencies through cooperation in order to achieve the goals that cannot be achieved by individual strength alone.

(Chapter 4 Sharing—Happiness is when you share with others
Only when a person learns to share his strength with others can his personality be brought into full play.

Harmony lies in sharing
The water of Lake Tiberias and the Dead Sea in Israel flows down from the roots of Leba cedars on Mount Hamon, and the water quality is clear and clean.Because Lake Tiberias has a water outlet, its water quality can maintain vitality.The running water can not only flow away from the outlet to irrigate the Jordan Plain, but also maintain the beautiful and charming scenery of Lake Tiberias.

The Dead Sea is different. Although its water quality is the same as that of the lake, it has no water outlet. It does not pay but keeps it, so it makes people feel horrible, and the entire Dead Sea is therefore filthy. It is an out-and-out pool of stagnant water.This is the difference between the selfless and the selfish.

While all want to make life full of joy and blessing, only some are ready to give, like Lake Tiberias, while others only know how to take, like the Dead Sea and the salt lake of Gomorrah .

Since you want to share the fruits of other people's dedication, you have the responsibility and obligation to give the same thing.Since you are a part of the society, it is your responsibility to contribute to the society.

The same is true if you want to fill your life with love or other things of value.Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin.If you want more love, fun, respect, success or anything, the solution is simple: give and share.Don't worry about anything, people are doing it, the sky is watching, everything you pay will come back with interest!
John Wooden said: "Do something for those who can never repay you, and your day will be more perfect." Unconscious acts of kindness spread happiness, and when you feel happy yourself, you can also be kind treat others well.If you can't make others happy, you won't be happy yourself.By sharing your wealth with others, you will make the world a better place.

Once you have the courage to develop this ability to share with others, you will discover the greatness of life.In life, we should follow the following principles: the most worthwhile wealth we have is those things that are not reduced after sharing, and those things that are more shared and doubled; the least worthy of our possession are those things that dissipate once shared thing.When we share our physical strength, quickness of mind, charismatic personality, and high spirit with others, they multiply accordingly.

A professor said to his students: "The city is built by a few people, but the majority of people live in the city; the subway is built by a few people, but the majority of people ride in it; Skyscrapers and factories are built by a few people while the vast majority toil in them."

Achievements are not entirely made by one person.When a person can openly admit to himself and others that he did not achieve these achievements alone, and therefore cannot enjoy the glory alone, a sense of perfect harmony emerges within himself and in his relationships.

Weeds in the closed exclusive club

Mrs. Bell is a rich woman. Her garden is so big and beautiful that many people can't help but run into it to play.

Young people danced cheerfully on the grassy lawn; children plunged into the flowers to catch butterflies; old people squatted by the pond to fish; some even set up tents in the garden, planning to spend their romantic holiday Midsummer night.Mrs. Bell stood in front of the window, looking at this group of happy people, watching them singing and dancing heartily in her garden.The more she looked at it, the more angry she was, so she asked the servant to hang a sign outside the garden gate, which read: Private garden, please do not enter without permission.But it didn't work at all, and those people went into the garden in groups to play.Mrs. Bell had to send the servants to stop it, and there was a dispute, and someone knocked down the garden fence.

Later, Mrs. Bell came up with a wonderful idea. She asked the servant to take down the sign outside the garden gate and replace it with a new one, which said: Welcome to come here to play. For safety reasons, the owner of this garden In particular, remind everyone that there is a poisonous snake in the grass in the garden.If anyone is accidentally bitten by a snake, please take emergency treatment measures within half an hour, otherwise life will be lost.Finally, let me tell you that the nearest hospital is in Weir Town, about 50 minutes' drive away.

This is really a wonderful idea. After seeing this sign, those fun tourists are afraid of this beautiful garden.But a few years later, tourists went to Mrs. Bell's garden again, only to find that because the garden was too big and there were too few people walking around, it really became overgrown with weeds and venomous snakes, and it was almost deserted.The lonely and lonely Mrs. Bell guards her big garden, and misses the happy visitors who once came to her garden.

Each of us has a beautiful big garden in our hearts.If we are willing to let others grow happiness in it, and let that happiness nourish our own, then the garden of our soul will never be barren.

Don't let your heart be captured by wealth and forget about benevolence. The meaning of wealth is not to own it completely. If you want to get happiness and happiness, you must have a benevolent heart.Kindness can turn hell into heaven, and kindness can make the garden in the heart beautiful forever.

There is a Jewish elder who loves to play golf.On a Sabbath, he violated the rules that Jewish believers must rest and not do anything on the Sabbath, and secretly went to play golf.

This was discovered by the angel, and the angel angrily complained to God, asking God to punish the elder.God said yes.The elder came to the golf course, swung his club, and actually scored a hole in one.Playing all the way to the ninth hole, the elders played super perfect results, and almost all scored holes in one.Because he played so well, the elder decided to play nine more holes.After playing [-] holes, his score has surpassed that of any world-class golfer. The elder was so happy that he wanted to play again.

The angel asked God angrily, "Is this your punishment for the elder?"

God said: "Exactly, if you think about it, he has such amazing results and excitement, but he can't tell anyone. Isn't this the best punishment?"

Having someone to share is an important feeling, and a life without someone to share is a punishment.

Keyword insight: share
Sharing is the law that makes you happy. Knowing how to share means that you are an open-minded, warm, friendly and helpful person.Give someone a rose, leave a lingering fragrance in your hand; spread love, and reap happiness.

(Chapter 5 Rejection - Don't let yourself be someone else's puppet

The courage to say "no" doesn't necessarily cause you trouble, but it relieves you of stress.If you are unwilling to say "no" now and continue to accumulate your unhappiness, one day your patience reaches the limit and you yell "no" out of control. Faced with an unmanageable mess, others may turn around and ask you unforgivingly: "Why didn't you say it earlier?"

Saying "no" is a choice
Not long after Luo Ning started working, his aunt came to this city to see him.After Luo Ning accompanied his aunt around the small town, it was time for dinner.

Luo Ning only had 50 yuan, which was all he could afford from his aunt who treated him well. He really wanted to find a small restaurant to eat casually, but his aunt chose a very decent restaurant.Luo Ning had no choice but to bite the bullet and follow her in.

(End of this chapter)