Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 35 Stirring the foundation is risky, so be careful when mobbing

1
Xiaolu warmly recommended me to watch "A Good Woman", that is, "I Love You Morris", starring Jim Carrey.I heard it was a comedy, so I took my sister to watch it together.It turned out that something was wrong. There was a sex scene at the beginning, and then there was a hint of the male lower body. After turning to the basic plot, it became more serious. It made me blush and heartbeat, and I felt awkward with my sister.I thought to myself, how can I watch this thing with children (although my sister is an adult...), so I kicked her out.

The next day I met Xiao Lu on QQ, and asked her how she could recommend me to watch this kind of film: "When I found out that it was a base film, I was worried that my sister would be badly affected and become a rotten girl, so I rushed her out! After hearing this, Xiaolu said quietly: "But since your sister already knows that this is a chip, how will she feel about your behavior of driving her out and watching it by herself?"

……correct!What will she think of me!
2
I saw a recruitment notice downstairs, saying that it was the peak fishing season recently and needed manpower.No education background and experience required, come and go to work at any time, including food and lodging. What I do is sort fish and shrimp. The daily income is 200-300 yuan, and the monthly income is 3000-6000 yuan... Oh, oh, the salary is very good. !And going fishing is really a man's romance. From now on, I can ride the wind and waves every day, and write manuscripts with hands full of fish smell at night... I really want to apply for the job!
I told Xiaolu about this beautiful plan.Xiaolu asked: "Are there any women in this job?"

I said, "No, all of them are men."

"The fishermen seem to be very tough, don't they?"

"Yeah, Wu Dasan has thick hair and a strong sweaty smell all over his body."

"You said it includes room and board? Then you might live with them?"

"Yeah, this is a very interesting material, and it may bring me a lot of inspiration."

"Give it up, look at your innocence and tenderness, if you really stay with such a large group of stinky men, you will be taken by them as a woman in turn. Because you are the last boat, the youngest seniority The shallowest, so you are obliged to serve the seniors of the entire ship. It is useless for you to resist. When they are disabled, they may wrap you in a broken fishing net and throw you into the sea, and you will become the most basic in history. It's a floating corpse."

... The beautiful ideal was shattered by the heavy-tasting fantasy.

3
I recently sorted out old comics, among which there are quite a few pirated versions of "Doraemon".This is my favorite manga. Although it is worn out and incomplete, I still take the time to review it with great interest while tidying it up, so I saw...

There is a story like this, Doraemon gave Nobita a prop called "Lover Umbrella", as long as two people walk under the umbrella together, one will fall in love with the other.So Doraemon was taken by an uncle, and Nobita suffered from Fat Tiger's crazy pursuit of "I love you! Don't leave me!"...

There is also a story that Fat Tiger misunderstood that his sister was interested in Nobita, so he ordered Nobita to become his brother-in-law.In order to train Nobita, he even contributed himself as a model to teach Nobita how to fall in love.I saw him hugging Nobita's waist affectionately, and when Nobita wanted to cry without tears and said "I, I really like you...", he also said affectionately: "I'm so happy, Nobita."

Turning another page, I only saw the gentle scene of Nobita taking a bath and Doraemon rubbing his back...

... There is such a basic plot in such a pure book!What did I watch when I was a kid!

4
Summer is almost over.In this summer, I often see glasses running outside, tanned.I asked him what he was doing, and he said he had recently been volunteering as a lifeguard at a community pool.

I said: "Oh, then your swimming skills must be very good, and you can rescue anyone who falls."

Glasses draped my shoulders and said with a lewd smile: "That's not always the case. If the drowning person is an ugly monster, of course I will rescue him as soon as possible without causing any damage to him. But if the drowning person is a good-looking I will wait patiently until he almost passes out after drinking water and then rescue him, and then give him artificial respiration..."

I immediately dismissed the idea of ​​visiting the community pool.

5
The painter cooks a dish of sweet and sour fish in the kitchen.I saw him wielding a kitchen knife to scrape the scales, very devoted.As an open-minded learner of cooking, I stood aside and watched for a while, and suddenly, "Oh!" The painter screamed.It turned out that his index finger was accidentally cut.The glasses sitting in the living room heard it and ran over to ask what's the matter. The painter raised his finger to him cheerfully and said, "It's nothing, my finger is coming. Do you have sanitary napkins? I mean Band-Aids. Haha." After hearing the painter's joke, Glasses walked over to pick up his hand without saying a word, put his fingers in his mouth, and sucked them gently and carefully.

This scene left me stunned.The painter who was involved didn't know how to react for a while. In the kitchen, only the dying fish was still struggling to die.

After a long while, he finally finished sucking the glasses. He gently spit out the artist's finger from his small cherry mouth, and stretched out his tongue to lick his own lips. He smiled slightly and said, "It's all right." measures.I asked the glasses: "How does it taste?" The glasses said coquettishly: "Salty, the smell of blood." I said solemnly: "That should not be the smell of blood. I often see him picking his nostrils with that finger." .” The face of the glasses changed drastically.

