Smile is very alluring: the charming temperament you want most

Chapter 18
——Being in the world with a calm attitude

Roses, from budding to withering and withering, are quiet and calm, without panic. This is a calm gesture.Women should do the same in life. On the impermanent road of life, they should have a restrained and charming soul, a kind of calm and easy-going demeanor that is not surprised by changes, not flamboyant in the world, not vulgar in life, and not surprised in the world.This calm charm is not only a kind of temperament training, but also a kind of wisdom in life.

You don't have to be beautiful, but you have to be extraordinary
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A person should set up a benchmark in the depths of his soul, so that he can gather around him what is unique in his personality and show his distinctive characteristics.

- Gorky
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Around us, we often hear someone say that someone is "really vulgar", and we also hear someone praise someone as "beautiful".It can be said that among all the words to describe people, "tacky" must be an unpopular one, while "free from vulgarity" shows a distinctive and extraordinary temperament.

It can be said that a refined woman may have a beautiful appearance or an ordinary appearance, but she exudes a charm that impresses and amazes people.Because in people's eyes, no worldly fireworks can be seen from refined women, they seem to be beautiful elves from another world.

Hao Yanli is a media manager of a public relations company. She has been married to her husband Wen Tao for nearly ten years.However, they did not have the so-called "three-year pain" and "seven-year itch" that most people have experienced, but they have always been in love, just like when they were in love.This can't help but make the friends around me very envious, and it also makes everyone full of doubts: How does Hao Yanli maintain this state?Why does her husband always treat her so well?
In fact, Hao Yanli's happy marriage is inevitable, because she always has a refined temperament that makes her husband admire her.It is precisely because of this refined temperament that his husband has never admired the "colorful flags" outside, because in his eyes, those women are too vulgar, while his wife has a refined temperament that has made him ten years old. Love her like a day.

Whenever a friend jokes or asks them the truth of happiness, Wen Tao will say to his friends: "Yanli and I have lived together for nearly ten years, and our life is actually the same as everyone else's life. Ordinary life. But she always has a refined temperament, like a mystery, I like this kind of temperament, and it may be something that many people don't have."

Indeed, women with refined temperament may not belong to this world. They are like angels, blending into the world, but outside the world.

A woman who is free from vulgarity will not be fettered by the daily chores, because they are able to handle them freely and let themselves be free and easy.The reason for this is that they don't like to care about everything, and sometimes they would rather choose to suffer in exchange for the peace of themselves and the world around them.It's not that they don't care about world affairs, but they often see the world more clearly. They choose to deal with problems calmly, and may suffer some losses because of this, but their hearts are peaceful.

He Wenting works as a salesman in an immigration company. Because of her elegant conversation and outstanding appearance, many customers are willing to buy her orders and increase her performance.

Although her work performance is excellent, He Wenting doesn't particularly care about it.When colleagues meet potential customers, they will actively contact them, and even find opportunities to invite customers to dinner, karaoke, etc., in order to connect with each other.

But He Wenting has never done this before. Her principle is: work is work, life is life, and eating is part of one's life, a "private matter" outside of 8 hours, and should not be disturbed by work.

Many people call her thoughts and actions "stupid", but He Wenting has always stuck to her principles.Due to outstanding performance, He Wenting was promoted to business manager by the company after working for two and a half years.

In fact, perhaps it is He Wenting's unique and refined temperament that has won the appreciation and trust of customers.This not only brought her good performance, but also won her the trust and favor of the leaders.

Around our lives, if you pay attention, it is not difficult to find girls like He Wenting, they have a light and elegant flavor.Whether such a person is beautiful or not, he can stand out from the crowd and become the focus of everyone's attention.

Maybe some beauties think that we are all ordinary people, living in a big society with all kinds of things every day, who can guarantee that we can not be vulgar?If you also have this idea, then please go to the pond to see the lotus in your spare time.It is truly untainted from the silt and exudes the cleanest color and brilliance.In fact, you can too.

Don't be surprised by favor or disgrace, pave the way for life
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Life is like three courses of tea: the first one is bitter like life, the second one is sweet like love, and the third one is as light as a breeze.

——San Mao

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Where does a person's charm come from?It can be said that it comes from inner calmness.But what is calmness?That is to practice a kind of ability to keep the mind as still as water, and keep the waves calm. No matter what kind of situation you encounter, no matter what kind of environment you are in, you can keep your body and mind in a peaceful and peaceful state all the time.Life is often unsatisfactory, and only by maintaining a calm and calm, giving our impetuous hearts the most gentle comfort, can we lead us to the life we ​​want.

