Low-key life, high-profile work

Chapter 3 Don't be impatient, keep a normal heart (2)
There is room for negotiation
The wolf found a hole at the foot of the mountain, through which many small animals passed.It was very happy, thinking that as long as it guarded the cave, it could eat all kinds of delicacies.So it blocked the other end of the hole, waiting for the small animals that came to the door.Soon, a sheep came, and the wolf immediately chased it.The sheep ran away desperately, and escaped from a small side hole in desperation.

It turned out that there was a small hole here!Angrily, the wolf blocked the side hole.After a while, another rabbit came, and the wolf was overjoyed.It thought: Don't want to slip away from my mouth this time!Unexpectedly, the rabbit was small and slipped away from a smaller hole next to it.The wolf was so angry that it checked carefully and blocked all the small holes. "Huh! Don't talk about a rabbit, even a mouse, don't even think about escaping from my clutches." After a while, a squirrel came. Because there was no hole, the squirrel was chased up and down, and the wolf was so happy haha laughing out loud.Finally, the squirrel escaped through a passage on the top of the cave while the wolf was not paying attention.The wolf's nose was crooked, and it worked hard for a long time, blocking all the holes and passages.It dares to swear that if there is another animal, it must be its own food.As a result, a tiger came. The wolf was frightened and ran away.The tiger chased after him, and the wolf ran around in the cave, unable to find the exit, and was finally eaten by the tiger.

Breaking someone else's way usually means breaking your own way.If everything is too extreme, the ship will capsize. The fate of the wolf cannot be blamed on others, everything is self-inflicted.Who made it not leave a way for other small animals to retreat?There is no retreat for others, and sooner or later there is no retreat for myself.

There are many unknowns in life, and no one can predict what they will encounter until the end.

There is a persimmon garden in the countryside of northern Korea.In the golden autumn season, the yellow persimmons are really gratifying. They are sold out as soon as they hit the market, and the sales are very good.With such good persimmons, local farmers will keep some good persimmons on the trees every autumn for magpies to eat.The tourists don't understand: Isn't it a waste to give such a good fruit to the birds?The farmer explained: "This is the habitat of magpies. Every winter, many magpies build their nests here. If they can't find food, they will all starve to death. Then the next year, the caterpillars in the persimmon garden will die." There will be flooding, and there will be no yellow persimmons on the trees. If there are magpies, this kind of thing will not happen. Therefore, when the persimmons are harvested every year, people will leave some for the magpies for the winter."

There is an old saying: "To draw the bow too much is inexperienced, and to speak too much is to be inexperienced." Mature people will not do things well, and those who lack experience do not know how to leave a way out.In life, no matter how you behave or do things, you must learn to leave room for others.Only when there is leeway, can there be enough room for maneuver, and only things that seem to be crisis can turn around.

Ms. Lu subscribes to a magazine with two issues per month.In the past, Ms. Lu could always receive magazines on time. In recent months, she found that occasionally she could not receive magazines.She called the post office, but the post office always said that it had been sent, and the rest had nothing to do with the post office.Ms. Lu was very angry, but there was nothing she could do. She planned to unsubscribe next month.

One day at noon, Ms. Lu went home early and saw that the magazine had arrived.As soon as she was going to pick it up, a fashionable girl walking in front quickly took the magazine away!Ms. Lu could see clearly, thinking about how useless she was at the post office, she shouted: "Stop! This is my family's magazine!" She should understand what happened.Facing such a young girl, Ms. Lu suddenly softened her heart and said, "Has your family also subscribed to this magazine?" The girl immediately said, "Well, mine has also subscribed. Ask why my house hasn't arrived yet." After finishing speaking, the girl returned the magazine to Ms. Lu and went upstairs.Since then, when the girl saw Ms. Lu, she always smiled before speaking, and the relationship between the neighbors became more harmonious.

There is no need to question, no need to expose, see through but not explain, avoiding a lot of embarrassment.The party who made a mistake knew that he was wrong, and he couldn't say anything about the tolerance of others, so everyone was happy.How about a different way of handling this matter?If Ms. Lu pointed out the fact that the girl stole other people's things, but the girl refused to admit it, the two parties had a big quarrel, and the relationship between the neighbors dropped to a freezing point;We are neighbors, and it is not good for each other to make trouble like this because of a magazine.

