The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 31

Flying short and flowing long means to gossip, to comment on the good and bad of others.This is also a big taboo in strike up a conversation.Sincerity is the most important thing in interpersonal communication, and we must meet each other with sincerity.The practice of playing ghosts behind people's backs in person and discussing other people's rights and wrongs in private is not conducive to unity, and it will also hurt the feelings between friends, and eventually make you lose friends.Therefore, the following points should be paid attention to during the chatting process.

One is not to interfere with other people's privacy.We advocate that friends should treat each other with sincerity and be open-minded.But this is not to say that the individual has no secrets at all and must make everything about himself public.As long as it does not violate the law and morality, does not harm the interests of others or infringe on the rights of others, everyone can have their own privacy.This privacy should be respected and protected.It is immoral to spread other people's privacy as news, and it is a violation of the person's personality.

The second is not to make subjective assumptions and make wild guesses.In daily life and work, some people like to catch rumors, make trouble out of nothing, and create some so-called news.As everyone knows, doing so not only creates conflicts between people, but also damages the reputation of the parties involved, which is not conducive to the smooth progress of normal exchanges between people. Most people despise such people.Therefore, in social interactions, you must learn to look at people with kind eyes, and you cannot listen to the wind as the rain.

The third is not to spread some irresponsible gossip.Gossip is often unconfirmed news, and some are even fabricated out of thin air.Therefore, a person with high morality, self-cultivation and sociability should consciously resist gossip instead of following the crowd and enjoying talking about it.

Fourth, you can't gloat over your friends' mistakes.People can not escape from doing wrong!Mistakes and mistakes in a person's work and life are inevitable.You can't turn a blind eye to your friends' mistakes, let alone gloat, but actively help each other and give advice.That's what you call a true friend.Only such a person can win the trust of friends in social interactions and make more and better friends.

Fifth, don't keep your promises

There have been sayings about credit since ancient times, such as "A promise is worth a lot of money" and "Once a word is spoken, it is hard to follow". The word "credit" is the most important in social communication.Therefore, in order for others to believe in you and respect you, you must keep your word.The ancients said: "If you don't have faith, you can't make friends." If you don't have faith, you won't have your true friends.In order to keep your word, you must restrain yourself from the following aspects.

One is to treat friends with sincerity.Be honest with your friends. Only by keeping this in mind can you build a relationship of mutual trust with your friends, and your friends will trust you.

The second is to remember your promise.The "one promise, one promise" mentioned above is to tell us not to make promises to others lightly. Once you make a promise, you must remember it and spare no effort to fulfill it, otherwise you will lose your trust.

The third is to keep your word and act with fruit.A person must be responsible for his words and deeds at all times, he must do what he says, and don't say what he can't do.We must strictly abide by our credibility and never break our promises.Those who keep their promises will be respected by others; those who do not keep their promises will lose their trust.What you say in the strike-up conversation must count, and you must never break your word. You must keep your word and act with results, otherwise, no one will want to communicate with you anymore.

Sixth, avoid not paying attention to details
There is a saying that "details determine success or failure", which shows the importance of details.Why do you say this way?Because details are a way of thinking, a creative angle, and a vision of discovery, and such a way, angle, and vision will inevitably have an impact that cannot be underestimated on all aspects of life.Details are also important to the success of chatting up strangers.For this reason, when chatting with people, you should pay attention to the following details.

One is not to whisper.It is very impolite to whisper to your companions in full view. Whispering can be regarded as a precautionary measure taken by distrusting those present. It will not only attract others to stare at you, but also make others doubt your upbringing .

The second is not to laugh out loud.No matter what "earth-shattering" interesting things you hear, you have to maintain your demeanor at social banquets, at most you can smile brightly, otherwise you will be ridiculous.

The third is not to talk about it.During a banquet, if a man wants to chat with you, you must maintain a generous attitude and simply answer a few words.Don't rush to "report" your life experience to others, or inquire about them in detail, otherwise you will scare them away, or be regarded as a gossip.