Seeing the hustle and bustle of the world, women always have too much resentment and dissatisfaction... Some women who are not strong-willed often have emotions such as depression, anxiety, and anger. .

Just imagine, if a woman has a little setback in life, she will become hysterical, she will give up halfway if she has a little trouble at work, she will part ways if she has a little friction in marriage, she is in a hurry every day, running around, and she can't tell whether she is happy or sad... ...So, can you feel her beauty?The answer speaks for itself.

On the contrary, if a woman does not have too much harshness and overly strong desires in her heart, and is not too entangled in success or failure, she can control her life calmly and firmly. This is also a kind of success in the individual heart. The charm of this kind of person is undoubtedly Powerful and stable, the radiated energy is also more shocking.

Less anxiety, more open-minded; less impetuous, more charm; less confusion, more happiness.A calm woman has a strong heart. With this kind of tolerance, a woman who is not beautiful will also have a chewy charm, an attractive charm, and the power to reach the other side of happiness.

How can we maintain a calm and calm?It's simple, tell yourself that even if things don't go according to your plan, the world will go on and life will go on.This is bound to happen, and both success and failure, gains and losses, are precious gifts, the ingredients that make up life.

Dong E is a woman who lives a very calm life. No matter how bad things happen, her child fails the exam, her husband is incompetent, and she is criticized by the leader. She insists on living happily every day.Every morning jogging, the rising sun, and the cool morning breeze are all happy in her eyes.

A friend asked Dong E: "Why are you always so calm? Are you happy all day long?"

Dong E smiled lightly and replied: "Things are already like this, what's the use of being anxious, nervous, depressed... Besides, the child is well-behaved and sensible, my husband treats me very well, and I haven't been laid off, why not be happier? It is a day to be happy, and it is also a day to be unhappy, of course we must be happy, we must enjoy life!"

Accept everything that life has given you, cherish what you have already got, don't be jealous of other people's achievements, don't rush, don't overdo it, don't force yourself, don't be occupied by sorrow in your heart, and your personal charm is also spread in this silent and indifferent smile , Invisibly leave a deep impression on others.

There is a famous saying that goes well, "Indifferent to life, life is rare to be indifferent, and it is rare to be calm. Indifferent to gain, calm in loss."For women, worrying about gains and losses will make you lose the beauty you deserve, and only being calm and calm can decorate your life with endless bright colors.

Of course, maintaining a calm and calm is not passive waiting, let alone obeying the mercy of fate.It means that there is no need to deliberately force everything, and it is a life attitude of conforming to the destiny and being at peace with the situation, doing what you should do, and there is nothing you can do if it is impossible, as long as you have a clear conscience.

"Because of fame and fame, you are selfless and generous." If you want to become a real beauty, you must learn to abandon greed and learn "inaction, non-competition, non-greed, contentment", don't care too much about gains and losses, but Pay special attention to success or failure, so that you don't like what you gain, don't worry about what you lose, don't be surprised or afraid, and don't worry or get annoyed.

Eliminate the interference from the outside world and know what you want most. In this way, you will naturally have a peaceful and peaceful state of mind. Enemy, life will have a higher meaning.

Be calm, look down on things outside of you, and master the balance between gain and loss, take and give up.

Be calm, not demanding, not vain, and let everything go.

Be calm, dare to love and fight boldly, but also be able to hold on to the lonely waiting...

Give yourself a world without complaints
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Teenagers never complain about their blooming youth. The beautiful years are precious to them, even if it has all kinds of scenery.

——French novelist Georges Sand
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When you chat with friends, do you often hear voices like this: "Don't mention it, I'm busy like a spinning top every day, but I can't be understood by others"; I can do everything"; "It would be great if my husband could be more romantic, he is a dead brain"...

All of the above are full of people's complaints about the people or things around them.But what about the complaint?It is nothing more than making yourself more miserable, and making the listener lose interest in actively talking, but the facts themselves have not changed in any way.

Some people say: "Life is a sandwich, with happiness wrapped in two layers, and the middle layer is up to your taste." If you add happiness, your happiness will double; if you add complaints, the happiness you could have will also be doubled. Humble down to the dust because your world is starting to suck.