Relax your heart, leave some space for others, and leave some room for yourself.

A salesman likes to talk bad words.He thinks that if you have nothing to say, customers will be embarrassed to reject you, and the turnover rate can be increased.On this day, he came to a newly completed community to sell vacuum cleaners.He knocked on the door of a resident and talked endlessly: "This is a new type of vacuum cleaner that can clean your floor spotlessly in 10 minutes. If you have plants in your house, it can also make your room clean." It produces aroma! If my vacuum cleaner can’t do this today, I’ll give you this high-end vacuum cleaner without paying any money.” The host smiled and said, “Looks like you’re going to give me one today. The vacuum cleaner is gone, I believe your vacuum cleaner is very powerful, but our community will be powered on the day after tomorrow, and your vacuum cleaner can’t do it today.” After hearing this, the salesman walked away in despair.

It is not easy to do business without room for turning around. If you want others to agree with you, you don't have to show all your cards.Brighten some and keep some, and those reserved places are where everyone negotiates for a win-win situation.

Wisdom
Rivers rise and fall, so that they will not flood; mountains rise and fall, so that beautiful scenery is formed.The so-called "there is no unparalleled road", even the heavens will leave room for people to turn around, let alone us mortals?Giving each other a little space to turn around is to give each other a chance to choose. This is a virtue and even more respect.

You bicker, I listen
Henry has worked as a driver and as a car salesman, but they have not done well. The root cause is that he loves to argue with people.For example, if a customer says that his car bumper is not good enough, the general salesman either admits the fact and then introduces the excellent product, or finds some other reasons to dispel the customer's doubts.But Henry couldn't swallow this breath. As long as he heard customers criticize his products, he would quarrel with customers impatiently, forcing customers to take back their words, or listing various reasons to refute customers.

Customers have always been picky, and it is normal for them to talk about the lack of products because they want to get a price reduction.Seeing Henry's excitement, the customer turned around and left without saying anything.Henry apparently won the argument, but his car didn't sell.

Arguments never produce winners. Some things seem to be won by themselves, but they are actually obtained at the expense of other greater costs.Henry wins the war of words, but loses the client.What about such an argument?
For the same thing, you can say it eloquently, reasonably, humorously, and of course you can say it blushingly.

In a blind date show, more than [-] female guests ushered in a lawyer.The lawyer is above average in height and appearance.After a brief communication, the female guests had a good impression of him.

As the communication continued to deepen, the lawyer's shortcomings were exposed.A female guest casually mentioned: "Your tie looks good in texture. If the color is darker, I believe it will show your temperament better." This was a well-intentioned suggestion, but the lawyer responded Very big, he said: "The style of your skirt today is a bit young, it doesn't suit you well." The female guest froze for a moment, then stopped talking.It was only later that people discovered that as long as someone made some suggestions or pointed out some problems to him, he would not resolve everyone's doubts, but strongly refute them. Sometimes he would even point out the other party's shortcomings tit for tat, leaving people speechless.

He confronted more than [-] people, and after several rounds of confrontation, he finally failed and left the stage.A female guest said angrily: "I don't know if he is here for a blind date or for a debate. It seems that we are all opposing debaters."

"Win the face, but lose the lizi." This sentence can't be more accurate to describe those who are good at talking.Instead of "losing the face", it's better to sell the other party's face, benefit others and yourself-your generosity has won respect, and his vanity has also been satisfied.Everyone looks good-looking, and it can also promote harmony in interpersonal relationships. Why not do it?

One evening, Dale Carnegie was invited to a dinner party.During the banquet, an old man made a speech, which he said came from the Bible.Dale Carnegie couldn't help but retorted: "My God! Is it from the Bible? I'm sure it comes from Shakespeare's works." Because Dale Carnegie is very familiar with this passage, he must be in a certain work of Shakespeare. Yes, so I expressed my opinion in a good teacher's tone.