... This incident tells us: There are risks in stirring up bases, and we must be cautious in mopping up money.

6
Chatting with Xiao Lu about the current music world, and talking about the two pop kings Jay Chou and Leehom Wang.I said: "What impressed me the most was that these two people praised each other and sang each other's songs at an awards ceremony in a certain year." Xiaolu was very interested when she heard it, and asked what was going on, and asked me to talk to her as soon as possible. Recap.I said: "Jay Chou sang 'baby~you are my only~both worlds are transgender~' to Wang Leehom, and then Wang Leehom replied, 'I don't understand~your black humor~[symbol format]'."

Xiaolu said: "Obviously, Jay Chou is a gay guy, he showed love to Leehom Wang in public, and hinted that he could change his gender for him, but Leehom Wang is a man who doesn't understand style, he took Jay Chou's sincere confession as black humor."

...Is that so?What a hidden dragon and crouching tiger entertainment circle!
7
My cousin's family recently came back from the United States and brought back his youngest son, who is only eight months old. He is chubby, chubby, and cute. He is not afraid of life.I couldn't bear to put it down after I picked it up. I squeezed, touched, kissed and licked.Ah, those pink and tender thighs like lotus root, that elastic soft skin, that apple-like smiling face with dimples...I really like it to death.I flirted all night.

After returning home, he said to Xiaolu, "No wonder those monsters in the fairy tales like to eat children. I understand them completely now! I just wish I could eat that little ghost in one bite."

Xiao Lu was silent for a while, and said: "If we have children in the future, we must have girls."

"Why?" I asked.

"If I have a son, I always feel that he will be raped by my own father..."

"..."

This reminds me of a philosophical discussion I had with Xiaolu: Why was patriarchy so serious at one time?Xiao Lu raised the possibility that it is because there are too many homosexuals in our country, because homosexuals like men, so of course they want sons more than daughters.

...I can hear you talking.If you are gay, there will be no offspring!
8
After a month-long hiatus, "One Piece" is finally about to usher in a gorgeous serialization!There are different opinions on how the brand-new plot of "two years later" will unfold.I also dragged the deer to discuss it.

"What do you think Luffy will become?" I asked.

"Luffy? What's his situation now?" Xiaolu, who only read the booklet but didn't follow the series, asked back.

"He is now practicing on the island with Rayleigh, the former deputy of One Piece."

"Oh, it goes without saying that he and Rayleigh must be having an affair."

"……Why?!"

"Lonely and widowed on the same island for two years, what else is there to do besides stir up sex?"

"..."

"So what about Zoro?" I asked again, "He is practicing with Qiwuhai's Hawkeye."

"Two men again? Of course they are troublemakers."

"..."

"What about Usopp? His master is also a man..."

"Stir base."

"Where's Sanji?"

"Stir base."

"Where's Chopper?"

"Stir base."

...Anyway, as long as it's a man, it should be gay, right?According to what you said two years later, the Straw Hat Pirates have become a gay group, so why not go to a new world of P!

"Perhaps, the so-called new world is a world where men and men can ignore other people's eyes and live together calmly and happily." Deer said sacredly.

9
A while ago, my friend got married and went to help decorate the new house.He ordered a welcome display board to be erected at the entrance of the hotel online, and it happened to be delivered when I went to his house.When it was disassembled, it turned out to be a fat man with a very hearty smile, and the fat man made a clasped fist.I looked at my friend with horrified eyes.

"You order this kind of thing? It's still the same size..."

"The other party sent it by mistake! It's not what you think!"

"This man is quite fat, do you like this type?"

"They say you made a mistake!"

"Aren't you getting married soon? What about your wife?"

"..."

Having been with Xiaolu for a long time, I have become more and more sensitive about the matter of "ji"...

10
Everyone already knows that Xiaobei is now a primary school teacher.That day I went to find Xiaobei with Xiaolu, she said on the phone that she would be down soon, and we were waiting at the school gate.Through the school gate, I looked at the elementary school campus that I had not seen for a long time...Suddenly, I found behind a pine tree, there was a little boy who was probably in the first grade sneaking around, obviously wanting to urinate everywhere!I got into a mischievous mood, uttered a few strange yells to get his attention, and then looked at him triumphantly with an expression of "Aha! I found out that you are doing something bad!"Xiao Zhengtai was at a loss for a moment, maintaining the posture of wanting to urinate but not daring to urinate... Then she finally cried out in fright, and escaped from behind the pine tree in embarrassment, just in time to meet Xiao Bei, and plunged into her arms inside.

"Wow, what's the matter?" Xiaobei stroked Zhengtai's head, as if he knew her.

Mrs. Xiaozheng turned her head and pointed at me, and said, "I peed, and he kept looking at me!"

Xiaobei said softly to Zhengtai: "Forgive him. That uncle likes to watch boys pee. Because he is gay."

"Teacher, what is a gay?"

"The fags are..."

Before Xiaobei could finish explaining, I rushed in and stopped her.

Sir, are you really a teacher? !

(End of this chapter)