Fourth, don't spoil the scenery.In social activities, an environment where many people are unfamiliar with each other, others expect to see a cute smiling face, so you must not be depressed. characters, environment.In terms of action, facing these strangers who have just met for the first time, you can start to strike up a conversation with a few insignificant words. If you always sit and keep silent, with a solemn expression on your face, you will be incompatible with the happy atmosphere.

Seventh, avoid inappropriate questions and answers
An inappropriate question-and-answer format will lead to a failure of the strike-up, and even during the strike-up process, it may be terminated immediately because of the inappropriate way of asking questions or answering questions.

One is to ask questions.Don't ask questions for the sake of asking questions, only ask questions that are "useful" for your approach.This "usefulness" mainly refers to helping you judge the opportunities and possibilities of getting along with each other at the moment.

Second, I always like to use interrogative sentences.Whenever possible, use declarative sentences instead of interrogative sentences.For example, saying "Are you waiting for someone" to someone who is wandering in the lobby is not as effective as "It seems your friend is also late."After careful understanding, the tone of the latter is more decisive, natural, and friendly, and it also subtly hints at the state of the person who strikes up a conversation.In contrast, the former simply asks questions without explaining any information about yourself, and asks the other party to provide you with her situation, which can easily make the other party nervous and resistant.

The third is to ask the other party to answer the question.You must not do this!For example, the essence of the two sentences "I want to know you" and "How about we go together" is "I am a person who wants to know you" and "I am a person who wants to go with you", which is just to state to the other party that you intention of coming.But if you are silent after speaking, then these two sentences will become pure interrogative sentences.And the other party must make a choice between "yes" and "no".At this time, out of self-protection instinct, it is easier for the other party to answer in the negative.Therefore, the key skill is not to be silent, not to be embarrassed, not to wait for the other party to speak, but to immediately cut into the second sentence of small talk.For example, "how is the weather today", "how is this place", etc. In this way, both parties have steps.

Fourth, the question at the end is not direct enough.The last question when striking up a conversation is usually asking for contact information.Telling your wishes frankly to the other party is actually a way to show your own value.For example, brave and confident men can satisfy women's vanity better than men who beat around the bush.Therefore, the way of finding a reason to say goodbye first and then asking for a phone number is actually very naive, unless your target is a child who is not deeply involved in the world.

In short, when striking up a conversation with a strange customer, you must avoid the taboo of speaking, and don't let your own careless words damage your image.

Further reading: Don't talk to people who are busy
Some people love being approached, while others absolutely hate it.The reason is that sometimes it is not a person who hates chatting with each other naturally, but is affected by some external factors.If you don't realize that your approach will affect others, usually in this case, the approach will be rejected.Therefore, when the person who strikes up a conversation wants to express, he must first know whether the other party can listen, or whether he has time to listen to you.

In fact, the biggest difference between striking up a conversation and normal social interaction is that the two parties temporarily break away from their social roles at the beginning. They have neither interest nor interpersonal relationship with each other, so that they can feel each other in a more natural way.If you look pleasing to the eye, continue, and if you don't agree, you will refuse. It is very democratic and true, and no one needs to be polite.The person being approached will not intentionally get acquainted with you because of your social role, nor will he forcefully give you a number because he can't save face.In normal social interaction, these two situations often happen, and the result is that you waste your time and money, and sometimes you lose money and people.Therefore, the suggestion here is that if you really want to know someone, don't do it when the other person is working. You might as well wait for the other person to get off work, or even create an unintentional encounter.

Busy people naturally don't have time to chat with you. At least they will teach you with words, and at worst they may do it. This is not impossible.So, strike up a conversation must grasp good timing.Pay attention to the feelings of others before striking up a conversation. This is respect for others and respect for yourself.

(End of this chapter)