The old gentleman frowned and asked impatiently: "Is it from the Shakespeare collection?" In order to maintain his dignity, the old gentleman began to refute fiercely.Also present was a friend of Dale Carnegie's, to whom both wranglers sought advice.The friend quietly kicked Dale Carnegie under the table and said, "This old gentleman is right, there is indeed this passage in the Bible."

On the way home, Dale Carnegie asked his friend why he did that.The friend said: "Of course I know it comes from "Hamlet", Act V, Scene [-], but dear Dale, we are just guests, why do we have to prove him wrong? If so, will he still like you? Why don't you Save some face for him? Besides, he didn’t ask for your opinion, so why did you jump out and argue with him? It’s best never to confront people head-on.” This incident deeply touched Dale Carnegie.

Maybe there will be such a situation: we stop ourselves, but others don't give up, insisting on competing with us to win or lose.That being the case, it might as well be a good person to the end, he will do what he says, be strict with himself, and be lenient to others.Of course, in order to avoid embarrassment, you can also subtly change the subject.

After the famous Soviet poet Mayakovsky recited his new work on the stage, someone in the audience asked rudely: "You said you were a collectivist, why do you always have ' I...'How do you explain this?" The poet then replied: "Nicolas II always said 'we...' Do you think he is a collectivist?"

As soon as the voice fell, the audience immediately burst into applause.Regarding other people's difficulties, Mayakovsky did not give a positive explanation to the "I" of the other party's question, but changed the subject and answered with Nicholas II's "we", which not only avoided his own embarrassment, It is not a good way to confront the opponent.

Wisdom
Sit quietly and think about your own life, and don't talk about others' faults.When a quarrel happens to us, shut up in the spirit of "more is worse than less".Otherwise, winning is just a vanity, but losing more.

Only by restraining yourself can you restrain the situation

Mr. Dai is an engine salesman. He has successfully sold several engines to a large factory.A month later, Mr. Dai came to the factory again, hoping to sell a few more.But when the manager Zhang of the factory saw him, he was furious: "How dare you come again, boy? I didn't ask you to return the product, it's already good, and you dare to sell it again!" It was the first time Mr. Dai heard such a nasty speech from a customer.He thought that he hadn't heard any problems reported by other customers in this month, maybe there was some misunderstanding here.So, he tried his best to suppress his unhappiness, and asked the customer with a smile: "Manager Zhang, what's wrong with you?" "Your engine temperature is too high, you dare not touch it with your hands." Manager Zhang replied.Mr. Dai thought to himself: As long as the engine temperature does not exceed a certain standard, it is normal. If you don’t test it, it’s not good. It’s a bit arbitrary.Mr. Dai knew that he couldn't say that, so he said to Manager Zhang: "I agree with what you said. If the engine temperature is too high, I can return it to you. What do you think?" Manager Zhang nodded and said, "That's too Okay!" Mr. Dai said again: "Manager Zhang, according to the industry standard, the temperature of the engine can be 72 degrees higher than the indoor temperature, right?" Manager Zhang nodded and said, "That's right." "Then can you tell me Me, what's the temperature in your workshop?" "About 65°C!" "The temperature in your workshop is 65°C, plus 72°C, that's 137°C. Think about it, we will still have 99°C water It feels hot, let alone the engine? So don’t touch the engine with your hands in the future, so as not to get burned.” Manager Zhang realized that he had made a mistake when he heard this, and felt that Mr. Dai was a real person, so he ordered another Order.

Arguing with people when you hear bad words will only add fuel to the fire.Unnecessary quarrels are not conducive to the resolution of the matter, and will hurt each other's feelings.Mr. Dai's approach is worth learning: first restrain your dissatisfaction, calm down the other party's anger with good words, figure out the ins and outs of the matter when the other party calms down, and then deal with the problem from the other party's standpoint.

There are always accidents in life. For those unhappy things, if you have to vent hysterically every time, it will not help the resolution of the matter itself, but will give people the impression of being petty.Instead of spending time with dissatisfaction and anger, it is more practical to actively seek countermeasures.