What's more unfortunate is that complaining is like a drug, it can be addictive, and people develop the habit of complaining when they encounter problems, but never find the reason from themselves.Complaining is like a wheelchair for those who "can't stand up" mentally. After sitting for a long time, they forget how to walk. If a person forgets how to "walk", what will happen to his life? continue?
Xianglin's wife is a miserable woman. Her life was very rough. She was married twice, and both husbands died of illness.The only son also died tragically.This series of blows made her heart full of pain. In order to relieve this distress, she talked about her tragic fate to everyone she met.At first, people did give her some sympathy, but then the villagers began to hate her, and even avoided her when they saw her from a distance.Later, Master Lu Si of the host family also began to hate her, first he refused to let her interfere in the sacrifice, and then drove her out of the Lu family in a fit of anger.Mrs. Xianglin lived on the street, and soon ended her poor and miserable life.

The death of Mrs. Xianglin was a tragedy caused by the feudal system, but we should also see one thing from her: Complaining will not bring sympathy to others, it will only make oneself annoying and make people want to stay away.Besides, Mrs. Xianglin was quite popular before she complained.No one wants to listen to a person talking about the misery of life and his own misfortune all day long.In life, some people like to complain about their uncomfortable experience. They are not really sick, but they just have such an idea in their hearts that "patients will always get sympathy and care from others."This is true. People have a heart of compassion. When they see those around them suffer from illness, they will obviously show some concern.However, if you complain blindly and don't grasp the "degree" well, it will only attract people's resentment.It is simply impossible to get the continuous sympathy of others through complaining.

Of course, complaining is a self-defense mechanism in human nature, and it is really difficult to completely cut it off.If you feel that you can't stop complaining at all, you should at least remind yourself when you complain that this complaint is only a temporary vent, which can be used as an anesthetic for the soul, but it is by no means a cure for the soul.

In fact, when the environment cannot be changed, we can only improve the environment through our own efforts. If there is no way to change many things, then choose to accept and adapt. Maybe this process will be full of hardships, but as long as you persist, you will be able to Arrive at the final destination, ushering in the beautiful scenery infinite.

Slowly, you will know that when you trek through the years silently, you find that pain also brings you valuable life qualities, such as self-esteem and tenacity.Perhaps this corresponds to a saying: a lot of pain is the best thing life can give you.

Jingyi is a woman with ill-fated fate. No one knows how much pain she has experienced in her thirties.However, this quiet and delicate woman is always smiling.Now, the God of Destiny seems to have begun to favor her, and she has also found her own happiness.Regarding the past, Jingyi always smiled and said: "It's nothing, it's all in the past. For all my experiences, whether it's pain or happiness, I cherish it equally."

Jingyi's hometown is a remote mountainous area. Since she was a child, she has determined to change her destiny by herself and get out of that mountain.After studying hard for more than ten years, she finally got into a good university with excellent grades.But just a few days after running around to collect tuition fees, my mother, who was sick from overwork, passed away.This accident forced Jingyi to give up her plan to go to university. She carried simple luggage with her thin body and came to Beijing. From then on, she lived a life of self-study and part-time job.After living like this for three years, she could bear the hardships of life, and she also silently endured the pain of her body.She has been in poor health since she was a child, and she suffered from severe malnutrition in the past few years, and even suffered from liver disease.What made her even more painful was that after learning that she had a severe liver disease, her boyfriend with deep affection abandoned her with all her savings... She did not fall down, but chose to live strong.

Now, Jingyi's liver disease has been cured, and she has passed the graduation exam of a certain university, and found a person who truly loves her.The two agreed that the day of their marriage was the day when their own small company was established... Whenever she mentioned this, Jingyi didn't feel emotional, she just said: "Whether it is bitter or sweet, this is life. The accumulation of pain , which is the meaning of life.”

This is an exciting story, how much pain and suffering a young woman has endured!But she is still strong and optimistic, and still maintains her yearning and pursuit of happiness.She is right, pain is also a precious wealth for our life, it is worth cherishing as much as happiness and joy.

All in all, if we want to put ourselves in an ideal state of life, we must first optimize our "subjective environment" and overcome our "complaints".When faced with various unsatisfactory environments, we should not complain about the environment needlessly, but actively and optimistically create conditions and win support.We have to tell ourselves that living in this environment, we must learn to adapt to it. Only in this way can we find the warmest home for our souls.

Be a "happy" woman
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What we miss most about women is not necessarily the enjoyment of the senses, but mainly the pleasure of living around them.

—French thinker Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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(End of this chapter)