The water dispenser in the room was out of water, and the boss took the cup to the staff office outside to get water to drink.Maybe his footsteps were too light, maybe no one thought he would go outside to fetch water. When the boss walked to Xiao Zhang near the water dispenser, he found him watching a movie.The boss was very angry at the time: I paid you a salary, but you didn't do your job during working hours.He originally wanted to reprimand Xiaozhang, thinking that Xiaozhang was an old employee, and he wanted to save him some face, so he only knocked on his desk when he passed by, and Xiaozhang hurriedly turned off the movie.

After receiving the water, the boss stood in front of Xiao Zhang, looked at him anxiously, asked him about the progress of the project without saying anything.Xiao Zhang repeatedly promised to complete the project with high quality and quantity before Wednesday, and the boss nodded and left.The other employees didn't know what happened, only the boss and Xiao Zhang knew it.

Getting angry is a pleasure, but the "pain" of pleasure is also a "pain" of pain, and everyone has to bear the responsibility for their own actions.If you treat others roughly, you will bear the consequences of the same brutality; if you treat others tolerantly, you will bear the same tenderness.People often say that "life is a mirror", and this is what they mean.How others treat you depends on what you do.When we are misunderstood or wronged, we must restrain our unhappiness, explain in a more gentle way, and calm down the dissatisfaction of others, which will be more conducive to the resolution of the matter.

A pregnant woman and a woman had an argument while taking a bus. The two sides initially refused to give in to each other, but later they began to abuse each other, and their words were extremely mean.An old man next to him couldn't stand it anymore, and said to them, "Come and sit in my seat! It's just a seat, don't hurt the baby in your belly." The two women were ashamed, and then the non-pregnant woman was the first to say: "I'm also very angry. I forgot that you are still pregnant. Sit down!" The pregnant woman was also very embarrassed, and explained: "You don't know, elder sister, my leg is swollen, otherwise I wouldn't fight you." "Forget it! Forget it! How can I be embarrassed?" The two declined, and the pregnant woman sat down.

There is an old saying: "Don't reach out and hit the smiling face." No matter how big the disagreement is, once it rises to the point of verbal abuse or even beating, it is not the fault of one person.The so-called "one slap can't be clapped", everyone treats disputes with tolerance, restrains their own dissatisfaction, and listens to each other's reasons, and everything will become harmonious.

Stanford University in the United States once conducted an experiment: there were dozens of children as young as 4 years old in a room, and a piece of jellybean was placed in front of each person.The teacher told them: "After the teacher leaves, you can eat the candy in front of you, but if anyone wants to eat after the teacher comes back, the teacher will give him another piece." Then the teacher left.Some of these children resisted the temptation, overcame their ego, and got two candies; others eagerly enjoyed the candy almost as soon as the teacher left the classroom.

After 10 years, the emotional and social differences of these children were obvious: those children with strong restraint were more competitive, self-confident and efficient, strong ability to withstand stress, not easy to collapse, and It is easy to win people's trust; those children who cannot stand the temptation obviously lack these qualities, and have many character defects such as low self-esteem, cowardice, and indecision.This is the famous "growth tracking experiment".The strength of restraint ability directly indicates the future of the individual.

Wisdom
Everyone cannot exist independently of society, and bumps and bumps are unavoidable in interpersonal communication. This requires us to be more tolerant when interacting with others, and to be more understanding when encountering dissatisfaction. Don't let your emotions get out of control. imagine.

It is better to be angry than to be angry
Anger, resentment, anger, cowardice, sullenness... there is "qi" everywhere, and there is "qi" in everything. It seems that without "qi", it is not life, not life.Is it like this?
Nine out of ten unsatisfactory things in life.In the process of chasing your dreams, you will often encounter setbacks and difficulties, and you will be ignored, despised, ridiculed, even insulted and trampled on.If you care about every detail, can't bear it, choose to escape and fall down, then you will end up harming yourself!As the saying goes: "People fight for breath, Buddha fights for incense." When encountering various tricks, it is better to warn yourself, fight for yourself, and use your ambition and success to frustrate the opponent's spirit.Only by enduring and taking all these as the driving force for success can you achieve yourself, win dignity for yourself, and truly gain the respect of others.

(End of this chapter)